A/N : Prepare yourselves, readers. If you love Edward, leave now. Everything you know has changed.

There are some things I need to address before I start the story, please, everyone read this for clarification.

I don't remember if SM had vampires bleed in the saga, but my take on it is this: Vampires drink blood, and it obviously goes through their system to keep them strong, right? Therefore, they bleed in this fanfic. Haha. They don't scar though, if anyone was wandering.

Next, Crying. For the purpose of this story, vampires will be able to cry. They still function like people, and I can't come up with a reason why they shouldn't be able to cry. Either way, I only address vampires crying once more in this story, and that's in this story. So, bear with me for this.

Finally, I'm not sure if SM mentioned it at all in the saga, and I don't know if this is common knowledge or something, so I'm stating it here. Vampire venom is deadly to werewolves. If a werewolf gets bitten, they become immobile, and if it isn't withdrawn, they will die. Blah blah blah, techniques have been passed down through the tribe on how to pull the venom out, so on and so forth.

I THINK that covers everything. I'm glad my readers are really shifting through my story. It makes it that much better. If you find ANYTHING wrong with my logic, please, tell me. I'd rather write a story you guys enjoy, than one that no one will read but me.

OH! I'm sorry if this has any grammar errors. I'm editing on my laptop, and it has a stupid misconception of what real words are. AND, further on, I'm sorry for not replying to EVERYONE'S reviews. My fanfiction is lagging in sending things to my email, and I've been so busy trying to push out this chapter. School is really going to put a dent in my writing life. But I will never hold out on my readers!

Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 22 – Breakdown

Edward's POV!

I ran as fast as I could. I didn't know what Alice would tell our family. I didn't even know if she would tell them anything. If she did, would they try to stop me?

I arrived in Port Angeles when the sun should have been right above my head. There was no sun. Just like Forks, it was shrouded in clouds for the day. I slipped onto the street and blended in with the throng of people. I searched.

What I was searching for? My family would have killed me. Disowned me, thrown me out. Carlisle would have probably invited the Volturi's wrath on me now. I spotted her, walking about a block away.

She was blonde, and thin. Thin, but busty in all the right places. She wore a tight skirt that shifted around her thighs as she walked. Some sort of dress shirt, a white one, clung to all her curves. I adjusted my speed so that I would catch up with her over the next half a minute.

I focused on keeping my eyes from showing my hunger. Ever since I'd let my thoughts run on Bella, I remembered the smell of her blood. The sight of my own on my fingers from the scratch on my face was just a reminder of her. I knew that by now the scratches across my face would be gone. I really had to talk to Rosalie about how much that stung, one day. Maybe I'd show her.

I was behind the blonde now, listening in on her thoughts. Something about an appointment with some corporate business, somewhere or another at two. I wanted to tell her she wouldn't make that meeting. I slid in next to her and slowed my walk to match hers. She turned and I glanced at her.

What the hell is this idiot- Wow… Hubba hubba.

"Hi, my name is Kathryn," she said, offering her hand. I flashed her what must have been a dazzling smile. She slowed her pace as I took her hand and pulled it to my lips, kissing it. I watched her as I did it. Her eyes fluttered, I felt her heart beat pick up pace. I let her hand go.

"Hello, Kathryn. My name is Edward," I said, keeping my pace as it had been before she slowed down. She trailed after me for a moment, and then stepped up to my side. I grinned inside.

"Would you like to catch some lunch?" she asked, glancing at the expensive wrist watch decorating her thin arm.

"I would love nothing more," I said, placing my hand on the small of her back and guiding her out of the throng of people and onto a not as populated street.

"Where do you have in mind?" she asked. Her green eyes were stroking my skin, making me purr. Reading her thoughts, I knew she enjoyed everything she saw.

"A small place I know. It's not too far," I said, pulling up the back of her shirt a little. I stroked my thumb over her skin and felt the hunger roll over me as I felt her blood flowing beneath my hand. The thoughts running through my head were mouth watering. We walked in silence for another two minutes. I had only seen one other person on this street. I followed his thoughts until he turned the corner.

Her hormones were bouncing off the wall, her thoughts, driving me insane. How I wanted to touch Bella how she was thinking I would touch her. I glanced around, realizing this was just like the spot I had saved Bella from the filthy scum that had wanted to rape her, that fateful night. I gripped the blonde at my side's hip, remembering their thoughts. The hunger in me grew. It was blood lust now.

"Hey, I don't think there are any lunch places down here," she said, slowing her walk.

"Right here," I said. My voice was husky, and deep. I guided her into an alley between two broken down stores. It reeked of overloaded trash, but that wasn't a worry of mine as I stepped close to her. I backed her up against the concrete and her whole body fell under my control.

"This wasn't what I meant by lunch," she breathed. I kept my eyes hooded, lowered from hers. I slid my hand up over her arm, caressing her flesh. I moved my hand up her neck, then slid it into her hair, gripping it and pulling her forward. Her eyes fell shut as our lips met. She melted.

"God, you really know where to take a girl," she said between the kisses I was trying to keep her from talking with. As far as I knew, my eyes were black now. I trailed away from her mouth and down to her neck. I tried not to moan. It didn't work. Her heart beat was right there, right beneath my tongue. It wasn't Bella's, she didn't smell amazing, but she was the closest I would get in this town, this easy.

She moaned after hearing me moan. I slid one hand down her side and gripped her hip, keeping her pressed against the wall.

"Ow, what are you doing?" she asked, trying to wiggle free. I snaked my other hand up and pressed it over her mouth, pulling away from her neck and opening my eyes. She screamed beneath my hand as I stared her straight in the eye. The fear, the adrenaline rush, her heart beat quickening. Yes, this is what I needed. I wanted her to fight me, but there was no way she'd win. I wanted to savor this. I loosened my hold on her hip a little as she struggled against me. She was trying to bite my hand and I laughed aloud.

"Try it," I said, pushing my finger forward a little. She bit down on my finger, but her teeth apparently weren't strong enough. She looked at me, fear and shock in her eyes. She shoved her leg out and tried to kick me but I pulled away and slammed her against the wall. She cried out, my hand muffling all the sound.

"Esme always told me not to play with my food," I said, grinning. I felt my fangs showing. If I thought she'd been afraid before, it was nothing compared to now. Her eyes were so wide, I thought they were going to pop out of her head. I lunged forward and sank my teeth into her neck.

She screamed against me, thrashed, but I felt none of it. My eyes opened as the blood seeped into my mouth. Down my throat, into my system. It was liquid fire, traveling and churning through my body. It warmed me, made me breathless. Her screams had died, only a memory in my subconscious. I sucked until there was nothing left. Then I sucked some more. I wouldn't risk her turning into one like me.

No, that right was reserved for Bella, and Bella alone.

I finally dropped the blonde's body to the floor. Her white, pressed business shirt, once so flawless, was now soaked through with blood. Her legs were open at indecent angles as she tumbled to the ground, amongst the dirt and scum. Where humans belonged.

I licked my lips and then wiped at my mouth. Apparently, I had made a mess. I leaned down and ripped off the girl's shirt, using it clean what was left on my face. I licked my fingers, seeing I had somehow in the process touched her blood. I threw the shirt over the woman's body and then turned, slipping out of the alleyway.

I felt new and whole. I hadn't felt like this since that night James had attacked Bella and I had had to suck the venom from her writhing body. But this time, I was not flooded with guilt. This time, I wasn't worried. I was strong, satiated.

My thoughts turned, wondering how long it would be before my eyes began to turn red. Most likely? Only two or three more sessions like this. I felt nearly giddy at the thought.

And Bella… I would get her back. I would kill those flea hotels and I would bring her back into my arms. I wondered if she was already trying to get away from them.

I resurfaced onto the crowded streets and glanced at my reflection in a passing store. Perfect once more. My thoughts drifted to the wolves, then. I would need help to get past them. To kill them.

There was no turning back to my family. Not once Alice had told them what I'd done, who I was becoming. She would have no choice, even if she didn't want to tell them. Soon, the mutts would realize there were attacks in Port Angeles. I would have to travel further. They would turn on my family, and the Cullen's would tell them I'd gone rogue. They would keep their treaty between them. I would be cast out.

I laughed aloud, drawing attention from more than one person. I couldn't help it.

For once, I was living.

Alice's POV

"No, Edward-" I said, turning to the door. Jasper felt my emotions. He was trying to soothe them. I was grateful. I don't think I could have handled the fear and betrayal of our family member. Jas was taking the brunt of my feelings. I knew he was confused.

"Where's he going, Alice?" Esme asked me, walking up to me. I had never seen her so flustered. Was it because she thought Edward had done something to Bella? I still didn't know what he had done. I should have been watching for his decision, after he had left to save her. But I had been so shaken by Rose, so distracted by Jasper, I hadn't even thought to look.

"Is he going for Bella?" Rose asked, stepping up behind Esme. I felt like I was in a lion pit. One wrong thing and they might attack.

"No, he's not going after Bella," I said. How glad I was that the mind reader of the family was not the one asking me questions. He was gone. He was forever gone.

"Then where?" Esme asked, her eyes pleading with me. The news was going to break her heart… I opened my mouth, I tried to tell them. But nothing came out. I couldn't do it.

"Alice, what is he doing?!" Esme asked, her voice becoming shrill. She was worried. She was worried about Bella, but I shook my head. I could tell her that. It was true.

"He's not after Bella anymore," I said, touching her shoulder. She glanced at my hand and then looked back at me. I felt horrible. Would she make me lie to her?

"Alice… Is he in danger?" she asked. I suddenly thought of Italy. Oh, damn! Of course that would be the first thing she thought. I flood of relief went through me, but I was still on pins and needles.

"No, he's not going to the Volturi. Please, don't ask me anymore. He wouldn't want you all to know," I said, turning towards Jasper then. The look on his face was so pained, I couldn't take it. I grabbed his hand and started dragging him back to our room downstairs.

Esme was already at the phone, calling Carlise.

"I think you need to come home. We all need to talk… Yes, now," she said as I shut the door to our room.

"Alice, what happened? What WAS that? I couldn't handle the p- the pain," he said, grabbing my face. I felt the tears in my eyes then as I looked up at him. He was slipping on his emotions, losing mine also. Everything was rushing back at me. I told him what I saw. A woman, lying at Edward's feet, blood spattered across her shirt. He pulled me close and cradled my head to his chest. He was still trying to get a handle on himself, let alone me. I tried to bite back the emotions flooding through me.

"What have we done to him, Jas?" I asked. He pulled away immediately and put his finger in my face, reprimanding.

"Don't you dare, Alice. Don't even think about blaming yourself or anyone else for Edward's decisions. No one is responsible for his loss of control. Only him," he said, and I felt myself cracking apart again. His fingers stroked over my cheek, trying to calm me. I didn't want to feel this way.

Denial, anger, fear, it was all running through me. I'd never felt like this before, not even when I'd discovered that Bella had decided to meet James in the ballet studio. Not even when I saw that Edward was going to Italy.

He had completely lost it. He killed a human. I didn't know if he would ever be one of us again. I didn't think anyone in this family would accept him back after they realized what he had done. Sure, attacking a human because of lack of self control could be forgiven. But this? Going out of the way to drink from a human?

A tear slipped down my cheek and Jas caught it, pulling me into his arms again. He was stroking my hair, trying to soothe me.

"What are you going to tell everyone else?" he murmured into my hair. I shut my eyes tightly. I didn't even want to THINK about thinking about that subject. I let out a deep breath into his chest, my forehead pressed against him firmly. I tried to figure out what I would do.

I hadn't even made that choice yet…

Bella's POV

"Hey, dad?"

"Hey, Bells, it's nice to hear from you. I couldn't ever catch you at home," he said. I didn't notice how tense I was until all the relief swept through me. Finding out he was ok… It was almost as good as seeing Jake again. Almost.

"Yeah, I guess you were just really busy, and I was really sleepy," I said, smiling. I twisted the cord of the phone in my hand. Emily had brought it to me. She now sat at my side, waiting for me to finish.

"So what's going on?" he asked. Oh, shoot. I forgot I had called to lie to Charlie. The guilt was already swarming up into my throat.

"Oh, um…" Emily shooed me with her hand, urging me to go on. I swallowed dread. "Everything's good, I was just wondering if you could come down to Billy's once you're off work? I came to visit, and I'm here with Jake and Emily right now," I said, spitting out the whole phrase as fast as I could. I let him take a moment to process the information. Charlie wasn't fluent in frantic teenage girl.

"Yeah, sure, I can drop by tonight. You want me to bring you home?" he asked. I heard his voice laced with concern. I tried not to let the guilt swallow me whole.

"I'm not sure yet. I was thinking of staying the night at Emily's… You know, girl's night," I said, twirling the cord again. He'd take that like a ten pound fish. He loved La Push, and he loved that I was hanging out with people again. Especially when they weren't Ed-

I felt tears choke me again. It was just like last winter all over again. Even his name was causing me pain and stress. This time, it was worse. Now, they involved anxiety attacks. Emily's hand was on my back, rubbing me gently. I tried to swallow back all my emotions, all the fear.

"Well that sounds great, Bells. I'll be over around four then. That's when I'm off," he said. I wish he had taken longer to talk. I needed more time to reconstruct my voice.

"Bells? You sure you're ok?" he asked. He almost made me break down worse. I cleared my throat. I acted as if I had gotten something in my throat. Emily yanked the phone from me and cleared her throat also.

A/N : Insert "Don't Ever Leave" by Smile Empty Soul. These are Bella's feelings about Edward at the moment.

"Hello, Charlie? Hey, sorry, Bella had to run to the restroom. She's actually caught something, I think. The flu. Otherwise, she's fine," she said. I pulled a pillow into my chest and muffled my face with it. I breathed in deep, trying to calm myself as the tears flooded from my eyes. God, I was an idiot. An idiot for everything.

I'd trusted Edward. I had fallen in love with a vampire, and it had come back and bitten me in the ass. I felt so broken, so battered. Emily had cleaned me up, as best she could while in the living room, but I felt dirty, rotten. I felt like my skin was crawling, like I had bugs feasting on my skin.

"No, she'll be fine. Please, come on over. I think we'll all be getting together tonight for the game," Emily said, resting her hand on my back again. I heaved, trying not to make a sound that Charlie could possibly hear.

"Alright, we'll see you then," she said, and then I heard the phone go back onto the hook. She put it on the side table and then wrapped her arms around me. I finally let out a small cry, unable to hold everything back.

"It's ok, Bella. He's not here. He won't ever be here," she said. Her hand was stroking over my head, trying her best to calm me. She had already had to do this twice. I hadn't been able to tell her a goddamn thing about what had happened because every time I tried to speak about -him- I started this panic attack. I couldn't deny that the first thought in my head had been will the nightmares come back too?

She rocked me in her arms for about five minutes before I could finally pull my face out of the pillow. She pulled my hair back and secured it with a rubber band that had been around her wrist. She sat on the table to give me more space on the couch now. I looked at her, gratefully.

"I'm sorry, for everything," I said, wiping at my eye. I was still in my pajamas, and I felt like crap. Jake had been gone for an hour now. Sam had just gone to fetch him before Emily told me I should call Charlie and have him come over. She knew I was afraid for him. I'd managed to get that much out.

What if -he- went for him? I felt the unease crawl back into me and Emily grabbed my face.

"Bella Swan, stop thinking about everything so much. Just relax. You're overtaxing your body and emotions. Stop apologizing. No one will accept them when you have nothing to apologize for," she said, making me look her dead in the eye. I let out a breath and she gave a short nod, waiting for my agreement. I finally nodded. She let me go, gently.

She picked up a rag and dipped it in a bowl of water she had next to her. She began dabbing at my head again.

"So, your situation," she said, peering at my hairline. "No bruises in incredibly visible places. Most of the blood was coming from the gash in your head, which is hidden by your hairline. The bruises on your arm and legs can be covered with a long sleeve shirt and pants. I'm going to wrap your wrist, and you're just going to say it's a little tender from writing, or something. I still need to see if you can walk on that ankle. It looks pretty swollen, even with the ice." She spoke as if she had a check list in her head, and it almost made me smile.

"In other words, you should be ok to see Charlie when he comes over later. You might just have to walk on your ankle lightly. Jake will be around to help, either way," she said, dipping the rag in the water again. "You really know how to jump out of a truck," she said softly. I tried not to laugh. The comment just seemed to funny to me. So I laughed. I laughed a lot.

Emily's arms were around me again and I hugged her, the laughter uncontrollable now.

"Shh, Bella, you're coming down from the shock… It's ok," she hushed me. I was crying now. The laughs had turned to sobs once more.

"I thought I came out of shock an hour ago," I said, trying to stifle the tears but to no avail.

"No, no this would be the shock, actually," she said, patting my head. I rested my temple against her chest, letting her warmth pull me in. I just needed to feel warm. I'd felt cold for so long. I wanted nothing to do with anything lower than my body temperature. Apparently I'd said it out loud. Emily pulled away.

"I'll get you some hot chocolate. Give me two minutes," she said, backing away as if I were going to fall off the couch. When she left, I felt the loneliness seep into my soul. I didn't ever want to be left alone again… I would beg my dad to let me live at Emily's for a while, if I had to. I hiccuped and glanced around, trying to catch something that would keep my attention until Emily came back.

It felt like an eternity later. She brought the hot chocolate and pressed it into my hands. Her presence and the warmth pressing through my hands made everything start to calm down. She wiped at my eyes again before I pulled the cup up to my face and breathed in the warmth. I shut my eyes and took a drink, burning my tongue. I didn't care. It was a welcome pain.

I held the cup in my lap as I turned to Emily, feeling her observing me. She had those eyes. Those curious, frightened, worried eyes. Those same eyes that had questioned me in the kitchen five days ago.

"Bella…" she said softly. I glanced down into the cup, stroking my thumb over the rim. I needed to tell someone about what had happened. I couldn't imagine someone easier to tell than Emily. I would never be able to tell my dad or Renee. And I wasn't close enough to any of the other wolves. Except Jake…

I knew I would be telling him. I was going to tell him everything, if he wanted to know. I wouldn't keep anything from him anymore.

"The night I left Jake, to go home-" I started, but there was a knock at the door. I bit on my lip. Emily looked near aggravated as she stood up and walked over.

"Sorry, we didn't want to barge in without warning," Sam said as he walked through the door Emily held open for him. He kissed her cheek and I glanced away.

"We called Charlie. He'll be at Billy's around four," she said, closing the door. I lifted my head and saw Jake walking towards me.

"Bells-"

"Jake!" I cried, putting my cup on the table and shoving the blankets off me. I tried to get out of the couch, got my foot out, but the other was caught in the blanket. I tripped and stumbled forward but he was there to catch me. He engulfed me in the tightest hug I'd ever experienced.

"Jesus, Bella… You have no idea…" he whispered. I couldn't breathe. I didn't care. He was so hot, so comforting. He lifted me off my feet and carried me back over to the couch. He sat me down and sat beside me, already reaching for my hair, my wrist, inspecting my ankle. Emily and Sam disappeared into the kitchen.

"I'm ok, I'm alright," I said, grabbing his hands to still their fluttering movements over me. It was like he didn't know where to touch. He pulled his hands from mine and placed them on my face, making me look him straight in the eye. I closed my eyes as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead, tightly. He wrapped his arms around me again, engulfing me in heat.

This is what I needed. Not hot chocolate, not girl talk, not tending to. I needed Jacob, wrapped all around me. I wanted to drown in him. It was all I ever needed. All the tension that had been wrapped inside me for five days had left. Any thoughts of pain and suffering, of tears of sadness and hatred, it was all gone. He eliminated everything from my mind. All I knew was Jacob.

All I ever wanted to know again, was Jacob.

A/N : For once, I enjoyed writing Edward's POV WAY more than this last section. I'm losing interest in Bella's POV, so I hope you guys don't mind I do mostly everything in either Sam's, Jake's or Emily's view from now on. Mind you, there will still be Bella POV, but they are going to be very scarce. I just don't like writing her views unless I need to get a point across, which was necessary in this one. Now you see what she's feeling, we can move on to Jake's POV next!

Reviews please! I'm getting so burnt out. I can't wait to get to the lemons. Haha.

Thank you again, reviewers!

BTW, The Smile Empty Soul song in this chapter is by far one of my favorite songs right now.