Chapter 4. Honesty
You can save me from the man I've become…
An awkward silence once again hung in the air as they sat together, across from each other, at the table. Cadence tried to make herself look less nervous by eating as much as she could without looking at him. It didn't take much, as the man was absolutely ravenous. He hadn't eaten in ages it seemed. Cadence stifled a sigh, and took a drink of another glass of orange juice.
Sinister could feel how awkward she felt, and glanced up at her. "Sorry…It's just been a very long time since I've had real food".
"No, it's fine. At least you like them" Cadence shrugged and went back to her food.
"So why did you leave the Sanctum?" he asked, peering over at her. It was easier to get answers when someone was eating, as the mind associated food with positivity and relaxation.
"Too many memories. I wasn't entitled to it. I wasn't the guardian, Stephen was. I just…helped in some ways".
"It was your home".
"It was a place I once lived".
Sinister nodded. "Right…we both know that's bullshit, but I'll leave it for now".
Cadence pulled her head back. "Excuse me, are you interrogating me?".
"I wouldn't say interrogating. I'm just trying to figure out where your mind is, what's going on in that head of yours. The thought process behind leaving a place you called home".
"I miss it" she admitted, "But as I said, I have too many memories. Some painful, some not so much".
"Hm…So you came here to start over?"
"I did. I needed a fresh start and Christine helped me find this place".
"Is she your sister, by any chance? You two kinda-"
"What?! No! She's like my best friend. She was Stephen's best friend. When we had the twins we made her the godmother. If something happens to us, she gets them since neither me nor Stephen have any living family left. She was like a sister to him. They grew up together".
Sinister blinked. "Oh…well…okay didn't see that coming".
"Were you guys a thing in your universe?" Cadence cocked her head.
"Yeah, for a time. But…she died and…well, I lost everything".
"I know that feeling" she took another bite.
"When you lost Stephen".
"When I lose anyone actually".
He blinked again. "Pardon?"
Cadence sighed. "Everyone I've ever cared about has died. Everyone. My parents. The first guy I liked. My friends, most of them anyway. Stephen. When I say my kids and Christine are all that I have, I mean it. Everyone else has died, or I lost track of them".
He was quiet as she spoke. All of that, and somehow she was still standing, still had her mind intact. A part of Sinister wished he could say the same. He lost everyone he loved too.
"Did he ever tell you about Donna?" he asked.
Cadence nodded. "There was very, very little we kept from each other. We were open books to each other. I loved him and he loved me. After…something very tragic happened, he told me about her. He blamed himself, in both instances. I tried to tell him neither event was his fault but I don't know if he ever took what I told him to heart".
"Something else happened?" Sinister looked interested.
"Not something for you to worry about" she stood, "I'll get the kitchen later, I gotta get ready and open the store".
"I can get it, if you want me to".
"You're a guest, even if unwanted. I won't make you do work around here".
"You're not making me do anything around here. As far as the kids are concerned, I'm a part of this family too. We share equal responsibility".
"The kids don't know any better. As I said, you're not their father".
He was somewhat used to hearing her say that, but it stung nonetheless. Sinister sighed and looked at her. "I may as well be".
"Absolutely not" her guard was instantly up.
"Cadence, if we took a DNA test right now, would it not confirm they're mine? I believe we share the same genetic code if not the same story".
"You're not, nor will you ever be, their father. Stop…pressing…the issue" she took the plates to the kitchen.
"And how do you intend to explain it when you send me back? It'll break their hearts-"
"Shut up. They're too young, they'll forget you as time goes along".
"Like you're trying to forget?" he stood up as he started to taunt her, "Your grief is holding them back, Cadence. I commend you for your strength and I admire your resolve. But you holding on is going to hurt them in the end".
"So what you're saying is I should move on with their father's murderer? What kind of message is that?"
"They don't ever need to know. Hell, they might already know, but are even more forgiving than you-"
"They don't know. I intend to tell them what happened when they're old enough to understand".
Sinister rolled his eyes. "You wear your pain like a badge of honor, thinking it's something to be proud of. No, all that pain is nothing but a suit of armor weighing you down. And if you're weighed down, imagine how your kids feel".
"Oh you're one to talk, mister obsessive" Cadence countered, "You don't get to tell me to move on, when your ass can't do the same! Until you do, do yourself a favor and shut the hell up. My pain is no business of yours".
She shook her head and moved past him to go change, but he caught her arm. Cadence didn't look at him until Sinister asked her a question.
"What is the SCP Foundation?"
He watched the color drain from her face. She slowly turned her head to look at him. "How the hell do you know about that?"
He had to come up with a lie. She couldn't know about his little excursion into her room. And surprisingly, it came easy to him. His third eye opened as if to intimidate Cadence. She looked slightly taken aback.
"You think I can't read your mind? It's always there, right in the back of that little mind of yours-"
"You're lying" she pulled her arm away from him, "Search my stuff again, and I swear to god, I'll beat your ass".
"Oh don't threaten me with a good time, crystal-mancer".
"You don't scare me".
"I don't need to, they scare you enough. You still didn't answer my question. What is it?"
"Not something you need to concern yourself with. We're off their radar, and hopefully we'll stay that way" she moved to go to her room.
"Why didn't you take them to Kamar Taj?" Sinister asked, "It would've been safer for the kids".
"It would've put everyone there at risk. And plus, my kids deserve a chance to choose their future".
She was right, to an extent. But magic was in their blood, they deserved to be trained to use it properly, to better protect themselves. Perhaps, this was an opportunity…
"Let me teach them" he proposed, "If this thing is as dangerous as you say-"
"NO! Especially not from you! My kids won't be taught dark magic. Once again, if I find out you went in my room again, I'll make you pay. Somehow or other".
"I'm not afraid of you".
Her anger was palpable, rolling off of her in waves. "You will be if you keep up your shit".
She disappeared to change and Sinister sighed. How could he be a part of this if she wouldn't let him? How could he prove he wasn't out to harm her or the kids? Especially the kids…he owed them. If nothing else, Sinister was a man of his word, as best he could be anyway. There had to be some way…
Cadence closed her door and tried to calm herself. She was angry and hurt, this asshole knew how to push all of her buttons. Just like her Stephen did, when he needed to. She put a hand to her chest and attempted to calm her breathing. Cadence closed her eyes and listed the star signs in alphabetical order to further calm herself. With her focus and calm back, she changed to something nicer, but better convenient for work. She stepped out to see him again in her living room, meditating.
Purple magic surrounded him as he concentrated, reaching out perhaps into some other world or other. Or perhaps he too was trying to get his calm back. Either way, Cadence had no intention to interrupt him. Quietly she made her way downstairs to open the shop.
Things were quiet in the shop, as they normally were. Her shop was one of curiosities, as most people had no idea how she got her merchandise. Usually in the back storage room, she would make new pieces with her hands. The shop was lined with shelves full of various crystal items, from figurines to home decorations, she had a whole supply of items she made with her bare hands. Cadence was also popular with the local Wicca community, providing crystal witches with everything they needed.
It was an interesting place, and she always made sure there was an air of positivity there. Though not a practitioner of any craft per se, she used crystal healing and when she did, it worked. It was an off-shoot of her own power, the power to heal. She could will her crystals to do whatever she needed them to, up to and including healing or at least aid in healing.
Sinister could feel her power even from the upper levels of the apartment. The whole place was heavily guarded, at least in that magic sense. He was trying to get around her barriers, trying to give himself free reign over his powers, in an attempt to get into her head. But for all his power, he could hardly make a dent in those safeguards, things she had been reinforcing for years. He was shot back into his body after a third failed attempt to cross that boundary with a curse.
"Okay…yeah…that was dumb. C'mon Stephen get yourself together" he had to think about how to get around this.
Her rule was do no harm. He couldn't use his magic to hurt anyone here, but hurt wasn't his intention, but to gain information. Forewarned was forearmed after all, and how was he to get what he needed out of her unless it wasn't in some underhanded way? Cadence hated him, and to be fair she had every right to. Intention…it was all about intent. He had to make it apparent that he wasn't after this information to harm but to help. Sinister would try one more time, and make his intent clear.
The only problem was being sincere about it. No information came without its cost after all. He couldn't fake it with these safeguards, couldn't fake it with her.
"I need to know more about them. I want to protect the kids. That's it, that's all I want".
Cadence felt him attempting to breach and looked up at the ceiling over her. Thankfully she didn't have any customers in before she went up to see what the hell he was trying to do.
"Stop! These safeguards are set for a reason! You really think they'd let YOU in?!" she demanded as his attempt again failed.
Sinister let out a growl like sound of annoyance. "I wouldn't have to do this if you'd just tell me what the hell I need to know!"
Cadence stood there defiant of him. She didn't believe he wasn't trying to hurt anyone. Hurting people was what he did best, after all. He had hurt her family more than enough times for her to know. She glared at him, veins of crystal forming on the sides of her face, like cracks in porcelain. Her normal blue eyes went silver. This wasn't anger, this was pure unadulterated rage, and he needed to de-escalate the situation before it got any worse. Sinister took a breath and stepped away from her. He was going to hate this, but knew this was the easiest way to get what he wanted.
"I never wanted to hurt anyone, not at first…" he admitted, surprised at his own sincerity.
Again, vulnerability could prove beneficial. Maybe that was what she needed to see. His heart felt tight in his chest as he thought of what to say next.
"I just wanted to be happy. I just wanted to be with someone I loved".
The veins disappeared, and it seemed as though she was finally listening to him. Still, she had her guard up, if the silver eyes were anything to go by. He didn't fail to notice a streak of white hair forming near the crown of her head.
"I didn't want to be the bad guy. I never wanted to be that. But I was desperate, and desperation…makes people do terrible things. I'm no exception. I used the Dark Hold to dream walk, to find another universe where I was happy, or where I could be happy" he dared a glance at her, "If there was a chance you could be with your Stephen again, wouldn't you take it?"
She seemed to consider his words for a moment. Sinister watched her carefully, thanking whatever higher powers there were she hadn't attacked him yet. She blinked finally and looked at him.
"He's tried. Every night. But I have to keep telling him I can't. I think he tests me".
"And the fact that you haven't given in is a sign of your strength. Admittedly it's more than what I can say about myself. I knew what would happen, if I kept Dream Walking, but I couldn't stop. I had to find out if…if there was another world out there. You at least have the strength and conviction to say no".
"My kids need me" She replied simply.
Sinister nodded. "You're right. They do. I didn't have that motivation. After the whole thing with Thanos, well, people blamed me, forced me to take responsibility for everything. As I said I never wanted to be the villain, but when you're called that by so many people, eventually you start to believe it, and then that becomes your reality. I tried to stop it before it went that far and that's what led me to dream walk".
There was another silence between them. "Why did you do it? Why did you kill him?"
"In every universe it was always the same. There was always some reason or other that I couldn't be with Christine. She died, she married someone else, hell I think even in one she didn't even exist" he chuckled without humor, "All I found was more of us, alone. Wasting away-".
"My Stephen wasn't. He had everything he could ever want-".
"But I didn't know about you, or the twins" he stopped himself, "It's no excuse, I know. Had I known…maybe things would've been different".
"Would you have left us alone?" she asked.
Sinister had to be honest. This was surprisingly easier than he thought. Several emotions were just pouring out of him in the form of words. Things he never got to express before things went too far. It was…oddly therapeutic.
"No. I wouldn't have. I would've used a soul reversal spell, took your stephen's place here and he took mine in that crumbling hellhole. And you would've been none the wiser, same with the kids".
Cadence looked down and away from him, partially hating how blunt he was and how well he had thought about that. But at the same time…
"Well…I appreciate the honesty. Thank you".
"So now that you know…where do we go from here?".
"What are you hoping to gain from this? While you have the honesty bug I may as well ask".
"All I want is to live. That's it. Same as you and everyone else".
Perhaps the multiverse would be better off without him. Who knew if he could cause further problems, perhaps another incursion? And the foundation, if they found out about him…
"And you thought me and my children were your second chance?"
"You could be".
"I'm no savior. I never have been. In fact with my track record, you may as well be running".
"Whatever it is you're afraid of, we don't share it".
The red returned to her hair, but he wouldn't say anything until later about it. Cadence shook her head.
"Yes we do".
Sinister raised a brow. "And what is it you think I fear?"
"Losing my kids. Look, we'll talk about this later. I gotta get back to the shop. Just…hang out here for a little while. I'll take a break in a couple hours and we'll see what we can do about this".
"Of course, whatever you need".
Cadence nodded and turned away to go back downstairs. He stopped her with the sound of his voice.
"You sure you don't want me to clean up?"
She turned back to him, a look of consideration on her face. "Could you? Please?".
Without waiting for his answer, she made her way back downstairs. He knew then he was in. It was amazing what a little vulnerability could do. Maybe there was a happy ending there for him somewhere, perhaps it was even here...