A/N : If any of you do that twitter thing, and get updates from people sent to your phone? Add my thing. I despise the twitter world, but if it keeps you guys up to date with me, I'll hella do it! Let me know if any of you guys are interested. Name is tracyaldis, or email is kitty gyrl 16 yahoo . com. (hint, take out all the spaces between the kitty and com) However you twitters add people.
Btw, you guys are lagging with the reviews! Except my constant reviewers, and I love you guys for trying to keep my stamina up! I apologize for the lack of updating yesterday. Hopefully this will make up for it?
Love you all. Leave reviews if you like?
Chapter 23 – Love Me
Jake's POV
Having Bella in my arms was like holding a small piece of heaven. Or rather, holding her was what I imagined heaven to feel like. I buried my nose in her hair, breathing her in. I ignored the lingering smell of leech as I noticed her hands drifting over my back, stroking along my skin. I finally pulled away and looked back at her again, rubbing my thumb over her cheek.
"Jake, I've missed you so much," she said, tears coming to her eyes. I shook my head, running my finger along her cheek.
"Don't cry, Bells… I've missed you too, just don't cry," I said, pulling her up into my arms. She sat curled up in my lap, her legs dangling over mine. I rested my forehead against her temple, shutting my eyes. I ran my hand up her back and into her hair, gently easing my fingers along her scalp. She let out a little noise that me know it felt good.
"Jake, can we go to your house?" she asked, looking at me. I kept my eyes shut but nodded, not wanting to let her out of my hold. Sadly, she started sliding out of my arms. I let her go, reluctantly. She got to her feet and I held her hand as she started to put weight on her ankle.
"Is it sprained?" I asked, peering down at her leg. Play it cool, Jake. You got this. I thought to myself. She turned to face me and shook her head a little.
"I don't think so. I've sprained my ankle before, and I think I just stressed it," she said. I breathed in and closed my eyes for a second. Bella was standing; I was sitting on a couch. When she turned to face me, it put her pelvis right before my face. Every dirty thing I had ever thought of her came and assaulted my over reactive hormonal body.
"Jake, are you ok?" she asked. I felt her cool hands on my face, stroking over my cheeks. I forced my eyes open to look at her, feeling every muscle in my body tense and become oversensitive. I reached up and grabbed her hand, pulling it to my face and kissing her fingertips. I watched her the whole time. The emotions that passed over her face got me even more riled up.
"We should go," I said, keeping hold of her hand to support her while I stood up. She began to half hobble her way towards the kitchen, calling Emily's name on the way over. It was a good thing she had. When we came to the kitchen doorway, Emily's face was flushed and she was smoothing out her shirt. Sam was standing halfway across the room, hiding a grin, I was sure.
"We're going to head out," I said. Sam lifted his head to see me and I couldn't help but bust out laughing. A wooden spoon whizzed by my ear as I ducked.
"Easy, Emily! Gee, it's not like I haven't seen worse," I said. A metal spatula made its way towards me this time. Oops. Apparently that wasn't the right way to get on her good side. On the other hand, we were all laughing. Bella's joy struck my heart like an oversentimental gong, and I glanced at her. Color had come back into her eyes, life.
A salt shaker hit me square in the head this time. I barely felt it, but Bella's mouth formed into a large "O" as she hop-walked over to me.
"Jake, are you ok? I didn't mean to actually hit you," Emily said, still laughing across the room. Bella was reaching up, touching the memory of brief pain that had occurred when I'd gotten hit. I was in awe of Bella. She had laughed, truly laughed. I felt like the air around me was lighter now. I reached up and grabbed her hand, pulling it to my chest.
"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine," I said, smiling at her. She gave me an odd look but then smiled, squeezing my hand. "And thanks for your concern, Emily!" I said, turning to look at her. She broke out into another fit of laughter, as did Sam. When it died down, I pulled Bella towards me a little.
"We'll see you guys later. Apparently we're coming over to watch the game tonight, as Em so gladly volunteered us for," Sam said, making his way over to his mate. She fit right in under his arm. I gave a nod and smiled at him once more before turning around and helping Bella to the front door.
"Let me just carry you. It'll be quicker, and it's chilly outside," I said as she pulled the door open and peered outside. She turned to look at me for a moment. Before she could answer, could think about turning me away, I moved forward and lifted her into my arms. I cradled her like a small child and stepped outside, pulling the door shut with my foot.
The walk home was brief. Too short for me to fully appreciate the woman in my arms. She was quiet most of the time, and then when she spoke, it was only to say I was getting too big and strong, she would never be able to walk again, as I would always be carrying her.
I hopped up the steps of the porch, still holding her close. She reached forward and opened up the door so we could step inside.
"Dad?" I called out, kicking the door shut behind me. He came rolling in from the kitchen. He looked tired, still. With all the events of the day, the last five days, actually, I understood. Bella hadn't known though.
"Billy, are you ok? Are you getting sick?" she asked, trying to get out of my arms. He was already smiling at her. I let her slip to the ground and watched as she made an effort to walk normally on her foot. My dad reached his hand out for Bella's and she put hers in it. He put his other hand on hers, to surround it.
"Bella, let me just say I'm glad you're back," he said, looking up at her. I crossed my hands over my chest a little, watching them. So many emotions were warring inside me. Images were flashing through my mind. Bella, smiling at my dad like that, dressed in a long white dress. Her hair curled, her smile so big it made it to her eyes. Bella, her stomach swollen with a child. Bella, holding a baby in her arms. Dark skin and black hair. Her eyes, her nose.
"Jake, are you alright?" Bella asked, knocking me back into reality. I shook my head a little, to clear it. I was getting way ahead of myself. What were these werewolf hormones doing to me? I felt like Bella was in heat or something. I smiled at her and my dad.
"I'm fine, just thinking," I said, uncrossing my arms and walking over to them. I placed my hand on the small of her back, glancing at my dad. He cleared his throat, looking up at Bella.
"I'm going to head on to my room, to rest. Haven't gotten much of a chance lately," he said. I practically begged him with my eyes to keep quiet as I pulled Bella towards my room.
"Later, dad," I said. He started wheeling to his room, tossing a glance back at his shoulder. One that said, 'THAT is my best friend, the chief of police's, daughter. You better behave.' I tried not to snort. If only he knew how difficult this truly was.
"Bye, Billy," Bella called over her shoulder as I helped her into my room. I shut the door behind us and turned around. I knew my room was a mess. I started moving around, clearing a path through my clothes and books, cds.
"Jake, you've been neglecting your spring cleaning," she said. I turned around and she was pulling a pair of boxers off my chair near my dresser. I jumped towards her and yanked them out of her hands, shoving them in my dresser. She brought her hand up and giggled into it, making her way over to my bed.
I ran over to it before her and pushed up the pillows, pulled the blanket over it and kicked some weird stuffed animal over the side. She sat down and I went over to the window, opening it so it wasn't as stuffy and dark. I opened the blinds a little to let in what little light was coming in from outside. It was midday, and it was completely overcast. A breeze blew in that sent a chill through me.
"Jake, can you close the window a little?" Bella asked. I turned to see her sitting on my bed with her arms wrapped around herself. I watched her for a moment but then turned and dropped the window til it was only open an inch.
"Thank you," she said, her voice small. I walked over to her and crossed a leg under me on the bed, sitting beside her. She didn't lift her eyes so I helped her. I guided her face up with my thumb and forefinger. I ducked my head under a little as she kept trying to look away. I caught her gaze and she lifted her head a little so I could see her better. There were tears swimming in her eyes, threatening to overflow. I uncrossed my leg and slid it around her back, placing my other one over her legs, trapping her waist between my legs.
"Bells, what's wrong?" I asked, wrapping my arms around her. She leaned into me and ran my hand over the back of her head, shushing her.
"The cold… I can't stand the cold," she said. I began to run my hands up and down her side, her arms. I knew she shouldn't be cold, not with the temperature my dad kept the house and with me wrapped around her. I just wanted to comfort her. I didn't know how else to do it.
I didn't know if I could do anything to help. I still didn't even know what had gone on. It didn't seem like anyone did. I ran my hand through her hair once more before I put my hand on her cheek, pulling her back so I could look at her again. The dreaded question. I didn't know if I was ready for the answer.
"What happened?" I asked, whispering. I caught her face as she tried to duck away again. I wouldn't let her run away while she told me. I needed her to look at me. I needed her to see me, to know I was there. I needed her to understand I wasn't going anywhere. She bit on her lip, a tear slipping down her cheek. I caught it with my thumb, before it could slide the rest of the way down.
A/N : Insert "Stray" by The Exies. By demand of the author of this work you are addicted to.
"Jake, I should have stayed- the night I left, I should have listened to you. I was so wrong, so terribly wrong," she said. Another tear slipped down, her voice was shaking. I felt an ache sip through my chest, working its way to my heart. I wiped this tear away also, waiting for her to go on. I was remembering that night. Remembering the pain that had accompanied her leave. I wish she had stayed. I wish I had stopped her.
"I went home, because I had to break it off with him. After all this time, I had always stayed with him. He was always my choice. I couldn't leave him, I wasn't brave enough. I used to never be able to think of my life without him. But I couldn't stay with him anymore, Jake. I knew that, after seeing you, after having to run home because I was afraid he would be angry I was out so late," she stated. She kept trying to pull away, but I wouldn't let her. I ran my free hand up her shoulder, trying to comfort as I watched her.
"And he was. He was so angry, he was so… so furious. He backed me against the door, I felt my shoulder blades crushing against it," she began the story. I stayed quiet through it all, feeling the guilt settling deeper and deeper into my stomach. When she told me he had broken a window, and the proceeded to back her up against the wall, I tensed. I started shaking. I looked into her eyes, trying to keep myself grounded. She paused, to give me time. I was grateful. So grateful.
She continued to tell me how he had kissed her, said he couldn't live without her. I cringed, trying not to think of the dirty leeches lips mashed against her. I listened as she told me she had agreed to stay with him, only so she wouldn't upset him again. She had been afraid, so afraid. I felt the fear coursing through her now. Another tear slipped over her eyelid and she reached her hand up to wipe it away.
Her plan… She had planned to escape the next day, but he had been there. She tried to call, but he was there. She told me about her suspicions. That Alice, the seer, had been helping him the whole time. I gripped my free hand at my side, making a mental note to squash the pixie if I ever saw her again. She had been Bella's best friend, the one I had liked the most out of the batch. She had seemed the most level headed. I regretted ever thinking anything of the sort.
She told me how she had escaped, and I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled her into my chest and closed my eyes, glaring into my eyelids as they began to sting. She mumbled the rest into my chest. How she had dove across the line, and how Quil had been there to save her.
"Damnit, Bella," I whispered.
"I'm so sorry, Jake. I don't want to cause all this trouble,. I'm so sorry for everything," she said. I wanted to drive my hands into her hair and pull on it. I wanted to slam my head against a wall. I couldn't listen to her apologize.
"Bella, stop. Don't ever apologize for existing, for having a heart," I said, pulling away and framing her face with my hands. "Don't you ever think for one second that anyone in this pack wouldn't throw themselves on the line for you. You are worth everything to me," I said, watching the tears slide down. I wouldn't stop them anymore. She deserved to let go.
"That's not what I want! I don't WANT the wolves to have to sacrifice themselves for me-"
"Don't even think about handing yourself back over to them. Don't you consider it, ever," I said, hoping I was conveying how much I needed her to be here, with me. To be alive. I felt like she had my heart in her hand, squeezing it. I needed her to say she was going to stay with me. I needed to hear those words more than anything else.
A/N: Insert "Stop and Say You Love Me" by Evan's Blue. Please? Haha.
"Bella…" I swallowed as she looked at me, with large, doe like eyes. I begged for the courage to tell her. I needed to tell her about everything. She had told me everything. I needed this. More than air. It was a two part question. I started with the slightly easier one.
"Will you stay here? With me? And not only just to stay away from the Cullen's," I asked, letting my hands fall to search for hers. I had to feel her hands. I didn't know if I had enough strength to suffer through this.
Please, say you'll stay… Stay with me forever, Bella. I don't think I can make it without you.
An expression I hadn't expected came over her face. It was a mixture of guilt, and fear. But then she bit on her lip, her expressions softening. I wish I could have asked her all that had gone through her mind.
"Of course I'll stay with you," she said, barely audible. I moved forward and nudged her nose gently. I wish she had said it with more commitment. I didn't know how to feel now.
"Why doesn't it sound like you want to?" I asked, my eyes shut.
"It's not that I don't want to. I want to stay with you, Jake. Trust me, I don't want to go back to the Cullen's… I want nothing to do with Edward any more… But what he said… That I was a burden-"
"You are not! Don't let him get to you, Bells. That's what he was trying to do by saying that! He inserted this little nuclear bomb into her brain, and if it ever blows up, I won't be able to handle it!" I said. I was off the bed, pacing. I was shaking. I needed to calm down. I focused on breathing. Bella stayed quiet. I silently thanked the heavens. She knew how to handle this. She knew how to handle me. After a few minutes, I could speak again. I stopped and looked at her.
"Bella, I won't let you go because you feel bad about coming here, and because you think you're a burden on us. If you love the leech, you can go, but I'm not letting you go any other way," I said, dropping to my knees in front of her. She looked down at me. She reached her hand out to my shoulder and ran her fingertips around my neck a little. She made me shiver. I looked up at her, begging.
"I won't go. I hate Edward. I won't leave you," she said, her hand coming up to my cheek. Relief. That was all I felt. Everything else was gone as it swept over me, stopping my still shuddering body completely. "I won't go," she said, again, making sure I heard her correctly. I leaned up and took her lips with mine. Her hands slid around my neck and pulled me closer, making me move closer to her.
Her lips were as I remembered. Needy, and supple. Her lips curved to mine, making the perfect fit. I opened my mouth, pressing my tongue in so I could explore again. I hadn't had enough time. I would never have enough time.
I got to my feet and pushed her back on the bed, my lips never leaving hers. She backed up, turning so that she was lying on the bed and not across it. I hovered over her for a while, just feasting on her mouth. There was a thousand things I wanted to do to her. I slowly calmed myself. I pressed my forehead to hers as we both took a lesson on how to breathe. I slipped off to her side, my hand immediately beginning to stroke her stomach beneath her shirt. Her breathing didn't even out like mine had started to do.
She was looking up at me. I was leaning up on my elbow, looking down at her. She bit on her lip and leaned over, licking her upper lip.
"What's on your mind?" I asked, looking at her again. My hand was drifting further up her stomach. I had surpassed her belly button a long time ago.
"I was wondering…. Why you didn't come, to check on me? When I left… Were you mad at me?" she asked. The look on her face made my heart want to break. As if I ever could have been mad at her… I brought my hand that was on her stomach up to her cheek, stroking it now.
"No, Bells… I can't get angry at you," I said, pressing another kiss on her lips. I pulled away after another minute or so.
"Then why didn't you come?" she asked, a puzzled look across her face.
Herein lay the other part of the conversation I didn't want to have. I was being a coward, I knew it. But I was just so frightened. I had just gotten Bella into my arms. How could I risk her running in the other direction by telling her I had imprinted on her? No, I couldn't. If she left me now, it would be the last five days all over again. I couldn't do that to myself. I couldn't do that to my dad, or Emily. The whole pack. I settled with an old piece of information I had never told her.
"Victoria's come back. She attacked a hiker in the woods one day. We've had pretty heavy patrolling since then. Plus, I wanted to give you space… I didn't want to push you," I said, looking her in the eyes as best I could. I was trying to make this a convincing lie. I wasn't ready to tell her I had imprinted on her. I needed a few days of just being normal around her. And for God's sake, I needed to not want to jump her so badly. Her hand was on my chest, igniting a fire into my system.
"Victoria's here?" she asked, looking up at me. I nodded a little. I watched the guilt run over her eyes. "And you've been patrolling so much to protect me…"
"To protect everyone in Forks and La Push," I corrected her. The only way to get her to stop feeling so horrible about herself was to include other people in our issues.
"Forks, too?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at me. I smiled a little, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
"You think that treaty has a chance with what Cullen pulled? It's over, Bells. I'm going to talk to Sam later on tonight," I said, brushing my fingers across her temple.
"But the Cullen's-"
"Don't worry about anything. We're not going to start anything with them, not yet. We need to regroup, talk about plans. I won't endanger anyone in this pack if Edward is out of here already," I said, making sure this was all ok with her. She seemed to be thinking deeply.
"We won't attack any of the Cullen's until we talk to them. Since it was only Edward that broke the treaty, we won't risk starting a war with all of them. We'll give them time to get out of town, and if they refuse, we'll run them out," I said, still watching her intently. Nothing really seemed to shock her. In the back of her head, was this what she had suspected? Finally, her eyes found mine again and she gave a weak nod.
"I understand… I don't want anyone to get hurt," she said. My head shook up and down fervently.
"We don't want anyone to get hurt either," I said. I laid on my back and slid my hand under her, pulling her over to the crook of my arm. "In the meantime, we'll patrol La Push and Forks. We'll keep a close eye on Charlie, and on the Cullens. If anything seems out of place, we'll shift and bring Charlie here for safety," I said, trying to ease any anxiety she might have over Charlie. I knew what it was like to worry for a parent. Especially a parent unexpectedly warring with a vampire.
Her hand was doing wonderful things, going up my chest, then down. Her nails would bite down ever so lightly once in a while, and I wanted to arch my back up off the bed. I wanted to touch her, everywhere. I wanted her clothes off, and I wanted to be in between her legs. To see her, to feel her-
"Jacob?" Billy called at my door, knocking at the same time. I bit back all my dirty thoughts, my overactive libido, and took in a deep breath.
"Yeah, dad?"
"Come on out, son. I need to talk to you," he said, already rolling away from my door. I tried not to growl out in aggravation, but Bella heard it in my throat. She kissed my neck and I wanted to yell that she wasn't making matters any better. She pulled away and smiled at me.
"Go talk to your dad, pup," she said, and my mouth dropped. I reached to tickle her but she almost fell out of the bed. I had to grab her laughing form to keep her from hitting the ground.
"You're such an ass," I said, wrapping my arms around her and locking her into my grip. I went to her ear and began to nibble, breathing onto her. I felt her melt into me, her body starting to thrust against me once. I pulled away then and rolled over her, straddling her.
"I'll be right back," I said, leaning down to kiss her. She groaned as she leaned up to kiss me back. Good, so she was frustrated also. I rolled off the bed and went to the door. I turned around as I shut it and saw her turned over on her side, watching me. I smiled a little and caught her smiling back before the door clicked shut.
A/N : Motivate me. I have the whole weekend to write.