AN: Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading and Arfalcon & FanpireMama for beta-ing. I also need to thank everyone who reads. So, SM owns the characters - I circumcised them and gave them Jewish names. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window or however you Mac people close windows.

Chapter 10: Shtuping Schmaltzy Turkeys

BPOV

A few days after Halloween, I was sitting on the steps of Gould Plaza eating a dirty water hot dog when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Oh good, you're not in class. Listen, you and your parents are coming to us for Thanksgiving. I've booked you and Edward tickets for Tuesday before."

What?

"Who is this?"

"Oh, dear, it's Esme. I thought you knew my voice by now. So, like I said, your parents are coming back to Washington and you are joining us for Thanksgiving this year. I thought it would be nice for the families to get together. We have plenty of room, though you and Edward need to be in separate rooms."

Wait, she bought me lingerie to wear for her son, but she doesn't want us sleeping in the same bed? Okay, Esme.

"Uh, sure, that sounds great. Does Edward know?"

"Oh, of course, he calls me every day from work."

Huh. I have to beg for a text message and she gets a daily phone call? Fuck that shit. "Okay, cool," I growl out. It's not that I was angry per se, but I was hurt. As the day wore on, it only grew.

Rose was sitting on our small couch when I finally made it home from class that night. She was digging into a pint of ice cream. I threw my bag on the floor, grabbed a spoon from the kitchen, and plopped down next to her.

"Tough day?" I asked.

"You have no idea. Emmett is a total asshole. You?" Rosalie replied, passing me the pint.

I dug my spoon in and took too much. "Edward… his mother… his job, and I fall somewhere down on that list of priorities."

"Well, at least he's supportive of your job. Emmett wants me to quit Ferrari and work at the god-damn Volvo dealer. Volvo? Really? No soccer mom is going to buy a Volvo from me."

"Edward drove a Volvo. I wonder if his parents still have it. Wait, Emmett wants you to quit your job? Why?"

"Oh, he doesn't think it's appropriate for me to use my sexuality to sell cars to balding middle-aged men who just received six-figured bonuses for robbing Main Street America and ignoring their families all year. I'm good at it. I represent what their wives spend all their time with their Pilates and yoga instructors trying to replicate. I bust my ass for every red-cent of commission I earn. Now he's asking me to choose?"

"That is so shitty, Rose. Emmett is acting like such a pig-head. I would say it's Edward's influence, but since he is barely around, I have to doubt that. We need wine."

"Bella, we're eating ice cream. Wine?"

"A Riesling would work." I walked over to our small wine rack and pulled out a bottle and some glasses. "See, it says here it's a dessert wine."

"If you say so, Jan!" Rosalie replied, getting my reference.

I sat back down and handed her a glass. "So, is that what's chapping your ass – Edward being MIA?"

"Yeah, that and Esme called me today about Thanksgiving. She said she talks to Edward every day. I'm lucky to get a text. On an intellectual level, I get it. I know we haven't been back together for that long, but it isn't like we're in a new relationship either. It's like relationship purgatory or something."

"Isn't purgatory the space between Earth and hell?" Rosalie asked, putting her glass down and stealing back the pint.

"I think so. I dunno, we don't believe in hell. I know he's the one, but the fact that we've been apart for three years holds us back. It holds me back, at least."

"Bella, you have been miserable for so long. Suck it up. You hear me? Suck it the fuck up," Rosalie replied between spoonfuls.

"We're being utterly honest with one another?" I asked, taking back the ice cream. She nodded. "Okay, compromise with Emmett. Tell him you will continue to work at Ferrari, he will suck it up," I re-used her words, "and then, once you two decide to pop out some puppies, you leave." I shrugged. It seemed like such a rational decision. When I think of the guys Rosalie normally sells cars to, I can't imagine them wanting to work with her and a huge belly.

She sighed. "We'll see. That does sound good in theory."

Edward and I barely saw one another in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. Well, except for the day he received his bar exam results. He passed; shocking. Edward Cullenman failing at something? Now that is something that doesn't happen.

Instead of a romantic dinner for two, I joined him and a few other associates at a bar near their office. I finally met Leah, Edward's officemate, in person. I could tell she was a little enamored with Edward. Not that she had been the first girl, or woman to feel that way. I did what I had always done in college: I befriended her. Better to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Not that I had to worry; she wasn't Edward's type at all, but I had a good idea of whose type she might be.

The only other plus from the evening was that I got to meet a few other law widows and I realized it could be a lot worse. One associate's wife was seven months pregnant and exhausted. The poor thing was sitting down, sipping mock-tails while the rest of us got drunk. She said she barely saw her husband. It made me glad that Edward and I could both put time in now to focus on our careers and education before we jumped into parenthood.

I was more than ready for a few days away for Thanksgiving and I hadn't been back to Forks since my parents had moved to Arizona. Prior to leaving, the most in depth conversation Edward and I had was coordinating our arrangements to the airport. He was paying for car service, but besides that one night out, a few dinners of takeout eaten in front of the TV, collapsing beside one another and a little cuddling, it wasn't much quality time. I never did broach the subject of him putting his mother before me. Sometimes issues like that are best left untouched. It bothered me, but our time together was too precious to spend nitpicking on stuff like that. He was, and would probably always be a mama's boy. So instead, we spoke about the weather, the mundane routine that had become our lives, and politics. Yes, I even listened to Edward discuss the pros and cons of each Republican presidential candidate.

Needless to say after a couple of weeks of nothing, I was beyond horny, but I refused to do the whole mile-high thing. I found it to be a little trite. It didn't stop me, however, from wearing a skirt on the plane home.

As we sat next to one another on the long evening flight out to Seattle, I smiled and grabbed a few extra blankets. Edward gave me a look, to which I responded by licking my upper lip.

EPOV

As Bella's tongue glided across her upper lip, my dick fucking twitched. It literally sprang back to life from the work-induced coma I had put him in. Poor Zayin. We had barely touched for weeks, partially because I had been working like crazy and also because she had exams and papers due before the break. I think the fact that I was too tired to even jack off in the shower should have said something.

"Do you have a lot of reading to get done for next week?" I asked Bella as she pushed her messenger bag further under the seat in front of her to give her more leg room.

"Not too much. Did you bring home any work?"

"Just a few articles I needed to read."

"So, when do you get admitted now that you've passed?"

"First week of December. I have to finish up some interviews and everything. Bells, I'm sorry."

"Edward, why are you apologizing? I should be apologizing. I've been so needy, but it wasn't me, it was my hormones. I'm such an asshole."

"You're an asshole, but you're my asshole and I'm a douche bag. Seriously, as much as I thought work would suck, I had no idea it would be this bad." I replied, reaching out and taking her hand in mine on the armrest.

"You're a douche bag, fine, but you're my douche bag," she stated, mimicking my words.

We both closed our eyes and leaned back for take-off, but once we had reached cruising altitude and had received our beverage service, Bella started to unpack the blankets from the plastic. She spread them over our legs as the cabin lights dimmed to allow people to sleep. All we really needed was some Barry White and we could totally get it on.

I slowly moved my hand under the blankets and found Bella's legs. I inched my fingers up her thigh, over the fabric of her skirt, until I found the hem. My fingers eagerly sought refuge in her lacy panties. They ducked under the edge and she leaned back further, closing her eyes and spreading her thighs. Slowly, I moved one finger to her tiny nub, clicking her mouse as she moved up and down on her faux leather seat. Moving farther inside of her with my fingers, my thumb took over bringing her pleasure.

She loved it, mouthing the word 'oh' as her body moved with my pumping fingers. Zayin started to do cartwheels in my pants as he knew Bella was a giving woman and liked to reciprocate. Although Bella had sworn off hand jobs, the thought of doing something so sexual in such a public place was a definite turn on. Besides, with her parents there and us in separate rooms, I wasn't sure when I would have a chance to touch her this weekend.

There was a lot on my mind this weekend, and while the Swansteins' presence added some stress, it would also give me an opportunity to really speak with Bella's father. I wanted to ask his permission again for his daughter's hand in marriage. Not that we were ready, but I wanted to get it over with so that when we were I could just go for it. I planned to tell him that too.

Emmett and Rose actually factored into my plans quite a bit. I finally had lunch with Emmett a week ago. Although he and Rose had been fighting, they seemed to have come to an agreement. Imagine, compromising?

My thoughts were interrupted by the unzipping of my jeans. Oh! Bella's hand slipped in and took hold of a flaccid Zayin. I looked over at her and she smiled before reaching down and pulling out a packet of tissues from the pocket in the seat in front her. She placed it on her tray table and then leaned back and began to stroke Zayin, waking him from his slumber.

"You remembered tissues?" I asked. Hello, Captain Obvious.

"It's like the Boy Scouts say, be prepared."

I loved this woman so much. "You're like some sex Boy Scout." Wait, that sounded so inherently wrong. "I mean, you're like a sex scout," I replied as I leaned back and enjoyed the ride. Well, both of them. Hmm... Bella in a sexy Girl Scout uniform. I'd totally eat her cookies. She could earn badges for sex acts. Wait, badges? Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!

Between Bella's hand and the vibrations from the powerful jet engines, not to mention how neglected Zayin had been, I came hard and fast. Luckily, my little sex scout knew I was close and was able to catch it all in her hand. She dropped the evidence into her empty beverage glass and handed it to the flight attendant as she came to collect the garbage. We both ended up sleeping for the rest of the flight, curled up together, with the armrest lifted between us.

It was extremely early in the morning, New York time, when we finally arrived in Forks after switching planes in Seattle. The hour didn't stop my mother from being her most gracious hostess self. She led Bella and me to my room.

"Wait, I thought we were going to be in separate rooms," I asked as I put our suitcases down. Bella wasn't allowed to carry her bags, because my mom was worried about her marking the wallpaper.

"You were, but Bella's parents are in the guestroom down the hall and Pops is in the adjoining room, so no funny business," she replied.

"I didn't know Pops was going to be here. I haven't seen him forever."

"Yes, he decided at the last minute he didn't want to spend the holiday with his girlfriend's family, so he came here. Bella, have you met Irv?"

Bella, although sleepy, smiled. "Oh, yeah. We met the year Edward and I went to Boca for spring break."

That was a great spring break. We'd hung out by the pool and all the old men kept flirting with Bella, and my sweet girl flirted right back. My grandfather Irv, whom I called Pops, had become a bit of a player down in Palm Beach County since my grandmother died. He never remarried, but he was never single; there was always a special lady friend around him. The great thing about Irv was he wore a hearing aid and took it out to sleep. We would be fine, or at least as fine as sleeping in a house with both of our parents would allow us to be.

Bella and I'd had sex in my dorm room with my roommate there; we could be quiet-ish. Though Bella she was a bit of moaner.

Over the course of the holiday my parent's house, which was usually my own personal fortress of solitude, had become a bustling center of activity. I was used to quiet dinners, but suddenly there were four more guests to contend with. Thanksgiving dinner was wonderful and Bella and my mom tangoed around one another in the kitchen all day preparing an incredible feast. My mom even made her brisket. It didn't compare to Bella's, not that I could say this to my mom, but I did tell Bella later that night.

"So, I just wanted to thank everyone for making the long trip to Forks to spend Thanksgiving with us," said my dad, holding up his wine glass as we sat down for dinner.

"To our future machatunim," Mom added, looking at the Swansteins.

"Mom!" I glanced at her trying to urge her to stop.

"Oh, Esme, you really outdid yourself. Everything looks terrific. Look at that turkey, amazing," Renee stated, practically salivating on the table.

"You don't think it's too schmaltzy?" Mom replied.

"Oh, no. Now could you pass me the stuffing?"

Dinner continued with dispersed conversations around the table. I overheard Pops talking to Bella. "Bella, how's my Edward at keeping you satisfied? He better not be a selfish lover, I taught him better than that. Does he put on some mood music, maybe a little Sinatra or something to get you in the mood?"

Bella, who was across the table from me, mouthed, "Help me."

It didn't stop. "You know, even at his bris, we thought Edward would be quite endowed and you are such a small girl. Edward, when you shtup her are you careful? You poor dear, he could probably rip you in two," Pops said, looking back and forth between Bella and me.

Where was the Bella who put my mom in her place? Of course, the word "shtup" had pretty much silenced all conversations. Everyone was looking at the three of us, although Bella was looking down and I wasn't sure if she realized this.

"Irv, you must have taught your grandson well. He is amazing in the sack." As the words come out of her mouth, she realized she has spoken them to the whole table.

I avoided even trying to look at Mr. Swanstein. I've tried to chat with him a few times, but he isn't exactly welcoming me with warm open arms.

Pops slapped his hand down on the table, causing the crystal and china to rattle a bit. "Well, hot damn, I knew it was genetic! You hear that Carlisle? You should have those doctors find the gene for that!"

We all broke out laughing and the conversations dispersed again. Though I think Bella wanted to crawl under the table.

"Bella, has Alice picked her colors yet for the wedding?" my mom asked as we sat picking at the dessert.

"Gentleman, I think that is our cue to retire to the den to watch more football and leave these hens," my dad said, getting up. Pops and Charlie followed close behind.

"I'm still finishing up my pie," I said, looking down at my plate. I was beyond stuffed, but if my mom was bringing up weddings, I thought Bella might need backup.

Bella looked across at me and mouthed a thank you. "Yes, unfortunately. She picked hot pink - the dresses are one shoulder and cost a fortune, but it's Alice, so very Alice," she said with a sigh. She and Rosalie had been stressed out trying to keep Alice appeased.

"Her mother was telling me they booked the Ritz in Seattle. Renee, do you think you and Charlie will fly in for it?" Esme asked, turning toward Bella's mom.

"I think so, perhaps by then we'll have some planning of our own. She's getting married Memorial Day or Labor Day. Our religion makes it so difficult to have a Saturday evening affair, especially in the summer, but then who wants to deal with winter weather issues?"

"Ugh, I know. Well, between the Brandonbergs, Hales, and us, that would cover all of the holiday weekends. We could all do the weddings on Sunday night and not have to worry about sundown on Shabbat."

I almost choked on the pumpkin. Was that what really happened during the synagogue's sisterhood meetings? They plotted the weddings of their children?

"Oh, I don't think Emmett and Rosalie are close to marriage," Bella stated, looking at me and seeing through my lack of response.

I knew Emmett had been thinking about proposing soon. He and I wanted to plan it so that the girls' lease would be up, then he and Rosalie could get married quickly and Bella would move in with me.

"Edward…. What do you know? Oh my gawd, he's going to propose?" I didn't respond. I couldn't break guy code. "Hopefully they will have a long engagement," she added.

"Bells, don't worry, it will all work out."

Our mothers had been watching our little exchange and remained silent, but if looks could kill, I'd be dead.

"Esme, do you mind if I start to clear the table?" Bella asked. My mom nodded. I asked to be excused as well and joined the men in the den.

My father and Pops were snoring, but Mr. Swanstein was still engaged in watching the game. "Who's winning?" I asked, sitting down next to him.

"The Redskins, thank goodness. I can't stand the Cowboys, I root for whoever is playing them," he replied, not looking up from the screen.

"Me either." We sat in an awkward silence until the commercial break. "Mr. Swan, umm, can I ask you something?"

"Edward, you are sharing a bed with my daughter in your parents' home and apparently you are shtuping her much to your grandfather's satisfaction. Please call me Charlie." I used to call him Charlie, but since the breakup and reconciliation, I thought it was best not to assume anything, especially with Charlie's newfound interest in firearms.

"Charlie," I tried out the name, "I wanted to ask you for your blessing to marry your daughter," I stammered. I thought I was going to puke pumpkin pie all over him.

"Son, didn't you already ask me for my blessing a few years ago?" I nodded. "Well, you never lost my blessing; you still have it. There is no one else out there in this world who can handle my daughter the way you can. Now, I love my daughter, but she's headstrong. She gets that from me and you challenge her. Just don't rush her again and keep the shtuping behind closed doors."

"Thank you, sir."

"Now, shut up, the game's back on and it's close." He turned his eyes back to the TV. "Good thing you asked when the Skins were up."

I leaned back and let out a giant sigh of relief as I watched the game.

BPOV

Esme Cullenman must be on meds or she's putting on quite a show since her father-in-law is here and so are my parents. Sure, my mom has witnessed Esme's own unique brand of crazy, and could probably complement it with her own, but my dad's a pretty reserved guy. Hence, Esme has been playing the role of hostess that would make June Cleaver proud - or was that Donna Reed? Hmmm, I hadn't watched Nick at Nite in a while.

Both my mom and Edward's mom seemed to be so hungry for every little detail of Alice's wedding. I hoped they weren't trying to benchmark it so that they could plan something bigger or better. Alice's wedding was going to be on some grand scale that was just Alice. I knew I didn't want that, but I wasn't dumb either. The Cullenmans were well-respected members of the community and had a lot of friends and even more social obligations. A small wedding on the beach was not likely to happen.

Yeah, I had been thinking more and more about forever with Edward, despite our crazy lives. Seeing our families together for such a major holiday was helping to solidify those feelings. Our moms already referred to one another as machatunim. Since we were both only children, it was nice to know our parents could come together so that we didn't have to split our time for the holidays between them. If only my parents hadn't moved to Arizona.

Being back in Forks made me realize I didn't want to be a New Yorker forever. I could already see that Manhattan living had a shelf life and for me, it was going to expire sooner rather than later. It was comforting to know that Edward's trusty Volvo was parked in the driveway awaiting his return. I just hoped Edward would feel the same way when that time came.

AN: You know that part in Peter Pan, where Peter asks if you believe in fairies and you have to clap your hands? I could use some clapping. RL is kicking my butt and I want to write this, but only if I know people want to read it. Do you want me to continue? Let me know. Yes, that was a Jewish guilt trip, but seriously – let me know if you think I totally suck or if you want me to continue.

Schmaltzy: Excessive

Machatunim: (mach-ah-toon-im) In-laws; the Yiddish term for the parents of your son or daughter-in- law

Shtup: To have sex with or to give. If a Jewish mother tells her son-in-law she will shtup him with food, it means she is going to give him a bunch of leftovers - she's not going all Mrs. Robinson on him with a sandwich.

Bris: A Jewish religious circumcision ceremony performed on 8-day old male infants by a mohel