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not beta'd

storyline - Sultry

prompt - relief

I've noticed that Edward keeps his eyes on my face, always.

Part of me wishes he wasn't such a gentleman. There's this insecurity inside of me that I didn't realize existed until Masen did what he did. I guess all it took was a cheater to make me question myself worth…which is stupid, I know. My friends are adamant that the problem was his, not mine, and I believe them.

But still.

The rest of me finds a deep sense of relief that he isn't flirting with me. I feel like I can trust him, like the words that come out of his mouth are true and unhindered by lust. People will do and say anything when they're horny or "looking for love". I would know.

"Do you… want to stay here or go someplace quiet?" he asks.

"Either way," I say, trying desperately to figure out which would be better. I would prefer someplace quiet, for sure, but I don't know that leaving sends the right signal to him, or to my friends. Or to myself, really.

"There's a diner a couple of blocks away… they've got great pie."

Ouch. Masen loved pie, too. Maybe their mother baked it a lot while they were growing up.

But I nod. "That sounds good. Let me get my purse and tell my friend I'm leaving."

Rose is less surprised than disturbed when I tell her I'm going to hang out with Edward at a diner.

"I know you said they were identical, but…this is just too much, Bella. Are you sure?"

"They're not the same person. And I have a couple of questions. I need this."

She hands me my bag, which was sitting beside hers. "How're you getting back to the Bay?"

"I'll call a cab."

Rose doesn't look too thrilled, but we're adults and she knows I'm not the foolish type. "Promise me you'll call if…" she trails off, shrugging.

"I will."

I say good night to the rest of the group, bending to give Tyler a quick hug. "I'm so glad I met you."

He smiles softly. "Me too. Maybe we can grab lunch or coffee or something one of these days."

I'm not quite attracted to him, but I really like him and I think he feels the same. "That would be great."

We exchange numbers on our phones and then I straighten up, scanning the terrace for Edward. He's near the exit, one hand in his pocket, looking very Ivy League.

Willing the anxiety away, I join him and we leave in silence.

"Did the note… say anything?" Edward asks. He looks uncomfortable.

"Didn't you read it?" I ask, smirking.

His eyes meet mine and the depression in his pushes the mirth out of mine. "I opened it to see who it was for, and then I put it aside. I respected his privacy." He looks down to his coffee cup. "And yours."

Chastened, I sit back. "No, it didn't say anything of consequence. It was just like all of the others… like everything was the same."

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

He shrugs. "Because you deserved better."

"You don't even know me."

"Don't have to. Some things are true on principle."

"Where were his principles?" The words are out before I can reel them back in. I regret speaking them, because I don't want to put a grieving man in the middle, but I don't feel bad for thinking them.

The waitress comes by with our pie: key lime for him and chocolate silk for me.

"Would you like to try it?" he asks, fork hovering.

"No, thanks." I wrinkle my nose. "I hate key lime, actually."

"You haven't had good key lime, then."

I take a bite of my own slice. "Can't go wrong with chocolate."

He plops a little piece of his pie on to my plate. Smiling, I shake my head and eat it.

It's good. Really good – like the richest cheesecake infused with lime.

"Oh…oh, wow."

He winks at me. Told ya so.

I take another bite of mine, and then sit back. "Did you know? That he had two girlfriends?"

Edward frowns. "Yeah."

This hurts, and even though he has absolutely no allegiance to me, I feel betrayed. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"What makes you so certain I didn't?" He shakes his head. "He'd always been that way, even in high school."

"So I was one in a long line of fools." My stomach twists. I put my fork down. "How are the two of you so different?"

"Do you have brothers and sisters?"

"No."

"Cousins?"

"A few."

"Are you just like them?"

I chuckle quietly, looking out the window. "No."

"Sharing blood doesn't mean you share a brain and a personality. It just so happens we looked alike. There were a lot of things we disagreed on, Bella. But make no mistake, he was my best friend. Every day I wake up is a day he isn't here. And it hurts. No matter what happened between the two of you, he's my brother, whether he was an asshole or note."

A little dam breaks inside of me, and I reach for a napkin. "I'm sorry."

He lets me cry in peace, offering his napkins once I've soaked mine.

"There are things I want to know, but I don't want to…disrespect you, or his memory, you know?"

"You can ask me anything. I'll be real with you if you'll be real with me."

"I wish he'd been real with me," I say.

"Me too."

"Does the other girl know about this?"

"Tanya? Yeah, she found a stack of pictures and notes. That's how I recognized you the day of the funeral."

I stare at him, shocked. "He kept all that stuff?"

He nods.

"But…"

"They'd already gotten engaged, too, when she found out. It just about broke her."

I don't know what to think. "I wonder if the last note to me was written before or after she found out."

"Probably before. They had a huge fight and he left to go back to his place."

"How do you know all of this?"

"Tanya called me the day after the crash." Edward looks at me, his eyes wet. "After the fight, I guess they didn't talk for a couple of days…and then he died."

thank you for the gift of your reviews. i look forward to seeing what you have to say, and i love the comments, observations, wonderings and speculation.

i've been married for awhile now, but before that there was one guy that i loved who cheated on me...so i know how bad it hurts. i feel bad for bella, too.