AN: Totally blown away by the reviews – thank you. Yes, I'll continue. I can't update every week, but I will post as soon as I can.
Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading and Arfalcon & FanpireMama for beta-ing. I also need to thank everyone who reads. So, SM owns the characters - I circumcised them and gave them Jewish names. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window or however you Mac people close windows.
Chapter 11: Babela, Babela, Oy
BPOV
"Zero interest rate policy doesn't work. Period," Jake argued with another student in our Macroeconomics class. I loathed Microeconomics, but Macro wasn't as bad.
Period… Wait, when was my last period? I quickly opened up my calendar on my phone. I tried to write down the date on the calendar when my period started, because doctors always ask that when you go and I was sick of not knowing and looking stupid.
I started scrolling through the months. December – yup, there it was. Right during Hanukkah, this had put a damper on our plans. I hadn't written anything in January. Huh? Well, I had been on break, but not really, because I had spent part of the time at my parents and then the rest holed up in Edward's apartment. Part of my Hanukkah gift had been my own key and I seemed to spending almost my entire time there.
I wasn't…? No. We used condoms. Except New Years, but I had been drunk and so had Edward. Shit. I should be paying attention to class, but screw it I could be pregnant. Okay, stay calm. After class is dismissed tonight, just run to the Walgreens by the subway and grab a pregnancy test. A late period doesn't mean I am pregnant, right? Are my boobs sore?
I pressed my chest against the desk like I was leaning against it too hard. Shit! They do hurt. I tried to remember everything else I had been told about pregnancy in high school health class, but I couldn't recall. Sore boobs, nausea - I had felt queasy a few days ago. I tried not to think about it.
Except, I couldn't focus on Japanese monetary policy. Instead I watched the minute hand on the clock slowly inch closer and closer to my fate being sealed. Instead of typing up notes, I opened up my browser and turned to Dr. Google with all my symptoms. I read about testing and false positives and false negatives. I could test negative and still be pregnant? That had to be rare.
What if I was pregnant, then what? What would Edward say? Edward loves kids; he is going to be thrilled. Sure, not ideal. We'd have to get married, our parents would freak out if we didn't. I would move in with him or we'd have to look for a two bedroom. Could we live off of Edward's salary? What about school? I guess I would be due in the fall. I could switch to the part-time program and finish up my last year in the spring.
By the time the professor dismissed us, I was starting to want this baby.
"What are you smiling about?" Jake asked as we were packing up our bags.
"Nothing. Was I smiling? I wasn't smiling about anything," I replied, shaking my head in disbelief. Was I excited? For so long I had done everything to prevent pregnancy, including not having sex. The idea of something that was both part Edward and part me melted my heart.
"You coming to beer blast?" Jake asked.
"No!" I exclaimed. "I want to get home; I've got lots to do." I could be pregnant; I couldn't drink or eat sushi, right? Oh my goodness, I had like three Diet Mountain Dews yesterday!
"You ever going to introduce me to that chick you were talking about?" Jake added. He was like an excited little puppy.
"Jake, not now; I need space," I replied, putting my hands up defensively.
I walked into Walgreens and had to search all over the place until I found the aisle with the pregnancy tests. There were so many of them. I picked out a digital one because it seemed like it would be more accurate. The thing cost a bloody fortune too, but I guess that's just to prepare you for the fact that babies cost a lot.
Instead of walking around with the test in the plastic bag as I rode the subway home, I put it in my bag. I sat on the subway debating where to test – my place or Edward's. I didn't want Rosalie seeing the test in the trash, so Edward's seemed more logical. My internal debate was interrupted by a very pregnant woman getting on the train at Grand Central Station. As she stepped on, the passengers sitting eyed one another, which never happens in New York City, where eye contact is incredibly taboo. After a brief pause, several people offered up their seat to the woman, who graciously took it from a kid who looked more like a gang-banger than a Good Samaritan.
I briskly walked the short blocks between Edward's place and the subway station. We'd have to get on a waiting list for a preschool. If there was anything I had learned while teaching for New York Public Schools, it was that there were some great schools and there were some not so great schools. I had learned about how über-competitive everything related to kids could be in Manhattan.
Would we move? I didn't want to raise kids in New York City; that shit was expensive enough on your own. Would Edward want to move? I guess the baby and I could always go live with my parents in Arizona. This was like when I took the GMATs; it was a test that was going to change my life, or at least it could be. I used my still new and shiny key to open the door.
Once in the bathroom, I sat on the edge of the tub and read through the instructions. Do I pee on the stick or do I pee in a cup and dip the stick in the cup? The cup seemed a little easier. I ran to the kitchen looking for a disposable cup to use. I wasn't going to pee into a water glass. I finally found a bag of those red plastic cups we had always used in college to drink beer out of – that'd do.
I took it back and well, I peed in it. I grabbed the stick out of the box, and dipped it in. Then the waiting started. I finished peeing and sat on the toilet seat with the lid closed. I set the timer on my phone. Edward was going to freak out if it was positive. We were going to start keeping condoms with us everywhere, like in my purse, and drawers in every room of both of our apartments. Maybe we should just go back to not having sex?
"Bella?" Edward called out, followed by a slamming of the front door.
I wanted to yell to him that I was in the bathroom, but my throat closed up in a panic. What was he doing home so early? He's never home before ten.
"Bella?" He opened the door to the bathroom.
"Edward! I could have been taking a shit or something! Don't you knock? I think there should be some veil of privacy left in our relationship."
"We settled the case, so I came home to you. What are you doing in here?" His eyes traveled from me to the box and plastic cup sitting next to the sink. He then looked at the stick that was still working to decide our fate.
"Umm…" I bit my lip. "I'm late." Yup, there it was - short, sweet, and to the point.
"Late?" His eyes widened. "How late? Do you think you're…?"
"I could be. I'll know in a few moments."
He crouched down next to me and held my hand as we waited. Both of us kept glancing at the stick and the phone. When the timer finally went off, I held up the stick. It was clear.
NOT PREGNANT
I don't know why, but I started to cry. Maybe I had been sure it was going to say something else.
"Bells, it's okay; it's not positive."
I shooed Edward away as I messily sobbed.
"Did you want it to be positive?" he asked, lifting me off the commode and carrying me to his bed.
As he cradled me in his arms, wiping the tears from my eyes, I let it out. I didn't want to hide anything from him. Not anymore.
"I've never failed a test before," I sobbed. "I had it all planned out if it had said… It wouldn't have been so bad – a little person half you, half me."
"Shhh…. Baby, it's okay. It's going to be okay. This isn't a test that you can fail – it is what it is – either way," he soothed, stroking my hair.
"But, I wanted it. I want it, Edward – all of it."
"You'll have it, baby, eventually."
"You want kids? We've never really talked about it at length."
"Yeah, of course I do."
My nose was running and I wiped the snot on my sleeve. "How many do you want?"
"I dunno, four?"
"Four!" I looked down at my crotch. He wanted four kids to come out of there? "Edward, no one wants to pray in a cathedral. I mean, sure I want kids, but the whole giving birth thing freaks me out. Can't we start with one, maybe two? Besides, you know how much preschool and private school costs here? $40,000 for preschool! It's like paying for college for a toddler!"
"Calm down, Bells, you aren't pregnant. We don't have to worry about that yet. Do you want to stay here?"
"What do you mean? Like Rosalie and Emmett?" They had talked about moving out to New Jersey, Long Island, or Scarsdale once they got married. It freaked me out a bit that things were going to be changing. Even Jasper and Alice had mentioned moving back down south. Until Thanksgiving, I hadn't thought about it at all.
"No, I always thought that after I got a few years in here that we'd go back to Washington. Having my parents close would be nice. It's hard to raise a family without a support system nearby." Edward ran his fingers through his hair; he always did that when he was unsure of things. "I know my mother is partially insane, but she means well."
"I've been thinking about Washington, too. I liked where we grew up. Sure, it isn't like it is here where everyone is Jewish, but I liked being different. I liked getting out of class on Jewish holidays because classes weren't canceled. They cancel them here, can you believe that?"
Edward was smiling. I loved it when he smiled. "I think I can get reciprocity from Washington for the New York bar, eventually."
My heart felt like it was ready to burst. I was so excited, yet so emotionally drained, but I had to tell him how I was feeling. "I'm ready, Edward. I know it seems like it may be too soon and that we've only been back together for like eight months, but when I think of my future, in every possible scenario, you are in it."
"That is the hottest thing you have ever said to me." He leaned down, his body hovering over mine as he started to kiss me, first my lips and then he moved down to my neck.
As I moved to wrap my legs around his waist, it dawned on me that this was how we got here. We could still have sex though, right? We'd use condoms. Ugh, I wasn't really in the mood.
"Edward, Edward," I mumbled. "We need to stop. I'm not in the mood. This whole pregnancy scare - it's made me lose my lady-wood."
"I could put you in the mood?"
"No, I just want to cuddle tonight." He rolled off of me and lay on the bed facing me, his hand supporting his head.
"So, tell me about your day?" he asked. He wasn't feigning interest; he actually wanted to hear about my day. There were times he would cursorily ask about my day, but as soon as he would even put the question out there, he'd begin talking about his own day; never giving me the chance to really express myself.
I rolled over and lay facing him, our poses mimicking one another. "It was good. Classes are going well. It's much easier this semester because I know what is expected of me. Then today took that strange turn, I still can't believe I broke my peeing on a stick cherry. We have to be more careful, otherwise I'm going to have to go back onto the pill or something." I knew we were trying not to talk about babies and sex, but my mind wasn't really anywhere else tonight.
"I know the hormones make you crazy, we'll just use condoms from now on. I swear I'll be vigilant about it. We can save condom-less sex for our wedding night – if you're ready for it."
"Don't you ever get tired of waiting for me to be ready for things?" I blurted out. I wasn't trying to start a fight or anything, but sometimes I felt like I was always the bad guy in this relationship, the instigator of all of our problems.
"I'd wait an eternity for you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me." Edward looked down. I really wanted to kiss him. He looked so sweet and vulnerable and so I did – light kisses.
"Did you keep the ring? Did you get rid of it? Sell it? I didn't even get a good look at it that day." I thought about the day he proposed, the day everything went awry.
Edward used his head and motioned to his dresser. "Top drawer, still sitting in the box, waiting for you to tell me you're ready."
I grinned stupidly. "Really?"
"Well, you know I have it, but I'm going to make you sweat a little bit until I can plan the perfect proposal. You just gave me the signal, so now I can start planning it."
Hmmm… We had just passed our initial dating anniversary at the end of December, his birthday was in June, and mine was in September. I hoped he wasn't going to wait until then. Ughh, I was beginning to think like Alice. Not to mention, Rose would die if I got engaged before she did.
"If you can, could you make sure Rose and Emmett are engaged before us? It would kill Rose and she's been too good of a friend to me. I couldn't do that to her."
"I have it on good authority that it shouldn't be an issue."
"Hey, I was thinking about setting Jake up with Leah. Maybe the four of us could go out to dinner one night – sushi or something fun like that? What do you think?"
"Yeah, sure. Hey, I'm gonna get ready for bed. Do you want the bathroom first?"
EPOV
I looked over at her sleeping form and stared in wonderment. She must have been emotionally drained, because I knew I couldn't sleep. Pregnant. Wow! The thought of Bella with a rounded belly with my child inside was so unbelievably sexy.
What floored me even more was that she had wanted it, badly. We had talked about kids a long time ago, but back then we were kids ourselves and it was always a very hypothetical conversation. Suddenly it wasn't and she was okay with that.
It was insane that something that wasn't even there, that would have been so tiny, could change Bella so quickly. Maybe it didn't change her, but instead opened her eyes. Sure, our lives weren't perfect right now and I worked hell hours and didn't get to spend nearly enough time with her, but the time I did spend was always with her. She was my life. She was the best part of my life.
I think I'd be a good father; my father was fantastic with me. I wanted boys; no man wants to have to deal with boys dating their little girls. Ugh, I couldn't even imagine what sort of things went through Charlie Swanstein's head over the years about me.
It wasn't that late in Forks, my dad would probably still be up. I slunk out of bed and tiptoed to the other room, careful not to wake Bella.
"Hey Dad," I said after he answered on the second ring. It wasn't unusual for me to be calling this late. The time difference between New York and Forks worked to my advantage in keeping in touch with my parents.
"Edward, to what do I owe this pleasure?"
I debated whether or not to tell him, but since he was a doctor, I figured I would take the medical route.
"Umm… I have a medical question for you. How accurate are pregnancy tests?"
"These days they can be pretty accurate, but a blood test is always needed to confirm. Why? Am I going to be a Poppop?" He couldn't conceal the excitement in is voice. I didn't know how to respond to him. "Son, is Bella pregnant? Does she think she is? Are you two ready for such a big responsibility? Your mother and I will help you, of course. Your mother is going to flip! She is dying to be a grandmother. Do the Swansteins know?"
I ran my hands through my hair nervously. I instantly regretted saying anything. "Uhh, I gotta go, Dad. She isn't pregnant, but don't say anything to Ma."
I ended the call before he had a chance to respond, regretting making the call. I was very close to my parents. They had stood by me through the whole breakup. They were always there for me, even if they didn't agree with me.
I snuck back into our bedroom, because even though Bella's name wasn't on the lease, this was her apartment too. She looked like an angel sleeping, all curled up in the blankets, with one leg wrapped around the comforter. Instead of joining her, I opened up the drawer that held the symbol of our future.
Taking the velvet box in my hand, I held it for awhile, glancing back and forth between my Bella and the ring. I took it out of its sacred resting place and held it in my hand. I thought back to the day we had broken up. How naïve I had been to think that was going to be one of the happiest days of my life, but it had gone astray so quickly. Why didn't I listen back then when she said she wasn't ready? I cursed my 22 year old self. She was ready now, but I didn't want to propose just because she could be pregnant. I didn't want to just do it because she was scared. She said she was ready, but this time I wasn't going to be so capricious in asking her.
"My precious…" I whispered in a raspy voice.
Oy! It was late and I was loopy. I returned the ring to its box and placed it back in the drawer. Soon enough. Soon enough it would be hers. She'd be ready for it this time.
BPOV
"Hey, stranger," Rosalie called out to me as I entered the apartment, drained from the night before and a full day of classes.
"Hey yourself," I replied, placing my laptop bag down by the door. Homework would wait.
"You look exhausted, everything okay?" she asked, looking up from the fashion magazine she was thumbing through.
"Have you ever been late?"
"Bella, I set my clocks ahead by like five minutes. I'm always running late – you know that."
"No, not running late. Late, like late late." I raised an eyebrow, hoping she'd get my drift.
"Oh. No, I'm on the pill. OMG, you're pregnant. Does Edward know?"
"Yes, but no."
"What? You're pregnant?"
"No, I'm not pregnant and yes, Edward knows. I freaked out in class last night and tested at his place. It was negative. I think I'm just late because of stress."
"Yeah, but still, did he totally freak out on you? Did you freak out on him?"
"Shockingly no, instead it really kicked my ass. Suddenly this life I've been planning was in question and I didn't care – I was excited. Nervous, of course, but having a family with Edward, it's just so – I can't even put it to words. Why have I been so scared of just accepting it? Sure, things may suck a bit now, but we both spend all of our free time together."
"Duh… Bella, you two were always meant to be. It's almost painful how obvious it is."
"Oh yeah, and what about you and your oily beau-hunk?"
"Em and I are doing so much better. You know he's up for a promotion?"
I wanted to take my mind off of the last day and listen to Rose, but of course my phone rang. I looked down to see who was calling. Of course she'd call.
"Rose, I've got to take this; it's Esme. Lord knows what she wants." I picked up the phone on the third ring. "Hi, Esme. How're you doing?"
"Bella, do you have anything to tell me?" she asked. Fuck! I was going to kill Edward if he told her.
"Uh no, nothing, I've got nothing to tell."
"That's not what I heard. Are you pregnant? Are you bearing my bastard grandchild? You better go all Beyonce on my son and tell him to put on a ring on it. You can't let that child be born out of wedlock."
"I'm not pregnant." I can't believe I am discussing my periods with my boyfriend's mom. "Seriously, I tested. I'm not pregnant."
"Did you test in the morning or at night? How many times did you test? Well, you have to test in the morning when your urine is fresh. You know, when I became pregnant with Edward I had so many false negatives until I finally tested positive after several weeks. Of course, we were married and had a house. I don't know how people raise children in that city and with no support from relatives. Don't you think it is smarter for people to raise their families near extended family? My generation of bubbes is so different than our parents. We are so much more involved in our grandchildren's lives. At least, that's what the ladies at Hadassah tell me. You two live so far away; my own grandchild will barely know me. I mean, of course I will come and visit, but then what, I'm just a face in a picture…"
She wasn't shutting up. She kept going on and on about the other women from her Hadassah chapter and how they spent so much time with their grandchildren. As much as I wanted to move back to Washington, Esme Cullenman and her incessant hocking was quickly becoming yet another reason not to do so.
"I'll test again tomorrow morning, but I doubt I'm pregnant. Did Edward tell you?" I tried to sound calm and nonchalant, but what Esme said about having to test multiple times stayed in the forefront of my thoughts.
"Oh, of course dear, my son tells me everything. You should definitely test again. I can tell you from experience that Cullenman sperm are super-strong swimmers!"
The weight of Esme's words made my stomach curl. Edward always was an overachiever. Why would his sperm be any different? "Thanks for calling, I gotta go. Bye," I said quickly, throwing my phone on the couch next to Rosalie, and running to the bathroom where I proceeded to encounter my lunch for the second time that day.
AN: Yeah – pseudo cliffie.
Babela – baby. This word, though difficult to find, can be found in a Coffee Talk sketch on Saturday Night Live with Mike Myers, Madonna, & Barbara Streisand.
Bubbe - Yiddish for grandmother
Hadassah - the Women's Zionist Organization of America, it is an American Jewish women's volunteer organization.
If you review, you get teasers and I will shower your inbox with love!