Chapter 29 – My Sun

Bella's POV

I rolled out of Jake's bed the next morning, my eyes fluttering open to take in my surroundings. I already knew he wasn't here; I could feel how empty everything was. I let out a deep breath and stumbled my way to the door, feeling grouchy. I took one step out of the room and a plethora of different smells met my nose. My eyes opened the rest of the way at the thought of food. I was famished.

I made way into the bathroom and glanced around at the sink. There were two toothbrushes, one red and one blue. I suspected the blue one to be Jake's and the red one looked new, so I used it. It was better than using my finger and toothpaste. After brushing my teeth, I splashed water on my face and then flattened my hair a little. It was a complete hay day. I'd have to straighten it once I took my shower. For now, I settled.

I made my way out to the kitchen and was met with Emily's back turned to me, muttering over the stove. I cleared my throat to announce my presence and she turned, greeting my with a beautiful, wide smile.

"Good morning," she sang, shuffling the eggs around on the stove. I gave a little wave and looked around for anyone else as she turned back to face the stove.

"Where's Jake? Billy?" I asked, taking a seat at the kitchen table. After a moment, she turned around, popping her hip to the side, as if she were thinking.

"Billy's still sleeping. Poor old man, hasn't gotten a wink lately. And Jake should be out patrolling now," she said, indicating to the clock. My eyes widened. It was already noon. I leaned back into the chair and let out a breath. Wow, where did the day go?

She was still looking at me and I glanced away. There was no way she could already know about my and Jake's conversation last night-

"We all know, Bella. I told you, no secrets from the pack!" she said, brightly. It was as if she had been waiting for me to wake up enough so she could talk about it. I groaned loudly and brought my head into my hands. I had barely had any time to think about the idea of imprinting last night, and now the whole tribe knew.

Stupid werewolf. I let out a breath and glanced up at her. She was still smiling.

"How'd you find out already?" I asked. She turned off the stove and grabbed two plates, starting to shuffle food onto it.

"Well, Jake came by last night… He and Sam were talking, and then I talked to Sam when he came to bed…" she shrugged, as if it were no big deal. She brought the plates to the table, setting one in front of me. She sat opposite me. "So, what's on your mind?"

I ran my hand through my hair, pulling it back out of the way as I grabbed the fork she had supplied and took a bite. There were eggs, with ham, bell peppers, and dashes of onion and tomato in them. There was toast, butter already spread over it, and an apple. I stabbed at my eggs some more, grumpy that they tasted great compared to how this morning was starting.

"It's just that… From what I've heard, imprinting is so permanent, so life altering…" I started, grabbing the piece of toast now. I took a bite and looked up to see Emily gaping at me. Her mouth was completely dropped open, and I was suddenly self conscious. I dropped my gaze to my food again.

"Aren't you the one and only girl who had been ready to turn into a blood sucking vampire? To spend eternity with one man?" she asked. I dropped my fork out of shock, looking up at her. She shrugged, as if she had no shame. The thought whispered through my head. You were ready to give your life, literally, to spend eternity with Edward. Look how well you screwed that up. I batted the thought away, my eyes fluttering as I turned my head to my food again. I picked up the fork.

"Yes, but-"

"There aren't any buts about it. If you can deal with the thought of eternity with a vampire, you can handle a life time with a werewolf. It's that simple," she said, shoving a forkful of food into her delicate mouth. My shoulders slumped. When she said it that way, it made me feel like an awful person. In my head, this all made sense. I saw myself, loving Jake. Loving him as much as I had been infatuated with Edward.

But what would happen if Jacob became an infatuation also? What if it wasn't really love that I felt? What if, with everything that had happened between us, he was just my best friend, and I had mistaken him for something more? I groaned again, running both my hands through my hair.

"Cheer up. It's inevitable that you two will be together. You're soul mates. That's what imprinting is. It was chosen before you two were even born. It was planned. You're both compatible, fate saw to that," she said, smiling at me. I looked at her. Could there really be such a thing as fate? Such a thing that would make everything that's happened have been planned?

Someone out there was really cruel if it were true. I took another bite of my toast, noticing I didn't have much left on my plate now.

"Em, what are the pros and cons of imprinting?" I asked, picking up the apple now and turning it over in my hand. I glanced past it to see her, setting her fork down as she thought. She smiled, suddenly.

"A pro and con is that they're jealous. Utterly jealous. For some girls, like me, it's a good thing. If someone even looks at me in an interested way, Sam's there. They're very protective. But for other girls, it could be a bad thing," she said, looking at me as if she were trying to see what side of the line I was on. I thought about it a moment and couldn't help a small smile. I liked the way Jake was always there, watching over me. I liked thinking back to Mike Newton, knowing that he wouldn't have a chance getting to me now. I shrugged my shoulder, as if to tell her to go on. She was grinning now.

"Some more pros are that you'll never be alone… You'll always be loved by your imprint. Nothing can sway them from your side. And vice versa. They'll always come home to you, always ask about you. You won't be able to help asking them about them either. You'll want to know absolutely everything about them," she said, grabbing a piece of toast and taking a bite. I gave her time to think and chew her food.

"A con? Sometimes imprinting is just weird. It takes a while to get used to the idea," she said, staring at her toast. She glanced up at me and smiled. "You know, like Quil and Claire." I felt a weak shiver ripple down my spine. I remembered finding out about imprinting. I remember the weirded out moment I felt, until Jake had told me that there was no way Quil would think of Claire romantically until she was interested in him that way. It had eased my mind, a little. Emily continued, pushing her plate of food away ecstatically.

"But oh my God, the sex… It's so incredible," she said, her eyes rolling back a little. I brought my hand up to my mouth, trying to stifle an embarrassed laugh and hide my blush at the same time. I bit on my lip, thinking about Jake, the night at my house… "It would seem you already know about that though…" she said, giving me a sisterly look. My blush deepened. She laughed again and I tore off a piece of bread and threw it at her. She moved to the side and cleared her throat, still trying not to laugh.

"I guess the fact that you've done things with Jake leads into the next con…" she said, leaning forward. I also came closer. "There are NO secrets from the pack, or anyone involved in it. For most things, it's good. Like if you want to know what's going on with Victoria, you can get it out of them. But for more personal, more… erotic, things, like sex… The whole pack will know about it. It's sort of like being on display. I think that might be my biggest turn off… But that's just how the whole pack works, you know? Being with a werewolf means the whole pack can read their thoughts," she said, shrugging it off. I had crossed my arms over my chest, not really wanting to think about my body being displayed for the pack. Then again, I blushed furiously, they probably already knew. More than one werewolf had been in Jake's head since he had gone down on me. I swallowed.

"I guess it's not as bothersome of an idea when you think about it though. In the end, being with this pack means we're all family. As you've already been adopted into it, you know how the boys are. There's teasing, but it's harmless. Most of the time, it's even funny. And the wolves are so strong… So loyal, and fierce… They're wonderful people, they really are," she said, getting a faraway look. I knew she was thinking about Sam. After a moment of gazing off, and when my apple was half finished, I cleared my throat.

"Anything else?" I asked, thinking imprinting wasn't all that bad so far. Her gaze came back and she let out a little breath.

"The last of the cons, I guess… You can't stay away from each other. The longer the male goes without seeing you, the weaker he becomes, the less able he is to function at all. The females, we become more moody, more bitchy. I'm not a nice person to be around when I don't see Sam for more than a few hours. It's why we're together so often," she said, looking into my eyes. I nibbled on my lip, a thought in the back of my head. She continued first.

"And if either the werewolf of their imprint dies, the other would wander a lonely existence, or die. Then again, I've never really thought about either Sam or I dying. Never really had to. I'm healthy, and he's the strongest man I know. He'll take care of everything," she said, leaning back in her chair, already beginning to day dream again. I snuggled in my question.

"When I was stuck at the house, with… With 'him'… Jake-"

"He wasn't doing so well, no. He was bed ridden. It's why he didn't come to see you. It's why we didn't find out about Edward keeping you hostage sooner," she said, looking at me pointedly. Guilt idled down my throat, making me feel somewhat numb. Jake had said he stayed away because of Victoria… He had still been trying to protect me from the idea of being imprinted on.

Jesus, I was such an idiot… Jake had imprinted on me that night… The night I had run from him, to go back to the sadistic prick's arms. I had put Jake through unmentionable pain. I had caused him so much hurt. I had always caused him so much hurt. I was causing it now, even. I let out a deep breath, unable to look at Emily any more. Her hand came across the table to caress mine.

"He doesn't blame you, Bella… No one here does. You're Jake's mate. We all love you for making him happy," she said. I looked up and saw her bright smile. I tried to muster my own, but it didn't work so well. It was weak. I began to get up and she grabbed our plates before I could.

"Thanks, Emily… For everything. This talk, the help yesterday, the clothes-"

"The toothbrush?" she added and I couldn't help smiling now.

"As long as it was the red one," I said and she grinned, nodding. "I guess I just need some time to think alone now," I said, turning towards the hallway.

"Just remember the most important thing, Bella," Emily said, stopping me. I turned around and looked at her from across the kitchen. She turned, wiping her hands on her shirt.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You love Jake. Imprinting or no, would you ever leave him?" she asked. I felt something thud into my stomach. It was my answer. She smiled and waved me off. I swallowed and turned, heading to Jake's room. Emily's words rang through my head. I shuffled through Jake's room and found a very large shirt and decided I would just re wear the pants Emily had given me yesterday. I made my way to the shower.

Inside it, I let the steam, not as hot as yesterday, take away all my thoughts. The water cascading over me made me forget everything, even if it was only for the duration of the shower. It was hard to imagine everything that had changed just over day ago… It felt like an eternity ago. By the time I got out, my thoughts were already beginning to cloud my mind again. I dressed and went into Jake's room, sliding the window open and sitting in the frame, pulling a leg up to my chest.

The day wasn't cold and ugly, like yesterday. The clouds had somewhat dispersed, letting in just a little bit of sunlight, in splotches. It warmed me to see them. The sun. My heart thudded against my chest. I laughed at the irony as I thought now.

Well, I'd always said Jake was my own person sun… Now I'm his world. I inhaled and let it out, letting out some of the stress that thought brought. It didn't change anything. Him imprinting on me just meant he loved me, confirmed it, forever. There was still a small part inside me that feared what I felt for Jake was what I had felt for Edward…. But it was whisked away with a cool breeze that wandered over my skin.

No. Jake was meant for me. That's what imprinting was. Jake was mine, and I was his.

Like we always have been…

Jake's POV

I barely picked my four feet up, trudging through the forest. I was already feeling weak. The sun had set hours ago. I had only gotten a few hours of sleep last night over at Emily's and Sam's.. But the worst part of it all was I was getting weak because I hadn't seen Bella. I hadn't had the courage to go back home all day.

And then, he was RIGHT in my face, Jake. Like you have no idea, he was RIGHT THERE! Quil's thoughts ran through my head. He was retelling the story, for what had to be the third time since he'd been on patrol with me. I stuck my nose into the ground, trying to accept that he needed to tell his hero story several million times. Especially when it had to do with my damsel in distress.

He deserved the applause, the appreciation. He deserved it especially from me. I was endlessly thankful. I forever would be. But sometimes, like right now, I just wanted to stamp on his head with each one of my feet. He wasn't doing well for keeping my mind off Bella.

And then, he suddenly stopped-

Enough, Quil. Jake, get some rest. It's already past nine. Sam's thoughts broke up Quil's rant. I could feel a roll of sadness wash over him, but acceptance. Apparently he thought I needed to go home too. I braced my feet on the ground.

I'm fine, Sam-

No you're not, Jake. Don't kid yourself. We feel your emotions just as well as you do. You're really taking the separation from Bella badly, Sam thought. I knew he was running towards us, ready to chase me back if he had to.

No kidding, I'm still feeling creepy crawlies under my skin about you sleeping with a vampire's ex- Quil thought, but I turned and nipped at his heels. He yelped out and took off into the forest. I laughed.

Not funny, Jake! See if I ever save your imprint again! he yelled in his head. I wanted to burry my face in the ground and let the laughter roll through me. After a minute, I got to my feet and started out on the trail again.

Go home, Jacob. That's an alpha order, Sam said and I growled. Go shower and relax. I grumbled inside my head, half mimicking him, but I turned tail and started running home.

Fine.

And stop feeling so anxious. Em talked to Bella this morning. I slammed to a halt, almost tumbling over my front feet.

No, Sam you didn't! I saw him in my head, holding up his arms as if to say, shoot, it wasn't my fault.

I didn't. She did. You know Em. She's so maternal.

I groaned inwardly. What did she tell Bella? Had it made it worse? Had it made it better? What would happen when I got home tonight?

I'm sorry, Jake. You know what Emily is like when she gets like this. Sam thought. I tried not to let it weigh too heavily in my mind. A new entrance of thoughts barged into our heads. It was Embry.

Go on, Jake… Bella loves you, you'll be fine, he said after a moment, shifting through our thoughts. I pawed at the ground a little. No matter what, I did need a shower. And I felt the ache coming back into my muscles. I really didn't need to be out patrolling any more. If Bella still needed more time, I'd head back over to Emily's and crash on her couch again. I hefted a big sigh and started walking the rest of the way back to my home.

Sam was shouting off orders to Embry and Quil, giving them parameters and directions. I was standing at the edge of the forest closest to my home. I turned and glanced back, knowing I wouldn't see them.

Thanks, guys. All of you. I thought. I heard Quil start laughing like a hyena before Embry tackled him to the ground and yapped in his face.

Act your species, dog, he said, making me laugh.

Go, Jake. We'll all be fine. We'll yell if we need anything, Sam said, and I nodded. I concentrated on shifting then, feeling my skin start to ripple and rest back into my human form. I pulled the pants off from around my ankle and yanked them on, feeling the ache in my human muscles way more than I had when I was a wolf. I practically limped back home.

My dad was already in his room. I could hear him snoring lightly as I climbed up the porch steps, as quietly as I could. I slipped into the house and made it into the bathroom, shutting the door lightly behind me. I let out a deep breath and turned on the shower. With any luck, Bella was already asleep. I would just sneak in after my shower, grab some clothes and then pass out on the couch.

The hot water running over my body was like a relaxant, easing the tension out of every muscle I possessed. I rolled my neck, taking in deep soothing breaths through the steam. I leaned one fist up against the wall, leaning into it for support. I let the water drip over my head as I stared at the water knobs.

Had Bella had enough time? Had she given any thought to the idea of imprinting last night, before Emily got to her this morning? Did Emily scare her more? Or force her into a decision? I gulped. Did she tell Bella about my idiotic reaction over the last week, to her absence? I felt heat creeping through my cheeks and groaned.

Oh, anything but that… I didn't need Emily guilting Bella into staying with me. I knew she would never again think about putting her desires above my thoughts, above my well being. I just wanted Bella to come to me on her own. She had been there, last night, ready to give me everything… Then I had gone and fucked things up by telling her about the imprinting.

I growled out and finished my shower, turning off the water. I towel dried quickly, wrapped the flimsy fabric around my waist and then left the bathroom, slipping silently into my room. I eased a drawer open, so quietly, trying not to wake Bella. I hadn't even glanced over.

In, out, pass out on couch. In, out, pass out on couch. My thoughts trampled through my head in that order. I grabbed a pair of boxers and then slipped into my closet, grabbing a new pair of sweat pants. I turned to go back out, but there she was, blocking my path.

She was standing in the doorway, leaning her shoulder lazily into the frame. I swallowed, audibly. She was dressed in some loose fitting shirt, probably mine. I glanced down and saw she wasn't wearing any pants. Of course not, if she wanted to sleep comfortably, she wouldn't wear dress pants to bed.

God damn dress pants, I thought, watching her slender legs move forward into the closet with me. My eyes traveled up. The shirt was long enough to cover her essentials. Barely. I took a step back and banged into my clothes. This closet had never been big enough for me.

"Jacob, we need to talk."

A/N : Read and review, you lazy readers! Will there be lemons next scene? What do you think? I think I'm so ready for some major Bella/Jake action… Yummy.

I wonder if I can reach 30 reviews on one chapter? We got close a few chapters ago. Tell me what you think!

And last, thank you to all of my constant reviewers. My boyfriend was reading me some of your reviews yesterday, and I discovered I can pinpoint most of you just by hearing your reviews! 'Specially you Kitty, MyTwiDreams, DaisyPeach, TeamJacobYeah, Twilighter, MandaRe and Redwolf22! I hope I can live up to all your guys expectations for this story.