A/N - Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews and encouragement. And then I go do something like this. *ducks and runs*

Chapter 43 - Black Sheep and Questions

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Harry stayed silent as he sat and waited while Hermione poured them both a cup of steaming hot tea before she took the seat opposite him. Somehow, keeping his attention on his own cup didn't distract him from how awkward he felt. A few moments passed before she said anything.

"I-"

He looked up, but Hermione simply smiled at him apologetically. "I know what you want from me, Harry. But I don't know if I can give it to you."

Harry immediately regretted not turning away from her and leaving when he had the chance. The rejection stung. It seemed to feel worse when he thought about how this whole business had successfully ruined one of the best friendships he had ever had. But one thing was for sure, he didn't have it in him to stay close to her for another minute.

"Right," he said nodding, his voice unusually hoarse. "I understand." He made a move to leave, stopping when Hermione placed her hand on his.

"Wait," she said in panic. "You didn't let me finish."

He really should have left. Instead, against his better judgement, he pulled his hand from under hers and looked at her expectantly. As far as he was concerned, there was nothing that she could do to make him feel better or worse. He felt absolutely horrid. When she looked down at her own cup of tea, her fingers circling it, he felt his patience start to leave him. "Well?"

Startled, she looked up. It took a moment, but once she took in a shaky breath, she looked ready to continue. "Do you remember when we started out last year? Everything was so clear then. We had this monumental task that we didn't know how we were going to perform. All we knew was that we had to do it, no matter what. We set out with one goal in mind and we knew what everyone thought."

Harry simply looked back with mild curiosity. Hermione always had a way of explaining things to him plainly when he didn't quite understand the situation, but that didn't mean that he didn't know what she was going on about now.

"We were fine, the three of us, weren't we? And then, Ron left," she finished softly. "Honestly, I never would have expected him to leave us the way he did. I don't know if I've even forgiven him for it," she whispered with a light shrug. "But he did leave, and we were left alone."

This time, when she looked at him with her eyes brimming with unshed tears, Harry found himself unable to meet her gaze; so he looked away.

"We shared something...profound and intense. You were everything to me those few months, just as I'm sure that I was everything to you. It's only natural that-"

"Don't," he said forcefully. He knew where she was going with this and he rather not hear it. "Don't tell me what I feel and why."

"I wasn't trying to."

"Yes, you were." He leant forward. "It's fine if you don't feel the same way, just don't make it sound as if what I feel is nothing."

She swallowed nervously, her eyes widening exponentially. "I never said that."

Harry slumped against his seat in defeat. He really should have left when he had the chance. This time when he tried to stand up, she stood up as well.

"Harry-"

He simply ignored her, making his way over to the fallen rucksack and picking it up easily.

"Don't leave." She grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

He tried to shrug her arm off, but she wouldn't let him. He narrowed his eyes at her. "Let go, Hermione."

She stood her ground, her eyes defiant. "No. You need to hear what I have to say."

"I already heard what you had to say." He pulled his arm again, only failing to dislodge himself from her grip.

"Not everything."

"I heard enough."

Hermione stepped in front of him, her jaw set and her eyes brilliantly lit. "I didn't lie when I said that you were everything to me. And I can't lie and say that I know what I feel for you. Everything is jumbled right now. I don't know if what we're going through is a phase or something more. But I'm not willing to risk our friendship in case it is a passing fancy."

He didn't know why, but he didn't quite believe her. "It's Ron, isn't it? You're just trying to let me down gently."

"No," Hermione said in a pleading tone, stepping closer while the grip on his arm tightened. "Didn't you hear me? I told you that you meant the world to me. You still mean the world to me. Do you have any idea how I felt when I thought you had died. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't-" She took in a shuddering breath, a lone tear escaping her eye to travel slowly down her cheek. "I still feel like hitting you when I think about it. You should never do that to me again. Never."

He shook his head. He understood, he really did. But that didn't change the way he felt. "Hermione-"

But she stepped even closer, interrupting him easily with her next words. "I've loved you since I was little, Harry. I've loved you as a friend. I don't know anything else. What you're asking-" She met his gaze. "Do you know what you're asking me?"

"I'll understand if you don't," he found himself saying. He wouldn't, really, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't try.

"I'm not saying that I don't," she said softly, the grip on his arm loosening. "I'm saying that I don't know." She looked at him earnestly. "How am I supposed to know that what I feel for you is anything more than what I always thought it was?"

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