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not beta'd
storyline - Sultry
prompt - expand
They insist on being called Carlisle and Esme. That's cool; my Dad's the same way with my friends. He says he doesn't need to feel any older than he is.
Esme is kind and friendly, but I catch her watching me sometimes. She'd said that they'd heard so much about me, and I wonder if that was Edward or if Masen said anything too. I almost hope he didn't. It might make things a little less… uncomplicated. Rose berates me for wishing that things had started out different, for wishing that I didn't have a past with Edward's brother. She says it's pointless and depressing, and she's right.
The only thing I can affect is the present, and that's where I fight to keep my focus.
Actually, that's not too hard at the moment. The food is delicious, the wine and atmosphere are warming, and the company is good. Better than good: wonderful. If Edward's extended family is as relaxed, affectionate and funny as his parents, I can see why he wants to move back home one day.
By the end of the evening I feel like I belong with them.
It's unexpected. And it feels amazing.
"Bella?"
I look at myself in the bathroom mirror, mild shock evident on my face as I answer the phone. "…Esme?"
"Hi. I was wondering if you wanted to meet me for a light lunch while the guys hang out."
My mouth opens, but no sound comes out. I look like a gaping fish.
"I mean… if you aren't busy. Edward told me you probably have a lot of schoolwork – " she says quickly.
"No, no. I'm free. Um… where shall we meet?"
"Our hotel has a couple of great restaurants…"
We make plans and I hang up, surprised as all hell. I'd figured her interest in me last night was mainly borne of curiosity – and politeness. It is appropriate that she and Carlisle would want to meet their son's main squeeze, especially seeing how serious he and I have gotten with one another. I get the impression their tight knit ways include significant others and they'd wanted to welcome me in to the fold or something.
But for his mother to request alone time with me? I'm touched, and a little apprehensive.
Because now it'll be just me and her, with no one to run interference when the uncomfortable questions begin.
I take BART in to the city and then a cab to the Palace Hotel. Esme meets me in the lobby, assuring me she hasn't been waiting long.
"Have you been here before?" she asks, hugging me gently.
I shake my head. "I haven't spent as much time on this side of the Bay as I'd like…"
She nods in understanding. "It's a lovely city, but I've heard great things about Oakland, as well." Her manners are impeccable. I smile inwardly at her grace and attempt to connect with me. "The atrium here is marvelous, though…"
We make small talk as we stroll to one of the restaurants. Talking to her is as easy as it was last night, and I find that I really want to get closer to her. Not just because she is Edward's mom, but because she shines and I can't help but be attracted to her light.
The table we're given is cozy, and in a corner.
"So…Edward is out with Carlisle?" I ask, running my finger down the condensation on my water glass. He'd told me he was spending their last day with them, so I'd automatically assumed he'd meant both of his parents.
"Yes. They went to a sports bar."
"Seriously?" I chuckle; that doesn't seem like Edward somehow. Or his Dad, come to think of it.
Esme rolls her eyes. "It's this thing that they do. Even back when Masen was around." Her words are clear and direct, but her gaze is focused on her napkin. "They love watching all the big games."
I nod. "My father's like that. He's had season passes to all the Raiders games for years."
She smiles, nodding.
Our appetizers come and for a minute we just eat, our remarks on mainly the food.
Then she looks at me and I just know this is it.
"Edward told me you used to see Masen."
I swallow my food, and clear my throat. "Yes. We met in college. Senior year. We were mostly friends… for awhile. And then. You know." I bite my lip and look at my plate. My face feels like it's on fire.
"Edward said he wanted to know you, but… I suppose the timing was never right," Esme sighs.
That's one way of looking at it, I guess. I'm still surprised how much Edward shared with her.
I decide to be blunt, because really – it's who I am and there's no other way around this. It worked with Edward when we first told each other how we felt; it has to work now.
"I had a pretty good relationship with Masen, but I know now it… wasn't what I thought it was. I don't want you to think this is easy for me, because it isn't. I know none of it is easy for you. I know. I just… I'm so sorry. For everything." My chest tightens. I'm rambling, but saying all of this – and to Esme Cullen – is really hard.
She nods, her eyes shining.
Please don't cry. Please don't. I can't handle it if you cry.
"Things have a way of working themselves out. They have to. Maybe not the way we want, but they work out. I don't know… I'm not going to try to understand why he was taken from me because I'll never know. I just have to deal with the fact that he's gone. And I have another son who needs me, and that's all it is. If I think about anything else I'll go crazy," she says. Her voice is shaking and so are her hands. I wish I know her well enough to hold them.
It's impossible to imagine being in her shoes. I wonder how she manages the day to day.
"Anyway." She takes a deep breath and looks me in the eye. "I invited you out today to let you know that we appreciate this isn't easy for either of you. I think you're doing something brave, following your heart like this. I can see it how you look at Edward, and how he looks at you. I think you're really good for my son," she continues. "The one you're with. It's just, it's right and I hope you treat each other well, and that you focus on what you have and not what you had."
Now my eyes are blurry and I blink furiously. "Thank you," I whisper.
"No, thank you," she says. "For Edward… you're something bright that came out of something dark."
If anyone else had said this to me, it could have sounded insincere or even corny, but from her it is a gift. My breath comes easy now. Her words make my heart expand; they give me exactly what I didn't know I needed.
But I did.
