Naively Clueless

crystal-mist

Runo's P.O.V

I needed to know… But then, what was the best way to approach this? Indirectly, or should I ask him right to the face… Hesitation wasn't my style, yet here I was immersed in a sort of doubt that had never previously enveloped me.

A week or two passed. The curiosity in me increased day by day… And Julie was out on vacation. Honestly! That girl is never around when I need her. I was on my own for this one.

And then I checked out this book from the library… My house was filled with commotion because my six year old cousin sister had come to visit and the little kiddies in the apartment complex came to visit her.

So I made my way to the terrace. I found this corner and sat there… I resumed reading the book in peace.

As I sat there I heard the faint sound of someone talking…

I spent almost every evening on the terrace and normally I am there all alone… But today was different.

And then, the talking noise grew louder and louder… Someone was approaching the terrace and I was mystified when I recognized who that 'someone' was… It was Dan. He was attending a call and talking away in a language that I could not completely comprehend.

He hadn't reached the entrance to the terrace yet. I gulped. What was I to do? Look at him? Welcome him with a smile? Pretend to be deeply engrossed in the book and ignore him? What?

For the moment I chose to keep my eyes glued upon the pages of the book.

I heard his voice momentarily stop out of the surprise of seeing me there. And then he continued his conversation… Alright, ignoring him now was probably too foolish. So I decided I would at least 'notice' him…

I raised my face from the book to find that he was approaching me. He smiled at me and sat down right beside me with his back on the wall.

I could not help but smile back at him…My smiled was certainly not forced, it came spontaneously.

He did not cease his conversation on the phone so I decided to turn back to the book.

It was strange; I think I read the very same paragraph twice or thrice.

"Uh-huh….Yeah…Okay…Bye bye then." He said finally and hung up the phone.

During the entire phone conversation I was very much aware of his gaze upon me. And now that he had ceased talking on the phone I could still feel that gaze fixated on me.

I tried my best to ignore it…

"Will it be alright if you stopped reading now?"

Wow, that was straightforward.

I drew in a deep breath, closed the book and then looked at him. "Alright then."

He seemed a bit surprised that I had actually done as he asked without protest.

"So…Who were you talking to?" I asked, starting a conversation.

"My Mom…" he answered. "She was nagging me about not calling her often enough."

"I see.." Should I ask him about Myleen now? "Dan…Aaaaaaaaahhhh!"

The scream came because this crow had come flying down and almost perched on my head. Instantaneously I shuffled and almost fell forwards as I jumped out of the way. I had never trusted animals or birds of any kind.

And then as I settled down from the shock I noticed that Dan was smiling amusedly. "WHAT?" I snapped. He only chuckled… "It's nothing…it's nothing…"

I felt utterly embarrassed… I just sat there watching as Dan's chuckle transformed into helpless laughter. I took hold of my book and flicked him on the head with it. "Stop laughing."

"You should have seen your face Runo…" he said playfully as he tugged the book out of my grip with ease. "I didn't know that you could scared so easily."

"Well…What was I to do?" I said settling back down. I extended my hand towards him. "My book please."

Dan ignored me and kept it aside… He looked at the sky. "It's been a while since it was just the both of us like this, hasn't it?"

My eyes widened and I think the temperature of my palms lowered a bit… Yeah, that was my standard reaction when I was nervous- my hands go cold.

"Yeah." I answered. I tried to think of something to say… If I kept mum like this then he might leave…But I still couldn't say anything.

I was looking straight forwards but I was aware of his form sitting there lazily beside me.

A heavy sigh escaped his. He sat up straight then gave me back my book. He stood up…

"Are you leaving?" I asked in a hurry…No, I didn't want him to leave.

He gazed at me. "Well, you don't seem to be in a mood to talk…" he said matter-of-factly. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you." he was leaving.

"No, you aren't disturbing me…" I said.

The surprise on his face was evident. He hadn't expected me to say something like that, Truth be told, neither had I.

"Is that so?" a smile appeared on his face as he walked back to his previous spot and sat back down. He leaned on the wall. "Fine… say something entertaining." He said.

"Alright." And then I started telling him about the latest happening in my school. Well, it was his school as well so he could relate to everything. I realized that it had been so long since I've talked to him so freely.

He told me about his new school as well. And then we exchanged jokes and we were soon laughing heartily without a care in the world.

I had completely forgotten to ask him anything Myleen related.

And then, the sun was about to set… "I'd better head back home." I said standing up.

He stood up as well and we walked towards the terrace door.

"It was nice….Talking to you like that again…" he said.

"Like what?"

"Like we are somewhat 'close' again."

Close…That word got to me… My hands were probably as cold as ice now. "I guess…" I agreed. He was right. It did feel nice.

"And…One more thing." He said but then he seemed to regret speaking as he saw my smile.

"What is it?" I asked. I felt concerned all of a sudden.

"Never mind." He said.

"But Dan."

He then took a deep breathe. "I've been a bit depressed this past week…However; I feel very happy right now…Thanks for cheering me up." He explained, smiling widely.

I gulped at his frankness… "Don't worry about it." I replied averting my gaze from him. I felt the realization of my feeling for him screeching at me from inside. 'Tell him….tell him.' "I feel…" my voice lowered so I raised it a bit. "I feel happy too." I admitted.

"That's good to know." The smiled on his face widened like never before. "See you Runo." He said before walking ahead of me…

Little did I know that wasn't what he was about to tell me.

The next evening as I went up to the rooftop I felt myself wondering if Dan would come today as well… Much to my dismay he did not show up… I felt a bit downhearted. However he came the day after that and we talked again.

"You know Runo. I've known you for so long yet I still can't predict you…Your everything is so confusing." He said.

I stared at him. "Is that a compliment or an insult?"

"Neither… I was just stating a fact."

"Hm…."

And then we resumed talking.

"So…" I hesitated a bit but decided to go ahead with it. "How's Myleen?"

Dan seemed surprised. "Fine…" he raised an eyebrow. "Why are you asking of her all of a sudden."

"No reason." I said… I suddenly felt embarrassed.

"I know that you're lying Runo…" he said. "But, I'll let it slide for now."

As time went by Dan seemed to be more and more distant. Finally he spoke up unable to take any more of this. "Runo…There is something you need to know." He said seriously.

Until then I was in a laid back mood. But the tone in his voice surprised me. I gulped and sat up straight.

Dan shifted a bit so that he was tilted and now face to face with me.

"What is it?" I asked turning towards him as well… I felt this sort of uneasiness.

"You see….I…" then he stopped.

"Let me guess…You and Myleen are together as a couple now." I said warily.

Dan's eyes widened and he momentarily forgot what he was about to say. "Whatever gave you that idea?" he exclaimed.

"So…It's true."

"Obviously not…" he defended. "We're good friends, that is all." He explained. "What made you say that Runo?"

"I heard rumors."

"Lies…All lies. I swear."

I believed him on impulse… And then he reverted back to that serious expression. He extended his hand towards me. "Promise me you won't get mad at me." He said.

I stared at him in surprise.

"Promise me that you won't stop talking to me…" he urged me.

I raised an eyebrow at him… What was it he was about to tell me? Hesitantly I held out my hand and placed it on his. "I promise."

He nodded now with confidence.

"I still haven't succeeded in getting over you…" he confessed. "My feelings for you are still intact."

My eyes widened in wonder…Was he really saying all that? Those words, they were music to my ears. But I still couldn't react favorably. My heart was practically jumping in joy.

"I…see…" I said. I could have kicked myself for that lame response.

"Runo, I swear I've tried… But then, you always astound me…The ways you react, your character it always captures me…And I can't seem to forget-"

"It's alright." I cut him short. I was nervous as ever. "Please don't…"

He looked at me in utter surprise. "Please don't what?"

"Please don't get over me." There I said it…I finally said it, I finally admitted how I really felt.

I had never seen Dan look so thunderstruck… "What…what did you say?"

. "Don't tell me you want me to repeat that." I exclaimed. My heart, it was beating so fast… So fast, so fast. "Because…I…over time I think I've started to return those feelings." I grasped my knees tighter to my body.

He continued to look at me incredulously. "For real?"

I nodded now averting my gaze from his. I could still feel him staring at me.

He sighed heavily… A sort of happy sigh… "Wow…" he muttered as he shifted back to his previous position. He leaned his back on the wall.

"Dan…" I called him, yet I did not know what to say.

He turned to me.

I could think of nothing to say…Then why did I call out to him?

He smiled softly. "I love you Runo." He said it straight to my face. No beating round the bush, nothing.

I gazed at him…My stomach was doing summersaults. "I lov…I love you too." I half-whispered.

"You have no idea how fulfilling it feels to finally hear those words from your lips." He said beaming at me.

II felt embarrassed… Clearly, because I normally never spoke out what my heart felt and it felt liberating.

"When I finally realized these feelings Myleen was getting too close to you for comfort… And I thought that you liked Myleen. And."

"Why would I turn to her with you right in front of me?" he asked as if stating the obvious.

I felt a contented smile form on my lips. I then looked directly into his eyes…Finally it felt so nice to gaze into those brown orbs. To think that now my feelings were out in the open.

"I am sorry that it took so long for me to sort things out." I told him… "And even so, I did not take the first step…" I brushed some strands of my hair out of my face. "I am such a coward…" I said ashamedly.

"Don't say that…" he said, his voice was now slightly more serious. When I looked at him I noticed that the smile had faded from his face.

I felt anxious. "Dan, is something wrong?"

He looked at me… "Of course not." His smile returned. "Why would something be wrong now? I've just received something so lovely."

As the sun was about to set we made our way back home.

"Bye bye Runo…" he told me with that smile of his.

"Bye...Daniel-sama." I said lightheartedly.

He chuckled. "Sure, now you call me sama."

I smiled as I ran to the door to my house. I opened it and gave him one last smile before going in.

Little did I know that the moment I went inside the house Dan's smiled faded from his lips and a horrible guilt encased his features. "I should have told her…I should have told her that I'm going to move back to my parent's house later this year… And then, we may never see one another again…Darn it. She'll probably be the last one to know…I was about to tell her, that's why I made her promise that she wouldn't get angry with me…But when she told me that she returned my feelings I wanted to pretend that it were possible to be with her..I wanted to feel like we could be together even if it was short-lived. I don't know what came over me…How can I possibly tell her now?"

Alright that was the second last chapter for this story…Next comes the finale… Yeah, life is hard…It never goes the way you expect it to. Confusion is something that human beings ca just NOT avoid no matter how much they want to. Even if you so badly wish to express your feelings you may be unable to reveal the full extent of your emotions…. Life is filled with regretful experiences. And human beings can only learn from their mistakes and hope to strive forth.

So what did you think?

Please do not blame me for these regretful occurrences. There are just some things that remain out of the reach of your control.

With that said…Please REVIEW and tell me what your opinion is.