I throw on grey sweatpants and a t-shirt and dry my hair with a towel. I remember Maya's note aboout Jensen calling about something important, and I walk out of the bathroom into the living room (or at least the small area we call 'the living room') where Maya still sits on the couch, her knees pulled to her chest, writing down numbers I can't understand. Math; she's always been good with stuff like that. The TV adds quiet noise.
"Hey, M, when did Jensen call?" I ask. She pauses before answering.
"Like, six-ish," She turns around to me.
"'Six-ish'?"
"Yeah, six a.m.,"
"Why were you even awake then?"
"I dunno, I couldn't sleep. I had class anyway." Maya turns back around to her work.
I walk to the kitchen counter and copy Jensen's number into my phone and call it. It rings shortly before he picks it up.
"Hi," I start.
"Campbell, you called! I called you this morning,"
"I know, sorry I wasn't there. I'm just really tired and all,"
"It's fine. Your girlfriend -Maya, was it?- answered. So you're back on the ice, I hear,"
"Yeah I'm officially a Leaf again, it's great, really."
"That's so good to hear, Campbell."
There's an awkward pause before I speak up again.
"So why'd you call?"
"I wanted to know if you could stop by our Toronto branch to make some sort of appointment schedule?" He says.
"Probably not," I start. "I have hockey booked up for the month, my calendar's full."
"Well, haven't you hit the ground running! That's wonderful, but you need to schedule appointments to make you full recovery."
"I know." I say, my voice sounding smaller than I thought.
"What about Maya, could she schedule anything for you?" Maya? Why the hell does he need Maya, of all people?
"Maya? Um, I think she pretty booked with university and her cello stuff, I'll see. How about I call you tomorrow?" I say, trying hard to make it like I brushed off that Maya comment.
"Great." He says. And hangs up.
I got to the couch where Maya sits, tapping her pencil on her book quietly. I jump on and lay with my feet on Maya's lap. She laughs and shoves my feet off. I sit up.
"What did he call about?" Maya asked, twirling her pencil with her fingers.
"Scheduling stuff with the Toronto branch." I say.
"And...?" Maya gestures.
"And, I said I was booked with hockey. Which I am." I say.
"Yeah, Cam, two days a week sure is tiring hard work. How could you possibly take time to schedule appointments?" Maya says with a quirky smile.
I roll my eyes and put my feet up on the coffee table. "I just don't want to. I like being here." I say.
"Disinterest in activities, staying home a lot...sound familiar?" Maya says, stating the symptoms of depression; the long- endless -list that I've heard many times before.
"I meant I like being here with you." I say, leaning in and kissing her, but she pulls back shortly.
"I'm not here all the time. I have classes all week and I need to make time for cello and all of the-"
"Maya," I whine, hitting my head against the couch and turning to her. She turns to me.
"He asked if you would schedule, too. How creepy is that? I told him you were busy. I hope that's okay, I didn't think you'd want to deal with my problems right now, I'll tell him tomorrow that you-"
"Why would you think I don't want to help you?" Maya says, a little defesively.
"It's just that you're so much better than me, acing math and playing your cello with the national freaking orchestra! I just don't want you to get caught up in my mess right now. You're too good for me, Maya." I say.
"Says the NHL star! Cam, you just need to believe in yourself. Have a little faith. And we can still do stuff. I'm not at TU all the time." She leans in close to me.
"Do stuff? Like...?" I start to kiss her, thinking I know what she meant by 'stuff', but she pulls away with a devilish smile.
"Not now, Mister 'I'm-too-tired-I-want-to-go-to-bed'. You said you'd catch up on sleep."
"You're really going to make me go to bed right now?" I say.
"Hey, you're the one who's tired at six o'clock." She says.
"Won't you at least, like, come with me?" I ask. A try wouldn't hurt.
"If you promise to actually fall asleep this time." She says.
I roll my eyes. "Fine," I say. "as long as I get your company."
Laying in bed, I try to wrap my arms around her waist, or kiss her cheek, or do something that'll spark something. Nothing. She refuses, gently, at least, and just faces me, her blue eyes piercing mine, making it really hard to fall asleep.
"I came back," I say.
"Came back...?" Maya repeats.
"I'm not at Greenlake anymore. I'm not sick anymore."
"I know."
"Then why won't you...you know..."
"Why won't I have sex with you?" Maya says, raising her voice. "What, did you think that now that you're back, that we can just do that? Cam, you know better than to mess with me like that. You know I'm not comfortable with it."
"Maya..." I say, unsure of what to say next.
"Cam. Wake up! I've told you so many times that you can't just forget everything and play me like that. You know how I feel about sex. You're the only person I can trust with my body, and you just play me like that. I'm not a doll, Cam." She says, loud and certain, and she walks out of the room.
"Maya! Maya, I-I'm sorry! Maya!" I call down the hallway. But she doesn't answer.
I wake up without Maya next to me. I figure she just slept on the couch or something but she's not even here. Not even a note on the kitchen counter. I call her cell nearly forty times, and each are unanswered.
I don't have conditioning or practice or any plans, really. At least not for myself. Maya and I had planned for today to be the day that we get our Christmas tree and walk down the Queen Street shops for our Christmas stuff. But I guess not today.
I go out, because I have nothing else better to do. I walk down Queen Street and stop at Degrassi, the place I met Maya. Tristan is a student teacher here, now. I don't think he ever had plans of making it as a teacher, but it's probably just for the learning or whatever. I almost go in, but remember the 'No Strangers' policy and I stay outside instead.
I see Tristan emerge from the front doors, amid many students. He spots me and runs to me and embraces me.
"Cheesy! When did you...?" He starts.
"Come back? I got a few days a go... Maya never told you?" I say.
"Nope. Well, anyway, the kids at Degrassi are getting crazier by the second. I hope I wasn't ever that annoying." Tristan jerks his head sideways, gesturing to a group of three boys and one girl, all of them dressed in black or dark red. They start taking off the letters on the Degrassi welcome/reminders board outside the doors.
"Tristan..." I start. I don't think he sees the kids.
"What?" He turns and sees them and sighs heavily, swearing undey his breath. "Daniel, Spencer, get off the sign!" He shouts at the two boys, who then jump off the sign and glare at him. The girl and another boy still mess with the letters on the sign. "Erik, Jade, do I need to tell Mr. Simpson about your behaviour again?" He yells. They stop and roll their eyes, walking back inside the school.
"I have to deal with this every day. Ugh, at least not the weekends. Thank God; I can't deal with these kids sometimes." I laugh at his over-exaggerated frustration as he takes a bite of his sandwich. A kid, probably grade ten, with big glasses and an over-sized coat, walks up to our table with a pen and paper.
"You're Cam Saunders, aren't you?" He asks with an amused smile.
"The one and only." I say. I don't know if I've ever been recognized by a kid before.
"Could I get your autograph?" He asks. I nod, and he sets the pen and paper down on the table, bringing the sleeves of his jacket up, revealing cuts and scars on his wrists. He quickly pulls them back down, like he's afraid that I saw them.
"Who do I make this out to?" I ask.
"Carter." He says.
And I write:
Hey, Carter. You're a cool dude. Don't let anyone else's words change that.
Trust me, I'd know.
Campbell Saunders #67
I hand the pen and paper back to him and he reads it and leaves with a small smile.
"So how about this weekend we all go out, do something together? You, me, Maya, Tor. Ooh! I could bring Desmond, my boyfriend. You'd love him, he's such a sports nerd, he's totally-"
I interrupt him. "That's the thing," I say. "I don't know where Maya is."
"You don't know where Maya is? Cam, you live with her, how do you not know where she is?" Tristan shouts.
"Jeez, Milligan! Not so loud." I say.
"Sorry. You were saying..."
"We had a fight last night. I thought she was just going to sleep on the couch, but when I woke up, she wasn't there. I called her, but she never answered." I say.
"Well did you call Tori?" He asks.
"No, why would I call- oh, wait. Okay I'll call Tori." Maybe Maya crashed at Tori's for the night or something. I call and wait for an answer. Nothing.
"Nothing?" Tristan asks, seeming surprised.
"Nothing." I confirm. If she's not at Tori's, then where the hell is she?
"Look, maybe she was just busy, we can stop by after school. Cam, just, don't freak out, okay?" He says. A bell rings, announcing the end of this lunch period. "I gotta go. Tell me when you find her, okay?"
I nod and get up. I think that maybe if Maya didn't go to Tori's, she went to Katie and Jake's place.
I end up taking a taxi to their house, because I'm defiitely not walking the fifteen miles there. I walk up to the doorstep and ring the doorbell. Jake comes and answers the door. He greets me with a dopey smile.
"Saunders, it's good to see you back!" He shouts; the neighbours can probably hear. I shrug. "Come in, kid." I walk in and their house is surprisingly very neat. "So, what brings you to the Martin abode?"
"Well, I don't know where Maya is, and I thought she may have crashed here." I say.
"Maya's not here, sorry. How do you just misplace your girlfriend anyway?" Jake says jokingly.
"We had a fight. Couldn't find her this morning and she's not answering my calls. I just don't-"
Katie walks down the stairs in pajamas and messy hair like she just woke up. It's past noon.
"Cam," Katie says, yawning. "What are you doing here?"
"Looking for Maya, who is obviously not here. I'm going to go now. Goodbye." As I walk to the door, Jake stops me. "What?" I say.
"Wait." Jake says, quietly. He gestures to Katie. "You need to feel the wrath of my wife now. Sorry, kid." Jake walks out of the room and Katie walks down the stairs and stands in front of me, her arms crossed.
"What did you do to Maya?" Katie hisses.
"I didn't do anything to her, we just had a fight and I can't find her now." I say.
"Maya's a fragile little thing. Treat her wrong, and she breaks, 'kay?" Katie says.
I nod and walk out the door.
If she isn't anywhere to be seen and won't answer my calls, there's a serious question at hand. Where the hell is Maya Matlin?
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Hey! That rhymed!