6 – Challenge the bull
I'll get to Alexander's answer soon, but first let's just check the landing gear on an airplane flying from Rochester, back to LaGuardia, ˝I can't believe we did this entire roadtrip for nothing,˝ the Private received a slap on the back of the head, ˝This wasn't a roadtrip soldier, it was a mission and it was a complete success.˝
Kowalski pulled out the abacus and moved some beads, ˝You're absolutely correct Skipper, given the fact that there were no actual goals to begin with, and even though we didn't achieve any, we got a perfect score.˝
˝You hear that Private… that's the sound of accomplishment,˝ the little penguin turned his heads in all plausible direction, ˝Sorry Skippah, but I can't hear it,˝ the captain slapped his forehead and sighed, ˝But wait, what are gonna do with Alexander, we didn't find the girl and I'm pretty sure he won't be too cheery about being frozen?˝
Skipper threw an uncertain look at Kowalski and Rico. The maniac shrugged while the lieutenant began writing something on his clipboard, ˝We could use the Lamotrigine prescribed for Marlene. It is a mood stabilizer after all.˝ The leader scratched his bottom beak, ˝well… I sure wouldn't want to ruin our success rate, so it'll have to do.˝
Now to the zoo, let me just recreate the scenario: Barry on top of the clock tower, Alexander in the courtyard right behind the entrance, the large mammals standing on the side and the three girls suspended from the arch above the entrance.
˝It is tempting, so I'll have to say yes.˝
˝Fine, be the sanctimonious fool. I'll just have to destroy you like all, wait, did you just say yes?˝ the monitor nodded, ˝But I had this whole speech prepared for when you decline my offer,˝ the frog sighed, ˝Looks like an amphibian can't have everything, but it will still be a pleasure to have you at my side.˝
The reptile broke into laughter, but only got a questioning look from the frog, he eventually regained his composure and wiped a tear from his eye, ˝Sorry, but I just enjoy screwing with my opponents *sigh*, this one I'm going to remember. An entire speech… priceless.˝
˝So you're not joining me?˝
˝Hell no! Seriously, you've just given yourself away with that offer. You're not really sure if you can beat me, are you?˝ the lizard grinned, waiting for the amphibian's response.
˝The offer was just a token of mercy,˝ Barry jumped from the tower, right in front of the reptile, ˝Now, the last time I checked, this wasn't a Japanese anime.˝
˝You're right, it isn't, we should stop talking and sta,˝ the medic was sent flying across the zoo. All the animals watched him soar, until he finally came down somewhere behind the lemur habitat. ˝Wow, don't know my own strength,˝ commented Barry, observing his hands. A smirk formed and he began jumping towards the monitor.
Alexander landed right on a bench, or at least what used to be a bench. He stood up and pulled a large splinter from his thigh, ˝That red and blue freak's been a thorn in my side for a long time, but he just crossed the line,˝ he let out a short snicker, ˝Man, why wasn't there anyone around to hear that one.˝ He heard something behind him and his natural reflexes to jump out the way kicked in, but the reptile just wasn't fast enough.
He was tackled from behind by the poisonous frog and once again sent flying, but this time against the wall of the reptile house. ˝I'm sorry, did that hurt?˝ the amphibian's mocking wasn't really welcomed. Alexander stood up and turned to face his opponent; he wiped some blood from his mouth and cracked his neck.
˝You know what, I'm glad you used the super-ray, otherwise this wouldn't be much of a fair fight.˝ The two began running towards each other, slowly picking up speed, they interlocked fingers, pressing down on the other, testing the opponent's strength.
The frog was superior, but the lizard wasn't about to let him know that, ˝Is that the best you got?˝ asked Barry, with a confident grin. 'Finding the right leverage, better weapon, weakness,… or cheating, cheating will work,' thought the medic. He jabbed his opponent in the stomach, using his tail. The unexpected maneuver broke Barry out of the stalemate.
Alexander threw two punches at the amphibian's head, followed by a kick to the stomach and an uppercut. The frog was thrown on his back. The monitor was breathing hard, but he knew this wasn't over; it never is with boss fights, except for Assassin's Creed 2, where you literally just keep on pressing x, until you beat the pope's ass.
The medic watched as his opponent slowly got up, Barry rubbed his jaw ˝Forgot about the tail, but it won't happen again.˝ Alexander spit on the ground, ˝You may be stronger, but I've got all the weapons,˝ said the reptile, referring to his claws. The frog smirked, ˝Too bad they won't do you any good.˝
It was already after noon, it was the hottest point of the day and a cold-blooded monitor was at his peak, he faked a strike with his right claw and snuck behind the amphibian's back. ˝Looks like you can't corner with all those muscles,˝ the medic sank his hand into the frog's back. The pain forced Barry to the ground, but he used his hands to brace himself.
˝Always protect the kidneys, you've only got the pair,˝ Alexander pulled out his claws and walked back to the front of his opponent, ˝Don't worry, all you have to do is fall asleep, I'll do the rest,˝ he said in a whisper.
The frog began laughing hysterically, ˝Uncertain about our career choice, are we?˝ he stood up and turned, so the monitor could see the wound heal, instantly, ˝Impressive, isn't it? The kitten wanted to play hero and she did land some decent cuts before falling to my touch,˝ Alexander listened to him, but he kept rubbing his eyes, because his vision was getting blurry, ˝imagine my surprise when all the cuts just healed.˝
The monitor's breathing was getting harder as well, Barry noticed the symptoms, ˝And it looks like you've just discovered that my poison's gotten a little stronger too.˝ Alexander dropped into a half kneeling position, bracing himself with a hand. The amphibian grabbed him by the tail and spun him around, exactly like you would in a hammer throw, and, once again, sent him flying across the zoo.
The reptile landed in the center of the courtyard and was soon met with the concerned looks of the zoo residents; he picked himself up and, in spite of his blurry vision, managed to spot his bag. ˝Just what I need,˝ he began running towards it, but was stopped by the frog that just fell out of the sky and pinned him down. ˝If you hadn't moved, this wouldn't have happened,˝ Barry turned around to see the lizard's goal, ˝Oh, I see, you wanted to get your purse. Nice try.˝
'Another hysterical laughter, can't that toad keep his mouth shut… hmm, that gives me a nasty idea,' the medic began gathering mucus from his throat. Barry was too busy celebrating to notice Alexander hock a loogie right into his mouth.
The frog looked like he was choking, holding his throat, making the various noises. The monitor used the opportunity to get rid of his opponent. He threw Barry off, using his hind legs and made another attempt at the duffel bag. The amphibian looked like he was about to throw up, ˝Man that was nasty.˝
˝Drama queen,˝ commented one of the mammals. The frog turned to them with an angry glare, ˝Who said that?… that's what I thought.˝ He turned back to where the monitor was before, but there was no sign of his opponent, he growled and began hoping, in search of the medic.
Meanwhile, inside the alligator enclosure, ˝Not exactly the best hiding spot, but then again, it's only temporary,˝ Alexander opened his bag and pulled out three syringes. ˝Pardon me for interrupting, but who are you again?˝ asked Roger, the habitat owner. The monitor didn't turn around, ˝I'm friends with the penguins.˝
˝Oh, well any friend of the penguins' is a friend of mine,˝ the medic didn't really listen, there were other things on his mind right now, he stuck the first needle into his back, the second in his head and the last one, into his chest. The alligator yapping, it was so annoying, but the monitor simply stopped paying attention, he grabbed a few medical supplies, ˝Watch my bag, Ok.˝
Alexander jumped out of the habitat, his pupils narrowed, his senses sharpened. Barry was close, he could taste the frog. The time had come for the tables to turn, for the prey to become the predator. With a scalpel on his back, tied with a wire, he headed towards the reptile house and jumped into bush.
There he was, the amphibian, coming out of the building, an angry expression on his face. 'A stealth attack, pathetic, a face to face encounter, perfect,' the medic jumped out of the bushes and received the undivided attention of Barry. ˝Didn't think you'd be the one resorting to cheating,˝ the amphibian was pointing at the scalpel the lizard was now holding.
Alexander smirked, ˝It's just a statement,˝ and stuck the knife into the ground, ˝Now where were we?˝ The frog jumped at the monitor with an incredible speed, almost invisible to the naked eye, but basically moving in slow motion for the medic. He was "redirected", by the monitor's fist and sent flying at a nearby wall.
˝Caffeine, directly into the brain, you wouldn't believe what that does to your senses, adrenaline, directly into your heart, it makes your body match the mind, and morphine into the spinal cord, not really necessary, but at least I won't feel the lactic acid.˝ Barry picked himself up and charged at the reptile, he was throwing random punches, someone of a small stature, that had always relied on the potency of his venom, couldn't be a skilled fighter.
Alexander wasn't just blocking the attacks, he was making his own move as well, much faster, he was able to land three hits, before having to block another blow. ˝We can both heal, if we keep this up, we'll never finish,˝ the medic was right, it was a pointless fight actually, ˝Then give up, you'll burn through your drugs before I'll tire.˝
The monitor scowled, 'He can heal, but I wonder how well he handles pain,' he jumped back, ˝You know, it is true that you can recover from almost any wound, but just know this, once you're dead, you're dead.˝ Barry's eyes widened and he began looking for the scalpel, from before. It was just a meter away, so he jumped to it and began pulling it, ˝What is this thing, Excalibur? Why won't it come out?˝
˝It's called a decoy,˝ Alexander swung the wire around Barry's right arm, ˝Let me introduce you to the greatest invention of Leonardo Gigli, the gigli saw.˝ The medic alternated between pulling the individual ends of the wire and was quickly cutting through the frog's flesh (google the gigli saw, and you'll see what it is). It all happened so fast, the amphibian had no time to properly react, but suddenly, his arm was off, lying on the floor.
Alexander wiped the wire clean with his tongue and threw it away. ˝You think that'll stop me, I can re-grow limbs just like you,˝ the monitor smirked, ˝Is this your first time? ˝ The frog formed a questioning look, but then it hit him, the pain, the incredible pain. Recovering from individual wounds was simple, but this was worse than death.
The wound was already gone, and the newly formed skin was stretching, the cells ripping under the tension, each adding to another electric shock to the central nervous system. Where no bones were, new began forming. Calcium was being ripped out of other bone cells to form the new limb, the torture was therefore spread through the entire body.
The monitor watched as Barry let out one scream after another, rolling on the ground, holding his newly formed arm, his skin becoming pale, until the process seemed to have stopped. The frog came to a still and was panting; he turned his eyes to the reptile who was malevolently grinning, ˝And now for the Coup de grace.˝
The amphibian's eyes widened as a completely new sensation raced through his new limb, it was the new nerve cells forming. Each neuron was already excited to its max. Cold, warmth, touch and pain, all the senses, overly stimulated.
If you could pit it in a poetic / scientific maner, it would feel something like this: the cold of death, the heat of magma, a paper cut below you finger nail, mercury, running through a wound in an attempt to find a way to the other side, and of course the hand slowly being pulled into a meat grinder.
It was all too much for Barry, his vision became blurry and he finally fell into shock. ˝Took you long enough,˝ commented Alexander and picked him up, ˝You've got to be either a psycho or a masochist to enjoy that, fortunately for me, I'm both,˝ he carried the frog back to his habitat.
Meanwhile, at LaGuardia airport, four birds were leaving the grounds of the place in a toy car, ˝I can't believe how many parking tickets we got, whose bright idea was it to leave the car there anyway?˝ asked the leader. ˝Umm, you were the one driving Skippah,˝ the captain threw the tickets out of the car, ˝Yes, and like I said, the idea was genius. Kowalski, ETA to the zoo.˝
The lieutenant attempted to pull something from behind his back, but the second he let go of the steering wheel, the vehicle began zigzagging on the sidewalk. After realizing what he had done, the genius quickly seized control of the car again. He felt the angry glares of his team mates, ˝Well I can't give you the triple checked numbers on my abacus, but taking in account our velocity, and the distance, we should be seeing zoo gates in about an hour.˝
Back at the zoo, blackness, but then a strong odor causes your chest to expand and your eyes to shoot open. Iris woke up and jumped up, she immediately noticed Alexander by her side. ˝Sleep well?˝ she threw him a glare, but he continued with his grin.
The courtyard was already clearing, with the frog gone, the animals returned to their respective habitats. Only the otter, wildcat, monitor and raven remained. Marlene approached the medic from behind and tapped his shoulder, ˝Umm excuse me, but I just wanted to know what you did with Barry?˝ The reptile turned around and smirked, ˝Nothing… yet. I'll deal with him later. At the moment, you're on top of my priority list, if I had let anything happen to you, Skipper would've kill me.˝
˝Oh come on, you're exaggerating,˝ Alexander raised an eyebrow, ˝Yeah, you're right, he probably would,˝ added the girl.
˝How did you manage to get us up so quickly?˝ the lizard looked over to Sienna.
˝I used the new antibodies that my body formed after coming into contact with Barry's skin and the credits to the waking-up part all go to the smelling salt.˝
Marlene's look fell on Iris, who was still lying on the ground behind Alexander. It looked like she was trying send a message with facial expressions. ˝Oh would you look at the time, gotta go, come Sienna.˝ The wildcat was dragged away, leaving the bird and the reptile behind.
The raven got up and stretched her wings, the lizard turned to her, ˝Well I think I'll be going too, I'm probably gonna hit the gym and I still have to find out where the penguins went, not to mention taking care of…˝ he was cut off, by Iris, who wrapped her wings around him and kissed him. The monitor was taken by surprise, but he just closed his eyes and returned the token of affection, until… Alexander ended the moment. ˝What's wrong? I was just trying to thank you for everything.˝
˝Sorry, but I've got to get you back to my habitat A.S.A.P.,˝ the raven giggled, ˝Looks like somebody's in a rush.˝ The monitor smirked, but quickly shook it off and reformed the serious look, ˝It's not that, It's…˝ Iris collapsed, ˝… my saliva *groan*.˝
The penguins, in the park at the snow cone cart, ˝Enjoy every lick men, we've earned it.˝ Private was looking sad and Skipper stepped closer, ˝Don't feel bad about knocking out the vendor, he'll be back on his feet in no time.˝
˝It's not that, I'm sad because Alexander is still going to be all alone,˝ the captain gave him a pat on the back. ˝There, there soldier, I'm sure if anyone can find a girlfriend, it's that guy, now let's head back and thaw him up.˝
In the reptile house, blackness, but then a strong odor causes your chest to expand and your eyes to shoot open. Iris woke up and jumped up, she immediately noticed Alexander by her side, ˝Wow, déjà vu,˝ she looked around and noticed the habitat, ˝Why am I here?˝
˝Well… you kissed me and I hadn't taken my antibiotics before, so you kinda poisoned yourself,˝ the bird sighed, ˝Of course I did, like I said, I always fall for the wrong guys.˝ She turned to leave the terrarium, but was grabbed from behind. ˝We were in the middle of something back there and I only stopped because of your safety.
Iris turned around to see Alexander's evil grin and like before, she pounced on him, this time, knocking him over, and pulling him into a deep kiss, but the monitor wasn't about to be overpowered by a girl, he grabbed her and rolled around to get on top.
˝SWEET SMOKED SALMON! We're too late, the lizard's already eating that bird!˝ The medic's eyes widened and he quickly turned around to see the penguins, all with shocked expressions.
What happened to Barry, no suggestions needed, I'll tell you soon.
Hint: If you've read my profile page, then you know that I'm a Saw fan
R&R