Georg was in trouble, and he knew it. He and Maria were still barely talking, at least not the kind of talking that counted. They talked about the children and about the household. In short, that talked about things rather than feelings, and they definitely did not talk about themselves. Georg knew that the parents were the foundation of a family, and if they were starting to come apart at the seams it wouldn't be long before the whole family would do so as well.
The irony was that he wanted to talk to her. He wanted that more than anything, but he didn't know how. The few times that they had tried to talk had devolved into arguments. More botched attempts at talking and subsequent arguments were the last thing that they needed.
He knew, in his heart, that she still loved him as much as he loved her, but somehow they had gotten all jumbled up and he no longer knew how to unjumble them. He also felt acutely responsible for the stand-off they seemed to be in. He was the head of this family, and it was his responsibility to maintain it. And he knew that he had done his fair share of yelling and then been just as tightlipped about what was bothering him as Maria had been.
But Georg was a man of action and so he decided to act. He became determined to show Maria just how much he loved her. And maybe, if he managed to show her in a way that left no doubt, it would open the way for them to finally talk the way they needed to.
oooooooooooooooooooooooo
Maria was upstairs in Brigitta's and Louisa's room. Out of all the children, Louisa was probably the one that was having the hardest time adjusting to living in Switzerland. She had been so connected to the villa, so connected to the land. She knew every tree that they had left behind, everything that lived in the river, where to gather spiders, toads and even the occasional snake. Her passion for the outdoors had been slowly shifting from passion to love and even to fondness. But now that it had been taken away from her, there was nothing she loved or wanted more.
She knew there were plenty of good and interesting things in Switzerland, such as goats and their new kittens. There were mountains here as well. And she knew that having her family intact was the more important than anything. So she was trying to act happy, support her parents and encourage the younger children. Sometimes, though, it got to be too much and she just needed a sympathetic shoulder. She was, after all, 14. Maria knew that wasn't an easy age to be. So many things were changing for Louisa, even in the most stable environment. With so many changes in her environment as well, it was that much harder.
And so Maria was lying next to Louisa on her bed, just letting Louisa talk. Maria had her arm around Louisa who in turn had her head on Maria's shoulder.
Maria felt for Louisa just as she felt for all of her children, having to leave the only home they had ever known. She was glad she could still support and care for her children in this way. Even if she didn't know as much as they did about history or Italian, she could still listen to them.
ooooooooooooooooo
Georg had walked outside, lost in thought trying to figure out how to make things right in his marriage again. He was in the backyard listening to the river when his memory took him back to another time when he was looking at a river, wondering how to talk to Maria.
It was the night that they had gotten engaged. Although he had hoped and - a part of him even believed - that she did love him, as he approached her he felt as though his part was pounding out of his chest. After awkward pleasantries she had gotten off the bench they were sharing and walked to the gazebo, as though she needed to put space between them at the mere mention of the Baroness. It was there, in the gazebo, that they had finally come together. That they had declared their love for one another, and they had agreed to marry.
As Georg looked at his new Swiss backyard it occurred to him that something was missing, and he finally knew what he could do to show her just how much he loved her. And maybe, just maybe, it would help them communicate and share their feelings just as it had done in Austria.
The only problem was that it was difficult to keep this gift a surprise. Georg realized that he would never be able to keep it a surprise and so he decided he would be forthcoming about it as soon as he needed to be. More secrets would just hurt them further.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The contractor arrived while Maria was taking Marta and Gretl to school so when she returned home she had no idea who was with Georg in his office, or why he was with anyone. He hadn't met with anyone – other than Tobias – that she knew of. That she knew of. That thought formed like a lead weight in her stomach.
She had to admit to herself that the two of them had become so distant, especially during the day time that he could have been meeting with any number of people without her knowledge.
Maria walked aimlessly into the dining room and sat down in one of the children's chairs. She was so distracted by this turn of events and by the thoughts that followed that she wasn't even sure whose chair it was.
'We were supposed to be partners.' Those were the words repeating themselves over and over again in her head. Oh, she knew he was the head of the family – that had never been in question. But after everything they had come through together in getting to Dorfli there had been an added level of trust and of intimacy. It was the kind of intimacy that had him discuss their immigration issues with her first before going to talk to the Swiss officials. It was that kind of intimacy that originally had her feel comfortable entering his office at any time. And it was that kind of intimacy that, a few short weeks ago, would have had her know who was in his office and why.
'Would have. Had. Past tense.' She thought to herself. The whole house had such an aura of school and education about it. Maria wondered what the children were doing while Georg was meeting with this mysterious person. She decided to find them. That at least would give her something to do. She was finding herself with less and less to do as the days progressed. She approved menus, supervised the housework, and walked Marta and Gretl to and from school. When the afternoon came she was usually surrounded by children again. Playing, settling disputes, listening to their woes, and quite often having conversations with them about what it was taking for them to settle down in Dorfli. But during the daytime she was starting to get bored. Bored didn't suit her, and she was just growing more unhappy.
It didn't take long for Maria to find all five children reading together in the parlor. Kurt took advantage of her entrance to close his book, toss it to his side and fall dramatically back on the couch. "Thank goodness you're here, Mother," he cried, "I don't think Father could have found a more boring book for us to read."
Maria smiled at him. The children were still her greatest joy and she felt happier just being among them. Kurt's eager greeting made her feel as though she were not some misplaced intruder interrupting a hall of concentrated learning and study. She walked up to Kurt and picked up the book. Not recognizing the title she put it back down on the couch and ruffled his hair fondly. "Oh, I don't know about that," she replied. "I'm sure the next book will be just as boring, if not more so."
"It is rather tedious, Mother," Liesl agreed, stroking the kitten that was curled up in her lap. All of the children had put their books down now and the air in the room had somehow become more relaxed.
"Oh why can't he give us something interesting to read, just for once," Louisa moaned in agreement.
"And what would you consider interesting?" Brigitta shot back before Maria could speak. "Animals or boys?"
Louisa made a face at Brigitta – Maria had the distinct sense that if she had not been there Louisa would have actually stuck her tongue out – and threw a pillow at Brigitta.
"Pillow fight!" Kurt cheered.
"Children!" Maria cut in before the situation devolved further. "Let's leave these pillows where they belong. If you must throw something, and I do understand that need, wait until you're outside … or at least in your bedroom.
Brigitta triumphantly tucked the pillow behind her back and Maria could see Louisa mouth the words "I'll get you later." She suppressed a smile, happy that the children were such good companions for each other.
"I'll see what I can do about getting your Father to give you more interesting reading material," Maria continued. "But as boring as it may seem he only has your best interests in mind."
"Speaking of your Father," she added in what she hoped was a light tone, "does anyone know what he's up to now?"
Friedrich, who had been sitting upright the entire time and had been quite obviously trying to convince himself that he had outgrown such childish things as pillow fights, finally spoke. "He said that he had a meeting, that we should read our books quietly (this said with a severe look around the room) and that he would call for us soon because we are to have a special lesson today.
Maria sighed inwardly. Obviously the children were no help at the moment, but of course Georg would be including them in whatever he was up to, and all in the name of education. She also made a note to herself to start working on Friedrich to be a little less intense and severe … and to discuss that with Georg too. She knew it was a carry-over from their trek through the Alps and the enormous responsibility he had carried. She also knew it was because he was trying to consider himself a man, whatever that meant. But he was only almost 15 – far too young in her opinion to feel the need to be so grown up.
Maria suddenly felt awkward. Now that she knew that her children only had a short time to do their reading and that Georg would be coming for them soon for some kind of special lesson she suddenly did feel out of place. 'Could there be a worse feeling than that you don't fit in with your family?' she thought to herself, giving them a weak smile. But before she could figure out how to graciously leave, Georg walked in.
He seemed just as startled to see her as she was to see him. She hadn't expected him so soon. His eyes flickered towards her and then away and Maria decided that her husband looked rather guilty. This did nothing to assuage her discomfort. "Children, would you please come to my office," he said awkwardly. "Just … leave your books here."
Kurt and Louisa visibly cheered up at the thought. But Brigitta, Brigitta could tell something was wrong. As they left the room both Brigitta and Liesl looked back at their Mother who smiled at them with fake encouragement.
'Well,' Maria thought after they had left, 'I suppose that's that. The children are needed and I, obviously, am not.'
She sat down on a chair and picked up a copy of one of the books. It was a history book and did look rather dull. She opened it to start reading it but closed it abruptly. "Oh what's the point," she said to the empty room. Maria knew that she would never be more than an unworldly and comparatively uneducated wife and mother, needed only when the children were acting out or wanted a hug.
She walked to the window and looked out at the backyard, not sure what to do with herself. So Maria stood there, looking out the window at nothing in particular, and with nothing to do.
ooooooooooooooooooooooo
Georg was already kicking himself, metaphorically speaking. A consummate navy man he knew how to carry the façade of being completely in control of a situation and of being completely sure of himself. But he knew that his actions had already backfired.
He had wanted the children to get an understanding of architecture by observing while he created the blueprints for the gazebo with the contractor. Yet he hadn't expected Maria to be in the room with them, and now there were just more secrets and less communication between them. 'What was I supposed to do?' he asked himself, but there was no answer.
The children, on the other hand, loved the idea of a new gazebo and were all fascinated to see how the foundation would be created, how the walls would support the roof, and how all of the angles would play off each other.
As homework he gave them the assignment of drawing up their own blueprints. He didn't expect any of them to create a viable blueprint, which is why he was still working with the contractor, but if nothing else it was an assignment of art and mathematics.
He briefly considered telling them all to keep it a surprise, but decided there were enough secrets, enough surprises.
The contractor agreed that he and his men would arrive the very next day to begin construction.
oooooooooooooooooooooo
Maria had sat for hours, looking out the window. The days were getting shorter. And she could see the sun going down.
She walked into town to pick up her two youngest who were full of tales of the latest school antics.
Gretl, for her part, had met a schoolmate who had a pet bunny and suddenly wanted one of her own.
"I think that four kittens are enough right now," Maria said distractedly. "We wouldn't want them to think you don't love them anymore, or that you prefer a bunny."
She didn't notice Gretl sticking out her lower lip in an exaggerated pout. And Gretl, realizing she wasn't getting any attention, stopped pouting.
The threesome arrived home where Marta and Gretl hurried to the kitchen to get a snack and hopefully find a kitten. Maria wandered back into the parlor, but before she got there she literally ran into Friedrich. He was hurrying so quickly back to his room that he almost trampled his mother.
Maria caught him around the shoulders while Friedrich turned slightly red, embarrassed to be caught running so childishly. "Slow down there, my older son," Maria said gently. He had gotten so tall. When had he gotten so tall? A wave of maternal love for this boy-man crashed over her. "Whatever seems so important, I promise you there is still plenty of time."
'Plenty of time for you to grow up,' she added to herself, 'so please stop rushing.' She wanted to hug him but thought he'd be even more embarrassed.
"Yes Mother, he agreed fondly and respectfully. But then he couldn't contain his excitement. "It's just that we're building a new gazebo for the backyard and we met with the contractor and learned all about architecture and now I'm off to design my own gazebo and see if it's any good. Architecture is so fascinating! I never knew that so much work went into making sure a gazebo would stand upright. And just imagine how much work goes into designing a house…
But Maria had stopped listening. So Georg was building a new gazebo and saw fit to include the children but not her. She felt as though an icy hand was squeezing her heart.
She slowly returned to the present moment where Friedrich was still talking excitedly about architecture. "Well then you'd better run along and design the best gazebo anyone has ever seen," she said to him with a smile.
Friedrich beamed at her. "Yes, Mother," he agreed, and hurried away.
ooooooooooooooooooooo
Later that evening, dinner was a quiet affair for both Georg and Maria. At opposite ends of the table they could barely look at each other. Or rather, Maria could barely look at Georg and Georg could barely take his eyes off of Maria. How wondered how had he let things get to this state.
The children were animated enough, talking about the gazebo. Marta and Gretl were fascinated and excited by the process, and thoroughly happy that they were going to have a new gazebo. The only people who noticed the tension between their parents were Liesl and Brigitta. But they didn't have time to let that worry fester because suddenly Georg burst out with "Why is this cat under my feet?" and he got up from the table – unheard of until they were all finished eating – and stormed into the kitchen where he found Anna.
"In the future, kindly remember that these … kittens are not allowed in the dining room." He had suppressed a bad word, but only barely.
"Yes, Sir," Anna agreed, with obvious embarrassment and agitation.
She started to hurry into the dining room to catch the offending cat, but Georg stopped her. "Well don't get it now! I don't want you and the cat crawling around on all fours while we are eating dinner. Just remember to close the doors before we eat and to make sure that all animals are out of the room before you close the doors."
"Yes, Sir," Anna agreed again, looking down.
He stalked back into the dining room and met an icy gaze from his wife. She didn't approve of his being hard on the servants. But damn it, how was a man supposed to eat with a cat brushing up against his legs?
Dinner ended in uncomfortable silence, as did dessert. Louisa subtly tried to get the kitten to come over to her, but she insisted on staying next to Georg and rubbing up against his legs the entire time.
oooooooooooooooo
Later that evening the children were all in their rooms, either sleeping or working on homework, depending on their age. Georg was in his office looking out at the backyard and the river that flowed across the edge of it.
This day had gone all wrong yet again. First the secrecy around the gazebo, and then the cat at dinner. All wrong again.
As he continued to look out the window he saw a familiar, slender figure walk outside and down to the river.
He watched her for a few minutes, enthralled. She was so graceful, so beautiful. Suddenly he decided to join her outside. He needed to make things right again. He didn't know how, but it certainly wasn't going to happen with him in the house and her outside. And so, with his heart beating out of his chest once more, he walked out to join his wife.