All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

not beta'd

storyline - Malicious (previously "vacuum")

prompt - collar

The wind has picked up. Adrenaline is still surging through my veins and it makes me shake like a junkie coming down off a high.

The paramedics arrive and take over; one of them pats my shoulder before helping his partner get you on to a stretcher. Your hand slips from mine. I didn't even realize I'd been holding it.

The salt water had washed your blood away, but now that we've been on shore a while there's red running down your face. I hate blood. How hard did you hit that rock?

The rain is pelting down now. I'm vaguely surprised when the crowd remains, watching you receive more medical care before being carried away. Usually people only stick around for the exciting parts… but people know us, I guess.

Jacob pulls me to my feet and hugs me. I'm covered in sand, but he doesn't care.

"You okay?"

I nod.

He gets a towel from somewhere and wraps me in it. "You did good. That was amazing, B."

I nod again, unable to rip my eyes away from you. Your eyes are sort of rolling around but then they focus on me. We stare at each other for a long time.

It's hard to tell, because you're wet, but it almost looks like you're crying.

Every time I close my eyes, I see myself losing you.

Or never finding you at all.

There are a million ways today could have turned out, and it's hard not to dwell on the worst case scenarios.

Down the beach, a bonfire roars. The mood tonight is more somber than usual; I have a feeling everyone's still caught up on today and how you almost died. For the most part they're leaving me alone, sensing I need some space.

I'm not feeling very celebratory. I should be, but I'm not; instead I'm caught in this weird freak out of what-if. If anything, I was reminded today of how vast things are: the ocean, life. Makes other things, like high school drama, seem petty and small.

Alice and Rose appear out of the darkness and sit on either side of me, bringing body heat and chocolate.

"Want a piece?" asks Alice, folding a piece of Snickers in to my hand.

I eat it, nudging her with my thigh in gratitude. "Thanks, babe."

For awhile we sit in silence, listening to the soft laughter of our friends and the waves breaking off shore. It's a familiar sound, and it grieves me tonight. I've always loved the water, but I'm a little wary of it right now. I shiver and tug at my jacket's collar, trying to shield myself from the wind.

"You okay?" Alice asks eventually.

I shrug, glancing at Rose. In the moonlight, her face is pale, and it reminds me of how she looked today at the beach. Her eyes meet mine and she nods slightly; she was there, she understands.

"We train for this, so it's inevitable," I say. "And it's not like I haven't done rescues before…"

"But not like this," Rose whispers. She rubs my back. Tough as nails Rose, humbled by a near-drowning.

I shake my head. "No. Not like this."

"They released him a couple of hours ago," Alice says. "Into his father's care. He's okay, you know. Because of you."

She takes my hand. It's kind of sticky because of the chocolate, but it's nice.

You are okay, on the outside anyway. I hear you got stitches and a nice supply of pain meds. I tell myself I won't visit you, because it would feel awkward and forced.

But we both know I will.

hee! i love hearing the commentary on edward's maybe-douchebaggery. for reals.

this will continue to alternate between the past and present and things will continue to be revealed; i think it's pretty clear but just ask me if you have questions. everyone seems like they're okay with it so far, though.

thank you, thank you for the reviews. feels like we're all in this together! *cue kumbaya*