HEY GUYS! SO, I'VE HEARD MANY OF YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THIS STORY? IS IT POSSIBLE? WITH ME, ANYTHING IS! (HA-HA) ANYWAYS, I WORKED HARD ON THIS CHAPTER SO PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU AGREE WITH ME! I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT! PLEASE ENJOY THE EIGHT CHAPTER OF WHAT AN ASSHOLE...
*A Special Thank You To My Beta Reader- superfresh *
WHAT AN ASSHOLE-CHAPTER 8
ELI'S PERSPECTIVE
I grinned happily slipping Clare's asthma pump into my right pocket.
"Eli! Eli wait up! You have to give it back to her!" Adam screeched trying to catch up with me as I walked at a quick pace to my car.
He was out of breath, leaning his hand against Morty, wheezing uncontrollably.
"Geez Adam, relax, nothing bad is going to happen," I told him smirking and throwing my book bag into my car through the driver's window.
Adam glared at me. He actually glared at me, for the first time ever. It seemed as if he cared about Clare a little too much. As if he like liked her.
"What's the worst that can happen?" I asked him smirking.
His eyes bulged and he said, "Oh I don't know Eli, she might need to use it! She could be in gym, running, and then have an asthma attack and not have a pump!"
"If she's going to have an asthma attack, then the only person who can help her will be me. Not Jake, not Alli, not you, me." I hissed at him, noticing that he was probably cursing me out in his head to make himself feel better.
"Why are you doing this to her? You're such a self centered prick! If anything happens to her, it's on your fucking head Goldsworthy," he growled, storming away from me like a baby.
Ignoring your problems, that's exactly how you should deal with them, asshole.
I rolled my eyes, looking at my car, and smiled watching Clare walk out of school all giggly and happy.
Her positive attitude kind of sickened me, but the beautiful way she laughed, made her chest rise and sink uneasily. She was walking slowly trying to catch her breath, as I leaned against my car, shoving my hands in my pocket, and feeling the asthma pump brush against my fingertips.
I squinted my eyes, trying to get a better look at her legs. But, with my fucking luck, that fucking douche was standing right in the way.
Jake.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, and kissed her on the cheek. Her face wasn't calm, or content, like it was when I kissed her. Clare's facial expressions had told me that she was uncomfortable with him touching her. Her face showed a state of alarm.
I didn't move, just stood my ground firmly staring at him, making sure he didn't go any further.
He whispered something in her ear, and she glanced at him, shaking her head.
What the fuck was he asking her?
I breathed out, sighing, and trying to relax. Doing breathing exercises to try and clear my head always helped me when something bothered me. But, since I liked Clare, it was hard to get her out of my head. When we "played" around with each other and bickered, it was what could distract me from the world. Clare takes me to a whole different universe sometimes, and in that universe, I'm actually happy.
In that universe I never make mistakes, I never make people resent me, and Clare and I are dating.
Some fucking universe.
I gripped the asthma pump in aggravation, and immediately let it go not wanting to break it.
He was such a fuck.
There was no other way to describe Jake. He wouldn't touch her when I wasn't around, but he would make sure he touched her when I was watching.
Jake tries to make me jealous. Oh that fuck, he thinks he's hot shit.
Alright Jakey boy, what's going to happen when you're by her side and she can't breathe and you can't find her asthma pump?
That's what I fucking thought...I'll be the one to save her.
I smirked, and rolled my eyes opening my car door and slamming it behind me.
My hand wouldn't let me put the keys in the ignition, my feet wouldn't let me press on the gas, my mind wouldn't think of anything besides Clare. Was this what it felt like to actually have feelings for a girl?
CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE
"Yeah, he kissed me on my neck, it was so weird," I told Alli as I sipped my coffee, describing to her the incident I had with Jake outside of school earlier today.
Ali giggled and said, "Oh Clare, he was just trying to get your attention in a weird, seductive, cute, creepy kind of way."
"But, we've only known each other for a week and he makes me feel..." my sentence trailed off not knowing how to describe the way Jake made me feel.
When Eli and I kissed, he made me feel comfortable, at ease, and not alarmed. When Jake touched me, it was a nice gesture and it made me feel wanted, but, it was too much too soon. He's so protective and the thing is, we aren't even dating.
Another bad thing was, he was always around.
"Uncomfortable?" Alli asked breaking me out of my trance.
I tilted my head from side to side trying to think of a word that described how Jake made me feel.
"Clare, if he makes you feel uncomfortable you should tell him because then he might think it's okay to do other things too if you don't stop him now," Alli told me sipping her water and glancing at me, waiting for me to respond.
I gulped nervously, and my heart raced just thinking about letting Jake go too far.
"Alli we aren't even dating, he would never think-," I stopped talking knowing Jake could take it farther than I would want him to.
Alli glanced at me and then asked, "What ever happened between you and Eli? Didn't he kiss you or something?"
I nodded, and crossed my arms, "Yeah, but I can't be with him."
"Why not? If you like him and he likes you, what's the problem?" She asked me while looking behind me, waving someone over.
I turned around, and saw Drew approach her. I took that as a sign to get up and leave. I grabbed my bag, and Alli said, "No, stay!"
"No it's fine Alli, I don't want to be a third wheel, I'll text you when I get home," I told her, leaving quickly knowing she didn't really want to deal with my problems and just wanted to spend time with Drew. I didn't really mind, because I just wanted to go home and sleep.
I pulled my iPod out of my bag, and placed the headphones in my ears, smiling as I blasted my favorite song.
"Are you brave enough to let me see ya peacock!" I screamed laughing uncontrollably, noticing that I had caused several heads to turn and glare awkwardly at me.
Oh screw them, I'm living my life and not giving a fuck.
Was it a crime to not want to be "normal" these days?
THE NEXT DAY
"Why are your fingernails...blue?" Jake asked me examining my hand that lay limp in his hand.
I pulled my hand out of his view, feeling embarrassed. I hate when people point out your problems, it makes me want to crawl in a whole and hide.
The worst feeling in the world is having someone innocently criticize you and then you trying to act like it doesn't bother you, even though deep inside it's eating away at you slowly.
"I don't know," I mumbled looking down at my hand and just ignoring it.
Jake smiled and said, "It's a nice day out today."
I nodded, "Yeah, beautiful."
Jake glanced at me and then back at the sun gleaming down on us. As we walked to school together, I couldn't stop thinking about Eli. Whenever I saw Jake, he would remind me of Eli, and I didn't know why.
I haven't heard from Eli in so long.
He hasn't even bothered me with an annoying or sarcastic remark in two days.
Was he up to something?
Eli must be planning something big.
Well, I'm ready for anything.
"Are you okay? You seem very deep in thought," Jake spoke breaking me out of my stupor.
I gulped and nodded, remaining silent.
Sometimes, I wondered if Jake and I were on the same page.
Jake gripped my hand gently as we approached the doors of Degrassi. He wouldn't hold my hand unless we were in school, which also made me question this "thing" we had going on.
I pulled my hand away and he asked, "Okay, do I smell or something? What's up with you today?"
He stared at me, his innocent eyes waiting impatiently for my answer. Honestly, nothing was really up, I just had my mind on other things. Things like...Eli. I smiled, glaring at the ground and wishing that when I'd look up I'd see Eli and not Jake.
Was I starting to question if Jake was the right guy for me?
Yes, he got me through the rumors—he didn't believe any of them, and especially didn't laugh at me when some random person yelled something along the lines of "Whore," when we were walking down the halls together—but something felt off.
"Nothing's wrong, just tired," I told him right before he pecked me on the cheek and said, "I'll see you in math. I have to go to my locker before class."
"Alright," I said glancing around me trying to remember where I was.
When I was looking around, my eyes clashed with green eyes.
"Morning," Eli said standing his ground firmly, gripping his book bag strap tightly with his infamous smirk plastered across his face.
I smiled and looked at him, my eyes lightening, and cheeks turning rosy red, "Morning."
He nodded and walked away, not saying another word. He didn't try to start a fight with me, mention our kiss, or bring up any rumors. He didn't mention...well, anything.
This made my heart pick up it's pace and with each passing second my chest felt as if it was tightening.
I covered my heart, and breathed in and out slowly.
"It's alright Clare, don't worry, you'll be fine," I whispered to myself looking up and fixing my posture walking down the hall to first period...
ELI'S PERSPECTIVE
"Please give it back to her," Adam whined as I threw on my gym shirt walking out of the locker room.
I sighed, "I have it in my shorts pocket, if she needs it, I'll give it to her."
I wouldn't let her die if she was having an asthma attack. Fuck, I might be a dick, but I'm not a heartless person who kills people, especially not the girl I like.
Or am I?
Just kidding, just kidding.
When Adam and I walked into gym, I glanced at Clare who was stretching across the room. I watched as she lifted her arm across her chest, and smiled talking to Alli.
I think not having Jake in the same gym class as us really took the weight of competition off of my shoulders. When Jake was around, I had this intense feeling that I had to compete with this kid for Clare's attention.
"What are you going to do?" Adam asked me.
I glanced at him and said, "Make small talk."
My feet moved me towards her even though my head was screaming at me to stop and not intervene with a girl who probably doesn't even like me anymore after all the shit I did to her.
But, when I thought about it, what did I have to lose?
"H-how are you?" I asked fumbling my words like a dipshit.
She smiled and said, "Alright feeling a bit light headed."
Oh fuck.
Light headed.
My eyes averted down to her nails, and they were a tint of blue.
Blue fingernails, light headed, both symptoms of an asthma attack.
"Alright everybody! Line up, we're doing suicides!" Coach Armstrong yelled.
Fucking great.
Really God? Do you really want to screw me that hard in the ass today?
Running will definitely give her an asthma attack.
My heart raced and I asked, "Can I run next to you?"
"Why? Are you afraid you're going to pass out?" Clare asked nudging my elbow playfully.
I want to say, "No, I'm afraid you're going to fucking pass out."
But instead, I just smirked.
Clare and I, along with everyone else in the class, lined up for suicides.
I've never felt this nervous about running before in my life.
I watched as Fitz stood next to Clare, smiling at her.
"Hey," Fitz said as the whistle blew and then we were off. I breathed in and out, pacing myself as the tape increased going faster and faster as the levels got higher and higher.
Why wasn't Clare stopping yet?
By the time we reached eighty five, I still remained by her side. Clare and I were the only one's running by this time, and I wasn't going to leave her side because I was so afraid that she would pass out, and fall, cracking her head in the process.
With my luck, that would happen.
"Not giving up?" Clare wheezed asking.
I shook my head, gulping, clearing my dry throat.
When we reached 95 suicides, the gym class clapped, knowing we had reached the end together. Clare walked side by side with me and she said, "I um, I-."
Oh fuck.
She held her hand over her head and said, "I, I think I, I um."
"What's wrong?" I asked her.
She sighed, "I need to sit."
"I can't really—I can't see straight," she whispered as she leaned over to one side, clashing into me. All heads turned when her body fell into my arms.
My heart raced, not knowing what to do.
"Coach! Coach! She fainted! Clare fainted!" Fitz screamed drawing attention to everyone as I lowered her down to the ground.
I gulped and the Coach screamed, "Everyone get out of the way!"
He pushed through people and kneeled down next to her, "Clare, Clare, can you hear me?"
Coach Armstrong touched her face, moving it from side to side, and she wasn't opening her eyes.
I sat behind her, leaning her against my back.
Coach tried to wake her, and I said, "Obviously she isn't fucking awake! Go get help!"
He ignored my cursing, and got up running, out through the gym doors.
Everyone stared, whispering to each other, as I looked at Clare.
"Come on Clare, wake up, wake up," I whispered my voice going hoarse and tears dripping from my eyes.
I moved my two fingers over her vein, and felt no pulse.
"Does anyone know how to do CPR?" I asked everyone in the gym and Fitz raised his hand.
I sighed, "No seriously, this isn't a time to joke the fuck around. Do you or don't you?"
He nodded and said, "I took a lifeguarding class, I know what to do."
At this moment, I totally regretted not taking that CPR class last summer. Instead of doing that, I stayed in my nice air conditioned room, reading comics, and surfing the web. Now, at this very second, I was kicking myself for it.
Fitz ripped Clare out of my arms and laid her flat on her back, on the ground.
My heart raced, looking down at Clare's lifeless body.
I did this to her.
He tilted her head back, and pinched her nose, breathing two heavy breathes into her mouth.
Tears streamed down my face, my heart racing, my fingers twiddling nervously, my mind thinking guilty thoughts, and my legs feeling like jello. This was the worst thing I could have ever done.
Adam was right, I pushed it too far this time.
"Please Clare...please wake up," I whispered wondering where the fuck the coach was when you needed him.
Why wasn't help coming?
I glared down at Clare and Fitz, as he pressed his lips to hers, breathing into her mouth.
I couldn't see Clare's face, so I moved to her side and noticed…
she was kissing him back.
Her lips were locked with his, and her hand moved up to the side of his face.
"Clare?" I asked wiping tears from my face.
Fitz pulled away, smiling, and Clare sat up.
They all started to laugh at me.
Was this some sort of sick joke?
"Faking a death, real funny," I whispered.
Everyone around us started laughing as I darted through the gym doors, and then through the Degrassi doors, running the whole way.
I didn't turn back once, I didn't look back.
She made a fool out of me.
Now, I finally knew how I always made Clare feel.
And, the feeling...sucked.
END OF CHAPTER 8
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Cliffhanger Girl
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