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WHAT AN ASSHOLE-CHAPTER 10

CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE

I was taken by surprise when Jake was ripped away from me and was replaced by Fitz.

I smiled up at Fitz gratefully and in return he just nodded and smiled, "Anytime."

I sighed running away from Jake as Fitz held him in a tight grip.

"Eli! Wait!" I screeched, noticing he was sitting in his hearse with his head down on the steering wheel. I walked slowly to his car, and shivered as the wind picked up. I glanced through the window and saw Eli, noticing that he was crying.

He finally...cracked.

He opened the door, as I backed away a little to clear the way, and he placed his feet on the ground.

Eli looked up at me, tears streaming down his face, and his chest heaving. I remember what it was like to feel like he does right now. I remember the exact feeling. I looked down at him, shaking my head and started to say, "I'm so-.

He cut me off, holding his hand up and said, "Save it Clare. I don't want to hear anything anymore, I understand that you just want to be left alone, and that's what you're going to get."

"Eli n-," he wouldn't let me finish a sentence as he continued, "Stop trying to make me feel better Clare. All this shit that happened, I had it coming. Just, please let's really end this. Each time we talk to each other or even exchange eye contact it turns into a fight. I don't want to fight this when obviously Jake clearly comes first each time."

I pulled Eli up off his seat by the collar of his jacket, and his eye's bulged.

"Eli, just listen to me for two minutes," I growled as his eyes stared into my own.

He shook his head, "I'm done listening Clare."

Eli forcibly pushed me away, causing me to fall straight on my back, and stare up at him, emotionless. I couldn't believe what he had just done to me.

My mouth opened agape. I tried to speak, but remained silent.

"How could you do this to me?" I whispered, tears falling from my face.

Eli smirked at me and said, "I'll always be here Clare, and the reason is…to push you down."

I gulped, my eyes blinking vigorously trying to clear my vision, and I watched as Eli slammed his car door and drove off. I couldn't get up, I couldn't move, I didn't want to. I just wanted to sit in this parking lot, on the floor, without anyone to help me up.

To be honest, without Eli, there is no getting back up...

ADAM'S PERSPECTIVE

As soon as I saw Fitz holding Jake in a headlock, I knew right then and there that something was wrong.

I heard a screech of a car and immediately averted my eyes to the parking lot. There I saw Clare sitting on the ground sobbing.

Eli.

My heart raced as I ran to Clare.

I looked down at her, as she stared aimlessly at the ground, crying.

To look at my best friend lying on the ground, crying hysterically over Eli, just broke me down into little pieces. And the worst part was, I couldn't do anything to fix it. I kneeled down slowly next to her and gulped nervously not wanting to say the wrong thing.

"H-he's really gone, I lost him," Clare whispered looking at me.

I sighed, my hands turning to fists, and I said, "Clare you don't need this. You don't need him."

She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into her grip, and I listened to her sob in my ear.

As she cried hysterically her small body shook uncontrollably in my arms, and I couldn't stop her. I loved Eli, he was my best friend, but pushing Clare away like this wasn't going to help either of them. Once I was done with Clare, I would go talk to Eli because he has officially taken it way too far.

Clare was and will always be like a little sister to me. I will always stand up for her and defend her no matter what. Clare was always there for me when I needed her and right now, she needed me.

A tear shed from my eyes as I listened intently, trying my best to translate Clare's slurred words in my ear, "I need him. I n-need him. I need him Adam, oh god I need him."

She whispered, "I need him," in my ear so many times that I had lost count after twenty.

I rubbed her back with my hand, trying to calm her down, like an uncontrollable bawling baby. Except this baby had a broken heart.

I kept holding Clare, not wanting to let her go because I felt like if I did she would get hurt again.

"It's alright Clare, everything's going to be okay," I whispered in her ear, but she only sobbed louder at my feeble attempt to make her feel better.

I took that as a signal to shut up, and tried to help her up off the parking lot floor. If I didn't she would probably stay here, and cry in the same spot forever. My hands moved to her sides, as I tried to help her stand.

"Come on Clare, let me take you home," I whispered gently, getting her up off the floor, as she kept crying.

I walked her to my car, and sat her in the passenger seat.

When I glanced over Clare, I saw Jake walking our way and I mentally gave him the finger.

Come on man, seriously? Why won't you just give up.

"Don't move," I ordered to Clare as I closed the door and locked it, rushing around to the other side of the car trying to block Clare's view of Jake.

I put a hand up and said, "Stop right there."

"Is she okay? What did he do to her?" He asked alarmed, trying to look over my shoulder to see her crying.

I sighed, placing my hand over my forehead in frustration, "Listen Jake. I know you're probably a good guy and you mean well, but right now Clare and Eli are going through something that you will never understand. Honestly, I don't even understand it. But, Clare has a lot going on right now, and she doesn't need to add a psycho stalker boyfriend to the list too. Just, do us all a favor and don't talk to Clare until she's stable and I say you can."

"What, are you her fucking bodyguard?" He asked me.

I smiled and said, "No, I'm not the bodyguard….but they are."

Jake turned around to see Drew, Bruce, and Fitz all standing in size order.

"I'm just the support system," I told him smiling.

Jake sighed and said, "Tell Clare I'll see her tomorrow night on our date."

I laughed pathetically and said, "I thought Eli was joking about you, but you really are fucking clueless. Jake, she does not need you. You need to back the fuck up, about five hundred billion feet."

Jake grinned at me and said, "We'll see about that."

I stroked my fingers through my hair, and remained silent. I growled turning away from Jake, and opened my car door ignoring his comments.

When I slammed my foot on the accelerator, I watched as Clare held her knees up to her chest, and cried into her lap. Her chest rose unevenly, as tears shed from her eyes. I hated seeing a girl cry, or anybody cry for that matter.

As soon as I reached Clare's house, I stopped the car, and glanced at her.

She lifted her head and when I was about to say something to comfort her, she gripped the car door handle, and stormed out running into her house...

ELI'S PERSPECTIVE

"What the fuck is wrong with you Eli? You fucking pushed her on the ground! I really want to know what the fuck was going through your mind when you pushed the girl that you supposedly love so much to the floor!" Adam screamed at me.

I deserved this.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Eli? Honestly! I held her in my arms, while she bawled her eyes out in the parking lot over you! Why are you doing this to her?" Adam screamed at me.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Because I can Adam! Because I can!"

"I can get away with anything! I'm Eli fucking Goldsworthy! I'm the one that plays pranks on innocent people, the life ruiner, the destroyer. I'm known for what I do for a reason Adam! I'm not meant to be happy with Clare, she's just a distraction! What did you expect? That Clare and I would be together and I would change? I can't change who I am!" I screamed at him causing people who were walking around my neighborhood to turn their heads and stare.

Adam gulped, "That's not a good enough reason Eli. If you like her than why are you doing this to her? Why are you putting her through this? Why are you pushing her away?"

"I don't know Adam! I don't fucking know anymore, I don't know what I'm doing. I saw her in the hallway kissing Jake, and I just lost it," I whispered remembering Jake's lips pressing against Clare's as she kissed him back.

"Eli you're jealous, I get it, but that's no reason to make her cry like that," he said trying to reason with me.

I shook my head, "It's the only way to communicate with her now. The only way I can grab her attention is by hurting her. And, if that's what I have to do to get her fucking attention, than so be it."

Adam screamed at me, telling me how wrong I was, and how stupid I was being. How being with her and treating her right was enough to grab her attention and how I didn't have to be an asshole to do it. But, in my defense, I wasn't listening.

I walked into my house, slammed the door shut, and slowly dragged my feet up the stairs as tears fell uncontrollably from my eyes...

CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE

I signed onto Facebook and my eyes searched the news feed, trying to find a way to distract myself.

Eli's status had drawn me in at the speed of light.

Eli: Clare Edwards "Get up, stand up, Stand up for your rights. Get up, stand up, Don't give up the fight." -Bob Marley

What the hell was he talking about? Has Eli finally gone insane?

I think so, because I had no idea what he was talking about.

First, he pushes me down in the parking lot, basically telling me that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, and now he's all wah wah don't give up the fight.

Oh fuck this shit, why sit here and debate what the hell this means when I can just go to his house and confront him?

ELI'S PERSPECTIVE

Who the fuck is banging on my door now?

"I swear to god Ada-," assuming it was Adam at my door wanting me to go to Clare's house.

I stood my ground, glaring at the broken girl on my doorstep.

"Clare, what are you doing here?" I asked her harshly.

She looked up at me, remaining silent, twiddling with her fingers, and looking down at the concrete. Just seeing Clare like this made me want to crawl into a corner and die. I felt horrible for what I did to her, and as much as I wanted to apologize, I couldn't.

"I need to talk to you," she whispered.

I gulped, my throat dry, and smirked looking down at the floor and shaking my head in the process.

"Clare, I don't know how else to keep you away," I whispered.

She looked up at me and said, "I just want to get two things cleared up here and then I'll leave and never talk to you ever again. First of all, what the fuck did you mean on Facebook? And second, do you...do you still like me?"

These two questions were the hardest I've ever had to answer in my entire life. And I just took the SATs, so that's saying a lot.

I wasn't going to lie to her, but I sure as hell wasn't going to tell her my true feelings.

My eyes averted to her mouth, her lips were perfectly aligned as she bit down on her bottom one. When I saw a tear spill over her lip, I snapped out of my trance.

Come on Eli, keep your shit together.

"You came all the way over here just to ask me what the fuck I put on Facebook? Clare, I'm not who you think I am. I am an asshole Clare. I do things that assholes do. And, you know what? I'm pretty fucking good at it too so I'm not planning on changing anytime soon," I told her just trying to hurt her as much as possible.

Clare smiled and said, "It doesn't bother me."

"You know I als-," I immediately stopped what I was saying and asked, "What did you say?"

Clare smiled, wiping her tears, and said, "You, being an asshole, treating me like shit, I don't care anymore Eli. It's just, ever since we kissed, I have this feeling every time I see you and it drives me crazy. I don't know what to do and it scares me. I just want to know if you feel the same way, that's all."

I tried to find the words to speak. I felt the same exact way as her, yet something inside me wouldn't allow me to tell her that.

"I'm sorry...I led you on," I whispered.

She growled, "Why do you have to be so fucking difficult Eli? Why?"

I watched as Clare marched off my doorstep, and made her way down the street.

I closed the door with a shaky hand, and sighed when it locked shut. Was it strange that when I got Clare mad and flustered it turned me on? Was it strange that when Clare and I fought, it felt like the best conversation I've ever had in my life? Was it weird that...right now I wanted to go chase after her?

The answer to all of those questions is yes.

CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE

Forget about Eli, Forget about him.

My head shot up, looking at Jake, who stood in front of my locker, holding a rose.

I smiled, and then frowned remembering what he did yesterday to me.

"Clare, listen, I'm really sorry about yesterday okay? It was an impulse, I just, I didn't want you to go to him. I thought he was going to hurt you," he said with an honest tone of voice.

I sighed and said, "Jake, I'll forgive you if you promise me that you'll let up a bit. I just can't take the whole always around me, breathing down my neck thing. It's suffocating."

"I promise! I promise! Just, please, give me a second chance on our date tonight," he said staring at me with those blue eyes.

I nodded, "Okay."

Jake handed me the rose, I breathed in the scent, and smiled.

"Thanks Jake," I said wrapping my arms around him and breathing out a sigh of relief.

When I let go of Jake, I said, "I'll see you later, first period calls."

I gripped my bag, gently holding the rose in my right hand, and walked down the hallway. I slowly watched as couple's streamed down the hallway. There were so many of them, all happy, chatting away with the person that they love.

I wish I could be like those couples. All I want is someone who's sarcastic, always a smile on his face, and who holds my hand when I'm scared. But too bad what I want is only real in a fantasy world.

When I turned the corner, I banged into someone, and my textbook fell right onto the rose.

I sniffled, and looked up at Eli.

He smirked and said, "On the floor again Edwards, ya know one day I might just take you up on that offer."

I remained on the floor, looking down at the broken rose, and I watched Eli walk away only to turn his head and flash me a smile.

My confusion turned into a full on grin, as I breathed out, the old Eli was back.

Is that good thing, or a bad thing?

In my book, this was the best thing that could ever happen to me.

Eli is the guy in my fantasy world.

END OF CHAPTER 10

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