HEY GUYS! SOOO MANY REVIEWS! I LOVED THEM ALL, YOU GUYS ARE LIKE...AMAZING! I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER AND YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY WANT TO KILL ME BY THE TIME THIS CHAPTER IS OVER...SO I'M GOING TO STOP TALKING NOW AND PLEASE ENJOY CHAPTER ELEVEN OF WHAT AN ASSHOLE...

Thanks Again To My Beta Reader Who Edited This Chapter On Her Blackberry AND Almost Went Cross Eyed For You Guys So You BETTER Like This Chapter (ha-ha) - superfresh : )

WHAT AN ASSHOLE-CHAPTER 11

ELI'S PERSPECTIVE

"Okay, okay, oh I remember another one! How are women and tornadoes alike?" I asked my friends who were still trying to recover my last joke.

Fitz pinned his eyebrows together, thinking hard, and I smirked, "Give up?"

They all nodded and I almost burst out laughing just by thinking of the answer, "They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave."

I barely got the joke out before I started laughing hysterically. I almost fell on the ground, I was laughing so hard.

"O-o-oh fuck, that's enough, I can't-I can't," Fitz breathed out between laughs, gripping his stomach with his hands.

Once I pulled myself together I spotted Clare walking towards me. The guys all noticed and started walking away while Fitz screamed, "Tornado walking!"

I glared at him, trying to make him shut the hell up, but instead he yelled, "Love you too Eli!"

"Good morning Clare," I said shoving my hands in my pockets, looking at the closeness of our bodies.

Clare inched closer to me, causing me to gasp at our close proximity, but I stood my ground.

She curled a piece of my jet black hair behind my right ear and asked, "Telling another one of your jokes Elijah?"

I nodded, "Yeah, want to hear another one?"

She nodded and said, "Why not."

"Okay, so let's play a game called "Magic," I told her smirking. Hopefully she wouldn't actually know a game named Magic...

"What's that?" She asked pulling her hand down from the side of my face.

Perfect.

She stood there waiting for a serious answer.

Too bad, she wasn't getting one.

"Well, we go back to my house, we fuck, and then you disappear," I told her smirking as her mouth went agape and I walked past her, gently bumping into her shoulder.

I sighed contently, knowing that things between Clare and I were finally back to normal.

Thank God.

I missed this more than I missed my dead hamster Barnstable from when I was five. And that hamster was like my best friend...(I never really had friends until I got to High School). But hey, that's a whole different story.

"Hey! That wasn't funny!" Clare giggled gripping my arm and I asked, "Oh yeah? Then why am I laughing?"

She giggled as I tickled her and she screamed, "Eli stop it! Eli!"

When my fingers came in contact with her smooth side, I wanted to keep my hands in that position forever. I didn't know why, but I just didn't want to let go. This could be my new sick addiction, touching Clare. Hope she doesn't mind. Oh well, I don't give a fuck.

I finally stopped tormenting her when she bumped into someone.

Jake.

Fuck, either this kid has really good timing or I have really bad timing.

Either way, I'm the one fucked in the ass.

"Jake, oh sorry," she told him her face instantly turning from blush red to sheet white.

I love how the second this kid shows up, Clare becomes all tense and on edge. Like, why the fuck is she with him then? I make her happy, he makes her worked up and uncomfortable.

Seriously, who would you pick Jake or me?

That's a rhetorical question, you don't have to answer that because we both know the answer would be me.

Jake stared Clare down, and I smirked, "I'll leave you two alone."

"No, Eli, wait!" She then turned to Jake, "I have first period with him, so I'll see you later?"

I have never heard Clare lie before, and for her to lie means that she really didn't want to spend time with Jake. Once Jake leaves I'm going to get the low down on this kid from Clare because it takes a really fucking annoying person to get Saint Clare to practically flip them off.

My eyes bulged as Jake pulled her into his arms, and forcefully kissed her on the lips right in front of me.

I closed my eyes, breathed in, and smiled fakely at Jake as he slowly pulled away from Clare's lips.

Clare wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, kind of disgusted, and sighed.

"I'll see you at lunch Jake," she said walking in front of me into the school.

Jake glared at me, and I glared right fucking back at him.

Who the fuck does he think he is? Does he think he owns Clare or something? Fuck no bro, you're really in for it. Competing with me for Clare is bad enough let alone trying to make me feel jealous. That's like the equivalent of tying a bomb to yourself and just sitting there like a fucking cow while you wait for it to blow up.

"You didn't wish Clare and I luck on our date tonight," he told me trying to hit me where it hurt.

But, what he didn't know, was I had learned to put my jealousy aside and pull out my inner prick.

My face turned to a blank expression, and Jake stared at me confused, "Sorry, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a fuck." I smirked.

Jake asked, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

I was slowly losing all of my patience for this kid.

Each word that left his mouth translated to "Please Eli, beat me until I die." I don't know if you guys heard it like that, but that's all I'm hearing.

I looked Jake up and down-no homo-as I searched for a witty comeback.

"You know Jake, a hard on doesn't count as a person's growth," I told him as he actually looked down, checking if he had a boner.

I turned around, laughing hysterically, and almost forgot to breathe. Oh Jake, how naive you are. I always thought he would be a little better at confrontation but, apparently the answer to that was no.

"What were you two talking about?" Clare asked snapping her fingers in front of my face and taking me out of my trance.

I shook my head and said, "Oh nothing. He just has a boner."

Clare turned around to look, and I yelled, "Yuh! I Got her!"

She giggled and smiled, as the sunlight hit her face through the window. The sun barely peered through, but even that little bit just seemed to make her smile shine brighter and her whole face glow.

I swallowed hard, as Clare asked, "What are you staring at?"

"Nothing, see you later," I gulped quickly walking away from her before I could lose my shit.

ADAM'S PERSPECTIVE

"Having feelings for Clare isn't a bad thing Eli, we've talked about this so many times before," I told Eli as his hand shook uncontrollably.

I grabbed his hand to make it stop shaking and his eyes shot up and glared into mine, "It IS bad Adam. I like the enemy, I like Clare! And, the worst part is the feeling isn't going away. It's like, when I see her in the hallway my stomach feels like I'm on a rollercoaster. One of those that goes upside down and backwards and spins at like 80 MPH and all that crazy shit. Sometimes I'll even see someone using a pen that looks like hers and I'll start thinking 'Aw, Clare has that pen'. What the fuck is happening to me man?"

I let go of Eli's hand because it had become slightly awkward and said, "Eli you like her, it's not a crime. It's good because it means you actually do have a heart, not a never ending black hole."

"The last time I liked someone she ended up cheating on me, and this Jake kid is the perfect set up for a cheating," Eli told me, ignoring my joke. He looked down, his dark bangs swooping in front of his face.

I sighed, and gulped trying to word my advice correctly, "Okay, listen to me, number one get this Jake kid out of your mind. Was Clare crying over Jake in the parking lot yesterday? No. Was Jake the one that Clare was hoping still liked her? No. Eli, these are all signs. You need to go after her and stop her from going on that date tonight!"

Eli's smirked, his head tilting from side to side until he groaned slamming his head down on the table.

"Fuck why do girls have to be so fucking complicated?" he whined.

I sipped my water and said, "Well, would they be girls if they weren't?"

Eli laughed once, "Point made."

THAT NIGHT AT 8PM

CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE

"Um, I don't care what movie we see. It doesn't matter to me," I told Jake as I wondered why I was actually still going on this date.

Jake smiled at me, and said, "Come ooooon, Lady's choice."

I grinned and said, "Alright, Insidious."

"Hmmm, my girl likes scary movies?" He asked me smiling.

His girl? According to who? Why is it that I have a bad feeling that this date wasn't going to turn out so well? I don't like being labeled. Hey hi, I have a name (it's Clare by the way) so you're supposed to use it.

I waited, making popping noises with my mouth as Jake bought our tickets. I looked down at my feet, and tilted my head noticing that my right foot looked smaller than my left.

My head shot up when I heard a familiar voice.

I watched Eli and Adam walk into the movie theater, side by side, as Eli ranted and raved while Adam smiled obviously bored.

"Clare! Look at that, isn't this a small world?" Eli asked approaching me.

In a matter of seconds, Jake was next to me, snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me uncomfortably close to him.

"Eli, Adam, what are you guys doing here?" Jake asked his hot breath going down my back.

Eli continued to glare at Jake, not answering his question and Adam burst out laughing, "It just so happens it's guys night, so we are seeing insidious. You know how much Eli loves the paranormal world!"

I giggled as Adam pulled out two tickets from his pocket and said, "Look at that, printing out tickets off the internet, technology man, it never seizes to disappoint."

Eli laughed, but didn't stop glaring at Jake.

I gripped Jake's hand, pulling them both out of an intense stare and said, "Let's go, movie's going to start in five minutes."

Once we got into the theater, Jake wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I smiled tentatively, and moved closer to him.

My eyes averted to Eli and Adam as I watched them walk in. Adam was holding two icees, and Eli pointed to the row directly behind us.

Great.

As the movie started Eli began kicking the back of Jake's chair, and I turned to tell him to stop it, but Adam had already beat me to it. I knew Eli was jealous, and probably couldn't stand the sight of Jake and I together, but I still felt bad for Jake.

One date, that's all it is and all it will ever be.

Once Eli stopped, Jake gently nudged the side of my arm.

I turned to lock eyes with Jake's, and I knew that face from anywhere.

Before he could kiss me, I quickly turned back to the movie screen trying to distract myself from Jake's disappointed expression.

Eli burst out laughing even though nothing in the movie was funny. He had most likely been staring at us and knew that I had rejected Jake's kiss. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to say no to Jake.

Jake was so hard to describe, and I just didn't want to hurt him.

"Kiss me," he ordered in my ear.

I turned to face him and he leaned in crushing his lips sloppily against mine. I moved back, but Jake's lips somehow stayed connected with mine. He moved his hand up my side, and cupped my breast.

"Jake, sto-," I was cut off by a bruising grip on my hip and his dry lips.

I placed my hands on his chest, and tried my best to push him off, noticing that Eli and Adam were gone when I finally did.

My chest heaved, my heart raced, and I finally mustered up the courage to say, "That's enough Jake. I'm done."

I got up, moving past him as he followed me. He touched me, he touched me when I didn't want him to. I gulped, tears streaming down my face. I never had someone touch me like that, and I didn't like it. It just made me more self concious about myself and made me feel...dirty.

I walked quickly out the door, and kept my head down.

"Clare, wait up!" He screeched gripping my hand and I spun around ripping it away.

I rolled my eyes, and said, "Jake seriously, I'm done. This date should have never happened. I regret it did, and I apologize for trying to be a good person and satisfying your emotional needs. I just, I can't pretend anymore. I'm done."

"Clare I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," he told me.

I shook my head and said, "You've always made me feel that way Jake. It's not you, it's me. My heart isn't in this relationship or whatever we had going on here."

Jake nodded and gulped, "I knew all the rumors were true."

"What?" I hissed as he tried to get to me just because I wouldn't let him feel me up on the first date.

He smiled, "I knew the rumors were true. All you want is attention, Clare, I can give you attention."

"W-what are you talk-?" my voice had been cut off by Jake's lips crushing over mine as he pushed me into the wall of the movie theater.

Jake's hand stroked my thigh, his cold hand moving up and down my leg.

Once our lips separated, I regained my balance, and kneed Jake right in the balls making sure he got what he deserved. Not listening when I tell you no? That's deserving of a good kick in the dick.

Tears streamed down my face as I watched Jake slowly crouch to the floor and groan in pain.

"Fucking whore," Jake mumbled just loud enough for me to hear.

I breathed in deeply, and walked away from the movie theater as fast as I could before he could catch up.

I was useless, and in the end of every relationship I had I was called a slut, a whore, or something along those lines. I didn't know what to do. I pushed my hands into my pockets and felt hard plastic. When I pulled it out and realized what it was a smile crept onto my face. My fake I.D.

My eyes averted to the bar across the street.

I'm sure if I rose my skirt a little bit higher, pushed my chest out when I walked, and smiled I could get a couple of guys to buy me some beer.

"Hm," I mumbled wiping the tears from my cheeks.

This was it Clare, grow up, show people you aren't all talk and what you are called isn't just a nickname.

MIDNIGHT

ELI'S PERSPECTIVE

"Are you sure I shouldn't go back there and check if she's okay, what if she's hurt?" I asked Adam pacing back and forth by my hearse.

Adam bit into his cookie and sighed rolling his eyes at me for the tenth time, "Eli, she's fine. Just because she isn't answering your phone call doesn't mean she's getting raped. Jesus Christ, calm down."

"I can't sit, what if he did something to her? Why did we leave again?" I asked him trying to remember why Adam and I had left the movie as quick as we did.

Adam looked at me and laughed, "You said you wanted to leave because you couldn't stand the sight of Jake and Clare making out."

"Right. But he should have bought her home by now, and she should be answering my texts and calls. Why don't you try calling her? It'll make me feel at ease, please," I nearly begged him. I just wanted to hear her voice and make sure that creep didn't harm her.

Adam pulled out his phone and groaned dialing Clare's number.

"Clare?" He asked while holding his finger over his other ear to block out noise.

I didn't know why, it was quiet where we were and if she was home it would be quiet as well.

He put her on speaker and Adam asked, "Clare, where are you?"

"In a place," she said giggling, breathing in and out heavily.

I grabbed the phone out of Adam's hand knowing he probably wouldn't get any useful information out of her.

"Clare, listen to me, it's Eli, where are you?" I asked her as loud and clear as I could. She just laughed.

Clare laughed and said, "In a place with lots of colors, like a rainbow beyond the sea, someone's waiting for me!"

Oh my god, she's fucking wasted and no one's with her.

There is only one bar I know in this town, and it always had loud music, so she had to be there.

"Clare, Clare, listen to me! Stay where you are! Don't move!" I screamed at her.

She laughed on the other line and said, "Okay dad," and hung up on me before I could tell her to stay on the line with me until I get there.

I rushed into my car, putting the keys in the ignition and asked Adam, "Are you coming with me to pick up the drunk mess or what?"

Adam shrugged his shoulders and hopped into the passenger seat of my hearse.

"We can't bring her to her house drunk, her parents would kill her," Adam told me as I kept my right foot on the accelerator passing every red light just wanting to get to Clare, not caring how many fucking tickets I get in the mail.

My eyes were kept on the road, ignoring Adam, but acknowledging his statement.

"She can stay with me, parents are away, remember?" I asked him.

Adam gulped and his eyes bulged.

"Oh relax I wouldn't try anything on her, she's drunk."

He nodded, and I gripped the wheel harder, speeding up. Adam glanced at me, then glanced at the road, his nerves increasing. I laughed, while speeding up knowing I was less than two minutes away from the bar. Just the thought of Clare being drunk, around sleazy old men that just want a good time made my lip curl in anger. If Jake was with her, and was keeping her from answering her phone I'd literally punch the shit out of the kid and drown him in his own blood.

Too far? Nah.

From what I know about Clare, she never drinks or smokes. So I don't know what would cause her to drink so much that she could barely respond to me over the phone. I hope she wasn't drinking because of me. My stomach dropped into my ass, and I slammed down on the break realizing I had stopped right in front of the bar.

Adam and I looked at the place, and I gulped.

"She's in there?" Adam asked.

I nodded, "Mhm."

"She couldn't have picked a different bar with a carousel outside and rainbows splattered on the walls when you walk in? No, she had to choose the place with a hundred heavily sedated guys high on weed and cocaine that resemble the fucking hulk. I don't even want to know what's going on in the inside..." Adam whispered.

I pulled the keys out of the ignition, and slowly got out of the car, as did Adam.

"Let's find her," I said slowly making my way through the crowd surrounding the outside of the bar...

END OF CHAPTER 11

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I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be...your favorite because so far, it was mine and my beta reader's too!

SO, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS CHAPTER, DID I DO THE RIGHT THING WITH JAKE? DO YOU THINK CLARE'S WILD NIGHT WILL RESULT IN ELI AND CLARE FINALLY BEING TOGETHER?

HA! JUST REMEMBER I NEVER MAKE IT EASY ;)

265=NEXT CHAPTER ;)

Love you guys,

Cliffhanger Girl

3

P.S. Those of you who ramble on and on in the reviews, I love when you do that so don't worry about it! You don't have to apologize!

P.S.S. JUST WANT TO CLEAR SOMETHING UP! Just because Eclare kinda sorta separated (I hate saying is, so I'm in denial) through on the show, doesn't mean I'll stop writing Eclare because...they'll always be together in my heart SO therefore I will continue writing Eclare. :)

P.S.S.S. Happy Holidays!