Haha, I love you all~

You know, I hope you've all been reading this in a Texas accent. You don't get the feel of it if you don't X3

These guys are borin'.

I mean, I guess I always thought they drove around in this ancient car, banterin' about and jumpin' out occasionally to beat up criminals. But no, Funny Bones and Valkyrie are just…sittin' there doin' nothing. Maybe they just didn't plan this out well enough, and Funny Bones ain't gonna admit he didn't plan out anything 'cause I'm here. Oh, how I just love being a nuisance.

Funny Bones drove way past the big building and parked in an alley. He cut the engine and turned to Valkyrie and half to me and said, "So this man doesn't have the most high-tech security, but he has guards practically everywhere, however they're just civilians when in a place like this. We'll have to be careful to not reveal who we really are."

"Ooh, sounds fun!" I cheered and bounded from the car. My legs were startin' to hurt.

"Let's see if this little program actually catches a bad guy," Valkyrie muttered. Funny Bones shrugged and remained in the car a few minutes. When he emerged, he had a face, with brown eyes and brown hair.

"Holy Bejesus!" I screamed. "Who are you?"

"Hush up, Sanguine," Valkyrie sighed. "He has tattoos that enable a fake face," she explained. "Just relax."

"Bu-Bu…You got a face!"

"It comes in handy," Valkyrie said. "Now hurry up. We shouldn't just stand around here."

Funny Bones nodded and still he wrapped that scarf around his neck. He dug his hands into his pockets and strolled a bit ahead of us.

Valkyrie gestured and said, "You coming?"

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, wavin' my hand, but I realized I was still cuffed. "They gonna get suspicious if I still have these on?"

Valkyrie frowned. "Ah, yeah." She approached me and fished a key from her back pocket. I held out my hand for her, and she hesitated a moment.

"I ain't gonna go runnin'! Where would I even go?"

"Home?" she joked, a smirk lightenin' up her features. She jammed the key into the lock, and I shook the stupid things free. She placed them in her own pocket.

"They'll go back on, huh?" I asked as she started walkin' to catch up with Funny Bones.

"Oh, you bet," she replied happily from beside Funny Bones, turning her head to wink at me.

I groaned and jogged to 'em. "I'm thinkin' you, Funny Bones, have a plan."

"I do, in fact," he answered shortly.

Valkyrie began, "Well, I figured we'd just smooth talk our way until we're alone with this guy and then-"

"Then we go crazy and arrest 'em all?" I asked excitedly. "All I want to do is punch someone! I'm ready for the action."

"And I used to wonder why you enjoy killing so much," Valkyrie muttered. I shrugged and quietly thought up ways to kill her – it's great fun.

Funny Bones held open the door, and we passed through.

"Now what?" I whispered. We searched around the lobby for a few minutes, blindly looking for this guy.

"There," Funny Bones said dramatically, and pointed across the lobby. A woman with a green wig on sat content on a couch. All the people in the buildin' passed by her without a glance. We advanced in a line towards her.

"We're here for the Colonel," Funny Bones announced as we approached her.

The woman looked up slowly at us. "Are you expected?"

"We are," he affirmed.

Her cold eyes moved from Funny Bones to Valkyrie then to me. And then she suddenly smiled. "Billy-Ray?" she shouted excitedly.

I ain't ever seen this woman before in my life. Oh crap.

"Uh…" I smiled uneasily. "Yeah…hey…"

"Don't you remember?" she asked, smilin' wide.

"Um…no."

She rolled her eyes at me and continued on with that smilin' and said, "We were partners when we were assigned to take down Mister Luke! Remember?"

I guess the memories were comin' back, but still. If what I was rememberin' was right, this Mister Luke thing happened, pretty much, fifteen years ago. It could be that this lady had a great memory, but I'm actually just gonna go with the fact that she's extra creepy and weird.

"Oh yeah," I muttered when Valkyrie elbowed me to get me to say somethin'. "That was…fun."

"I heard you were in jail though," she continued talkin'. "You broke that guy from Russia out, dabbled with the Faceless Ones, and then kind of went away, right?"

"Hey, I did way more! I almost pretty-much-by-myself conquered the world if it wasn't for these two-"

I stopped before I started shoutin' at Funny Bones and Valkyrie for ruinin' my life.

"Hmm? Who?" the lady asked.

"I mean, that, um, these two awful detectives from the Irish Sanctuary threw me away in jail," I muttered. "But I killed 'em brutally. I sometimes dream about it…See, I sliced off the head of the bratty girl, but not before cuttin' into her major arteries, spillin' the blood everywhere. But then with the guy I just threw him into a vat of acid. Not as fun as the blood pourin' everywhere, but the acid was still a good choice."

Funny Bones and Valkyrie glowered at me. I laughed at them.

"Who are your friends?" Weird Lady asked, smiling at the two.

"This is…um, Ignatius Missouri…" I said lamely, noddin' at Funny Bones. "And she's, uh, Cinderella Gum…" I pointed at Valkyrie.

Weird Lady gave them a look. "Nice to meet you," she mumbled, wavin' slightly. "Well, Billy-Ray, you want to see the Colonel?"

I nodded and said yes.

"Well I think he's free right now," she said, checking over a clipboard. "Yeah, he's good now. I'll tell him you're coming up. He'll see you, I'm sure. He's on the sixth floor in room 62."

"Yeah, great, thanks," I said, wavin'. Funny Bones and Valkyrie waved too, and we walked off. I rather sauntered, actually.

"Really?" Valkyrie groaned angrily. "Those were the best names you could come up with? Those are horrible names!"

"I'm just gonna start callin' you that, Cinderella!"

Valkyrie groaned again and hit my arm. I hit the little up arrow button for the elevator and laughed silently.

"What gruesome deaths you have planned for us," Funny Bones said casually. "Cutting into the arteries would be painful, and throwing me in a vat of acid is rather creative."

"Ah, thanks, Funny Bones."

The elevator ding!ed. We all stepped into the little box and waited patiently for it to travel upwards. Valkyrie seemed a little cautious around me (even more so), but that's probably because I basically told her my little fantasy of killin' her horribly. Funny Bones immediately veered off and found room #62 easily when the elevator stopped. He knocked; the door almost instantly opened.

"'Afternoon," Colonel Red greeted us. He opened the door wider for us, allowin' entrance. "I hear from Lila that we have an ally with us?" (Oh! Lila was the Weird Lady's name!) He brushed his real green hair away from his eyes and nodded towards me. "Billy-Ray Sanguine, is it? Is it true you have no eyes?"

I whipped off my sunglasses and showed him the black holes. He nodded like he approved of my appearance and gestured for us to sit.

"What can I get for you today? I have pretty much everything. I even have guns from the American Civil War."

Valkyrie smirked and crossed her arms. "Now this isn't legal in the slightest, is it?"

Colonel Red titled his head and squinted at her. "No, it's not," he admitted. "Are you worried about being caught? See, miss, these are completely untraceable. I keep a log of everything I've sold, so I only know where every gun is. You don't need to worry about authorities."

Valkyrie nodded in understandin'. She stood up slowly and tilted her head the same way his was titled. "I hope that's not a selling point," she stated, "because I'm afraid you and everyone you've sold to is under arrest."

"Wh-"

Before he could utter a full dang word, Valkyrie lashed out and kicked his legs out from under him. Her creeper shadows coiled up and lifted him, so he kinda hung limp for a minute.

"You," Funny Bones said, revealin' a pair of handcuffs, "are under arrest for thievery and your little illegal gun shop. You have the right to remain silent, and anything you say can and will be used against you as you stand trial against the Elders and Grand Mage of the Irish Sanctuary. If you cooperate and give us a list of all customers and employees, you will be granted a shorter sentence in jail."

"And believe me," I added, "those Sanctuary jails are nasty."

Colonel Red just glared. "I'll cooperate," he finally muttered after a few minutes. "Just take me down."

Funny Bones nodded and cuffed the guy. Valkyrie released her tight shadowy hold on him. He staggered for a few minutes, and then suddenly tried runnin'. I didn't react fast enough, but Valkyrie was like a freakin' ninja. She tore after him and slammed the door shut by slappin' black shadows at it. They twisted together on the ground to form a little prison, and then they ran all up and down his body and constricted his every move.

"Resist to arrest," she panted slightly, "is duly noted. I will continue to keep this hold on you, cutting off most of your circulation, causing you to pass out if you dare do that again."

"Go ahead," he sneered, "keep holding me; I don't care."

Valkyrie shrugged and clenched her first. The blackness around him tightened tremendously. Colonel Red now turned blue. I watched his eyes roll to the back of his head, and he was out for the count. Valkyrie smiled triumphantly, her eyes bright with adrenaline. Funny Bones rifled through the papers around the room for a moment, stole a few folders, then motioned for us to leave.

Hm. Maybe they ain't so borin' after all.

Your reviews are so great! They keep me REALLY motivated to keep on writing this little thing~ I have some fun plans for this; just you wait!

Thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes! :DD