"Why?"

"I have personal reasons."

"Valkyrie, if you kill him, I will have to arrest you for it."

"We'll have killed each other both soon, don't you worry."

"You keep your mouth shut, Sanguine. You're now just a convict; you haven't been added back onto this team yet."

"Team? Your 'team' is made up of the most annoyin' and most sarcastic and most horrible people imaginable. And you two are skinny as sticks – how can you suffer any kind of battle at all?"

"He's a skeleton, and she's just active. What more do you want?"

I froze and didn't say anythin'.

"You messed up the argument flow, Sanguine!" Valkyrie groaned.

"Well I didn't know this was a competition, li'l darlin'!"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Freedom of speech!"

"That's America, stupid!"

"Well I'm sure your precious Ireland has freedom of speech laws or rules or whatever too!"

"Don't hate on the Ireland!"

"Don't hate on the America, then!"

Valkyrie groaned and crossed her arms, suddenly all angry and growlin' everywhere. "I change my mind: I want him locked up for the rest of his life," she said icily.

"Anything to get away from you," I snarled.

Then outta the blue, Funny Bones stood up and placed his hands on the metal table delicately. "Valkyrie, stop acting like a child."

She stood up too, uncharacteristically angry, and shouted, "I am not acting like a child! He was the one who slapped me!"

I would have stood up and joined them all in their epic starin', but practically all my limbs were chained to something. "She was the one who started tauntin' me and daddy dearest. She stared it."

"Don't you pull that, Billy-Ray!"

"I'm just statin' the truth, li'l darlin'."

Valkyrie twitched visibly and then sat down. She turned to Bespoke. "I will go insane if he doesn't leave this instant."

"Ghastly," Funny Bones butted in before Bespoke could reply, "I suggest sending the two of them off on a stakeout."

Valkyrie and I both shouted, "What?"

"In order to set up a sit-com type scenario?" Bespoke sarcastically replied. "I don't think so, Skulduggery. Why can't you all three stakeout?"

"I have certain matters to…address. It's nothing either you, Valkyrie, nor you, Sanguine, should hear."

"Why not?" Valkyrie asked, defensive.

"If you were to hear what I need to investigate, you would probably scream and rage and overall freak out. It's for the best if you don't come along."

She glared and shook her head. "I refuse to go with this idiot American for hours on a stakeout."

Funny Bones sighed, "Please, Valkyrie?"

I was hopin' she relent some more, but she nodded eventually and said she'd do it. Funny Bones thanked her and handed her a card with the address we were supposed to creep on.

"Drop us off at Gordon's?" she asked tiredly as we were all shuffled back into Funny Bones' weird car. I guess this means I'm back on the 'team'…? Heck, I don't even care.

Funny Bones nodded and pressed down on the pedal. We drove down some crazy, windin' roads to this remote residential neighborhood. Valkyrie got outta the car quickly so she could cuff both hands and drag me around like that.

"Use this information against me," she said, "and I will kill you."

"Um, what information?" I watched her fish a key from her pocket and unlock the door. "Oh! You live here, don't ya?"

She nodded once.

"Man, how did you afford this place, pretty Valkyrie? It's humongous."

And it was. The outside was red brick on every inch, with rich, deep almost red wood windows and doors. The front yard was kept sorta nicely, with a few little flowers around and a few trees. I couldn't see the backyard though. Enterin' through the front door was a whole different story though. The carpet was blood red with mahogany walls all along the corridor. An archway led into a neat little kitchen with the best appliances I had ever seen in it. Huge stairs were off to the side.

"Valkyrie?" a voice called out.

"At the front!" she answered.

A second later, a stupid lookin' boy appeared right in front of us.

A second after that, he took a look at me and screamed. "Valkyrie! Get away from him! Oh my God, what are you doing? What's happening? Has he hurt you? Are you okay? What's wrong! Oh God, oh God, oh God!"

Valkyrie pried his hands off of her face and calmly explained our awful situation. When she calmed him down so he wasn't on the verge of havin' a heart attack, she introduced us. "Fletcher Renn, this is Billy-Ray Sanguine. Sanguine, this is Fletcher. There."

I stared at him. "Did you suffer from some electric shock? That hair ain't natural, boy."

Hair Boy (I dub him this now) rubbed his neck. He almost replied but instead teleported away from us. Valkyrie sighed and directed me to stay where I was as she turned and ascended the stairs. I could hear footsteps up above, and then suddenly a guy appeared next to me. No, it wasn't Hair Boy. I'm pretty sure it was Hamlet's father, actually…

"What are you doing here!" he screamed. Though he was a cotton candy blue and totally transparent, this guy actually freaked me out.

"I'm here with Val-"

"You've found where she lives! You're here to kill her!" Suddenly he advanced and passed on through me. I cringed at the feelin' of his…body passin' through my own. Hamlet's father zoomed up the stairs, and I followed him fast before he could start screamin' to Valkyrie about me. 'Cause of stupid Valkyrie and her stupid paranoia, my cuffed hands made me almost fall flat on my face a whole ton of times, though I still managed to beat Hamlet's father to where Valkyrie's room was. (I figured it was her room at least…)

I kicked open the half-closed door and tried to explain, but I stopped short.

Valkyrie stood in the center of the room, topless (save man's immortal enemy: the bra). She clutched a shirt in her hand, and my eyes roamed across her covered chest to her lower abdomen where a long, ugly scar was placed. I studied it a second, but then quick as lightnin' she shot a stream of shadows at my face, hittin' me hard, and knockin' me down. Hamlet's father appeared by me and cringed at my situation.

"PERVERT!" Valkyrie screamed. There was a minute of silence before hands gripped my jacket, and she hoisted me up nearly effortlessly. "What the HELL is wrong with you?"

I noticed she was fully clothed now. Damn.

"It was Hamlet's father! He wouldn't stop screamin' at me!" I stammered, tryin' to save my skin.

"Who?" she demanded.

"This dude!" I pointed to the blue ghost.

Valkyrie groaned and released her death grip on me. She took an intensely deep breath and pointed to the blue ghost. "This is my uncle," she calmly said. "This is an echo stone version of him, at least. My real uncle died a long time ago. He left me this house in his will. It is not Hamlet's father." She paused. "And I thought you'd be too stupid to even know who Hamlet was."

I snarled but didn't say anythin'.

"Now, are you going to apologize for bursting in here on me?"

"No."

"And why not?"

"It's your ghost uncle who should apologize," I explained. "He got up in my face and said how I wanted to kill you. He started, uh, floatin' to you, but I wanted to get there first to explain myself. How was I supposed to know you'd be in here changin'?"

"You should have just stayed there," she muttered. "Gordon's practically a ghost. What could he have done to you?"

"He probably would have made me deaf the way he was screamin' in my ear…"

"Big whiner," she grumbled and grabbed the chain link between the cuffs and stormed out of the room. "Come on, we have to get moving."

I was forcefully dragged down the stairs and out to the front again. Uncle Ghost waved goodbye to Valkyrie as she slammed the door shut behind us.

"Are we gonna walk there?" I asked.

"No, you idiot," she replied shortly. Valkyrie stopped abruptly and jolted me a little bit. She reached into her back pocket and produced a ring of keys. She hit the UNLOCK button on the controls, and I heard a beep. I looked up to see a beautiful black Ford Mustang. I dunno the exact year, but I'd certainly say early 70s.

Though I ain't gonna admit that.

"What is it with you and Funny Bones and old cars?"

"Hey, my car is so much newer than the Bentley."

"Still, it's old."

She shrugged and motioned me to get in. I slid into the passenger seat as she revved the engine. She looked at me expectantly, but then pulled from the driveway and raced down the roads. After a while, we pulled to a curb, and she parked the car.

"Who are we after, anyway?" I asked as Valkyrie stared at a plain little buildin'.

"Anyone suspicious looking," she said quietly.

"Sounds excitin'."

It wasn't.

For hours we sat there in silence.

Finally, someone exited the buildin' we were watchin'. Valkyrie watched them for a minute, and then groaned. She dug her cell phone from her pocket and angrily dialed the numbers.

"Skulduggery, why did you send us here?" she began the conversation.

"I'm bored out of my mind!" I added loudly.

She glared at me. "We've been here for hours, and nothing has happened. What's going on? …Oh, well as long as you finished up there," she growled sarcastically. "There was a fiasco at Gordon's, but otherwise I guess he's been a good boy…" She laughed suddenly. "I know! All right, bye."

She ended the call and turned the engine back on.

"Did we seriously just sit here for hours for no reason at all?" I whimpered.

She nodded. "Sadly, yes."

"Well now what?"

"Back to the Necromancer Temple."

"Ugh, why?"

"You are the whiniest adult I've ever met."

"Well that place is horrible! And everyone there acts like they care about you. Are you the ruler of Necromancers or somethin'?"

Valkyrie didn't answer immediately. "It's kind of like that."

"Am I not allowed to know?"

"No, no," she said, "I could tell you; but I won't."

She laughed at me and kept on drivin'. Well, I'm definitely gonna get the information from somebody, that's for sure.

We got to the Temple quick enough and met Funny Bones there. He still wouldn't say what he had been doin' all those hours we were gone.

Valkyrie gave up fightin' him for the answers, and she eventually led us into the Temple again. Wreath greeted us again and immediately moved on to a different room.

"Another one," he stated simple, gesturing to another body with the exact same fatal wound and the exact same note: "You will not take our Savior from us."

"You Necromancers should really step up the security," I muttered.

Valkyrie glared and pointed to the door. "Get out and don't cause any trouble." She and Funny Bones turned from me and began investigatin' the scene. I grumbled and stepped outside by the doors. I stood in silence for a while, but a pretty blond woman suddenly turned down into the same hallway I was in. She strutted towards me.

"Who are you?" she asked coldly.

"Billy-Ray Sanguine," I answered. "And you, pretty lady?"

She grimaced. "Melancholia. What are you doing here? Are you here with anybody?"

"I'm stuck with Valkyrie Cain and Skulduggery Pleasant to 'help' them with investigations. Though I ain't really helpin' since they forced me out here."

Melancholia smirked darkly. "Valkyrie Cain? You're with her?"

"Unfortunately."

"I've heard about you. You're the American assassin. And your life goal is to kill Valkyrie Cain, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I suppose so. You gonna try and stop me?"

"No, by all means, kill her. I hate her."

"Oh, yeah?" Now I was intrigued. "Why is that?"

"She has been chosen to be the Death Bringer for us Necromancers, even though a great many of us have been Death Magic students far longer than she. And she gloated about it for so long, but she eventually let it all die down."

This was…fantastic.

"So what's in the job description for a Death Bringer, then?"

"They would raise the dead," she said matter-of-factly, "and essentially end the world."

"The end of the world though, doesn't that end with Darquesse?"

"Oh, you've heard of the prophecies about her?"

"'Her'?"

"Little Valkyrie Cain has a huge secret:" Melancholia whispered, "she is Darquesse, and she will bring about the end of the world, killing everything and everyone in her path, even the ones she loves. A suiting future for her depressing and pathetic existence, I would think."

She gave a small wave and almost ducked into the room when I grabbed her arm and muttered, "Thanks for that."

"Anything to get her down." She freed herself from my grip and joined the investigatin' group in the room.

By far this is the best information I've ever heard.

I dunno, I really love this chapter for some reason. Maybe it's vaguely boring, but I still like it. I also managed to write this whole chapter today (Sunday).

ALSO.

GUISE.

I went to a flea market Saturday, and there was this stack of Shakespeare booklets with his plays and poems/sonnets in it. They were from the 1850s. I bought them all for only $15. It was pretty much the best moment of my life. Just in case you were wondering…You don't even KNOW how awesome they all are.

And unfortunately, I have suddenly fallen deathly ill with a terrible cold. I have been coughing so much and so hard that now my voice sounds like I've been smoking for 30 years.

It's fun.

Thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes! :DD