(Prologue: Toon Link)
Today, I smashed up a cistern.
It's been one of those days.
From Villager receiving a furious letter about the homosexual poetry his mother found in his bedroom (I mean, who leaves their gay fantasies on display?) to the burnt toast we had for breakfast, it's been a disaster from top to bottom. And I'm supposed to be the expert on tops and bottoms, so when Ness asked me if I'd create a distraction for his heist, I was more than happy to oblige. However, I didn't bank on Porky Minch, the richest man in the world, tying me to a grandfather clock.
"I'll come back for you later," the beefy man snarls, striding off. "Perhaps I'll throw you out a window..."
Thankfully, before he returns to defenestrate me, my saviour comes running in the unusual form of a boy wearing a postman's cap.
"What on earth is going on?" he asks me.
I go for a wry smile as his slender fingers undo my bonds. "I smashed up a cistern. It was a bit wet."
"And Headmaster Minch tied you up?" he asks. If he's shocked, he doesn't show it.
"You bet he did," I say. "Y'know, I'm usually the one doing the tying. It's weird to be on the receiving end."
The rope falls away, and I'm freed. I pat the clock on its ticking pendulum before turning to see who's come to my rescue. As it turns out, I don't recognise him, but his face is good-natured, round, with dappled pink cheeks. The bandanna around his neck is red, with a golden badge in the centre. He reminds me of Villager, though of course, nowhere near as attractive.
"So, why did you destroy a cistern?" he asks.
I shrug. "Felt like it. Difficult upbringing, it makes me want to destroy things. Plus, Porky's a bad man."
"Yeah, he does seem to be," Bandanna Boy muses, but he's interrupted by a crash from next door.
"And that'll be my friends," I say, turning on my heel. "Gotta go, thanks for the rescue!"
"But that's Porky's office down there," the boy says, cocking his head to the side. "Are you trying to rob him?"
"We are, but that's just a side effect of our quest. You know what, fancy kicking some ass?"
The boy livens up. "Absolutely!"
"Then let's go!"
I grab him by the hand, and we hurtle down the corridor, leaving big wet footprints in our wake. We nearly run into Red, who gives my new friend a strange look, but he doesn't mention it. For once, we have a common goal: make sure Porky isn't killing our friends.
We careen into the office at top speed, Bandanna Boy keeping pace remarkably well. I rapidly survey the scene. There's ash all over the walls and the carpet, Lucas has a pile of letters stuffed down his trousers, Ness looks terrified out of his mind, and then there's Villager, looking as pretty as ever.
Porky Minch is there too, pointing a revolver at my face.
I throw my hands in the air. "Don't shoot me! These clothes are worth a lot of money!"
"I'll be sure to aim for the head," Porky says, leering. "How exactly did you escape?"
"This guy." I wave towards Bandanna Boy. "But don't shoot him either, he's got a cool hat!"
Lucas's eyes spark with recognition. Ness still looks like he's going to wet himself.
Red takes the opportunity to step forward. "Porky Minch, sir, it is not diplomatic-"
Bang.
The noise reverberates around the walls. A warning shot, and a hole in a perfectly good table.
"I said," Red continues, balling his fists. "It is not diplomatic to-"
Bang. This time, the chair takes the hit. Red reluctantly falls silent.
"Well?" Porky says, looking around at us all. His wrist shakes with rage.
"Headmaster, we can explain," Villager begins, but he falls silent when Porky aims the revolver at his chest.
"You've got five seconds. What the fuck are you doing in my office?"
"Admiring the view," I say before Villager can get himself killed. "It's the best view in the building, Lucas was going to paint it-"
"Oh, really? Then why is there ash on the carpet, why is there ash on the walls, why is there ash on the ceiling?" Porky spits, sending flecks of saliva across the room. "You dare come in here, you scum, desecrating my space, my things?"
I roll my eyes. "You're so ungrateful, you know. We're just redecorating. Soot is in season right now. Or we could go for a pale magenta, if you like?"
"Maybe a blood red?" Porky says, pointing the revolver at my chest. "You filth. I think I'll enjoy your death the most."
Bandanna Boy whimpers. Villager gives me a panicked shake of his head. But I calmly step forwards, plucking the weapon from Porky's hand.
"Threaten me all you want, but you wouldn't dare. Not yet."
But Porky draws another pistol. "Wouldn't I? You're getting too big for your boots, Toon Link! Don't think I don't know about you, the foundling, rejected by your real parents, only kept alive out of pity… how does it feel to be so unwanted?"
"You tell me," I say, though I wince at the insult. "Who loves you? Who wants you? Certainly not any of us!"
"I don't need to be loved. I am powerful!" Porky's finger itches over the trigger. "You're the one with a gun pointed at your head. Tell me why you shouldn't just die!"
"Because you've got other plans for us," I say coolly. "Shooting us would be too easy. You want us to play your games, like hamsters in a cage."
"Play my games?" Porky wheezes, erupting into a furious, biting laugh. "Ha! You fool! Do you not understand? You've been playing my games all your life! This whole city is a cage! So what if I've got other plans? Do you expect me to clap for you? Would you like me to bow? You're living on borrowed time, all of you. You're lucky I've been so merciful. But it'll all be over soon — and I'll enjoy listening to your screams for all eternity!"
"I don't think so," I say, and I raise the revolver.
But Porky laughs again. "A cute gesture, Toon Link, but it's out of bullets. I know how you work. I knew when you'd bite. Go on, start playing my game. Leave this office. Oh, and one more thing..." He turns to Ness with a sneer. "Keep those letters and that money you stole. They might just help you survive an extra day."
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Pit meets us outside, looking about as pale as an overly sunscreened redhead. "What happened?"
"The usual," I say. "Porky made some threats. He didn't act on them."
"Did you get the letters?"
"Yeah." Lucas withdraws the stack from his trousers, looking quite relieved. "I'll open them later."
"I've got some other stuff, too," Villager says. "A couple of interesting order forms."
"And some money," Ness adds. "Overall, a success."
But Red gives a furious sniff. "It was not a success. Porky wanted us to escape. He knew we'd take the letters, he must've had a reason."
"Agreed," Bandanna Boy says, looking awkward among our large group. I'd almost forgotten he was there. "Anyway, it's been fun nearly dying with you guys, but I've got things to do, so…"
"See you around!" I say. "Thanks for untying me from the clock."
"No problem," he says, already heading down the corridor. "Let me know if you commit any more heists."
I watch him leave for a while, then just before he disappears around the corner, I call out, "I'm Toon Link, by the way! What's your name?"
"Oh!" He turns with a smile. "The name's Ninten. Nice to meet you!"
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~~o00o~~
Chapter 55: The Aftermath
(Lucas)
~~o00o~~
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This whole city is a cage. You're lucky I've been so merciful.
Porky's words reverberate through my ears.
You're living on borrowed time, all of you.
Day after day, I've waded through danger. In Tazmily, when my family was attacked by a horde of angry snakes, I cowered behind Claus while Flint shot them one by one. Then, in Onett, when Geldegarde took me. His whispers still haunt me; Listen to me, Lucas… You're my treasure… My little goldmine…
I shudder. Professor Ganondorf looks over, snorts, and continues teaching his lesson.
Then came the streets, fighting off the fearsome beast called hunger, scraping pennies from the floor to buy a chunk of bread for dinner. The fear and starvation were alike, even when I thought I could never be scared again, the terrir always returned. Even when I thought I was full of food, that I'd be satiated for a thousand years, my stomach would be hollow within a day. On the streets, you don't think about how to get away. You only wonder where your next meal is coming from.
I survived all of this. Somehow. But one day, will Porky be right? Will the dice be rolled one final time? One day, will everything end?
Porky wants us alive. He has a plan. A plan we have no hope of discovering — I wrack my brains. Ninten, why does that name ring a bell? The golden egg, what's inside? And what happened to Mega Man?
Play my game.
Ganondorf's Law lesson flies over my head. The man vaguely resembles a troll, angry and irritable, but cold and uninteresting. His words about the sacred Onetian commandments are so dry, and my head is so heavy from the Psychic Stone, that I want nothing more than to sleep.
At least the Stone is safe. For some reason, it's less effective when it's against bare skin. It's comfortably in my sock, far away from anything that might hurt it.
The rest of the day passes by in an empty haze. Double Onetians Studies is dull, and English Literature is predictably mind-numbing. But one thing has me on the edge of my seat, has me longing for the end of the day.
The letters.
Once lessons are over, when Ness and I are alone in our dorm, I bring them out. There are three plump envelopes, all tied together with an elastic band. I know who I want them to be from, but I don't want to be too optimistic. Better to be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.
Ness flicks me a smile. "They're a bit sooty, but I hope they're alright."
"They're fine," I say, sliding them out. The first one is addressed to me. But to my surprise, the next one is addressed to Ness. After that, in an unkempt scrawl, a letter for us both.
"Your sister," I presume, handing Ness's over. He takes the envelope in his hands.
I look over my own letter, and when I spot the stamp, my heart fills with warmth.
It's from Mount Oriander.
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~~o00o~~
Dearest Lucas,
My grandson, it is a great pleasure to finally read your words. It is a great surprise, also; when your letter arrived on my doorstep, I could scarcely believe my eyes! Yet, there it was, the shadowy crest of Onett City.
Life in Oriander has been an ambling stroll. Your mother wouldn't have liked it, she would have thought it interminable, absent of joy. But for an old man like myself, it is simply a delight. I own a farm on the hilltops, and it would warm my heart if you and Claus would come to visit someday. As a boy, you loved sheep, do you remember? You and Claus fed them when we gathered with Duster's cousins in Druid's Hollow. The littlest one was your favourite; for much of our visit, it followed you wherever you went. The poor beast was quite inconsolable once we left!
You and Claus were such little things back then. I could bounce you on my knee and hold you in my arms. And quite the troublemaker Claus was! Do you remember when he took my hat and hid it in the coal shed? I do hope he's settled down by now, after all, I suspect the distant bells of your future will soon be ringing. By now, I have no doubt you are powerful, young men. Perhaps you have even become friendly with a lady? I was your age when I first met your grandmother. It was a scornful winter's day, and she sat beside me in the churchyard. You might think it a funny place to meet a woman, but the stars had aligned; I discovered she was a seamstress, and two years later, your mother was born.
I am troubled to hear of Flint's condition. You have such a big heart, Lucas, to be looking after him and making him comfortable. He owes you a great debt, and he is fortunate to have a son who carries such a good nature. Though he may seem distant, rest assured that loves you enormously. He always was a reserved man, after all. He was a resilient man, too, and I'm sure he'll be on his feet in no time. If he's not, I'll give him a talking to of my own!
And do you still paint? I remember watching your child-sized brush sweep across the page. Even when you were six, you would create the most imaginative things. If it would not be too troublesome, I would love to purchase one of your newer works — something floral, perhaps? And even if you do not still paint, I would pay you good money to start again. I have far too much, and far too many of my walls are empty.
I say these things because I would like to meet again, to bring this cruel sting of distance to a close. I understand finances are challenging for you, so I would acquiesce to visiting the dark spires of Onett City and treating you boys to a restaurant. There is much I must catch up on! If this is agreeable with you, please inform me when you'd be permitted to leave your boarding school, and we can arrange a date.
I would also love to hear of your studies. The Onetian education system is unique, I hear, quite different from the small schools in Tazmily. Tell me of your friends, and of course, of Claus. Hearing about your lives brings me incomparable joy, especially in these humdrum winter months, where company is sparse and time is long. You are a beacon of youth in this old man's life, and please know this: I am immensely proud of whatever you have become.
And finally, Lucas, I must be sincere with you. Above all else I have said here, you must stay safe. The stories of Onett are echoing across the country. They speak of war, battles that haven't raged so fiercely since the Iron Age. 'Porky Minch' is the name they whisper, a devilish man, king of the coal mines, king of the streets. I pray to all the gods that you are keeping yourself away from danger. And if the gods do not answer my prayers, then it is my oath that I shall come and save you myself.
With love,
~ Grandad Alec
~~o00o~~
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"He lives on his own?" Ness says quietly, looking over my shoulder. "But what about your grandma? Is she...?"
"She died before I was born," I reply. "Flint told me she got cholera."
"Oh... Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have asked-"
"It's okay," I say. "What about your grandparents, do they — are they alive?"
"I'm not sure," Ness admits. "My father's dad, I know he died from pneumonia, probably because he smoked so much. His wife was killed in a house fire. But my mother's parents, I just don't know. Nobody ever told me, I guess."
"I'm sorry," I say.
Ness shrugs. "It doesn't matter, I never really knew them. Besides, I care about friends more than family."
"I'm glad," I say, and I squeeze his hand.
Yet, looking down at Alec's letter, I have no idea what to write back. How will I explain Claus? How will I explain Porky?
"You haven't opened your envelope," I realise, seeing Ness's letter on his bed.
"Yeah, because it's from Father," Ness says grimly.
"And?"
"And I'm done with him. Whatever he's got to say, I don't want to hear it."
"Quite right," I say, smiling.
But Ness eyes the third letter, the one addressed to us both. The handwriting is awfully familiar.
"Shall we open it?" he murmurs.
I nod.
The note inside is short, written on what looks like a scrap of parchment. Ness smooths it out on the bed, and I peer closely at the words:
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~~o00o~~
You will Bow, you'll call me Sir.
And on this Friday, you'll despair.
~ Porky Minch
~~o00o~~
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"Some kind of riddle?" Ness guesses, and I bite my lip.
"Red was right. Porky did want us to find those letters."
"But what does it mean?"
"I don't know," I say. I suddenly feel nauseous, every time it feels like we've done something good, Porky turns out to be way ahead of us. "We can ask the others. Red will probably understand it."
"Sure," Ness says.
There's an uncomfortable silence. Something distant rings between us.
"Let's go, then," Ness says. "Do you still have the Stone?"
"Yeah," I say, reaching into my sock to pull it out.
It's not there.
My heart skips a beat. "I mean, I think I do, hold on..."
I pull off the entire sock, dread rising in my stomach. There's nothing inside it. I pull off the other sock, but there's nothing there either.
"Lucas?" Ness says. I stand, my breaths coming quicker. I can't have lost it. I can't have been that stupid. It must be on the floor, right? But it's not. The floor is empty.
"It was here," I say, sounding stupid. "I had it, I know I did! It can't have - I can't have lost it!"
Ness gives me a pitying expression. I rifle through my socks again, but I know it's useless.
"We'll find it," Ness begins, but I turn away from him, feeling sick. That was one of the only things Ryu wanted us to do. Keep the stone safe. Keep it with us at all times. Now I've gone and lost it.
"Come on," Ness pushes. "Let's go out and retrace our steps. It's not your fault, okay-"
"Yes, it is."
"No, it's not. You-"
"Yes, it is!" I ball my fists, my eyes beginning to leak. "I had one job. I couldn't even do that."
"Lucas?" Ness sounds quite bemused as he comes closer to me. "It's not that big a deal, it barely did anything anyway. Mistakes happen-"
"I know, but it's just - just stupid!" I turn to face him. "Ryu told us to do two things. Train, and keep the stone safe. I've failed."
"Well, that's not your fault," Ness reasons. "Ryu could hardly have predicted your long-lost brother showing up — well, both of your long-lost brothers..."
"...I guess," I say, swallowing back yet another fucking sting of guilt. "But..." I fall short, sighing miserably. "Come on. Let's just go and find it. At least I know how to do that."
"It's okay if you need a moment," Ness says softly, but I steel my impression, shoving Crybaby Lucas away again.
"I don't need a moment. I just need to stop being an idiot."
"You're not an idiot. Lucas, why are you so hard on yourself? Why have you been so upset lately?"
"I don't know," I say, standing quite suddenly, tugging my sock over my foot. I can almost hear Saul laughing at me from his dorm. "Let's just go. We'll find it together."
Ness falls silent, following me out of the room. There it is again, that distance. That coldness. It's my fault, just like everything else.
We spend about an hour searching, retracing our steps. I scour the staircases and the Law corridor, while Ness goes off to look around Byleth's history classroom. It's nowhere near Porky's office. Nor anywhere on the floor. If anyone's seen it, they'll have pocketed it. Ness jokes that we should look out for people unexpectedly exploding, and I force a smile.
But I'm still feeling weighed down as we head toward Assembly. Villager and Toon Link emerge from the dorms, red-faced and laughing, and I'm immediately suspicious of them.
"Come in!" Porky calls by the entrance, still in a great mood after his win in the office. He flashes me a dangerously quick smile as I pass, and I gulp, instinctively looking for Claus.
To my relief, he's just a few meters behind me. Since Porky already knows about him, I think it'd be sensible to start letting Claus come to assemblies. Hopefully, he'll be able to start integrating with other people and, most importantly, overcome his fear of Porky.
Claus shrinks away from Porky as he passes, but to my relief, he doesn't scream, nor does he make a noise. Pleased with his courage, I give him a smile, and Claus comes over.
"Lucas!"
"Claus!" Toon Link says, jumping in. "How are you?"
Claus beams. "Very happy. Has been very happy day."
"What are you happy about?"
But before Claus can reply, a collective gasp rings out from the centre of the Hall. Claus throws his hands to his face, letting out a shout, and I dart toward the source of the panic.
Popo's lying on the floor, his eyes glassy. Professors rush from their seats. Ness and Claus disappear in a sea of faces. Villager joins me, but there's suddenly an earsplitting noise.
"It's happening again!" Bayonetta cries.
Popo's body goes taut, unfolding from the floor as though he's being lifted with string. Someone tries to grab him, but they jump back, flinching as though in some kind of pain.
"Finite Majiko," Byleth mutters furiously next to me. "Finite Majiko!"
But it does no good. Popo reaches a standing position. For a second, he remains still, but then his eyes and mouth hurl open, and he screams. Purple light erupts from his face.
I throw my hands over my ears. The light is blinding, artificial in a way, but somehow natural at the same time. I try to take in every detail. The noise, it's not quite inhuman, but there's something sinister and petrified in it. His face, pale, clammy. His eyes, vague and distorted.
Claus tries to push toward me. Porky watches on, a look of abject horror in his gaze. Just as I'm about to reach out, the noise abruptly stops, and Popo clatters to the floor.
He opens his mouth, and he rasps a word.
"Five."
He closes his eyes, and silence fills the Hall.
It's palpable. Everyone looks at their friends, unease in their gazes. This time, it's not just a rumour. All of them have seen it, the impossible before their eyes.
Quite suddenly, chaos reigns.
Students shout, stampeding over each other to run away. Marth tries to control the crowds, but they're relentless, filled with dread. That innate fear of magic, the unknowable. Popo lies motionless on the floor. I turn, desperately trying to find Claus.
Byleth and Rosalina rush forward, lifting Popo into their arms. Porky shakes with rage. Ness appears by my side, grabbing my hand.
"Let's get out of here!"
"Assembly is cancelled!" Porky roars. "Get out! Get out, out, out!"
The crowd doesn't need telling twice. Rosalina and Byleth lead the charge, now with Popo over their shoulders. Clamouring students push for the exits — "We're all going to die!" "It must be aliens!" — and Ness, Claus and I follow suit, trying to cling to each other over the madness.
Porky Minch storms in the other direction, looking angrier than I've ever seen him.
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"So, what the hell was that?" Toon Link asks, once we're eventually safely in his dorm.
"And did you see Porky's face?" Villager adds.
"He was furious-"
"He didn't understand what was happening," Pit says.
"Or it wasn't supposed to happen in public," I say, feeling a bizarre optimism in my stomach. Something about the incident has made Porky seem a lot more human, and a lot more beatable. His reputation will be in tatters. Hope sizzles at my fingertips.
"Well, I still think it was Saul," Pit says. "If it's not Porky doing this, it has to be him, right?"
"Unless it was all part of Porky's plan," Red says darkly. "What if he was acting?"
This worrying thought washes over us. But I find it unlikely, not even Porky could act that well. In his face there was rage. Pure, unquenchable rage. I just pity whichever kid he'll use as a punching bag for the next few hours.
Even more so, I don't think it could be Saul. If he was magical, he wouldn't need to bother with his gunpowder plot. All he wants is to take down Porky, and I don't think making people collapse would help him with that. The only person I'm still suspicious of is whoever's sending Ness letters.
"So," Villager says. He brings out a bundle of papers from under his shirt. "I've been meaning to say, I found these when we raided Porky's office. They're... kind of weird."
"What are they?"
"Order forms," Villager tells us. He gives one to Claus, who studies it vaguely. "Porky's been importing a ton of farm animals from Twoson's breederies. Cows, pigs, sheep... it doesn't make any sense."
"Do Future Humans need to eat?" Ness asks.
"They probably eat their victims," Toon Link reasons. "Or they're, like, solar powered."
"Solar powered? How would that work?"
"Some physicist discovered it a few decades ago," I say, remembering this from science class. "Energy from sunlight gets converted into electricity. It's the future, apparently."
"That doesn't explain the farm animals," Red says.
"True..." I frown, looking closer at the order forms. Each one is signed by Porky himself, confirming the animals' arrivals in Onett's river ports.
Toon Link raises an eyebrow. "Maybe he's opening a zoo?"
"Or trying to do some work with reproduction?" Pit suggests.
"It could be to do with stocks and shares," Ness says. "Maybe animals are worth a lot at the moment?"
I shiver, suddenly uneasy. This form confirms the importation of one hundred sheep from Twoson Central Breedery to Mister Porky Minch… Whatever this is, it can't be good.
Ness withdraws Porky's note from his pocket, placing it importantly down on Toon Link's bed. "We also found this. It's a riddle, we think."
"See?" Red huffs. "I knew he wanted us to steal the letters." But he looks at the riddle with interest, taking in the bizarre words. He turns it over. "There's some kind of code, too."
I look closer.
P16L2W20P3L4W18P7L2W1
"Fat lot of good that is," Toon Link says. "It probably spells out Porky is awesome, or something."
"And on this Friday, you'll despair..." Villager reads. "Isn't Porky's formal dance this Friday?"
"Yeah," Ness says. "We'll be despairing thanks to Lucas's wobbly dancing."
But Pit's eyebrows furrow as he takes his turn with the riddle. "Do we even need to bother with this? It's probably another one of Porky's traps, or some way of wasting our time. He's got something planned for Friday, so what? We'll take care of it."
"Play my game," Toon Link murmurs. I give him a funny look, and he blushes. "Sorry — it's what Porky keeps saying. This is his game, riddles."
"Riddles..." Claus repeats.
"Well, at least the code makes sense," Red says haughtily. We all turn in surprise.
"It does?"
"P16L2W20... Isn't it obvious?"
"No," Toon Link says, rolling his eyes. "Please enlighten us."
Red gives a rare smile, enjoying the moment of superiority. "Page 16, Line 2, Word 20. Book references. There'll be words in the book, and the words will spell out a phrase."
"Nice," I say, impressed. "Which book?"
Red's smile falters. "I don't know."
The clocktower rings for dinner.
"Yet another problem for us to postpone," Toon Link says cheerily. "Only for us to resolve it far too late. Come on, let's go."
The seven of us head down to the dinner hall, where we're immediately greeted by the smell of burning food. I plug my nose as we reach the front of the queue.
"This is why you hire catering staff," Ness whines, picking up a plate of blackened chicken. "Is this charcoal, or meat?"
"We tried our best," snarls the youthful server. "It's hardly our fault we can't cook."
"It's an honest mistake," Villager says kindly, but the server huffs in his face, shoving more plates towards us and bustling away into the kitchen.
"Oooh! Black pudding!" Paula says, appearing out of nowhere.
"It's supposed to be chicken," Pit grumbles. "You can have mine if you like."
Paula's face falls. "Oh dear… I'd rather not…"
Usually, at dinner time, the atmosphere is warm and excitable. Students might be discussing their day, or lambasting Bowser for the umpteenth time. But today, the extremeness of Porky's regime seems to be taking a toll. There are tired eyes among the crowd, some students hardly touching their burnt meat, and most talking in low groans to one another. Memories of the sausage-and-mash food fight come back to me. How far away that feels now.
"Miserable lot, this," Villager says. "We should hurry up and eat."
"Why, somewhere to be?"
"No, but Lucas and Ness have their meeting with Byleth."
I blink. I'd completely forgotten about that amid the afternoon's chaos. Byleth waves from the other side of the room, seemingly oblivious to the students' low mood.
Claus chews through his meal pretty quickly, but I end up pushing mine away after only a few bites. Something's making me feel sick again. Porky isn't even here, probably still stewing over whatever happened earlier. But people are looking at us, I realise with a jolt. Not obviously, not staring, but some gazes flicker toward us, only on occasion... but just enough to make me uncomfortable.
"Guys," I mutter. "We should go."
Our group stands, and the low mutters of conversation swiftly dissolve to silence. They hurriedly start back up again, as though they didn't want us to know they'd reacted. As we walk toward the exit, some people almost seem to lean away from us, their eyes twitching, fingers drumming nervously on the table.
"What's their problem?" Toon Link asks as a girl gives him a terrified glance. "Is there food on my face?"
I look at Claus, who puts a nervous hand to the metal on his cheek. I look toward Ness, who's staring longingly at my face.
"And Popo," Diddy Kong is saying to his friend as we pass, but he freezes, locking eyes with me. He hastily moves away.
"Everyone thinks they'll be next," Villager says quietly. "Nobody's sure who to trust."
He's right. Even as we pass a table of younger students, they're whispering about purple light. After the first incident, there had been curiosity, rumours, excitement. But now? Fear. And if this is Porky's doing, then it's working very well.
"Come on," Pit murmurs as some kids give Claus yet another terrified look. "Let's get the hell out of here."
We do.
With nothing better to do, Ness and I leave the others to hunt for the Stone. We should probably be training, or working out what Porky's up to, but not having the Stone makes me feel restless. I want to make up for my mistake by finding it, wherever it may be. Because I can't just lose it. It can't just vanish. Even I'm not that pathetic.
But once again, we find nothing, and we end up in our dorm. I sit down, burying my face in my hands. Not only have I lost the Stone, but everyone suddenly hates us, Porky's set us an impossible riddle, and my goddamn fake older brother is still next door. It's becoming too much.
"I meant what I said earlier," Ness murmurs from beside me. I hardly hear him. "You've not been yourself lately, and it's not because of the Stone."
The Stone. Saul. Claus. Too many thoughts. Overwhelming me, with no escape.
"I think we need to talk," Ness continues. "Like, properly. I know we already sort of did, but I want to... say some things, I guess."
"Oh," is all I can say. As if today could get any worse. Now Ness hates me too.
"I want to be honest, completely honest," Ness says, and he looks up at me. "Is that okay?"
I try to focus on what he's saying. He slowly puts a hand to my cheek.
"Lucas... I love you a lot. I've never loved you more than I do right now. Battling alongside you, trying to figure all this out… there's nobody I'd rather be doing it with."
I blush.
"But I'm worried about you, really, really worried about you." The words sound like they're costing Ness a lot of energy. "I've said it before, but you've been sullen, upset, and just — different. I don't wanna be like Red, accusing Villager of becoming toxic, because that's not true. There's nothing wrong with changing, getting stronger because of this battle. But I think you're sadder, and I... don't like that." He averts his gaze. "There are things on your mind, and you're being dragged down by them. Am I correct?"
I give a weak nod.
"I thought so. And I think it's been affecting our relationship. You don't want hugs anymore. We stay together, but we're quiet. It's like we're still best friends, y'know?"
"I always want hugs," I mumble.
Ness puts an arm around me. "It's okay. I'm not angry or anything. All I'm trying to say is." He gulps. "I want to make sure that you're happy with this relationship. That you're happy with how we are, and I mean one hundred percent happy. If this isn't what you want, if you don't want to be boyfriends, we can go back to how we were before. Best friends, if you like." He bites his lip suddenly. "And I wanted to make it clear that you can tell me anything, literally anything, and I will help you through it. Just like you did for me before. Okay?"
I'm lost for words, staring into the carpet. The grey, empty carpet.
"Lucas?" Ness says, quieter, coming nearer. "Are you okay?"
"I love you," I whisper, the words hardly coming out. I look up, fixing my gaze onto him, forcing myself to speak. "I want to hug you, I want to kiss you, I want to do all of those things."
"...But?"
"There are obstacles," I admit. "Everything Geldegarde did. Him and his clients. When you say you love me, I hear them in the background. And when you touch me, it's even worse. But I want to love you, I want to touch you. I want to get past all that."
Ness listens.
I blunder on, the words flowing freer now. "You make me happy, you make me comfortable. I know you love me, I feel safe when you hold me. Geldegarde messed things up, but I won't let him take what we have away. I just need to get used to this. That love is — our love — isn't like his. What he did to me."
"Lucas," Ness murmurs.
"And Saul," I continue, my mouth acting of his own accord. "He's not really my brother, I lied to you — I had no choice! He made me, he has gunpowder, he's going to blow everything up if we don't let him stay. He's part of The Sharks, Ness, and there's nothing we can do." My voice suddenly breaks, and I gulp. "There's nothing we can do."
Ness tugs me into his open, rubbing circles around my back. He doesn't blame me for anything, he doesn't say why didn't you tell me?, he just stays there. With me.
"I'm really sorry," I mumble into his chest. "I should've been honest."
"It's okay," Ness whispers. "It's not your fault."
"I want to be with you. I want to be with you forever, I love you so much. I'm sorry for being stupid, and - and acting so differently."
"Don't apologise," Ness soothes.
"I won't. I'm just." I wipe my eyes. "God, I knew I was gonna cry about this!"
"It's okay to cry!"
I bite my lip, sighing in Ness's hold. "I want things to go back to normal, you know? I want everything to get better, but it always takes so long..."
"We just have to keep trying," Ness says. "One day, Porky will either have won, or he'll be gone. It's up to us to improve our odds."
"But how? Everything seems like it does nothing. Porky's expecting our every move."
"Then we need to get others to help us." Ness smiles, looking a little hopeful. "Come on, think about it! If there are loads of us working to take him down, then he can't possibly keep track of us all."
"...I guess," I say.
"Starting with Byleth," Ness says, standing. I look at him, wanting him to come back and hug me, but he doesn't. He just looks down at me. "Uh, are you okay to go to our lesson now? Only, we're kind of late..."
"Maybe?" I stand, my legs shaking. "Ness, I'm just. I'm not sure if I can do this for much longer."
"I can go on your behalf," Ness offers, but I shake my head.
"No. I'm - not yet." I steel my expression, willing myself to be stronger. I'm not giving up until I break completely. "I'll be fine," I say. "I'm just, cracking. Slowly." I'm not sure why I'm suddenly being so honest. "But I'll be okay."
"If you're sure," Ness says, reaching out his hand.
"I am," I say, though I'm not.
Not in the slightest.
Ness takes the lead down the stairs, and I follow, my mind trying desperately to slow itself down. Something aches in my chest. In my heart, I know I need time, I need to recover somehow, but everything's happening too fast, all at once. It feels like I keep zoning out, like today's been a collection of events stitched together. And there's still so much that Ness and I need to deal with, questions we need to ask in our relationship. It's all well and good saying we love each other, but homosexuality is still illegal. We still haven't talked about that. We really need to talk about that.
"-or maybe he'll teach us more spells? Or how to control the Stone?" Ness is saying as we reach the door. I focus just enough to hear him hitting the hourglass-shaped knocker.
"Come in," Byleth says.
We obey.
The office is just the same as when we were last here, except the disorganised pile on Byleth's shelf has grown slightly. Two velveted chairs have been set down in front of the desk, and we gladly accept them. I surreptitiously look for any hints as to what we might be doing.
Byleth himself shows no sign of recognising that we're here, rapidly scrawling something in a tattered journal. Ness and I exchange an awkward glance, eyes racing around the compact office, the dusty magical books on their shelves, the stacks of papers bursting out of their drawers. With a shock, I notice Ryu's bronze globe tucked untidily beneath a fallen coat.
"So," Byleth says suddenly, folding his hands. His words come as though he's said them millions of times before. "Some things happened earlier."
"Popo collapsed," Ness says.
"Another incident. Another attack…" Byleth pulls out two watches from his pocket, attaching one to each wrist. "Interesting, don't you think?"
"What's going on?" I ask plaintively.
Byleth doesn't answer, but he continues to speak with complete confidence. "Think about it. The purple light. Either someone's invented LEDs far too early, or there is some magic at play. The victim defies gravity, quite impressive... magic and physics usually go hand in hand. Very, very interesting"
"Popo said a number," Ness chips in. "The number five."
"He did indeed," Byleth says. I blink, having forgotten that amidst the chaos.
"And it wasn't Porky who did it," Ness says. "He looked angry when it happened."
"Yes, yes," Byleth says, but he doesn't sound particularly interested. Ness frowns, perhaps disappointed at not being praised for his deduction. "Unfortunately, that's not what today's meeting is about," Byleth says.
"What is it about?" I ask warily.
Byleth doesn't reply. Instead, he brings out a large folder, revealing a small canvas painting of a boy. He's matched by an even younger boy with similar sandy blonde hair, two older figures standing confidently in the background. The central boy must be Porky, with blue dungarees over his scruffy white shirt. He's a lot younger, his hairline a lot further forward, and without the streaks of grey. He looks in remarkably good health, even, though of course, the painter may have been paid to flatter him.
"I thought we'd start here," Byleth says. "In case you hadn't realised, this is a painting of Porky Minch and his family. Some say that Porky himself had this painting commissioned — this is a copy, of course — and I think you'll find it to be a very interesting piece."
Ness point to the youngest boy in the painting. He's grinning, clutching a teddy bear, and there's a giant M across his shirt. "Since when did Porky have a brother?"
"And that's the big question," Byleth says, raising his eyebrows. "Since when did he have a brother? His name is Picky Minch, they say. And then, of course, Aloysius, his father." He points to the proud-looking man in the background, then moves to the bony woman. "And Porky's mother, Lardna."
Ness lets out a snort.
"A brilliant name, I think," Byleth says, though he too smirks.
"Where are they all now?" I ask. For some reason, I'd never thought of Porky as a normal boy, as having parents. He's always seemed like this monstrous thing that crawled out of the river one day.
"We'll get onto that later," Byleth says, putting the painting onto his teetering pile. "You see, it is remarkably difficult to find information on Porky's family. It's all been very well tucked away. This painting and Porky's words are the only pieces of evidence to even suggest they existed."
"They're not in the census?" Ness asks, surprised.
"Not even the national one." Byleth smiles. "Peculiar, isn't it?"
"Will that help us beat him?" I say, sounding a lot more childish than I intended.
Byleth nods. "If you're wise. You see, Porky is a complex man, and it is Ryu's wish that you understand his past. In order to understand your enemy, you must understand where he came from."
I try not to show my disappointment. I'd expected crazy magical powers, not bonus history lessons.
Byleth continues, "I trust you've been listening to Porky's assemblies?"
Ness and I nod in unison.
"Good. As I'm sure you've figured out, since I believe they're intended for you, he's been giving analogies of his past. Take the Ugly Duckling story, obviously supposed to be him. Ousted by everyone, then comes back to rule them all. Which is interesting, because when was he ousted? He's not on the criminal record, not on any school lists. And, strangely, nobody in Onett quite knows where he came from. Many people in history have disappeared, of course they have, but very few arrive without explanation." Byleth fixes us with a raised eyebrow. "To quote Ryu: 'Where he came from shall surely mirror where he goes next'."
"Indeed," I say, not understanding what on earth he's trying to tell us.
"So, we must discover how he arrived in Onett," Byleth continues. "We can backtrack through the earliest records of his existence. We shall begin with the first piece of evidence, which is this, an old letter written by Councilman Geldegarde Monotoli."
The name shoots ice through my heart. I give a horrific shudder. Byleth raises his eyebrows.
"Is something wrong?"
"N-No sir," I manage, ignoring Ness's worried look. "It's nothing."
"I will take you at your word," Byleth says, and he unfurls the paper. It's browned at the corners, but the handwriting is neat, a series of ornate loops and curls. "This letter is sixteen years old," Byleth says. "At the time, Geldegarde Monotoli was an undersecretary in Mayor Carpainter's Council, and he was writing to none other than B.H. Pirkle, who was the minister of crime and punishment at the time. Take a look for yourselves."
We lean in.
.
.
.
~~o00o~~
Good afternoon, Mr Pirkle,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am sending one of the junior ministers to deliver it, but you know what they can be like!
I am writing to you concerning a rather pressing matter, the matter of the Minister of Science position. As I'm sure you are aware, Mayor Carpainter confirmed his shortlist last Tuesday, and it is one which I find to be most agreeable. Doctor Andonuts would no doubt be a wacky but experienced member of his cabinet, while Maxwell Labs is young, but holds a lot of promise. However, the matter lies in the third member of the group, the one who calls himself Porky Minch.
As far as I am aware, this man has no prior experience in government. In fact, I have been unable to track down his history; he is not listed in the last Census, nor is he named in any shipping records. From the meetings I've held, I gather Porky is an intelligent fellow, but he is concerningly intelligent, if you know what I mean. He is unreadable. There is potential in him sure enough, but it could be potential to undo us all.
I have attempted to research his lineage, but it seems there is none to discover. There is a small business renting carriages and a property in the Third Residential District to his name, but both only came on record in the last trimester. He is an enigma, and I wondered if you may have some more information.
As you know, you are a man who I greatly respect, and a man who I know is experienced in matters of governance. Your assistance in this matter would be truly appreciated.
My Warmest Regards,
Geldegarde Monotoli, Senior Undersecretary to Mayor Carpainter.
~~o00o~~
.
.
.
Ness looks up, bewildered. "Porky applied for a position in the Onetian Council?"
"Not just any position," Byleth says. "The Minister of Science. I suspect he'd already begun work on his Future Humans."
"And did he get the job?" I ask.
"Thankfully, he did not." Byleth folds the letter, leaning back in his chair. "However, this shows us a lot. Even sixteen years ago, Geldegarde recognised Porky's potential. Porky did not have much to show for himself back then, but he bided his time. He made some financial endeavours in Tazmily, began construction on his city, and it escalated from there."
"Did he apply to any other positions?" I ask, unable to imagine Porky giving in so easily.
"Not that I'm aware of," Byleth says. "I believe, by that point, Porky had a pretty clear plan for what he was going to do. After his initial rejection, that plan longer involved the government."
A howl of wind permeates our discussion. The sky outside Byleth's window is a murky black. The gas lamps flicker around us.
"...And I think that'll do for today," Byleth says. "There is much to be doing, and your curfew awaits... but before I dismiss you, do you have any questions?"
"Yeah," Ness says. "What type of powers do you have?"
Byleth blinks with surprise, but he composes himself. "I would've thought it obvious from the decor. By Sothis's bidding, I possess the Time powers."
"Really?" I say, unable to contain my surprise. "But those are hypothetical, there's never been a time magician on record!"
"I do live a quiet life," Byleth says, giving a rare smile.
I stare at the man before me with awe. I long to ask exactly what he can do with his abilities, but it'd be rude. If we needed to know, he'll have told us.
"Next time, we'll begin making theories," Byleth says, standing. "Shall we say next Wednesday?"
"Yeah," I say, my mouth still hanging open.
"Very well. Until then, stay safe."
"You too, Professor."
We're almost at the door when my curiosity finally wins out, and I turn on my heel.
"Professor, are you able to time travel?"
But Byleth merely smiles. "Goodnight, Lucas!"
.
.
(Bonus Scene: Toon Link)
.
.
I sit listlessly in my bedroom.
Rain has begun to spatter down outside. It obscures the forest to a shadowy mass, smudging the sky into a dark grey. Another early winter's night is here, and it's yet another day where we've made no progress.
I worry about my family a lot. I worry about tiny Young Link, asleep in his bed, unaware of what's going on. I worry about Gerald, Father, at the butcher's stall. Most of all, I worry about the woman in the bakery, the woman looking for her missing son.
Me.
Scraps of letters sit on my desk. Dear Felicity. Dear Mother. My name's Toon Link. I'm your son. All are torn up, not quite right, too cheery, too sad, too trite. I can't do it. The thought feels like a thousand hits on the arse with Bowser's cane. I can't do it.
And who's the father?
This question is constantly pressing through my mind. It's always accompanied by a vague figure of a man, distant, with his back turned away. He walks off into the forest. He doesn't ever come back.
How does it feel to be so unwanted?
Porky's words.
You're not unwanted, your parents chose you.
Villager's.
The door creaks open. I snap to attention, but it's just him. Villager casts his eyes over my failed scraps of parchment, and he melts in understanding beside me.
"How are you doing?"
"Not good," I admit. In front of anyone else, I would've made a joke, told a white lie. But Villager has always been able to see through my deceptions.
"Want to talk about it?" he asks.
"Not really."
There's a slight pause.
Villager loops his arm around my middle. "Ness and Lucas were discussing their relationship earlier," he says. I can see what he's doing, trying to distract me.
It works.
"What did they say?"
"Well, Ness is worried that Lucas is becoming distant, Lucas is worried about physical contact. It sounded kind of messy... I didn't want to eavesdrop too much."
"They spend too much time together," I mutter. "I don't think it's healthy."
"It's the psychic bond," Villager says. "That's what Ness says."
I lay my head on his chest. "We don't need any psychic bonds."
Silently, Villager wraps his arms around me. It still feels unfamiliar, even though we've been in this 'experimenting' stage for a few days now. Secretly, I long to make things official with him, but I don't think he's ready for it yet. He doesn't know what he's missing, I think to myself tiredly.
"What do you think we'll do tomorrow?" I ask.
"No idea," Villager says. "But we'll worry about that later. We've got other things to be doing first."
My heart skips a beat. "And what things are those?"
"That's up to you," Villager says, putting a hand to my chest. He grins. "Where would you like to begin?"