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not beta'd
storyline - Malicious
prompt - "Just one more," she said.
By the time I get out of the shower and grab a bite to eat, it's nine o'clock. I'm stalling now, not wanting to check my email because if the notes aren't there I won't just be frustrated, I'll be disappointed.
It's getting late, though, and even though government is one of my best classes, I really need to prepare for this test.
Armed with hot chocolate-extra-marshmallows, I sit at my desk and click on over to Gmail.
New message. I wonder belatedly how you know my email. Probably from swim team announcements and stuff. But anyway, it's there.
You came through.
"How'd you think you did?"
"Good." I smile, nodding. "Thanks to you."
You grin back, all self satisfied, and for once it doesn't irritate me. In fact, it's sort of cute.
I sigh inwardly. Yes, we're definitely still dwelling in the Twilight Zone.
"How about you?" I ask, making an effort to be polite. I figure the more we do this the more natural it'll become.
"It was easier than I was expecting. She didn't have as many essays as last time."
"Yeah, I think for me too… although, I sorta like the essays."
"You would." Your cheeks turn pink and you look away.
It's like you're embarrassed, like you think you've said too much maybe. I wonder how much you know about me, and if you've actually been observing me for all this time.
"Essays give me a chance to go deeper. Multiple choice and short answer don't really allow for that. It's all black and white. I prefer the grey areas."
You nod. "I can see that."
The end of the hall looms up ahead. I have to go left for my next class, and it looks like you have to turn right. We do this painfully polite smile and wave thing before splitting up. I fight the urge to look behind to see if you're looking at me. Because if you are, and we catch each other, it would be awkward.
By the time November swings around I'm wearing my red zipped hoodie over my swimsuit the days that I'm life guarding. Some days are colder than others, but there are still a few brave souls in the frigid water: surfers and skim boarders in wetsuits and snow birds who are relieved to be away from the north.
We don't have to be on duty as often because of the weather, so I have a lot more free time. My father still works his crazy hours though, so I spend a lot of time with the girls.
The swim team is pretty close knit; most of us have been swimming together for years and years. Even when the season is over, we hang out at school and on weekends. This was crappy sometimes last year, when you and I were feuding, but this year it's different. In fact, it's like night and day.
Now I'm not anxious because you intimidate me. I'm anxious because I can tell you like me – it becomes more obvious each day - and I think I might like you too.
Whatever happened that day on the beach affected us in ways I would have never fathomed.
I watch, nauseated and envious, as Alice sits on Jasper's lap, feeding him this chocolate cake she made last night. She's all proud because it's some recipe that has been passed down through the women in Jasper's family, generations of traditionally amazing Southern cooks.
"Just one more bite, baby," she says, steering the fork in to his mouth.
He closes his eyes and moans and at that point I look away, disturbed by how erotically suggestive this is getting.
Okay, okay, and it's romantic. I'm not gonna lie; I'm a little jealous that for the majority of high school my love life has consisted of nothing but first dates and group dates and once even a blind date. Normally I don't care much; between school, lifeguarding and swim team, I've had little time for serious relationships.
Well, technically I still don't have the time, but I'd make time if I had someone.
The same voice that used to caution me about you now whispers your name.
Like you can hear my thoughts, you look over at me. I…didn't even realize I was looking at you and now I'm the one whose face is on fire. But you just nod toward Jasper and Alice's Valentines Day-in-fall display and roll your eyes.
I'm beginning to think another reason we've always butted heads is because we might be more alike than I realized.
Shaking my head, I mouth "I know."
We share a smile and I look away, just in time to see Rose raise an eyebrow super smugly at me.
I get up and escape to Emmett's kitchen, knowing she'll be hot on my trail, so I'm ready for her when she comes prancing in after me.
"Forget it," I say, preemptively.
She purses her lips. "Not saying anything - don't have to because you're already thinking it. So."
"Then why'd you look at me like that?" I ask.
"Why are you smiling and blushing like that?" she shoots back.
I turn and open the freezer, sticking my head inside.
"It's okay if you like him, you know," she whispers, suddenly right next to me. "Don't let pride keep you from doing what you want to do."
"It's not just pride," I murmur, considering the frozen pizza inches from my face. I could use a little pepperoni right now.
"Then what? Are you afraid because of how he used to be? 'Cause I can tell you for sure that he was just scared shitless. You know how dogs bite you when they're scared?"
Laughing, I back out of the freezer and shut it. "I get it. I guess… I just wish he'd tell me all of this himself. I mean, he's apologized and everything, but sometimes I wonder if he even knows what he should be sorry for." I rub my eyes, suddenly tired. "I know you're sick of me. Half the time I'm sick of me."
"Shut up, I'm not sick of you. But I do think you should, like, tell him how you feel."
"What? No way."
Rose folds her arms. "Why not?
"Why not what?" Alice asks, floating in to the kitchen with the now empty of chocolate-cake-sex plate.
"You know," Rose says, looking pointedly at the other room. "Why Bella doesn't just talk to him."
Alice squeezes in to the corner where we're standing. "Oh. Oh, yeah girl. It's time."
"I love how you two have obviously been discussing this."
"Pfft, we've been discussing this for like a year," Rose says. "Well… at least since summer time…definitely since you saved him."
"There are so many ways I can see this going so totally wrong," I whine, freaked out. The more we talk about it, the more real it becomes. My heart is pounding; I can actually see myself having this conversation with you.
"Why, Bella?" Alice asks. "The ball is so in your court. It always, always has been."
You and Emmett walk in to the room, effectively putting an end to our conversation. You sense it, too, because you both stop talking and eye us. You look at me and freeze, and I see it then: vulnerability, nervousness. And a little hurt, too.
You run your hands through your hair and turn to Emmett. "I'm gonna head out."
Emmett sighs in resignation. "Yeah, okay."
"See you guys," you say to the rest of us, your stride cocky and your grin crooked and your head held high.
I feel so stupid for not knowing this was an act.
I feel like I'll puke if I don't say something.
"Edward, wait up."
wow, a good many of you have been to sleepaway camp! like i said, i did a couple of day camps but that's about it. i also lived in the islands, though, so...i don't know. it was different. ;)
so. what's your favorite chocolate recipe? i have so many. SO MANY. i love chocolate.