From here on out, all chapters will have a warning for sexual themes.

I was so stunned at Valkyrie's display of affection, I flailed back, makin' Valkyrie release her hold on me.

I took a deep breath and watched Valkyrie inhale and exhale deeply, her eyes wide and her face filled with horror.

"What the hell was that for?" I rounded on her. "I'm sorry, I always thought you were supposed to hit the person you're fightin' – not go crazy like you just did!"

She didn't answer right away, but she eventually muttered, "What just happened?"

"That's a really great question, and I'm gonna be over here, waitin' for an answer from ya."

"I can't believe I just did that…"

"I can't believe it, either!"

"Oh shut up!" she shouted, suddenly turnin' to me. "Like you haven't been all conflicted with your emotions lately!"

"Oh what? That time you were in your room? And with that stupid dress? You were practically half-naked! What else did ya expect from me? Did ya want me to avert my eyes?"

"Well, yes, you pervert!"

I scoffed and turned away. "Besides, my emotions ain't conflicted. I just reacted the way I did, 'cause, well, you were half-naked. What's a man to do when faced with a body like that?"

She rolled her eyes. "You are ridiculous and a sexist," she stated simply.

"I do what I can," I replied, shruggin'.

"I hate you," she repeated ever so kindly.

I looked to her. And then suddenly somethin' forced me onto her, so I was the one with the hands everywhere and doin' the kissin'. I don't even know why. Maybe it was 'cause of the split second she was on me, 'cause when she was, it felt…nice. My main goal, really, in life ain't to get a bunch of women for myself or nothin', but I'll take what I can get, really. And with this bein' in jail for these past three years thing and whatever the hell our emotions are tellin' us, I kinda liked the idea of just a female companion.

Anyways, Valkyrie, in turn, thrashed away from me by a few feet and she shouted, "Okay! Now what was that?"

"…I ain't sure."

"I'm not either!"

"I just kinda liked the feelin', that's all," I muttered, rubbin' my neck.

Valkyrie tilted her head and sighed. She stepped back closer to me and placed a hand on my chest. Her doe eyes stared down my little black holes. Her eyes closed, and her lips rose to find my own. She kissed me softly at first, but at the sudden feelin' of our tongues together made me go practically crazy. I grabbed her waist harshly and fought for dominance. She resisted and tried winnin' herself, like I knew she would, but I still won her over by slammin' her against the wall and pressin' against her. When we broke apart, Valkyrie was pantin' like a dog, her face flushed, and her skin hot.

"Let's get one thing straight," she whispered, "I don't love you and you don't love me."

"Stop talkin'." I growled and clawed at her clothes.

"No." She pulled away my hands. "This will just be a one time thing. Suddenly all the stress of everything has gotten heavy, and this is why we're about to do…this. Also we were drinking earlier."

"Yeah, sure, sure." She was simply tryin' to justify herself, I could tell. I guess I'd perhaps be vaguely offended, but I didn't care.

"And we will never speak of this to anyone, got it?"

I groaned and stepped back, holdin' up my right hand. "I promise that I do not love you, that this is gonna be a one time thing, and that I'm just stressed over this detectivin' thing."

Valkyrie nodded once and suddenly jumped me; I backed up to the bed, and we collapsed on it.

Later, when I woke up in the middle of the night, and noticin' the blankets sprawled everywhere and the sleepin' Valkyrie next to me, I grinned.

I guess workin' "for the good of society" ain't all that bad.

I woke up that mornin' when Valkyrie threw my clothes at my face. I groaned and sat up and stretched. She was standin' at the foot of the bed, already dressed.

"Skulduggery called, asking how last night went," she stated simply. "I said that we got the guy, and that I kept you over here at the house and forced you into a room and kept you locked up."

"Ah, yeah, I assume you'd want to keep our liaison a secret, li'l darlin'?"

Valkyrie crossed her arms. "If you wouldn't mind," she replied icily.

"Will do, li'l darlin'."

"Get up and get dressed. We need to now go raid Christopher Choir's house for the things he stole and get them back to the rightful owners."

I watched her race out the room. She seemed…cold. Most likely ashamed at what had happened. As I dressed, I thought about exactly what had gone on.

I mean, I definitely slept with a girl who absolutely wants to kill me, and I the same for her. There was no love last night, that's for sure. There was definitely lust and extreme want, but there was no love. But hey, we said we didn't love each other. I still think Valkyrie Cain is a horrible little brat, and I really hope she dies painfully.

Of course, I now gotta wonder what the heck has been goin' on in her mind these past days. Did she have less-than-pure thoughts 'bout me, too? I can't imagine that she would.

But, really now Sanguine, if she willingly let you do that, is she really all that innocent and saint-like? I always thought she was such a pure schoolgirl for such a long time, but maybe growin' up the way she did in this awful world turned her deadly and sinful. But I've got my own sins too, so no judgin' here, promise.

I finished dressin' and waltzed out the door and downstairs to the kitchen.

"What's the plan?" I asked Valkyrie. Uncle Ghost was floatin' in the corner, lookin' sour.

"Skulduggery should be here soon," Valkyrie answered. "It'll be a long day; you need to eat something."

I slipped past her and placed a slice of bread in the toaster. I noticed Funny Bones pull up outside the house in his ancient car. He was strollin' up to the door when I heard Valkyrie breath, "Not a word, Gordon."

I pivoted and stared at Uncle Ghost and Valkyrie. "No guarantees," Uncle Ghost muttered back.

Oh God, he must know! Crap, if he tells, I'll be killed. He must have heard all the, um...noises.

"No need to go speechless as I enter a room," Funny Bones said happily. "Good morning, Gordon, Valkyrie, Sanguine."

"Howdy, Funny Bones."

"Capturing the guy went fine, I suppose?"

"Yeah, no real hitches or anything," Valkyrie added. "We were there for a long time before he showed up, but I insulted Sanguine many times, so it's all right now."

"Always a fun pastime."

The toast I made popped from the toaster, and I bit into it quickly. Uncle Ghost was glarin' at me real hard. Valkyrie could tell he was glarin' at me, but she tried to ignore this fact and continue talkin' with Funny Bones.

"So, what were you working on last night where you couldn't join us?" she asked, forcin' a smile.

"I can't say, really," Funny Bones responded.

"Well then I'll just have to sit here and speculate wildly about what you were doing all last night."

For the next hour, Valkyrie continuously shouted out stupid things Funny Bones coulda been doin' last night. I managed to restrain myself to not yell at her to shut the heck up, but when she continued as we climbed out of Funny Bones' stupid car, I turned to her and shouted, "Would you shut yer damn mouth? You're pissin' me off!"

She closed her mouth. "So sorry," she growled and pushed on past me.

I watched her walk on into the buildin' and then noticed Funny Bones starin' at me funny. His head was tilted to the side, like he was thinkin' real hard about something. I slunk past him, avoidin' his rather unnvervin' gaze.

I didn't know which room from this apartment buildin' we were in belonged to this Choir man, but Sanctuary agents kept comin' up and down the stairs, pretty much leadin' me to the room. Bespoke stood outside the room, talkin' with Valkyrie.

"I'm surprised you managed to catch him still while toting Sanguine around," Bespoke said happily. "Very nice work, Valkyrie."

She shrugged. "Sanguine's subdued now, I'd say."

"Maybe he'll stay like that, then."

"I'd really hope so."

"I hate you," I muttered, walkin' past 'em. I entered Choir's apartment and immediately wanted to leave. Daddy dearest was there, standin' in the corner. He almost instantly noticed me and shuffled over to me. I noticed his hands were cuffed together in the front.

"Good morning, son," he greeted me.

"Howdy," I replied coldly.

"Someone's upset."

"I only act this way for you, daddy dearest."

"How very nice of you."

I removed my sunglasses and picked at the frames. My gaze shifted over to Valkyrie as she stepped into the complex with Funny Bones behind her. They were both carryin' empty cardboard boxes.

"Sanguine!" Valkyrie called. "Get over here!"

I snarled and strolled over to her, but not before hearin' daddy dearest mutter, "Whipped…" I glared at him for a while, but Valkyrie finally called for me again.

"What do you want?" I asked when I approached her.

"We're here to get recollect all the things he stole," she said. "Help me find these things, please."

Valkyrie thrust a paper in my hands with names of objects written on them. A few objects had little drawins' of what they looked like. So, for the next hour or so, Valkyrie and I argued over whether or not this object looked like this drawin'. I wanted to die. And besides, I kept thinkin' about last night, which made things quite awkward. It got even worse when Valkyrie kept bendin' down all over the place to dig around in huge piles of junk in this dude's place. Dang!

We spent another solid hour picking up bits of crap in the list, but then Valkyrie stumbled upon something that wasn't on anyone's list at all. The object itself was a bright turquoise-y color, with a square pad on a little rectangle that jutted out from a sphere. The sphere was probably no bigger than 6 inches in diameter, I'd say. Valkyrie kept hittin' the square, since it was like a button. But no matter what she did, nothin' happened. The sphere didn't open or nothin'.

"Skulduggery, have you ever seen this?" Valkyrie asked him after playin' with the stupid thing for a bit.

He stopped his searchin' and examined the thing for a while. "I can't say that I have seen it, no," he managed to mutter. "Where did you find it?"

"It was just buried under a huge pile of clothes and artifacts and stuff. I can't get it to do anything, though. This square pushes in, but I don't know what it's supposed to do."

"We'll take it around and definitely go see China about it then," Funny Bones stated determinedly. He handed his box to a plain little guy to the side. Daddy dearest waved goodbye to me while still cuffed as we left the buildin'. Valkyrie explained the situation to Bespoke as Funny Bones started up his stupid car. Valkyrie beckoned me into her own car. She revved the engine and placed the object on the seat behind us.

"Stop being stupid about last night," Valkyrie muttered surprisin'ly after a while in silence. "No one can find out, got it?"

"Yeah, whatever. I ain't tryin'. I bet I'd be horribly killed if anyone ever found out."

Valkyrie laughed and nodded, agreein' with my statement. We drove on for a while after that, but then, completely out of NOWHERE, a giant freakin' thing slammed into the Mustang. Valkyrie shouted in surprise and jumped from the car before the thing could do it again. I flipped out of the door myself and rolled along on the ground a few feet away. I looked up and watched as Valkyrie tried punchin' and kickin' at a little green flyin' dude. He dodged each of her half-hearted attacks and swiped away at her face with huge claws. The talons contacted her and almost instantly blood poured from the wounds.

"Get up and help!" I heard Funny Bones shout suddenly. His ancient car was parked up ahead. He sprinted to try and help Valkyrie, but stopped when this thing stabbed the windows of the car and tore from it the little green object we found. Valkyrie swore profusely and tried to take him down, but the thing screeched insanely loudly and beat its wing and flew up and away. Funny Bones skidded to a stop next to Valkyrie and checked her wounds.

"Do they hurt badly?" he asked urgently.

Valkyrie numbly shook her head and removed her jacket, placin' it against her cheek and cleanin' up most of the blood. "I should still probably get these cleaned up," she muttered.

"Can you drive?"

"I should be fine."

Valkyrie kicked away the glass from the windows and flopped into the driver's seat. She turned the key and managed to get the car started again. Funny Bones came and stood by me as she drove off.

"Now what?"

"Now," Funny Bones said, "we go back to her uncle's home and try to find information on that object. Or whatever the heck that thing that stole it was."

He gestured for me to hurry it up. We both slid into the front seat, and Funny Bones sped off, goin' down the roads quick. Funny Bones pulled to the curb of the house after a bit, and he rushed straight in, goin' upstairs fast. I followed behind. He stopped at a dark door and swung it open.

"Gordon?" he called out.

Uncle Ghost materialized next to a box on a wooden desk. "Hello there, Skulduggery!" He waved happily to Funny Bones, and then glared at me, sayin', "And…Sanguine. Where's Valkyrie?"

Funny Bones calmly explained the situation to Uncle Ghost who got angrier as the story progressed. When Funny Bones wrapped it all up, he was just glarin' hard at me. Uncle Ghost answered a cold negative when Funny Bones asked if he had ever heard of the little green object or those little flyin' dudes. Apparently, Valkyrie's uncle believed I was responsible for her injuries.

"Hey, she's gonna be fine," I grumbled.

Uncle Ghost curled his lip and suddenly disappeared.

Funny Bones turned and said, "Any particular reason Gordon has an intense hatred for you?"

"Can't think of anythin', nope."

Funny Bones had removed his strange little disguise during the whole explanation or Valkyrie's whereabouts, and now he just stood there, fully exposin' his skull. His own black eye sockets kept starin' at me, like he was readin' my mind, and discoverin' the fact that I had, indeed, went to bed with Valkyrie.

"Well!" he suddenly said incredibly happily. "We should get reading."

He strode to a bookcase and selected a few thick volumes from the shelves. He tossed a few at me, and I watched him hunker on down in a large chair. He flipped through the pages for a few minutes, and when he realized I wasn't doin' anythin', directed me. I sat down in my own chair and flipped through the pages as well, scannin' for anything about that little creature or the green object.

A few hours later, and Valkyrie burst into the room. She looked considerably exhausted, but otherwise, her injuries were completely gone. Funny Bones watched her wordlessly pick up her own book and collapse on a couch in the corner. Valkyrie flipped open to a random page and began readin' herself. And so, I spent the whole night readin' in the study of the angry uncle of the girl I had actually went to bed with and her mentor, who will certainly kill me if ever found out.

Um, yeeah! Valguine

I made it to about half-way through this chapter before I had to stop and plan the whole dang thing out. I spent about two hours all together typing my plans for this out. I'm not 100% positive on the ending for it, but I know what basically needs to happen. Yeeep.

Thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes! :DDD