A/N 1: We're reaching the end, my friends, and I have to say that as short as it was it's been an intense journey. There will be one more part after lizzylizbian posted her final chapter to her masterpiece Unconventional Assistance. Thank you, lizzy, for letting me be the Santana to your Brittany.
A/N 2: I've thought this through and without wanting to disappoint anyone, this is going to be really short. The more I was writing for lizzy's chapter 7 the more I felt like I was taking away some of her magic. The purpose behind these letters was never to clarify ambiguities or spell out metaphors. I wanted to add Santana's emotions to the mix, not tell the whole story anew. This collaboration also worked so well, because both of us left many things unsaid.
So here's a little sweet something, a snippet from Santana's mind.
Chapter 7:
Dear Brittany,
Three times I have been startled awake tonight and each time I was confident I had been thrown back into those nights when I would reach out, your name on my lips, your scent filling my head, but my hands would come up empty, leaving me so disappointed.
Three times I woke up tonight and three times your name was on my lips and your scent filled my head and when I reached out…
…you were there.
This time my skin doesn't betray me when it tells me I can feel you.
One.
I touch your head and stroke your hair, let your blonde locks rinse through my fingers and enjoy the light tickle on my palm. Whatever I had imagined it would feel like, however tempting it was back then when I caught you snoozing at your desk, I had no idea. Had I had the slightest clue I wouldn't have waited this long to dive my hands into your golden silk.
And even in your sleep your lips form this sweet smile I fell in love with so much time ago: tiny and shy and brighter than anything I've ever seen.
I know I said next time I'd have to wake you, that I couldn't let you sleep. But who would have guessed this next time would be in a bed and I would be lying next to you?
I also said I couldn't let myself fall for you and yet I fell. I have fallen so deeply that I won't ever be able to get up again, even if I wanted to.
Dearest Brittany,
I hope you're having sweet dreams.
Two.
You are the one who's beautiful.
I could easily spend the rest of my life just watching you sleep, studying the lines of your face, tracing them with my index finger.
Maybe if I managed to draw a mental grid it would help my brain remember every detail. Maybe I could explore every inch of your body with my lips and my fingertips and the path I'd take would form a map in my head.
The world of Brittany, which I'll gladly learn by heart.
Maybe then I could quit pinching myself in disbelieve and finally understand that you are really here.
Three.
I bury my face in the crook of your neck, nuzzle the soft skin there and inhale my own breath, reflected back from you, mixed with your aroma.
You're still here with me.
And then a part of me wants you awake, wants more than just your body lying next to me, your head resting on my lap.
For the only thing that can ever compare to having you here is having you here, looking at me, looking into my eyes, letting me drown in those blue pools, sharing your soul with me.
The only thing that can compare is to have you talk to me and kiss me once again and once again and one more time and maybe just another time and just once more.
The only thing that could make me happier was if you'd wrap your arms around me and tell me you will never leave.
Three times I was startled awake tonight. Three times is not enough.
After all these hallucinations, nightmares and dreams I woke up just to realize I wasn't dreaming. You are not a succubus, you're not a fantasy, you are not haunting me. This vision that I had of you, it turned out to be a blessing not a curse.
All this time I was so afraid you would reject me and I hid. I hid behind corners where everyone but you could see me while you were pondering on obvious decisions.
But I woke up. I woke up in so many ways.
And now I will stay awake forever.
- S.