"Wreath wants me to come in to train tonight."

Funny Bones sighed. "Does he also wish you dead?"

Valkyrie laughed. "They've apparently set up a system that only allows the people they want to come in inside. And besides, I'll just kill them before they get me."

"Yes, and Sanguine lays a claim to your demise, too," Funny Bones added.

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. "I'll look forward to that, Sanguine."

I saluted her. "I look forward to it everyday."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and bent down to grab her boots and keys. She slipped on her shoes and waved at us. "Don't throw any wild parties," she said and left quickly.

Funny Bones chuckled and got up, sayin', "I need to go speak with Gordon."

"Sounds fun."

He strode away. I heard his soft footsteps on the second floor above stop at the study. The clock on the wall read eight at night, and I ended up decidin' to go upstairs myself and try to sleep. Stayin' up all night with Valkyrie and then bein' rudely awoke the next mornin' really sucks up all yer energy. I quietly crept past the study and flopped down into my specific room and fell asleep soon after.

"Sanguine, wake up."

"Why can I never get any sleep when I'm around you two," I groaned as I sat up. Funny Bones looked tense. "What's wrong?"

"The Temple was attacked again."

"Yeah, when isn't it attacked?" And then it hit me. "Oh. Anyone dead?"

"One dead, one injured."

"You'd probably be flailin' ery'where if Valkyrie was the dead one. She okay?"

"Wreath said her injuries were extensive, but the Temple medics have her now. We need to get over there now."

I stood up as he raced from the room. His dumb car was already started by the time I sat down into the front seat. Goin' way over the speed limit a few times, we got to the Temple fast. Wreath was standin' outside the gates, waitin' for us.

"How is she?" Funny Bones asked desperately.

He nodded to us and began treadin' down the stairs. "Valkyrie's breathing fine but is asleep for now. They medicated her to get her quieted down while they worked. Her arm was fractured in six places, and her shoulder was badly stabbed, along with a deep cut on her forehead. Our medics did what they could; but Valkyrie's strong. She'll make it through."

While he spoke, Wreath led us through hallway after hallway. He stopped abruptly at a smooth door and held it open for us. A man in black robes stood to the side.

"She's behind the curtain," he said softly.

Funny Bones suddenly broke off into a sprint practically and pushed away the curtains. I followed close behind. When I reached her bed, Funny Bones was standin' next to the bed and starin' at her sleepin' face.

Valkyrie looked…bad. Her face was cut and bruised in a few places, and the cut on her face was stitched up. She continuously twitched in her sleep, like she was dreamin'.

"She'll be fine," Wreath said from behind us.

Funny Bones turned to him sharply. "Naturally. It's Valkyrie Cain here. Now where's the body of the other person?"

Wreath gestured to follow him. Funny Bones pulled me along too. I figured he'd want to stay with Valkyrie or whatever. We traveled for a bit through the dark and windin' hallways. Wreath turned into a large room with the body.

The dead guy was sittin', slumped up against the wall. Normally, these dead here at the Temple had that awesome hole in their chest from a stake. But this guy…it seemed like his murder was personal. Or he had at least put up a fight. From what I could see, stab wounds were placed all around his body. One slice was right above his groin, and another cut into the stomach. His head had two long slashes travelin' from his ears down to the collarbone. A slit in the very middle of his forehead made it obvious that's how he finally died.

"That's an overkill I'd wager," Wreath muttered.

"Nah, this was just for torture," I said. "These wounds down here on his chest wouldn't kill him. At least I don't think so."

"And you know how?"

"I kill people for a career, Solomon Wreath. I know what just hurts and what kills. This guy must have just been really annoyin' to our murderers 'cause they had to have spent a while cuttin' him up like that. When did you find the body?"

"An hour ago."

Funny Bones asked, "When was Valkyrie attacked?"

"She was found three hours ago."

"So in the panic to get her safe again," Funny Bones said, "could you all have missed some horrible murderer sneak into here and kill this man?"

Wreath seemed hesitant. "I suppose that's a possibility." He paused and twirled his cane while sayin', "I do not like your tone of voice, Skulduggery. Are you implying that we Necromancers are unobservant and too stupid to even notice a body?"

"Well how can you miss a body like that?" I laughed. "There's blood everywhere, and I'm sure this guy would have tried callin' for help at some point."

"It's likely our culprit had him silenced."

"With what? One of those stupid robes you guys wear?"

Wreath suddenly got on the defensive and jammed him cane in my direction. "Watch your mouth, criminal," he growled.

"Yep, I seem to recall the news escapin' that you let out the one Remnant that then let out the whole bunch of 'em, which as ya'll know, led to that really fun time for Ireland where the whole world that you guys were all lunatics. Also you cost the lives of thousands. Y'know, just as a second little thing to add to your plate of failures."

Before he could lose himself totally, Funny Bones stepped forward. He pointed to the door. "You need to leave. Make sure Valkyrie's all right."

"Will do," I said, smilin'. I strode from the room, wavin' at them as I left. After quite a many wrong turns, I stumbled back upon the infirmary place.

"Valkyrie up yet?" I asked the guy at the front.

"She has not awoken yet, no."

"Goodie, goodie."

I pulled back the curtains and noticed she had rolled over. The blankets had fallen down a little, revealin' the skimpy and thin undershirt she wore. The bandages on her shoulders looked pretty fresh. I flopped down into the chair and put my feet on the foot of the bed. Maybe I shouldn't have pissed of Wreath. But it was fun…

Maybe two hours later, Funny Bones returned. I had been reduced to flippin' around my razor and pullin' the blade in and out again.

"How is she?"

"The exact same since you left her, Funny Bones."

He grabbed his own chair and removed his hat and scarf and placed them on the bed next to Valkyrie. His bizarre wig and sunglasses had been stuck in his pocket earlier. He leaned back into the chair and folded his hands in his lap and just sat. His skull was tilted to the side, and he kept his eye sockets trained on Valkyrie's face.

What's his deal anyway? What's their relationship like? It ain't romantic or anythin'. Oh God that'd be disgustin'; any type of romantic interaction with a skeleton would be terrible. No way would it work.

For the whole time I've known about these two, the fantastical partnership of Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain, I'd always been excited to see the two of them really get all intense and into it. I'd heard they were just such a great pair and so great and could take anyone out. From the past, I've seen them go around and be at least just interestin'. But now, as I'm just here with them all the time, I'm waitin' for these two to burst out and go into super detective mode and get crazy and investigate all up in everythin'.

Is it just 'cause I'm here? But half the time they ignore me. (Well, except at night when I'm with Valkyrie…) If they act the way they normally do, what'd happen? They think I'll go out and tell everyone about the cute conversations and bickerin' they have and do? Will I find out their greatest weakness by listenin' to their stupid little exchanges? I'm sure at least Valkyrie's afraid I'll try to join in or whatever, since she seems unable to listen to me speak for more than ten seconds. 'Course I can't stand too much with her either. Most times when she speaks, I wanna die. Funny Bones I don't mind as much, since he's not horrible.

I actually kinda think he's tryin' to get me and Valkyrie to at-least-nice terms. He keeps sendin' me away with her.

Unless he knows…

I know what me and Valkyrie have been doin' is totally wrong in every way, and there's a part in the back of my mind that keeps sayin' we should stop since we'll be found out. Somehow, it'll get out. I know it.

And when it does, I'll be killed. Heck knows what'll happen to Valkyrie. She'll probably be cast out. I guess it wouldn't be as bad if she were only sleepin' with a criminal who hadn't tried to kill her and her friends multiple times. Also if I hadn't stolen Tanith from them…

I guess I would feel pretty bad if Valkyrie was thrown out away from all her dumb Sanctuary buddies. What'd she do? She'd probably just run around chasin' me all day.

Wait.

I'd feel bad if that happened to Valkyrie?

Dear God, I hope I ain't developin' feelin's for that awful girl…

Derp.

Heeeee, I gots me a boyfriend :333 (In case you were wondering…) ALSO. I officially finished my FIRST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL WHOOO. Summer's starting up and I'm going to write the heck out of it~ And next year, I'm going to the super fancy new smart kids school. I GET A LAPTOP FROM IT.

So yeah. Um, thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes! :DDD