Valkyrie pulled her legs to her chest as the minutes dragged by. "I hate you," she whispered.

"Bespoke issued your fake house arrest; don't blame it all on me, li'l darlin'."

"I wasn't doing anything wrong…"

"You harassed an old woman and pushed her away while chasin' a guy who was only runnin' because you were chasin' him! You've cracked, li'l darlin'."

Valkyrie stuck her tongue out and refused to say anything else. She cocked her head at the sound of the front door rattlin' open and soft footsteps a while later. I watched the entryway to the kitchen and stared in disbelief as Funny Bones strolled right on in and sat himself down neatly across from Valkyrie. By her face, she was just as shocked as I.

"I figured that since I've been missing for a week," he said happily, "I don't need to have any grand entrance. I think I generated the desired effect, wouldn't you say, Sanguine?"

He turned to me and seemed to smile.

"Sure thing, Funny Bones…"

"Good, good. How have you two been?" he asked. "Valkyrie, I bet you've been out looking for me like a madwoman."

Valkyrie glared and stood up. "You're a moron," she groaned. She reached for her phone on the counter and quickly called Bespoke to call off all the search parties since she'd found him. Funny Bones shouted from the back that he had found us.

Valkyrie sat back down. "All right, where have you been all this time?"

Funny Bones shrugged. "Up north, quite far away from here. It was a pretty old building, but not so old that it was going to fall apart."

"Was it Scarab who kidnapped you?"

"Scarab? No. It was one of those flying monsters. He just came swooping down and lifted me up and away. Maybe Scarab was in the building, but he never showed himself. My captors, besides the giant creature, were two German men. I'm assuming they're German, since all they did was shout at me in German."

"Could you pick up anything?"

"I know the basics of the language, but since they were native speakers, I couldn't pick up anything useful. I believe they were talking about a woman for a while, since they kept using the pronoun for it. Oh, actually, one did speak some English."

"What did they say?" Valkyrie asked all frantically.

"He specifically said, 'We want that girl.' to which I replied, 'I don't know where Jessie's girl is.' So he got angry and punched the wall."

"Sounds…real fun."

"It was."

"What girl was he talking about?" Valkyrie asked. "Not me, right?"

Funny Bones shrugged. "There are many girls in my life, Valkyrie. There's China, for one. And also Sharon, Finbar's wife."

"You've never even met Sharon, Skulduggery."

"Well, she's still a girl. Don't forget Madame Mist, Ravel's girlfriend, whatever her name is, and well, there are many others. Of course, he went on to say that he wanted the Death Bringer, so that narrows down my selection of females, no?"

Valkyrie groaned and put her face in her hands. "Why do they want the Death Bringer?"

"Oh, just to destroy the world. What else does the Death Bringer do?"

"Apparently not much else," Valkyrie replied. "What did you say after that?"

"I told them I wouldn't tell them where she was, and that they couldn't have the Death Bringer. 'She's much too busy,' I said to them. They got angry and left after that. Later they said they wanted to use the Death Bringer to use their power and go on a rampage. I suppose it's stereotypical: they want world domination."

"Well why haven't they…They killed all those Necromancers at the Temple because they're looking for me!" Valkyrie cried out in frustration and stood up and paced the kitchen.

"Well that's a pretty far jump, don't ya think, li'l darlin'?" I muttered.

"No, all those people had helped me with training."

"And ya didn't realize this before because?"

"They only worked with me for a few days at most," she replied. "If they really wanted to know my location, they'd ask Solomon Wreath. Or Melancholia. She'd tell them where I am."

Funny Bones suddenly added, "I suppose it's safe to say that Sanguine here knows you're the supposed Death Bringer?"

"Known for a while, Funny Bones."

"Ah, good to know." He paused. "But anyway, Valkyrie, if that's the case, why haven't they ignored all the other people and just headed for someone close, like Wreath?"

"Wreath doesn't have a super fancy title," Valkyrie explained. "All the other people who were killed had special, higher-ranking titles. He took me in as an apprentice, like you did, Skulduggery."

"Of course, since I was MIA." He laughed a little. Apparently I was missin' some big joke.

"What? Where were you?" I asked.

"Valkyrie can explain it later," Funny Bones simply replied.

She groaned and rolled her eyes. "Did your kidnappers reveal anything else?"

"Not specifically, no."

"And that means…?"

"One muttered, 'Kill more then.' I took that as they'll just go about killing more Necromancers since no one will reveal the location of the Death Bringer?"

"Seems silly," I added.

"What is?"

"The fact that everyone is protectin' you, li'l darlin'. Yer not worth much, ya know."

She laughed quietly and bit her lip, sayin', "They're not out to protect me; they're protecting their Death Bringer. No one touches the Death Bringer unless they say, kind of."

"Well how come they don't keep ya locked up in a cell where no one can get to ya?"

She shrugged. "I bet they could if they wanted to. I suppose it's because I don't want that, and what the Death Bringer says, goes."

"But then why aren't you commandin' a whole legion of Necromancers?"

"They don't like Valkyrie Cain," Funny Bones said plainly. "They do like the Death Bringer. When the time comes, I suppose she'll get control. When the world begins to end and death needs to be brought…" He trailed off and looked at Valkyrie.

She shrugged again and sighed. "We should really probably go stop those two bad guys, don't you think?"

"I'd much prefer to stay here, li'l darlin'."

"Well, your opinion is not important."

"Not now," Funny Bones, standin' up. "I need to get to the Sanctuary. Stay here, and I'll be back later."

Valkyrie sighed. "Wait," she suddenly exclaimed. "How did you even escape?"

Funny Bones turned and stood still a moment. "With a little help from my friends." A beat of silence, and he continued, "I get high with a little help from my frieeeeends."

"Oh, sure, thanks, John Lennon. I appreciate it."

He waved. "I promise not to go missing this time," he called as he left the house and shut the door.

Valkyrie sighed. "Okay, let's get going."

"Wait, where? Funny Bones said to stay still."

"And I listen to Skulduggery? Come on, get up."

"Valkyrie, I ain't leavin'."

"Yes, you are."

"'Fraid I ain't. And technically, Bespoke never lifted that house arrest of yours. You saw how serious he was 'bout it. You'll probably get yelled at real bad."

"Ghastly loves me."

"He won't when he finds out you've defied him totally and ran around to try and find some crazy Germans bent on using you to destroy the world. Do you have a death wish or somethin'?"

"Why do you suddenly care so much!"

"I…I, eh…I want to be the guy who kills you. Duh! Haven't ya gotten that through yer thick head?"

Valkyrie didn't move for a minute. She finally nodded once and left the room. She returned shortly with her huge-ass gun. She disassembled it and cleaned each and every piece slowly. When she put it all back together, she simply muttered, "Auf Wiedersehen."

She means business.

Okay. Fine. This chapter was God-awful. I understand. It's okay. It was mostly to get my plot moving again, so whatever. I apologize.

So I probably won't have chapter 18 up yet by the time I leave on the 31st of July, and I'll return that next Saturday, the 6th. It'll be an intense week of...interesting things. Send up a little prayer for my whole group if you feel it :)

But thanks for reading anyway and sorry for any mistakes! :)