Peripheral Reality

Chapter 3

No one could know about this. Kakarot had reminded himself this fact multiple times even as he fell harder for Goku with each day. The time he spent in the furred Saiyan's presence was some of the happiest time of his life, even if it was passed entirely in secret. Not even Radditz or Vegeta could know about this. Especially not Radditz. If word found its way to his father that his youngest son was breaking one of the sacred laws of mating by being with another when he was betrothed... he didn't want to think about it.

Kakarot scowled. He wasn't mated yet. And though the day when he turned twenty-three and was bound to Broly for life drew ever closer, the spark of passion that had been lit between he and his selfsame counterpart did not diminish.

As Goku's injuries healed, he eventually began to explore the city, seeming fascinated by the Saiyans' way of living. Even just the simple things; like the fact that none of the windows had glass except in the palace, or that a typical Saiyan greeting was ramming their fists together, or, for some more exuberant individuals, a hearty headbutt. Kakarot was eager to show his company everything about the world he'd never seen, trying to imagine what it would be like to grow up on a different planet than home. He'd been to other worlds of course, on scouting and battle missions, but he couldn't picture living on one of those foreign planets.

Goku kept up an almost constant stream of questions, asking for explanation of elementary concepts and pointing out little things he'd apparently never seen before. And as Kakarot gave him a thorough tour of the city, so he also gradually sated his own craving to know more about Goku. With every answer he gave he gained knowledge of the other's experiences, as Goku compared this world to the one he'd known.

It was hard to hide his desire while in the presence of the object of it. Whenever they passed a deserted alleyway or a conveniently placed tree, Kakarot would pull Goku to his side and kiss him in secret, devouring his mouth hungrily and purring with temporary contentment. Goku was a willing participant, and conceded with the need for secrecy, even if he didn't know why... at least, Kakarot didn't think he knew. He didn't know if he could hide his betrothal from his older counterpart, but he was afraid if he told him, Goku wouldn't be willing to be with him anymore. I know I can't keep him... but I don't want to lose him, at least not yet.

The sex was amazing. Kakarot learned pretty early-on that Goku was extremely flexible about who was "on top", and with his injuries and bandages no longer hindering so much of his movement, he was able to show Kakarot some new and engaging positions that were nothing short of incredible. Sometimes he let Kakarot take total control, responding enthusiastically and giving suggestions to further pleasure them both. Other times the red-furred Saiyan was the dominant, pulling multiple screaming orgasms from his blonde partner as he demonstrated just how skilled he could be in the art of pounding someone into a mattress. And while he obligingly smiled and sometimes blushed when Kakarot murmured that he loved him repeatedly, Kakarot noticed he never returned it. He hadn't heard the word "love" from Goku's lips yet, and while the older Saiyan could turn Kakarot's blood to fire with his purred litanies describing precisely how sexy and beautiful the blonde was... Kakarot couldn't help but feel disheartened by the awkward pause whenever he told Goku he loved him, and the furred Saiyan would always change the subject afterwards. He didn't seem disturbed by the fact that Kakarot was essentially admitting to falling in love with himself, but there was something uncomfortable under the surface of his quiet acceptance.

It was rather surprising how quickly their relationship had fallen together. True, Goku was kind of stuck on this planet, having no way back to his own world, but he could have been a lot less willing to give Kakarot what he thrived on now. It had only been a week or two since he'd found the older Saiyan unconscious in the woods, and they acted like they'd been together their whole lives, especially in private when they could indulge more... intimately. Kakarot laughed grimly and shook his head at the thought. He was actually amazed Radditz or Vegeta hadn't figured out just how closely the two were involved.

The prince was wary of Goku at first, Kakarot had suspected he would be. But it seemed Goku possessed the same ability as he himself, the ability to penetrate Vegeta's wall of cold-shouldered princely arrogance, and Vegeta had warmed up to him the same way he had with Kakarot, though the blonde Saiyan doubted he knew that Goku was Kakarot.

Radditz was another matter. While his brother didn't appear to have anything against Goku, he just seemed to not trust him. Kakarot thought that if either of the two was going to figure out Goku's true identity and their narcissistic relationship with each other, it would probably be Radditz, if only because the long-haired Saiyan probably wouldn't give up snooping and prying if he found anything suspicious. And that was not a good thing.

X

It was damn strange being in a relationship with himself. Goku didn't think it was awkward or anything; quite the opposite, they knew next to everything about each other, so he was actually much more comfortable around his blonde twin than he was around most anyone else. But... it was just the awareness that every time he looked at Kakarot he was looking at himself, every time he drew a moan or a purr from him he was actually pleasuring himself. Another version of himself admittedly, but there was just something about their arrangement that made Goku nervous. Not always nervous in a bad way, but nervous nonetheless.

And Kakarot had said he was falling in love with him. He wasn't sure how to react to this. Can you even fall in love with yourself? Was it even possible? He could easily admit that he was attracted to himself... okay easily wasn't the best description for it. He was able to admit it, anyway. He could let his eyes rove over Kakarot and admire his musculature and the lithe grace of his young body in more than just a comradely way. He could taste the sweat on his skin and kiss the breath out of him without feeling anything but intensive pleasure and lust, and the sex was absolutely fantastic. But love? … He didn't know if he could admit that so willingly, or at all. He knew he was disappointing Kakarot every time he hesitated, unable to bring himself to say it, but he couldn't say the words if he didn't mean them wholeheartedly, and he didn't yet. Maybe he never would.

Still, he gave Kakarot everything he could. He hadn't expected them to grow so close, so intimate, in such a short time, but there was something about knowing each other so wholly and completely that washed away any of the initial doubt and tentativeness that usually preceded a relationship. They didn't have to take it slow or get to know each other, and they could reap the rewards with none of the consequence. There was a very slight bend in what would otherwise be a perfectly mutual exchange, and that was that the emotional factor was so lopsided. Kakarot loved Goku, but he couldn't return that sentiment.

Kakarot though... Well, Kakarot was an enthusiast, both in the sexual side of this and just about everything else. Oh yes, the blonde Saiyan was a very eager partner, his desire utterly bottomless; his innocence both shining forth in his almost naïve belief in romance, and tampered by his methods of sating unchained lust. He was a contradiction, very like Goku himself even in his differences. And he was fascinating.

As Goku learned more and more about the planet he found himself on, he regretted that he'd never seen it before until now. He kept comparing and contrasting it with Earth, and he was no longer sure which he was supposed to consider his home. He was born on Vegeta-sei but raised on Earth... where did he actually belong?

He'd met this planet's prince Vegeta, and he was much the same as the Vegeta he knew back on Earth. He was younger, yes, and much less cold. He was as arrogant as ever though, and while he wasn't a Super Saiyan – yet, the prince kept insisting they say he hadn't ascended yet – he sure as hell acted like it.

Radditz was the same as Goku remembered. Distrustful, with a terrible sense of humor – though not as sadistic as Goku had experienced firsthand – and the tendency to talk way too much. Since he wasn't trying to kill Goku, he allowed himself to actually see the long-haired Saiyan as his brother; something he'd never let himself do before. He felt a slight stab of regret as he thought of how he'd killed Radditz and never got to experience the kin relationship that Kakarot and Radditz took for granted.

But the main reason he was reluctant whenever his mind kept reminding him he should be finding a way back to Earth was definitely Kakarot. He hadn't had the companionship and trust that he'd found with his counterpart in a really long time. He'd missed being able to talk to someone, to tell them anything and everything; even just to kiss someone again was amazing relief from the loneliness that had been plaguing him since ChiChi's death.

And, even if he couldn't tell Kakarot the same, just hearing the blonde Saiyan whisper "I love you," over and over was indescribably amazing.

X

"Nngh... ah..! More, Kakarot!" Goku pleaded through clenched teeth, on his elbows and knees as Kakarot plunged into him again and again, making the fur along his shoulders and lower back fluff out as he laid biting kisses on the long tail repeatedly flicking him in the face. Sweat rolled down Kakarot's forehead, tangling in his blonde bangs and running down his neck and shoulders. He deliberately kept his pace controlled and slow, wanting to hear Goku beg him.

"Kaka..." Goku began in a low groan, knotting his fingers in the sheets around him and trying in vain to increase the contact that Kakarot purposely kept minimal, "Damn it..."

Kakarot ran his fingers gently through the lush fur swathed across his partner's spine, all but petting him, and a deep purr rumbled from the older Saiyan's chest, the sound slightly jaded by frustration.

Leaning across Goku's back, Kakarot nipped at his hair before murmuring sensuously in his ear, "Tell me... what do you want?" A lick to the soft shell of his counterpart's ear and he withdrew.

"Kakarrrrot..." Goku purred, a plea as well as an answer.

Kakarot smirked, teasing the other's turgid arousal with a light flick of his tail.

Goku gulped for breath, his forehead almost touching the mattress as his back arched like a cat's, his fingers still clenched in the sheets. Kakarot drew back slowly, keeping the head of his cock tantalizingly within his partner. Goku growled in desperation, his eyes squeezed shut.

"Please!" he begged.

Satisfaction rushed through Kakarot and he obliged, flipping the furred Saiyan over on his back and sinking in deep, taking possession of Goku's mouth and delving past his lips with his tongue when they opened for him. It only took three frantic thrusts to bring Goku to the edge, and he was tipped over it when Kakarot's hand wrapped around his arousal, his thumb running over the head which was steadily dripping pre-cum. Goku released a ragged shout as he threw his head back, his essence coating Kakarot's hand. The vocalization caused Kakarot's groin to tighten, and his hips thrust once more before his climax roared through him, his mind going completely blank as it did.

X

Kakarot was getting extremely good at that. Goku gasped for breath, on his back, struggling to bring his pulse back to normal. In fact, he thought, if he got any better at it I'd probably pass out.

Kakarot brought his hand to his mouth and licked his fingers almost distractedly, cleaning Goku's seed from them. Then he lay next to Goku and fixed his green gaze on the ceiling contemplatively.

Goku wondered what he was thinking so hard about. His own breathing was still rough from the recent release and Kakarot's exhaling was audible as well. His blonde eyebrows were furrowed with something that fell between confusion and indecision. Eventually he spoke.

"Why don't you love me?" he asked quietly.

Goku blinked; not at the question, he'd expected to be asked that sooner or later. It was Kakarot's tone of voice. It was forcibly light and casual, as if he were asking about the weather, but beneath that was an undertone that seemed crestfallen and even frustrated.

"I..." Goku began, knowing he had to pick his words wisely, "It's not like I haven't thought about it," he said finally, "I just... I don't think I can yet. I can't say why."

"Yet?" Kakarot asked, sounding slightly hopeful.

"We've only known each other for two weeks," Goku pointed out, "No one can suddenly fall in love that quickly."

"I did," Kakarot murmured, almost too softly to hear.

Goku looked at him, and was surprised to see a depth of guilt there. What did he have to be guilty about?

"It was almost instantaneous," the blonde Saiyan went on, tail flicking slowly, "From the moment you looked at me... I was caught."

The younger Saiyan's sharp verdant eyes landed on his gold ones rather suddenly.

"What have I done that's not enough for you?" he snapped, and Goku heard that frustration again, "I've given you all I've got and I know it's only been two weeks, but I..." he broke off with a sigh, "I hate feeling this way alone."

"Kakarot," Goku said carefully, "Look, it's not that I don't care for you. I do, a lot. I want to stay here with you and never let you go... I love being with you..."

Kakarot broke in, confusion lacing his voice again, "Why did this happen so quickly though? I just... I met you and suddenly wanted to be with you forever..."

Goku started to say something, but he interrupted.

"I'm so confused. I know I love you, I know it. But... you... you're me, I... I'm not supposed to... to fall for you."

Goku thought for a moment before saying quietly, "Where is that rule written?"

Kakarot's gaze snapped to his again, "What?"

Goku sat up slowly, looking down at the younger version of himself.

"Where is it written that you can't love yourself?"

"You can," Kakarot muttered, the moment's hopefulness fading from his face to be replaced by dejection, "You can't be in love with yourself."

"Like hell you can't," a familiar voice spoke, and both Kakarot and Goku jumped and whirled around in time to see Vegeta leap lightly off the windowsill and turn to them, crossing his arms over his chest.

X

"V-Vegeta!" Kakarot stammered, shock rushing through him as the prince looked at him with his fiery black eyes, tail swishing at his side.

The prince's gaze shifted to land on Goku, and the furred Saiyan said the exact opposite of what he'd expected him to.

"Gods, Vegeta, would you look away for a second?" he growled. Kakarot was suddenly very conscious that he and Goku were both naked.

A short laugh sounded from the prince, but whether it was mocking or simply amused, Kakarot wasn't sure. Vegeta did not, however, look away as asked.

Goku threw Kakarot's black spandex leggings to him and slipped on his own loose pants, standing up and looking at Vegeta with equal measures of perplexity and defiance.

Kakarot stood as well, but he wasn't sure if his legs would support him. Vegeta was going to accuse him of going against his betrothal to Broly, he just knew it. And then his relationship with Goku – however brief – would be over.

"What did you just say?" Goku said bluntly to Vegeta.

The prince rolled his eyes, "I said 'like hell you can't.'" he reiterated, coiling his tail around his waist like a belt, Kakarot felt inclined to join him in that, but kept his own furry appendage still.

"Like hell you can't what?" Kakarot asked, his voice coming out like a whimper, much to his dismay.

Vegeta's arms uncrossed themselves as his gaze turned to Kakarot's.

"Like hell you can't be in love with yourself." he said shortly.

Kakarot's breath hitched. Gods, now Vegeta knew he and Goku were the same person. What would he do with this information? Surely not keep it to himself?

"You can be in love with whomever the fuck you want, but whether you should be," the prince continued, "Is another question entirely."

His dark eyes landed on Goku again, "How long were you going to keep that a secret?" he growled.

"Keep what a secret?" Goku asked blankly.

"That you and Kakarot are the same person! You were really just going to keep it silent until someone else figured it out?"

"You knew?" Kakarot breathed.

Vegeta snorted, "'Course I knew. Since I met the idiot, I knew who he was. You, Kakarot, are unlike anybody else in the universe – and no, I'm not complimenting you, there's no need to look proud, - so the only way this furry excuse for a Saiyan could be exactly like you was if you and he were one and the same." His eyes roved over Goku's chest, where Kakarot had left marks with his teeth and nails when he'd ravished him, "However," the prince muttered, "I did not expect this."

"Please don't tell Father," Kakarot implored, tail lashing with anxiety, "He'll... I.. I can't... I won't..."

Vegeta interrupted his babbling with a decisive slash of his chestnut tail, "Calm yourself, I'm not about to go running to Bardock with a story about the planet's most intensive masturbation scandal," Goku's face was crossed with offense when he said this, and Kakarot assumed his had done the same.

"But," Vegeta leaned close to Kakarot so that he could look piercingly into his eyes, "If I were you, Kakarot, I'd cut off the loose ends before you get tangled in something ugly."

Kakarot swallowed hard. He knew Vegeta was referring to his arranged mating with Broly. He was only glad the prince hadn't said it outright.

"You two want to fuck each other's brains out until someone besides me – aren't I so graciously forgiving? - puts two and two together and forces you apart anyway? Go ahead. But I think something as personal as love shouldn't be wasted on your own self," his gaze snapped to Goku for a moment before returning to Kakarot, "That's what jerking off is for."

And with that, the prince left the way he'd came – through the window – leaving both versions of the same person seriously questioning in their minds whether he was friend or foe.

TBC