Chapter 4.
"We are close," said Hydranoid, "very close." Alice shivered at the hidden severity in his voice. This place affected her the more she wandered into its wilderness. She hated to say it, but the same was happening for Hydranoid. His guise was slowly darkening, Alice could see it. What was happening? It wasn't just the 'energy', it was something else… but it was undetectable.
"Hydranoid?"
"Yes?"
"I'm scared…"
…Back on Earth…
Michael Gehabich toyed around with his screw-driver. The device he was working on was supposed to make the portal go faster. Just a few tweaks and he'd be done… he hoped.
Alice had been gone two days, she had been gone before, but this time… this time carried a certain sense of foreboding. Dr. Gehabich missed her. She hadn't even given a specific time to when she would return. She left. He sighed heavily, and continued tweaking his gadget. Two days later, and the blunt sadness would not wear away. He should be used to this, he chastised himself. Michael tried to keep his thoughts straying to his dear grand-daughter… it's just he couldn't stop worrying…
He probably should have disapproved of this from the start, but he swore he'd let her make her own decisions in life. Back then, back when… no! Not to the past, not now. Sighing again, Michael put down the mass of wires and metal; it was no use trying to concentrate. Instead, he let his thoughts crash in. Michael placed a quivering hand on the picture taken four years ago; the same one Alice looked to when he was gone.
"Alice, I hope you are well," said the tired man.
He laid down softly, his eyes aimlessly wandering the ceiling, and soon fell asleep, the picture cuddled in his arms.
…Back in Vestroia…
The dark opening leered at her silently; Alice took a step forward toward the cave. It seemed to call to her from beyond the grave; it was silent, but it beckoned her. In a trance, Alice slowly stepped to the cave.
She tried to go further, but her conscious stopped her, she was scared. Was she really ready to know the truth about herself and Masquerade? The answer, she didn't want to face.
…In Earth…
The shrill ringing of the phone shook Michael out of his skin. "Coming!" he yelped, to no-one in particular. Tiredly, he stretched to reach the phone that stood a couple of feet away. "H-hello?" he asked groggily. From the other line, a female voice answered, "Hello? Is this Dr. Michael? Can I please speak with Alice?" The scientist briefly noted the worry in her voice. Rattling his brains for a suitable excuse, he blurted out that Alice had to go on a trip. "A trip? To where? Is that why she's not been coming online to video-chat?"
Speechless, Michael resorted the next sentence that jumped into his mind.
"Who is this? I could leave a message."
"Runo Misaki, Dr. Michael," the voice said impatiently. "Please can you tell me where Alice has gone? She hasn't called, chatted or communicated with me at all the past two weeks. I'm worried!"
A bit startled at the youngster's voice, Michael gave her a half-truth, "Sorry, Miss. Misaki, but Alice has gone on a journey along with her Hydranoid. She hasn't exactly given me where she went," he said between his teeth.
"You haven't any idea where Alice is?" Runo said almost angrily.
"Uh… no, none at all," lied the doctor sadly.
"Um, okay, thanks for your help," Runo said slowly. She hung up the phone before he could say anything.
He's lying, was the only thought that came to her head.
"Beep!" went the phone, "beep! beep!"
Come on Julie, pick up, pick up! Runo thought. The blue-haired girl tapped her foot hastily.
"Uh, hello? Who's there?" a chirpy voice perked the other end.
"Julie! Thank goodness, it's you!" Runo smiled with relief. This was one time in where she was happy to hear the silver-haired girl. "Take a chill pill, Runo! What's up?" asked Julie, her voice chirpier than before. Runo sighed, and hit her point, "Julie, I'm seriously worried-"
"About who?"
"Listen to me!" snapped Runo. He had no time for this. "I'm worried about Alice, that's who."
"Runo, you SERIOUSLY need to calm down. Alice's fine, I can bet on it!"
"Oh really?" said Runo, her eyes narrowing slightly, "then listen to this. Alice hasn't talked to me for three weeks! Just now, I called Moscow, and Alice's grandfather picked up. He sounded really stressed, like he hadn't been getting much sleep. I asked him where Alice was, and he said, 'she went on a journey', but he wouldn't even say where! He said he didn't know, he said Alice never told him."
"Whoa, seriously? Alice ALWAYS tells her grandfather where she goes, ALWAYS," stressed Julie.
"Exactly. He was lying," Runo concluded.
"Maybe…like, he didn't want you to know…?" said Julie hopelessly.
"WHY, Julie? Alice's my best friend, anything happens, she tells me. She contacts me EVERY WEEK at least. Now she's gone… on some random journey? And Dr. Michael doesn't wanna spill? Julie, this feels seriously weird. Nothing's right. Something's up, and I'm gonna find out what."
"Okay then, I'm in. Alice is my best friend too" For the first time, Julie's bubbly attitude took a stand.
"Thank you."
…in Vestroia…
"…must I?" The hollow question echoed soundlessly in her mind.
Hydranoid looked at her expectantly, "Alice, you've come this far. The least you could do is continue. Don't question yourself now."
"I don't know…" The same, helpless answer vibrated the air.
Every emotion Alice had ever felt seemed to stop her putting one foot into the cave. Her mind was so in question, but there was no answer: Why was this happening? How was it happening? All this emotion intensity; it burned her, she was at their will. All was against her: she hated herself for leaving her grandfather, her guilt of the past was coming back, it drowned her; Alice thought she had reduced it to a shimmer, but now…
On her plate of despair, Alice felt her deep insecurity rise again to cut her; it made her bleed tears. All this blinded her, she, this… made no sense, she had to fight herself, it seemed.
"Alice!" screamed Hydranoid.
She didn't hear him, she only heard the mocks of the past. They taunted her, they forced her to the corner of her being. "I'm…I'm sorry!" she sobbed. "I'm sorry, Hydranoid! I'm sorry… everyone…"
Her bakugan could only watch in bewilderment. "What's happening…?" he whispered.
Grief. Pain. Sadness. Resentment. Hate. And most of all, insecurity. All bombarded her with questions, at their full impact. Inside herself, she couldn't turn. Wherever she went, she was greeted unpleasantly by one of her dreaded emotions. They all haunted her. She was hit with one final sanction; she wouldn't continue. Her hated emotions were the victor. To continue was to seek confirmation within herself…
And she couldn't even do that.
Hydranoid watched his mistress fearfully. He could feel her pain. It seemed to lather out of her in supple amounts.
He watched her tears track down her face slowly. This was like a dramatized ending.
"Alice, please… help yourself."
"I c-can't," she stuttered. A very sorry state. Hydranoid had to strain down on his resolve to stop breaking down as well. "Please… Alice…" he almost whispered.
Looking at him with puffy eyes, Alice whispered, "What can I do, Hydranoid? I said I was not alone, but I am. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I don't. It's like… my world has lost its meaning. I don't even know where I am…" She broke into quiet sobs. "Alice, what happened? You were so sure…"
"And now I'm not…" came the muffled reply. "Hydranoid, I can't go in there. I don't know what's happening, but everything is against me. Everything."
"How would you know?"
"I can feel it. I'm sorry, Hydranoid. I'm sorry for dragging you all this way for nothing. If you want to go home, I understand…"
"Alice! Listen to yourself! You're not making sense!" Hydranoid blew up. "Why the sudden change in mind. I thought you wanted to help!"
"And I do… but I can't. Everything's stopping me…"
Hydranoid groaned in frustration. Something was very odd here. Alice was never quite so dramatic. She didn't make sense. What was stopping her?
She sat, now curled at the foot of the cave. "They're all out to get me…" she whispered, her tear-stained eyes wide in fear.
For Alice, the emotions inside her were almost at the boiling point. They bustled inside her, wanting to be let out. It pained her to no end. All her nightmarish emotions were coming true. But Alice hardened. No, she thought, I'm not going to make others suffer because of my problems. She squeezed her eyes tight. Please let the pain go away… Please…
"Alice…" said someone.
Masquerade… right? At this point she couldn't distinguish friend from foe, herself from her thoughts, all she wanted was for the endless array of pain to go.
"Masquerade…?" she whispered.
"Yes. I can still feel your pain, though I've blocked it. The power is enormous. I can sense it's tearing at your flesh and soul. How are you not thrashing around? You just curl there, trembling, crying. You don't even share your pain with your bakugan. Why?"
"I share pain with no one!" Alice said aggressively. Ringing, loud ringing, almost horrific. Why didn't Masquerade stop talking? Why did it feel like she wanted to die? How could he remain so calm? He was part of her, wasn't he? Why did it feel like her heart was burning…? Why…?
"Ah, so many questions… I can still sense them, you know?"
Alice growled. This pain… it was twisting her mind; she couldn't think straight.
"I can't, I can't…' she whimpered.
"You can," he said simply. "You just don't know how. Do you have doubts…?"
"Yes. S-should I go on? Must I go on…?" Alice had a hard time choosing her words. "T-the future could ch-change both of us drastically. The reality has f-finally c-come crashing in… I don't know why it hurts so much, but the truth is unavoidable… I just d- don't know anymore… I need help…"
"Second thoughts?"
"Yes," she whispered. The pain seemed to dim by a centimeter, but it was there.
"Good, the first step is to admit it," said Masquerade, speaking slowly. "But the ultimate choice is yours… DO you want to continue and find your answers?"
Alice froze. Everything over the course of the last few days came crashing down on her: what she learned, saw, it all added to her pool. But her heart was telling her to give up. It told her to just forget about it. But her brain said the opposite… under the pressuring emotions, all the pain, choosing between her heart and mind, Alice broke down again. The pain sliced her again, this time with more bloodshed than ever.
Masquerade showed no reaction. He spoke, "Maybe you're frightened. Maybe you were all along. You're hiding, like you've done everything else."
"B-but sh-should it hurt so much?" said Alice with closed eyes.
No answer.
"H-how do I break my fear, then?"
"It all goes down to you. So, do you want to continue." He asked it happily. Almost as if it were a trivia question.
Alice thought briefly about the future. Her pain ate her thoughts. They controlled them, but, she was allowed one moment of brief control. Alice wondered if continuing this journey would bring her more pain than it already did.
"I'll have to find out… the hard way." Sitting up slowly (her body ached), she raised her head to the sky and said,
"Yes. I'm continuing."
Hi! Again, sorry for not updating in so long. You wouldn't believe the amount of homework I had! Thank you for all the nice reviews. I was really happy when I read them. To XxDarkGirl123xX: Thanks so much for the review! ;) Also, yes, this story will have some Shun/Alice in it. but I know that many readers are Masquerade/Alice fans, so it's only fair to abide to their needs too. I'm not going to make Masquerade and Alice a couple, but I will put many 'friendship' moments, so they'll be satisfied. I'm going to try and put in Dan/Runo where possible, too. Also, you know, I'm as much of an SxA fanatic as you are! ;) But I like Alice slightly more... :P I share the same views as you on MxA, but that doesn't stop me reading fics of them (romantic or not). Anyway, just sayin'. To Crystal-mint: Thanks for reviewing my story! I just love all of yours! I've already made a decision now, thank you :). So, no worries. Thanks for the encouragement, though! Hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story!
You might have noticed I put Runo in the chapter, as well as Julie. Well, be sure that I will put more appearances of the brawlers from now on. So, look sharp! :P
Thank you for reading, and sorry, sorry (x500) that I didn't update earlier. Well, hopefully after this long chapter, you'll forgive me! ;)
PLEASE review! :)