Katherine never got tired of watching her younger sister dance. Despite having chosen a very different path from Karina, Kat had always respected what the young woman had achieved over the years.
Karina is a lot more like Mom than I am. I can just imagine how proud Mom would be to know that her little girl is training dancers on Broadway, and choreographing entire numbers. Kari is so talented, I only wish...
Kat broke the thought off to watch Karina and Calley's bodies in motion, springing across the mat in the finished basement as if they had the same gravity-defying ease as their ninja counterparts.
I never saw Karina with Raphael, not in a million years, she thought with amusement. But it's an undeniable match. I never imagined her or Brandon meeting the turtles. I thought they were happy with their lives in California, and that they didn't need to know about the guys. Looking back, I don't understand how I could have been so blind...or selfish. Some "big sister" I've been.
The exercise Karina was leading the younger woman in was growing more intricate, but Katherine wouldn't have known from the easy expression on Calley's face. The effort appeared to have little or no effect on the blond woman's spirit. It was easy to see how Calley had already earned some acclaim in the industry in New York. She was breathtaking to watch, partially because it was more than a simple visual experience. To watch Calley was to feel whatever the young woman felt, and for a few brief moments, become part of the magic as it was being woven.
Karina's talent was obvious to Katherine's eye too, but her sister carried a bitter sweetness she'd never been able to completely part with. Lately, however, Karina's melancholy undercurrent had become more prevalent, and it left Kat concerned.
It started before Mike got sick and Raphael was hurt...long before the earthquake and being forced to leave the city. I've tried to give her the benefit of some privacy, but I'm not sure if I should do that anymore. As she watched Karina spin in an elegant fashion, Kat couldn't help staring at how beautiful her sister looked. I was always more of a tom boy, even when I was young. Karina was the girl that my mom dreamed of having. I assumed the two of them were so happy together, I allowed myself to get lazy, as if I didn't need to actually try. Knowing that they had each other certainly made it easier for me to run away to the East Coast, and pursue what made me happy.
Katherine watched Karina finish out the song, hardly taking her eyes off the young woman. As her sister excused herself to the kitchenette on the other side of the basement, Calley reached for a towel that was sitting in a nearby chair.
The blond woman had barely wiped her own forehead before she turned an inquisitive gaze on Katherine. "What's the matter?"
She must have noticed the way I was staring at Kari. Geesh, I wonder if Karina noticed.
Katherine shook her head. "I don't know, Calley. I need to talk to Karina, and try to find out."
Calley nodded understandingly, her gaze resting on Karina's returning figure.
Karina held out a bottled water toward her. "There you go, hermana. Do you want to go a bit longer, or are you satisfied for today?"
"I think I'm going to call it quits for right now," Calley answered. "I want to catch up with Leo. Thanks for your help, Karina."
"Hey, it's all you, Chica. You've been working really hard to stay in shape while we're down here, and it's going to pay off. I can't wait to see you on another stage."
The blond woman ducked her head slightly. "Not without you, that's for sure. I'll see you girls later."
Calley headed upstairs, and Karina gave Katherine a casual smile, like she didn't know that anything unusual was going on.
Then she didn't notice me watching. I guess I should just come out with it, and if she feels like talking, then she feels like talking.
"Kari, would you sit down with me?" Kat requested, motioning to the couch a few steps away.
Her younger sister followed her over to the furniture, giving her a strange look as she settled down on a cushion. "Are you all right, Kat?"
"That's what I was going to ask you," Katherine replied. "I've noticed a pattern of you being down over the last few months. And it isn't...I don't want to interfere. You're an adult, and you don't have to answer to me. But I need to tell you that I'm a little worried. I know I haven't been a good big sister, and I'm still not good at this, as you can probably tell. But I can't stand by like I don't see it."
Karina raised her eyebrows curiously. "What do you mean you haven't been a good sister?"
"I left you and everyone else in California to pursue my dream, and started living my own life completely separate from you. Even though we're all together now, I still don't feel like I'm aware of you the way I should be. I haven't done well by you and Brandon."
"Kat, whatever's wrong with me, it wasn't your doing," Karina returned.
"Kari, what's going on? You can tell me. No matter what it is, I'm not going to judge you, or think you're stupid. I love you, and I only want to help."
"I don't think you can help, Kat. I'm not even sure how to put this into words."
"Try," Kat pleaded. "Tell me something."
Karina fussed with a strand of bronze hair self-consciously, and didn't say anything for a couple of seconds. "I've been dealing with the most stubborn sense of regret I've ever faced, Kat. I thought I was done with this. I assumed that I'd reached a turning point, and I wouldn't have to think about him anymore."
"Him...do you mean Dad?"
Karina nodded. "He's been returning to mind ever since I had Olivia, that and the way I screwed things up."
"Kari, he's the one who hurt you. Why are you acting like this is your fault?"
"Kat, don't you remember what Mom went through to keep the doors of her Studio open? For years she slaved and sacrificed for her dream, and in one fell swoop, I ruined everything."
"He ruined everything."
"He couldn't have gotten anywhere if my stupidity hadn't been involved."
Katherine bit her tongue to prevent herself from venting a frustrated grunt. She watched Karina as her sister's gaze focused on the window, rather than on her.
"I wanted the opportunity to get to know him, Kat. Despite him leaving when we were kids, I really thought there was a possibility he could have changed, that he wanted a relationship with me, for the first time. He told me he regretted not being there for us, that it was the biggest mistake he'd ever made. I can't believe I accepted him back into my life as easily as I did, but he said things that made me feel..." Karina paused for a long moment. "I felt like I was actually worth something. But I was just being blind to the man he is."
Katherine tugged her wrist, drawing her sister to look at her. "You listen to me. What he did is no reflection on you, Kari. You're valuable because of who you are - not because of what he says or does."
"I've told myself that a thousand times, Kat, and it doesn't change the way I feel inside. It's just something I'm going to have to work through." The younger woman shrugged. "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to confront him. I don't expect him to care about the way he destroyed me. If he cared, he wouldn't have done it to begin with. I'm sorry, sis. I'm trying to get into a good frame of mind - I really am."
"You don't need to apologize to me, Kari. I only wanted to tell you that I'm here for you."
"I don't question that." Karina gave her a genuine smile. "Would you like to go upstairs and see how much trouble our girls are getting into?"
Katherine laughed. "That's probably a good idea. It's only safe to leave them with the guys for so long."
As they emerged from the basement and headed into the Great Room, Katherine couldn't help gazing around the transformed space. It hadn't taken very long for Lotus Salvus to get into Christmas mode. The decorating had started two days after Thanksgiving, and continued building in the four days that followed.
Greg had flown Victoria and Tim back to the city, and was staying behind himself this time. He'd cited business that he needed to get done in New York before the holidays, and the three of them would be returning together in a few more days. Katherine had gotten used to having her old partner around, so she was a little sad to see him go.
He'll be back soon though. I don't think any of them want to be gone for very long with the way things are right now.
Mike had already received the second wave of the stem cell transplant that the docs had planned, and he had slowed down considerably from the exuberance he'd displayed over Thanksgiving. The orange-masked turtle was the first one Kat found herself looking for, because she hadn't seen him yet today. She was relieved to find him in a recliner in the Great Room, although it looked like he was dozing. Tiger was curled up in his lap, and one of his hands was resting comfortably on her back.
Karina left her side to greet Raphael, and the red-masked turtle broke into a grin as she approached. "Hey, Kari. Did you get a good workout in?"
"I think it was productive," Karina replied, glancing at the crutches that were sitting beside him. "You're not overdoing it with those things, are you?"
"Can't a guy have a little mobility around here without getting the third degree?"
"Mas vale prevenir que curar," (Better to prevent than to cure), she muttered under her breath.
Katherine laughed without meaning to, and Raphael looked exasperated.
"We could have our own private jokes in Japanese if we wanted to," he grumbled.
Jenna chuckled from the couch beside him. "They're sisters, Raph, and they love their heritage. What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing's wrong with it, until they're laughing and I don't know why," he complained. "It must be a sister thing, because we never heard a lick of Spanish out of Kat until Karina got here."
"That's because I embrace our culture, and Kat would rather hide from it," Karina teased lightly.
"That isn't true, at least not in the sense that I'm ashamed of it," Katherine insisted. "None of you understand what I went through with the first job I took in New York, to help support me through college. I went to interview for a position at a Bank, even though I didn't think I would get it. I knew of at least two other people that had applied who were more qualified than I was. Imagine my surprise when I found out they wanted to hire me!
"As odd as it seemed, I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. I'd been on the job for about a month at the Bank, before I found out why I'd been hired over the other people. It was strictly based on my ethnicity; hiring me supported the image they were trying to portray. I was horrified. Maybe some people don't mind getting ahead just because of their heritage, but I'm not one of them.
"After that happened, I played down my nationality as much as possible. It's complicated enough being a woman inside the men's world of the FBI, without being a minority too. I did everything I could to take away from my heritage, because I wanted to get ahead on my merit, because I'd truly earned it. Now with Karina, the cultural background was only fitting in her line of work."
Her sister laughed. "Hey, that's a bit of a stereo-type, isn't it?"
Katherine rolled her eyes, but Karina's smile never faltered.
"You left yourself open for that," Karina told her.
Kat tapped her sister's back affectionately. "We're both happy Latinas, and I'm proud of it."
Katherine sensed movement from her left, and looked over to see Michelangelo getting slowly to his feet.
The turtle nodded at both women in greeting. "We're all proud of our multi-cultural bunch," he said faintly.
"That's a pretty big word for you." Raphael snickered. "Where are you going, Bro?"
"Nowhere. I'll be back in a minute."
As Mike shuffled down the hall, Katherine noticed the way Raphael's concerned gaze followed him. When she was sure Michelangelo was out of earshot, she took a step closer to the red-masked turtle. "Is everything okay?"
Raphael shrugged. "I don't know. Something ain't right with him today. He doesn't look good to you, does he? He shoulda stayed in bed, but it makes him feel like a prisoner."
Katherine sighed softly. "I wish you guys didn't struggle so much with taking time off. Has Luke or anyone said something about him?"
Raphael shook his head. "Not really, nothing new. Doc checked him this morning, but he didn't mention anything in particular to us."
Katherine shifted her weight on her feet uncomfortably. She didn't feel like she was good at this supportive role, not like the other women in the house. Seeing Mike this way...it reminds me so much of my mom, and the fact that I wasn't there when she got sick. I wasn't there to help like I should have been. Now I'm actually here, but I still don't know what I should be doing.
"Where are the kids?" Karina asked suddenly, breaking Katherine out of contemplation.
"They're eating in the kitchen with Becky," Jenna told her. "She's got them both fixed up in the highchairs; Becky said she needed the practice."
"And your infamous brothers?" Katherine asked Raphael impishly.
"Don and Leo are keeping an eye on the dogs with Bran," he replied. "They let Molly and Noah out back a few minutes ago. You know how they don't want to let them out of their sight."
"I think I'll go see how they're faring," Kat remarked.
The woman headed down the hallway that connected to the back of the house, and as she crossed into the sitting room on the other side, she noticed Michelangelo in her path. He was hovering in the center of the room, leaning against the recliner that Raphael had favored in the past.
"Mike?" she said questioningly.
His plastron was heaving, and he didn't respond or look at her.
"Mike," Kat said louder. "Are you okay?"
He shook his head, and she suddenly realized he was gripping the chair for dear life.
"I'll get Donny; he's right outside," she said swiftly.
"Don't leave," he said weakly.
"You need to sit down," she said firmly. "It's going to be all right. I'll help you off your feet, then I'll get your brother. C'mon, you don't have to go far."
Mike grimaced as he shook his head this time. "I can't."
Katherine could tell that his legs were faltering, and wrapped an arm around his side. "Mike..."
Without further warning he collapsed, and she just managed to keep his head from cracking the floor. Her heart-rate quickened as Katherine patted his cheek insistently, even though she didn't expect it to do any good. He was out cold, and the scant breath that was leaving his chest felt frail and almost pointless.