Vicious Calm
Chapter 4- They're Good Friends but Terrible Examples of Humanity
[Cynicism and Childness glare at Cat]
What?
How long did this chapter take for you to write?
Uh... bit over three months.
What did you spend most of that time on?
...Ponies.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic a show for little girls...
And young adult males :)
... of which you are neither.
It won't be long until I can drink... legally I mean. Might be able to finally get rid of you two.
Yes because alcohol while make the voices go away. You bloody moron. Anyway don't ignore the issue here.
What issue?
You are not only watching My Little Pony you are the Equestria Daily fansite... well daily.
I've been an otaku for the majority of my life now. Believe me Ponies is far from the strangest thing I've ever been a fan of.
...Touche.
So can we get on with the chapter now?
Fine. Childish get this crap started.
M'Kay^_^
I hate you both.
"You're giving us a C Rank mission, just like that?" Kakashi said shocked. Team 7 had so far been active for little more than a few weeks, most of that time had been spent completing D Rank missions and trying to kill two thirds of his team with training so insane it would have made Gai cry manly tears.
In fact he actually had Team Gai and Team 7 training together most days, which had the unexpected effect of Hyuuga Neji sending him a fruit basket and the expected effect of Hyuuga Hinata sending him a feral badger in a cardboard box.
Kakashi still has that badger; named him Jin, he likes raw meat covered in honey and mauling Gai. Which is on a completed related note is why Kakashi is planning to give Gai a honey based cologne for his birthday next month, a gift for the enjoyment of everyone.
Never the less the point stood that Kakashi was very surprised by today's events. He had brought his team to Hokage's office to receive their daily D Rank. However as soon as Kakashi arrived; his team involved in the very common sight of a squabbling Sasuke and Sakura with Nagi attempting to keep the peace between both via the use of that giant sword of hers.
Even after a few weeks the two were nowhere closer to forming a respectable, non-violent, team dynamic and were it not for a strongly worded letter from the Hokage (it was written on a paper bomb) Kakashi would have dumped them both in Anko's care and wait for the corpses to arrive in the post. As it was he simply had to make it look like an accident. Which would be so much easier if the infamous Tora wasn't MIA.
He had planned once such 'accident' that day; to coincide with the D Rank mission they would receive. However his plans for the day, including the nice cup of tea he would have to celebrate his student's untimely deaths, suddenly took a hitch when the Hokage suddenly announced that his team would be undertaking a C Rank Escort mission.
"Thank you Jiji!" Nagi yelled wrapping her arms around the Sandaime's neck. She was the only one in the team that was actually happy about this turn of events; Sasuke was already mentally drafting his will and Sakura was already working out the best way to bubble wrap her friend.
Perhaps sometime should explain that last part for the past few weeks Sakura had been insanely overprotective of Nagi. Up until recently she had been looking forward to being a great ninja alongside her friend. Now the girl was one step away from stalking the blonde.
No one knew any logical reason for it, so everyone just assumed that her loss to Kakashi had resulted in the girl finally going off the deep end and largely remained unconcerned so long as the girl didn't start killing and torturing people. If that did start happening, a contingency plan had fortunately been in place for a number of years now.
Kyuyo probably found this the most irritating though as he couldn't hang outside the seal lest he get caught by the psychotic pinkette. The lengths he went to maintain his anonymity.
"Well it's nice to see that someone is happy about this," Kakashi commented as he struggled to decide between shaking his head and tossing the girl a treat like she was a trained animal, "never the less Sandaime-sama, I am afraid that my team isn't ready for such a mission."
The Hokage nodded sagely at this decision, which was made slightly funny as Nagi was still hanging from his neck, after all when it comes to decisions involving genin teams the final say always goes back to the jounin sensei. It was both an official rule, at least as official as one could get in the mockery of law and the myriad of shadow politics that Konoha called a charter, as well as an unofficial rule by the virtue of it having been burned into the minds of leaf ninja during their own genin year. Kakashi knew this, Sarutobi knew this, Sasuke would soon know this, Sakura probably knows it and intentionally ignores it and Nagi knows... actually let's not even go there.
What Kakashi had forgotten, and would soon be reminded of, was that all rules, official and unofficial, had a very important clause to them. Known colloquially as the 'Hokage Fucks Up Your Shit' clause. In this clause it states that if the Hokage has the means to enforce it, the Hokage has legal sanction to do whatever the hell they want. Right now the Sandaime Hokage wants Team 7 on this mission, why? Simply put after all his years as acting as Nagi's grandfather figure he was able to observe the impact that her actions had on people. After all these years of watching on high the Sandaime had determined that Nagi's personality attracted a wide of myriad of people, drawing all kinds of people coming together to Nagi as though she was the sun around all other celestial bodies rotated.
Sadly the Sandaime had determined recently that people were assholes; the males in particular. The more people that Nagi befriended; the more people she had around her that wanted to be the only one around her. The more people that wanted to be the only one around her; the more people that tried to kill each other whenever she turned her back. It was like these people could only act humanly whenever in the Nagi's presence; devolving to animals when they weren't. Unfortunately now that Nagi had become a ninja it was only getting worse. The pettiness and possessiveness over the blonde was getting ridiculous (it was taking a lot of his self control not to send Kakashi on a dignitary mission to Kumo) as such the Sandaime had to come up with a solution to the issue.
This mission was not the solution. This mission was him buying time to come up with a solution by getting the entire team out of the village. To be fair there was a chance that the situation would resolve itself but the chance of that happening was akin to Kakashi turning into a decent teacher and stop spending his spare time devising Rube Goldberg-esque 'accidents' for his two non-blonde students. Then again he only spent half the time morning over the Memorial Stone nowadays so that was... something.
Regardless, whatever may happen outside the village he would first have to get them out the village. So...
"While I understand your concern Kakashi, unfortunately I have to... let's say, insist that Team 7 take this mission." Sandaime said rather intensely, which, once again, was made funny because Nagi was still hanging off his neck and had actually started mimicking his expressions. Regrettably Nagi could only look intimidating when banishing a three foot long weapon (which at this time she had already sealed) so as it were, she just looked adorable.
Kakashi wasn't quite willing to back down, though if he knew the rapid series of handseals the Hokage had run through underneath his desk, he might have realised the danger that arguing presented. "Sandaime-sama I fully believe that- tha- gaaaa!"
Kakashi's sentence was cut off with a multitude of gasps and strangled cries.
"Is sensei dying?" Nagi said, serving as the sole provider of worry in the room.
"If there is any justice in the world, then yes." Sakura said chuckling as Kakashi fell down his knees, still gasping and flailing for whatever reason.
"If there was any justice in the world I wouldn't be in this team." Sasuke said with a sigh.
"The technique I have used on your sensei is one of a rather sadistic series of futon jutsus that shifts air away from a single point in order to create instant vacuums." Sarutobi explained, trying to ignore just how quickly Nagi's expression went from worry to interest. "This particular one creates a controlled and movable vacuum around the target's headspace. Effectively leaving them helpless and suffocating at the whim of the jutsu's caster. Incidentally I would avoid trying to hold your breath Kakashi, the damage to your lungs from the strain will do more danger to you than if you pass out, which you should be doing any second now."
Kakashi gave one last strangled cry before his eyes rolled into his head and his body impacted with the floor.
"So he's dead?" Sakura asked hopefully, to her misfortune the Sandaime shook his head.
"No. Just unconscious." Sarutobi said. "By past experience it will take a one or two minutes for him to die. For now I'll just assume his strangled cries were an attempt to say 'Yes Team 7 accepts this mission honourable and benevolent Hokage-sama', does that sound about right to you Nagi-chan." The blonde girl couldn't nod her head fast enough.
So Sandaime Hokage signed the appropriate insurance forms and liability waivers, having to stop half way through when he remembered that he forget to deactivate the vacuum jutsu.
In the end all this episode achieved was when the client came in and saw the team he hired he was greeted with the Jounin-sensei on the ground gasping for air, a pink haired girl poking said sensei with a stick, a black haired boy asking just how painful a death would result from jumping from the Hokage's tower and, the cherry on top, a small blonde girl climbing over the village leader begging him to teach her how to 'awesomely kill people like that'.
"I shouldn't have used that discount coupon." Was all Tazuna, the Super Bridge Builder, could say.
"Man this is going to be awesome!" Nagi as she tossed small cylindrical scrolls into a black and orange backpack held open on her bed. "We're going to hurt people and destroy bridges."
"I thought the mission was protecting the bridge builder? The protection business doesn't usually involve death and instruction," Kyuyo mused as he sat on the edge of Nagi's bed sipping home brew whiskey (1) from a sliver hip flask, "hence the reason my brief stint into the bodyguard business ended in tears. Tears and blood. So very, very much blood." Kyuyo shook his head solemnly, were it not for the sharp toothed sadistic smile it would have almost looked like he felt the least bit repentant.
Nagi laughed remembering the story he told about his freelancer days and all the people that got bisected or gored... or bisected and gored. Such great bed time stories.
Across the city Kakashi shuddered, for some reason he sensed a... disturbance in the force. Well... not really a disturbance, nowadays the force is pretty much just one major disturbance, this was more like a peek in the ever churning sea of disturbance that was the force. Either way the effect was the same. Something was amiss
Unfortunately, at the moment though the cyclopean sensei was a bit busy at the moment to investigate it. He only had a few minutes to coax his pet ravenous badger into Gai's shower before said madmen returned from his 'relaxing' village wide jog while carrying crates of iron. That is both crates made of iron and filled with iron and yes crates. As in multiple. Multiple as in more than two.
'I know far too many insane people.' Thought Kakashi as he lured Jin into the large shower using a hunk of scotch fillet steak stabbed onto a stick.
To think he's worried about other people corrupting his sensei's daughter.
"Anyway it won't matter, the way I see it we only have to keep the Tazuna guy alive while he builds the bridge. Nobody said he wouldn't rebuild the bridge if we accidently break. I mean Kakashi-sensei said that collateral damage is an inescapable part of a ninja's life." Nagi said as she struggled with the straps on her backpack.
"I would like it noted that when the Cyclops said that he was glaring at your teammates and rubbing his hands gleefully. Not that I can blame him. Hell I would even add a few more names to the list." Kyuyo mulled as he swirled his bottle of whiskey. For better or worse Nagi didn't hear him as she wondered if she could store all her little sealing scrolls into one big sealing scroll. "Well it is just a C-Rank mission and if one of Cyclops tricks goes awry I'll be around to kill hi- I mean help you out."
"That reminds me," Nagi said suddenly while once again struggling with her backpack straps, having abandoned her idea of 'one big sealing scroll' having realised she was out of paper, "since this is my first mission and all I was... kind of hoping... that... you... wouldn't be around on the mission."
Half of Nagi's room burst into flames as Kyuyo learned why a being of fire shouldn't do a spit take with high proof highly flammable alcohol. Fortunately massive infernos were a fairly common occurrence in the Uzumaki household and between Kyuyo's perfect control of heat and Nagi's water and wind jutsus (2), the blaze was quelled without damaging anything that couldn't be replaced.
Still extinguishing the fire didn't quite end the disaster. "What do you mean you don't want me on the mission?" Kyuyo yelled before Nagi had a chance to escape from the bedroom.
Despite the fact that Kyuyo's shock and outrage made his demonic features all the more prevalent Nagi didn't balk in the slightest. Though she did have the good sense to be sheepish. "Uhhhh. I need someone to feed Taiga?"
"Nagi."
"Okay. Okay. Well like you said it's a C-Rank mission," an awesome C-Rank, "and to be fair we'll only really be killing a few bandits. So I figured I could leave you here with like... eight tails of chakra-"
"Eight tails, what do you intend going to use?"
"I was thinking my own chakra, really if it's just for body-enhancing and jutsu-heating I don't think I'm going to need more than a tail."
"Yeaah... no! I'm coming."
"Kyuyo..."
"Don't get me wrong it's not that I don't trust you..."
"Kyuyo..."
"It's that I don't trust other people and really-"
"Kyuyo!" Nagi yelled, stopping the demon fox mid-sentence, it only took Kyuyo a second of looking into Nagi's eyes to show just how pissed she was right now. "This is not your decision. You're staying here and I'm going on the mission ALONE... or as alone as you can be on a three man team with a jounin-sensei but what ya gonna do." Nagi ended with a laugh having executed an emotional flip-flop that only she could have comprehended as logical.
"Nagi..."
"No, I'm going, you're staying. No arguments." Nagi said firmly and finally, though after a minute of Kyuyo's hurt expression the blonde deflated a bit. "I'm sorry Kyuyo-kun it's just that, we're always together and... sometimes I wonder if I'm that good a ninja by myself." Kyuyo felt more than a bit guilty when Nagi slumped down on her, mostly un-scorched, bed. Her normally sunny expression was now downcast and depressed.
Kyuyo might have more moments of obliviousness and idiocy then you would think from a demonically shaped chakra monster, in reality his family in general weren't super geniuses by any means, take the past few minutes for instance. Never the less he knew Nagi the longest, and arguably the best, and he knew that while her moments of introspection were rare they were crippling and not something to be taken lightly.
Kyuyo did the only thing that made sense at the time and sat know and hugged his beloved blonde.
"Should you two just be sitting around like that?" Tazuna asked his supposed bodyguards, or to be more accurate the two bodyguards that had bothered to show up, who were lying around with the same interest as he usually saw in his bridge workers during their lunch breaks. Not what he expected, or wanted, from two ninjas who were about to go on a dangerous journey.
'Wait no... not dangerous. A perfectly normal, safe, C-Rank mission. I didn't lie about anything!' Tazune thought to himself, eyes darting rapidly from side to side, as if he expected some passing ninja to read his mind. Which proved, if nothing else, that the Anbu did their job of being intimidating, shadowy, mysterious badasses.
He prayed to whatever god that would be bothered to listen that the blonde girl and the one eyed sliver haired adult who had yet to show up would be saner that the raven haired emo and bubblegum haired psychopath. He quickly remembered his meeting in the Hokage's office yesterday and wondered if it was too late to get a new team... or at least get some stronger sake.
When the small blonde girl arrived, running and waving in a way that reminded him fondly of the way his daughter (3) as a child would greet him when he arrived home from work. When he eventually broke his eyes away from Nagi's 'aura of adorableness' and focused instead on the giant sword strapped across her back he almost shit himself.
When that bastard of a Cyclops suddenly appeared directly behind him, Tazuna actually did shit himself.
Thanks to that it was another half hour before they could leave. Which was good because the blonde had realised she had to get someone to feed her cat.
A certain demonic red head watched from the massive trees that surrounded Konoha as Team 7 led their terrified victim, or client if you want to be kind and unrealistic about this, through the hidden village's gate. The teen's advanced sensory functions noted the ninja that were hidden around the gate, guarding the village from the shadows, while the ever familiar pair of ninja watching the direct entrance.
He wasn't worried about either noticing him; having compressed his massive well of chakra into nothing more than a pin-prick. He kept upwind. His pulse and breathing had been literally halted by cancelling the constant activity of his internal organs. Which didn't actually kill him, didn't even hurt, though it did feel a little weird. Kyuyo maintained his hyper realistic body because he wanted to, not because he needed to.
To be quite honest, even if the Konoha-nins did notice him, he wouldn't care, he wasn't hiding from them. He was hiding from the one person he never thought he would have to.
Kyuyo respected that Nagi wanted to do this without him as a crutch. He understood that Nagi wasn't some little kid that needed a constant look over the shoulder, and that she wanted one even less. His following her around in the shadows was nothing sort of selfish. Never the less...
'Sorry Nagi, I just can't leave you alone. If all goes well though, you'll never know I was here.'
"Are we there yet?" Nagi asked from her place on a certain raven haired genin's shoulders.
"No." Said Sasuke, who having had drawn the short straw had been nominated as Nagi's official piggy back provider/easy access meat shield. Nagi hadn't actually asked for either of those, though she did like the piggy back, and had argued strongly against the meat shield idea, but Kakashi and Sakura had been very insistent. Partly because it was Sasuke who would ultimately suffer and partly because Nagi's argument against the easy access meat shield (patent pending) was, quote, I prefer to be my own meat shield, end quote.
She chose to take out her frustration like any six year old, or someone who acts like a six year old, on a road trip.
"Are we there yet?"
"No." Was his immediate, and after three hours of this, pretty much automatic response.
"Are we there yet?"
"No." Seriously he probably wasn't even listening to the question anymore.
"Are you straight?"
"No." See.
"It disturbs me to agree with the girl, but... when are we going to be there." Tazuna said as he looked rapidly from side to side. Rather a panicky guy isn't he?
"Oh don't be such a cry-baby." Sakura said as she examined her senbon for flaws and cracks. All weapons came with the risk of breaking and cracking but the risk for senbon was considerably worse with them being small and thin. Since senbon were considered disposable it wasn't that much of an issue to a normal ninja but Sakura's maddening level of perfectionism meant that would only accept the best from everything she owned. With the exception of cleaning her chemistry sets, a problem which still led to no end of troubles, especially when she had to boil something on the kitchen stove.
Kakashi was, for once, a little more professional in his answer. "We've got at least at least an hour till we reach the boat you said would take us from the mainland to the Land of Waves. Don't worry if there were any bandits nearby I would have detected them already." It was not three second after Kakashi said that when his trained senses noticed a puddle in the middle of a bone dry road. He wasn't that surprised when his students began subtlety moving their hands closer to their weaponry having had noticed the poor hiding spot.
The jounin was thinking of the best way to scare the interloper, or interlopers, out of hiding when he was beaten to it.
Muffled cries could be heard when Nagi, suddenly and very inexplicably, leaving Sasuke confused as to how she disappeared from his back without notice, jumped into the puddle with a loud splash and all the joy of a six year in the rain. A six year old banished a zanbatou and looking forward to lopping off someone's head.
Sadly the people she had just jumped on where stronger than she expected as a pair of black clad ninja burst from the small body of water flinging Nagi away and into the nearby woods that their chosen road cut through.
"Nagi-chan!" Sakura screamed as the small girl was lost from sight in foliage. Setting her sights on the twin pair of clawed gauntlet wielding ninja, the aura of menace from two's massive weapons and horned headbands was very much ruined by the multiple egg sized bruised each nursed, and tossed a flurry of toxin tipped senbon aimed at their faces.
The single horned ninja had only looked up for a few seconds when his face was peppered with razor sharp needles. More than a few actually pierced his eyeballs. Luckily for him the sharp stabbing pain lasted only a few seconds. Luckily for us the sharp stabbing pain was replaced with a sensation akin to having one's skin replaced with fireants as the toxin flooded his blood stream.
The double horned ninja was lucky enough to have his massive claw up when the senbon came in his direction, causing the dangerous needles to bounce off harmlessly. He spared only a quick look at his partner, on the ground writhing in pain, before he disconnected the chain that held their huge clawed gauntlets together and made a break for it.
The ninja was rewarded for his panic and cowardice with a handful of shuriken in his back and a length of ninja wire wrapped around his head and body.
A few feet away Sasuke pulled his end of the ninja wire, tightening the sharp metal line until it was cutting into the ninja's flesh when he tried to stand. "If you move again I'll light the wire like a fuse and watch you burn." Sasuke declared coolly giving the wire another tug to ensure his message got across.
Over where the bridge builder Tazuna was Kakashi hung lazily behind his students, protecting their client. While Tazuna was shocked and more than a little scared the show of needless and excess violence shown by mere children Kakashi was having different thoughts. 'Both Sasuke and Sakura are getting stronger. Defeating the Kiri missing-nin Gozu and Mizu. Chunins renowned as the Demon Brothers, quickly, efficiently and brutally. I'll have to get rid of them soon before they get any stronger.' Such a supportive teacher isn't he.
While Kakashi was plotting and Sasuke was stabbing his prisoner, and having far too much fun pretending the ninja was a certain pink haired witch, said pink haired witch was busily searching for her friend.
"Nagi-chan are you okay? Nagi-chan. Nagi!" Sakura called out into the trees worry evident in her voice. "Nagi! Na-"Sakura cut herself off as she suddenly tossed a selection of senbon blindly into the branches. Her attack seemed only to serve in sending the few birds, which were dumb enough to remain near a violent ninja battle, scattering from the trees in a mass of feathers.
"What the hell was that!" Sasuke yelled as he attempted to remove the kunai that, in his surprise, he had inadvertently lodged too far into his prisoner's tibia.
"I heard something." Sakura said still tensed in a battle stance.
"Yeah you heard something, blondie." Sasuke mocked recovering his kunai with a satisfying rip of flesh.
"Shut up teme! I wouldn't mistake Nagi for an enemy." Sakura protested though it was a protest which fell on deaf and uncaring ears.
"Sakura if you hit Nagi-chan. I swear now you will not return to Konoha alive." Kakashi growled opening his weapon pouch.
Sakura's eyes narrowed at her joke of a sensei. "Bring it on you piece of shit Cyclops."
Kakashi attacked first; tossing a kunai. Sakura sidestepped the projectile with ease. Removing her gasmask Sakura readied herself for a counterattack with a cloud of poison smoke.
Had the battle escalated further she would have undoubtedly killed the client in the toxic crossfire. Tazuna was then, in a way, lucky that a particular Kiri missing-nin took his chance when it presented itself.
With Sasuke distracted, fights between Sakura and Kakashi always made for good entertainment, Meizu, with no small amount of pain, tore the ninja wire that was wrapped around his body.
Sasuke attempted to ignite the length of ninja wire via katon jutsu, soon as he noticed his prisoner moving, only to have the burning path flicker and die when the wire was torn into tiny pieces.
Meizu unleashed a powerful kick to Sasuke's abdomen before the genin could react sending him dropping to the dirt road.
With his mask falling from his face as near every part of his body had been horrifically cut when breaking the wire Meizu's sadistic grin wasn't hidden from the world as he raised a giant claw. Ready to tear the flesh off that little shit of a genin.
SWOOSH!
Blood splattered the ground as Meizu's arm was separated from his body by the mighty air slicing slash of one very familiar blade.
Nagi struck a pose as Meizu fell screaming to the ground his right hand gripping the bloody stump that was his left arm. Nagi's zanbatou had cut through the unarmoured flesh just above his clawed gauntlet sending the weapon and attached limb dropping harmlessly to the ground. A weapon, and attached limb, which Sasuke made sure to kick away from its owner when he stood up.
"Sorry I'm late, got distracted by some local forest kami. I love the guys... girls... kami back home but it's so cool to meet foreigners. I wish I went travelling earlier." Nagi rambling on and on with her usual brand of insanity, while Sasuke took some time to recover, twirling her zanbatou like it was a kunai and not three feet of sharpened steel.
Sasuke simply 'hnned' in reply to her ramblings; giving the still screaming Meizu a swift kick to the gut as he did so. While Sasuke seemed angry he would have to give the petite blonde a thanks when Kakashi and Sakura weren't around. Violent and random though she may be Nagi was probably the closest thing he had too an ally since becoming a genin, even if Kakashi and Sakura weren't distracted with a petty power feud he wouldn't be surprised if they would have let him die before taking out the Kiri-nin, and he was really beginning to appreciate just how valuable allies were.
"Well," Kakashi declared giving Nagi a pat on the head, "I think we did good work today. It's a shame that a certain pair of genin, who shall not be named, managed to survive but we can't have everything."
Sakura gave Kakashi a middle figured salute before taking time to administering a knockout drug and a clotting agent to the recently disarmed ninja. Figuring whoever this idiotic missing-nin, she had noticed his scratched headband recently; she'd likely get more money for him alive. If not then she could take her time later to kill him slowly or just sell him as a practice dummy to the Torture and Interrogation department.
Sasuke ignored the comment, as he and Nagi re-assumed defensive positions around a shell shocked Tazuna, he thought once that this team would drive him to ritual suicide. Now he was determined to stay alive just to piss off everyone...
"You okay Sasuke." Nagi asked him with genuine concern.
... everyone but Nagi. She was alright.
"Alright. I've sent a nin-dog with instructions back to Konoha, a recovery team will likely be sent by pick up Gozu and Meizu. We can work out how to split the bounty on the Demon Brothers when we get home; I'm thinking 70% for me and 20% for Nagi-chan. You two can have the rest, speaking of which Konoha takes a 10% cut off all bounties." Kakashi said as he tied up the unconscious forms of the demon brothers. Gozu having had passed out from pain sometime ago. Sakura left the needles in his face so Gozu would have a souvenir of their time together.
"Honestly it's like he's asking me to pour acid down his throat sometimes." Sakura said quite seriously. More than a little pissed about the idea on being snubbed on the bounty.
"Wait I'm confused. Who are Goza and Maizu?" Nagi asked.
"They're the two idiots we just brutally maimed." Sasuke answered choosing not to correct the blonde on the incorrect names. After all it wasn't like they were going to show up again.
Even a master of stealth and emotional control such as himself couldn't hold back a few chuckles at the previous scene. Though honestly Haku was laughing a lot more nowadays compared to how he once was.
He never did care much for the Demon Bakas anyway. Nothing more than a pair of losers who kept harassing Zabuza like he owed them something. The fact that Gato even hired them was no doubt only due to such bad blood between the three. Honestly what fool goes out of his way to antagonize the dangerous missing-nin he had hired. One day someone was going to flay that disgusting man.
"Still, why dwell on the fools when much more interesting events are occurring. It's always good to see Nagi-chan again. I'm sure Zabuza will be please. What do you think Kyuyo-san?"
"I think frost boy, is that you get eviller and eviller every time I see you." The red haired demonic teen said appearing suddenly on a nearby branch. Pulling senbon needles from his arm as his spoke. "Nagi-chan needs to pick better friends, that pink haired bitch has issues."
Haku chuckled. "Still crude as ever Kyuyo-san."
Kyuyo scoffed pulling out the final senbon. "I'll have you know that I'm a prime example of demonhood. Anyway if you're here then bandage mouth can't be far away, mind if I ask what you two are involved in that involves sending assassins after my little Nagi-chan?" Kyuyo asked making his point clear as his eyes grew a deep blood red. Trees began to smoulder as his caustic aura began leaking out.
"The Demon Brothers are not our doing and Nagi was not their target anyway. Now if you wouldn't mind I would rather you control your chakra Kyuyo-san. Kakashi of the Sharingan is still nearby or worse... Nagi-chan's pink haired friend."
Kyuyo growled but saw his logic and regained control of his chakra retracting it back into his body. His eyes retained their demonic glow though.
"If you're going be like that Kyuyo, then I'm sure you won't mind me asking what you were doing with that group of kami earlier." Haku began once Kyuyo had gained some semblance of self control.
Kyuyo narrowed his eyes. "You saw that?"
"Not 'saw' perse, as a mere human I can't see kami remember. But when you or Nagi are talking to something that's not there it's usually safe to say that it's a kami. If I'm not wrong then you had instructed the local kami to swarm Nagi when she was knocked back into the trees. Presumably to keep distracted enough to avoid re-entering the fight until later?"
Kyuyo was silent for a few minutes, but he didn't seem all that guilty about his ploy to keep Nagi out of the battle. "I'm just trying to keep Nagi from getting hurt. If it wasn't for those stupid senbon hitting me and startling the tree kami Nagi wouldn't have re-entered the fight at all."
"I'm not judging but if you had your way wouldn't her black haired teammate have been killed then." Haku queried.
"I could live with that." Kyuyo said finally. Haku chuckled in response. "Don't you laugh, it's not like I'm the only one here scheming."
"I haven't a clue what you're talking about." Haku said with a deadpan expression.
It was now Kyuyo's turn to laugh. "Don't fuck with me frosty. If Nagi wasn't in that piss poor excuse for a team you would have already ran off to bandage mouth like Robin to Batman. Whenever you're not playing side-kick it means you're scheming something."
"So what if I am."
Kyuyo had to think about this actually. "Nothing I suppose, as long as Nagi doesn't get hurt I really don't care what you do. While I don't like you all that much I know you well enough to know you wouldn't hurt her. That being said I am rather curious."
Haku smiled shrewdly. "It is certainly true that I would never want to hurt Nagi, however I don't consider curiosity a good enough reason for me to spill my entire master plan."
"Kids these days. No respect for ancient evil villain traditions." Kyuyo scoffed.
"I don't consider myself an evil villain."
"Then what do you consider yourself?"
"Just put it this way, there are two people in this world that I wish happiness for. Sadly both of them are rather stubborn and a bit dim. I realised a while ago that if I must be a little evil to give them both happiness; I'm alright with that."
"Very well, I won't interfere with whatever you have planned. But! Remember this, I am watching, if Nagi spills a single tear or gets so much as a scratch. I will destroy you." Kyuyo warned moments before he was enveloped in a swirl of yellow fire.
Haku rolled his eyes at the rather flashy jutsu display. "Sometimes I wonder just how he was able to keep himself hidden for so long with flashy jutsus like that. Then again," Haku looked at the trees which had caught fire from Kyuyo's reality altering yellow flames, "I suppose burning away any remains one might have left behind is an effective tactic. Though I doubt he does it intentionally."
Haku looked down at the Demon Brothers. Still unconscious and rather close to the growing forest fire.
"Sorry tree kami but this is too handy of body disposal method to pass up." Raising his hands up in an apologetic measure toward the local tree kami whose homes would burn. Of course he only did it for a moment before disappearing into a large sheet of ice that had formed behind him. Leaving both the forest and his fellow Kiri missing-nin to a fiery fate.
"Good thing we reached this boat before that forest fire reached us." Sasuke said watching large plumes of smoke rise from the mainland.
Once Team 7 and their client had reached the ocean shore motorboat and the friend of Tazuna's who captained it who instructed them to remain as silent as possible while travelling to the island. When Kakashi had asked why the boat driver had looked confused for a while before eventually spluttering out that it would scare the fishes. The man was clearly lying but he had been backed up Nagi brandishing a fishing pole and that was that.
"Hey Sasuke can you cook this?" Nagi passed the Uchiha a trio of decent sized fish skewered on a stick.
Sasuke proceeded to flame grilled the fish with a controlled gout of fire spit from his lips. Soon as the skin had properly crisped up Sasuke took a bit from one of the fish. After chewing it for a few seconds he pulled a bottle of tomato sauce from his bag and smothered the fish with it.
"I hope the kami can find new homes." Nagi said from the back of the boat, her fishing line trailing in the water, though she was distraught by the loss of habitat fire was as much a part of nature as trees were and there wasn't much she could do but hope the kami found new homes.
"Personally I'm more worried about our bounties." Sakura said through bites of her own, already grilled, fish. "This is good fish."
"Thanks," Nagi said happily pulling her line from the water with another fish hanging from the hook, "I think its pike."
"Little girl there are no pike in these waters." The boat driver while he manning the oar to direct them through the currents. Having cut the engine a little while ago.
"No... She's right. That is pike." Tazuna said looking closely at the fish.
"I have salmon too." The blonde ducked her line back in the water and pulled it out a few seconds later, a large salmon now hanging from the line.
Neither Tazuna or the boat driver had a clue how to react to this.
"Just... don't try to understand." Kakashi advised while eating, what appeared to be, Alaskan king crab.
Zabuza Momochi is not just a bad person. He's a bad person who advertises that he is a bad person. His looks. His attitude. His clearly visible and obviously deadly weaponry. Zabuza Momochi is a bad person and a dangerous person at that.
He's killed.
He's stolen.
He'd do almost anything to get money.
So why then did he not the long ago spend all of that blood money on a graduation present for a twelve year old girl?
She was eternally happy. He once punched a man for laughing at a joke that wasn't funny.
She was a Konoha ninja. He was a notorious Kiri missing-nin.
She was a jinchuriku. He once led a rebellion against his jinchuriku kage.
She was his niece. He was her uncle.
Zabuza was broken from his musings as a voice spoke out from the dark corners of his lodgings. A voice he easily recognised. "Report Haku."
"The bridge builder has reached the mainland. At the current rate he will reach his village by dusk." Haku stepped out from the shadows. Only the slightest glimmer of light showed that he had used his Demonic Ice Mirrors jutsu for long range teleportation. "I have also determined that the bridge builder has successfully hired Konoha ninjas for protection."
"Anyone important?" Zabuza asked in a gruff voice. Giving his zanbatou, the decapitating blade Kubikiribounchou, a few practice swings.
"Kakashi of the Sharingan. He dealt with Gato's Plan B, the Demon Brothers." Haku half lied.
"You know what I mean Haku. Anyone Nagi knows."
The mask pilfered from hunter-nin hid Haku's face from view. This meant that Zabuza couldn't see the little evil grin Haku had on his face. "No Zabuza, an introverted Jounin and a trio of faceless genins. Word of who killed them will never get back to Nagi-chan."
"Good."
It was true that Zabuza had a soft side, but that side was reserved only for his niece and his apprentice, to everyone else he was a bad person. A dangerous person. A person who got the job done.
The bridge builder would die today.
"We're almost at my house. You can all stay in my house while I finish building the bridge." Tazuna said as they walked along the roads of the Land of Waves. The boat driver has dropped them on a small wharf and immediately left as soon as Tazuna and Team 7 was on dry land. Or in Sasuke's case when he was in a middle of stepping off the boat. Still that's what he gets from being slow and getting off the boat last.
"Hey wait I thought we just has to escort this super idiot to his village." Sakura said angrily. "I never heard anything about extended protection plan."
Kakashi sighed. "Didn't you listen to the mission briefing?"
"What mission briefing?" Was Sakura's immediate answer.
"...Touche. Never the less he paid for two weeks protection so we're staying around for three weeks."
"Aw hell. Two fucking weeks." Sakura moaned. "Can you believe this Nagi?"
"I'm not worried." The ever cheerful blonde said having had already assumed this. "I have Kyuyo around to feed Taiga."
Taiga, Nagi's brown stripped cat, had more or less adjusted to her new life. During her time with the Fire Daimyo's wife the cat had almost forgotten the simple joys of living with a gentle owner. Lazing in the sun. Being scratched behind the ear. Mauling the neighbourhood kids... no wait, she never stopped doing that at any point in her, fairly long, life.
Still, while she had developed quite the pallet for ramen, she really couldn't help but be shocked by the sheer volume her owner posed.
Like now, when she looked up at the three foot pyramid constructed entirely out of the cup ramen that the Kyuubi no Kitsune has pulled out of her owner's stock. Even all this was only the kitchen cupboards.
Placed in front of ramen pyramid a single piece of paper was marked with the Kyuubi's scratchy handwriting.
EAT THIS OVER TWO WEEKS- KYUYO
'... How does he expect me to operate a kettle and cook these? I'm a freaking cat.'
"Who's Kyuyo?" Tazuna asked his sense of self-preservation was overridden by his curiosity when he saw how the pink and black haired children's faces suddenly darkened when the blonde mentioned that name.
"He's either a mysterious figure who holds great sway over Nagi's views and opinions and who has never been seen by mortal eyes or, much more likely, Nagi's imaginary friend." Kakashi answered. "However it is both Sakura and Sasuke want him gone; either by assassination or getting Nagi some much needed therapy. The therapy's one of the few things we agree."
"Wait, you left a living animal in the care of a non-existent entity." Tazuna looked at a smiling blonde more than a little disturbed.
Said blonde was quickly angered by the bridge builder's comment and leapt to the defence of her friend. "I'll have you know that Kyuyo is very responsible!"
Tazuna sweatdropped. "That is not the point. I meant... hey did anyone just hear a sneeze?"
"It was probably just a nearby cut-a-way gag. It's nothing to worry about happens all the time." Kakashi said with a wave of his hand. While it may seem a little strange for a ninja to disregard someone hiding nearby he was right that such cut-a-way gags were commonplace in Konoha and it often got more than a little confusing. Particularly in large groups. Much the same way that cell phones with the same ringtone caused trouble in countries without strict technological embargos.
"Pushing dumbass jokes aside client-san, is it always this... misty in your country?" Sasuke asked watching a thick white miasma roll in further along the path, both out of curiosity and to move away from talk about Konoha's gag problems. The Uchiha clan were never known for enjoying, or even tolerating, the proud tradition of comedy that the Senju clan had built the village upon. The previously long running joke that the Uchiha's wanted to build the city on rock and roll instead; never really helped matters.
"Hmmm. Now that you mention it, the weather's almost never this bad." The bridge builder answered remembering the last time the mist had been this bad and hoping it meant that Gato's shipping company lost another ship carrying a cargo of dry ice.
"Such a shame," Nagi said twirling around in the mist, "I love weather like this. Mist. Snow. Rain. You never get anything like this in the Land of Fire. Unless ya' make it yourself of course." The young blonde punctuated her sentence by tossing a ball of water into the air. Said ball frosted over as it rose in the air before exploding at its zenith. The remains of the impromptu jutsu demonstration rained down as snowflakes which were then whipped along by a sudden breeze.
"Which brings me to a question I've been mulling over for a while now Nagi-chan." Kakashi said seriously, closing his little orange book with a snap.
"Shoot sensei." Nagi said cheerfully, not that she was paying much attention, choosing instead to weave snowflakes in her hands. Unbeknownst to everyone else she was taking advantage of the rare opportunity to form such small acts of ice jutsu without Kyuyo's massive red hot chakra reserves inadvertently melting whatever she created within seconds.
"The Hidden Mist jutsu you used during the genin exams. The one which just so happens to be Kirigakure's signature jutsu. I have to ask just... where the hell did you learn that jutsu?" Kakashi spoke slow and methodically in order to ensure that he would get a straight answer out of the hyperactive blonde. He made sure to be holding Nagi's shoulder just to make sure she didn't go anywhere.
It was all for naught though as when the jounin blinked, for all of a split second, Nagi spotted an adorable bunny on the side of the road.
Girl moved so fast she kicked up a breeze.
"Bunny!" Nagi yelled sliding across the ground as she attempted to hug/tackle the snow white bunny... and found herself crashing into a tree as the bunny hopped scared into the undergrowth. "Wait. I just want to pet you." The blonde cried giving chase into the undergrowth on all fours.
"Anyone here ever watched that movie Up?" Sasuke asked while next to him Kakashi looked confused. "She really reminds me of that talking dog, Dug I believe. Wonder where I can get squirrels?"
"I'll go get her. You idiots wait here." Sakura declared removing a cup of instant ramen, presumably to be used as bait, only to be interrupted by Kakashi who had broken out of his stupor.
"No... Leave her be. I'm never going to get a straight answer until she has burnt off some excess energy. Besides we're only a few kilometres away from the client's village. Nagi can cover that distance in no time... we could cover that distance in no time if we didn't have to drag a slow ass lump of civilian...
"I didn't pay to be insulted."
"... It's a special service. Anyway Nagi can catch up when she's done. It's not like there's nothing particularly dangerous on this mission."
Tazuna's eyes darted back to forth at that statement. Fortunately for him any trained ninjas who might have noticed were otherwise occupied.
"What if another pair of Kiri missing-nins ambushes us for kicks?" Sasuke asked; rather reasonably in his opinion.
Kakashi didn't seem to share this belief though. "Sasuke. Sasuke. Sasuke. The odds of us being randomly ambushed by a pair of Kiri missing-nins twice on a C-Rank mission is astronomical."
You would think with all the acts of irony that he would have known better by now. Mere moments after he finished talking Team 7, minus Nagi, and almost minus Tazuna had Sasuke not shown concern for the mission parameters pulled the bridge builder with him, hit the ground dodging the spinning blade that slashed overhead.
The spinning blade slammed into a nearby tree; embedding itself with enough force to shakes branches from the tree.
A blur of speed lines signalled the use of the Body Flicker and heralded the arrival of the latest on the growing list of people who wanted to ensure Team 7's premature end. As if the members of Team 7 themselves wasn't capable of destroying the team on their own.
"See," Kakashi brushed the dirt from his flak jacket and facemask as he picked himself up from the ground, "I told you that the chances of a pair of Kiri missing-nins showing up and attacking us were astronomical. Clearly the chances of a single missing-nin showing up were considerably lower."
"I hope you die in a fire Cyclops." Sakura growled.
"I'm guessing this guy's stronger than the other two put together though." Sasuke asked.
The ninja who loomed at them with the intent to destroy from his place on his sword was dressed in black. His lower face was covered in thick bandages. A scratched Kiri headband was worn lopsided on his head.
"Momochi Zabuza; this guy isn't just stronger than the Demon Brothers put together. He's stronger than the Demon Brothers multiplied by themselves. Sakura, Sasuke stay back, as much as I hate you two a death by Demon of the Mist's hands isn't a fate I would wish on anyone." Kakashi explained placing himself in front of the genins and bridge builder. His normal attitude and actions made the act of heroism rather strange; still the effect was the same, unusual or not.
"He says that, but I get the impression that he just wants to want to do us in himself." Sasuke said; though he still moved back and assumed a defensive stance.
"Who cares; I've read this freak's bingo book entry. If the two psychos want to kill each other then who am I to get involved." Sakura said.
Kakashi would have sighed at this but he kind of expected such comments from the peanut gallery.
The Kiri missing-nin looked over the group; evaluating with cold and cruel eyes. He was not impressed. "You appear to be Kakashi of the Sharingan, I'll admit I expected your genin team to possess a bit more... competence." Sasuke did not focus on the insult that had been levelled against him, much more focused on the 'Kakashi of the Sharingan' bit, let alone comment on it but fortunately Sakura was more than capable of answering for the both of them with a pair of middle fingers and a string of creative profanities.
Zabuza was used to children not acting like they should have though and ignored the expletives as he continued his speech/long winded insult. "A glaring emo who can't come up with his own comebacks and a girl who's clearly pissed from losing a lifetime's worth of bubblegum in her hair. Not only does this team look worthless... it's incomplete. Did the third one trip and die."
"My third student happens to be a lot better than these two walking problems (Sakura gave another middle fingered salute) she just happens to be... distracted, at the moment." Kakashi defended his prized genin student with equal parts pride and exasperation.
After his own experiences with a certain young blonde, Zaubuza almost felt sorry for the jounin instructor. Nevertheless, he was still going to have to kill him. Even if Gato did end up stiffing them on the pay, not that he would live to get away with it, the bounty on Kakashi Hatake's severed head would keep him and Haku afloat for years.
"Well it's been a fun chat Hatake, but I'm going to have to kill the old man like Gato wants."
"O'Really?" Kakashi asked turning his neck, in a rather freakish approximation of an owl, to glare daggers and promises of death at the bridge builder. Sakura and Sasuke added in their own death glares to the mix and the combined efforts almost stopped Tazuna's heart.
Even with the bottom half of his face covered in bandages Zabuza pulled off an expression of utter confusion rather well. "You fools have no idea why the Demon Brothers attacked you, do you?"
Kakashi just shrugged. "It was their own fault for going down so easily. Still... I'm sure that we'll be able to force some answers out of our client..."
"Which arm is supposed to hurt when you're having a heart attack?"
"... until then it would be a shame if he died. So I suppose I can't let you kill him. Sakura, Sasuke assume triangle point formation around the client; detain and protect."
"Cyclops, you do realise that there are only two of us. A triangle has three points. You're basically instructing us to go against maths." Sakura deadpanned.
Kakashi rolled his only visible eye. "Be creative. I'll deal with Momochi." Kakashi gave his instructions as he reached for his slanted headband.
Dramatic sound effects were practically audible when Kakashi pulled his hitai-ite upwards revealing his ultimate weapon for the first time since his epic battle with Nagi. At least it was epic in his mind.
Zabuza wasn't perturbed even in the slightest. "Ah...I already get to see the famous Sharingan. I'm honoured." It was difficult to tell whether or not the missing-nin was being sarcastic but it was clear that he was supremely confident.
Sasuke had his own opinion on the sight of Kakashi's ultimate weapon. "Really I shouldn't even be surprised."
"Considering that he used it in the genin exam, no teme, no you shouldn't. I know you haven't activated yours yet and the Uchihas are a clan of one trick ponies and all, but you could at least try and be a bit observant on your own." Sakura mocked and for once Sasuke couldn't argue with her.
"Could the peanut gallery kindly shut the hell up with the sarcastic comments, I'd really like to kill to kill that old man sometime today." Zabuza growled, somewhat hypocritically all things considered, and assumed a battle stance. No simple feet when one is situated on the handle of one's giant sword.
The missing-nin didn't even waste time with a one liner before grabbing his sword's handle disappearing with a shunshin. Appearing again, rather dramatically, on top of the nearby lake. His Zanbatou now strapped across his back.
"Am I the only person around here who can't walk on water?" Sasuke asked irritated.
"I can't." Tazuna in a rather foolish attempt to break the ice and not get himself killed.
"Ah great. Anyone whose chances of being still alive at the end of the day aren't miniscule?" Sasuke bemoaned cruelly.
Kakashi might have actually laughed at that statement had he not been concerned with the sudden mystery of Zabuza's massive release of chakra.
A mystery which Zabuza soon solved; via the use of a single hand seal and four words. "Ninpou: Hidden Mist Jutsu."
"Not again." Kakashi mumbled under his breath. "Then it is Kirigakure's signature jutsu."
Kakashi tried to get a lock on Zabuza within the mist while the impossibly thick fog quickly covered the area, but he would have had better luck with a two normal eyes as the chakra seeping into the fog rendered his sharingan useless. Trying to find Zabuza's chakra was near impossible as the chakra infused mist made it so that his chakra seemed like it was everyone (4).
"Momochi Zabuza is an expert in the Sillent Killing technique. On the unlikely chance that anyone happens to notice him slitting your throat before you're completely dead, scream so everyone knows where he is."
"Great advice sensei." Sakura said sarcastically.
"I do what I can," Kakashi eye-smiled, "just stay still and try to keep that client alive. I want to enjoy torturing him after I kill Momochi."
"Assuming you can." A gruff and gritty voice rang out in all directions from the increasingly thick mist.
"Eight choices. Liver, lungs, spine, clavicle vein, neck vein, brain, kidneys, heart. Which one should I go after?"
"Is that a movie reference?" Kakashi asked genuinely curious, though he really should have been putting more effort into locating the jounin who wished to kill him.
"...What?"
"It's just that I've heard that before and I was wondering if the line was meant to be referencing something. I somehow doubt it's a case of 'great minds think alike' since the last person I heard say it is just so... different from a demon like you." Not that different actually but Kakashi had his rose tinted glasses on.
"It's not a reference to anything besides my own badassery!" Zabuza growled.
"... Yeah... sure. Well if you're not going to tell me-" Kakashi was cut off as the entire area was bombarded with some of the most powerful killing intent that Kakashi had ever felt.
Sasuke fell to his knees the second the killing intent hit him. Sweat pouring from his face.
Sakura lasted only a few more seconds.
"What are you two idiots doing?" Kakashi said breaking the two out of their own personal pieces of hell. "If I'd known you two were weak enough to be immobilised from a little bit of killing intent I would have done it myself and called it you two collateral damage."
The world was silent for what seemed like ages before Sakura burst out with grim laughter. "Like fuck! I am not going to let anyone, especially an idiot like you, kill me so easily." Sakura yelled pulling with herself up with monstrous strain of pressure and mad gleam in her eyes.
Sasuke growled at being showed up by a madwoman and pulled himself to his feet; screaming profanities all the way. "I am getting fucking tired of all this shit. Every single one of you freaks are a bunch of monsters. I'm going to make sure I outlive all of you and piss on your graves." Sasuke could almost hear the snap of sanity in the back of his head.
'What the hell is wrong with these people.' Zabuza thought as he watched the spectacle from his hiding place within the mist. 'If these psychotic genins are going to be so irritating I'll just have to remove them first.'
Even Kakashi was shocked when Zabuza appeared in the middle of Sakura, Sasuke and Tazuna. Had he wanted to Zabuza could have easily finished his mission right there by stabbing the the bridge builder, who had passed out within milliseconds of being hit by the killing intent, unfortunately he was a little occupied with murdering a pair of annoying genin.
"It's over." Was all Zabuza managed to say before Kakashi tackled him in the gut, making sure to knock Sakura and Sasuke as he did so.
Zabuza growled with fury as the kunai pierced his shoulder; or he would have had the Zabuza clone not exploded in a mass of water.
Likewise Kakashi would have cried out his dying breath when he was bisected by the real Zabuza's retaliation slash; had the two pieces of Kakashi's stolen water clone technique not exploded into water the same way.
'Oh come on.' Zabuza thought as Kakashi put a kunai to his throat.
"I win."
Zabuza began to laugh darkly at that. "You win? Should have known the Copycat-nin would be so conceited. You actually think you can defeat me with monkey-like imitations. Still your techniques are probably the more worthwhile part of you. What kind of jounin-sensei knocks down his own students while attacking his own students?"
"Not my fault they didn't get out of the way." Kakashi shrugged off the comment, wondering slightly why he was letting the enemy ramble on like this when he could cut his throat by now.
"Pathetic. So willing to let your comrades get hurt. I've killed countless people, women and children alike, but I can't stand people who would do that to their own allies, even insane genins...
'Is he... taking the moral highroad with me? He killed hundreds of potential Kiri ninjas before he even entered the ninja program. Not to mention he attempted a coup against his Kage.'
... I'll make sure your death is painful." In a flash and with the destruction of a water clone Zabuza and Kakashi's position had been switched. With Kakashi left looking a shock as the Zabuza he had be talking to turned out to be yet another water clone and with Zabuza holding a sharp object against Kakashi's neck. Though Zabuza was using his Kubikiribounchou rather than a kunai.
Kakashi barely managed to dodge Zabuza's attack. The impact of the air from so narrowly avoiding Zabuza's zanbatou was strong enough to be painful; it was still preferable to being hit with the blade itself. Unfortunately for Kakashi he wasn't about to get off so easily.
What followed next was a mess of jumps and rolls as Kakashi struggled to stay in one piece as Zabuza let loose a flurry of sword work.
Just as Kakashi was about to work out the pattern in the opposing jounin's attacks, or so he said, Zabuza suddenly substituted his powerful kenjutsu for powerful taijutsu and punched Kakashi in the stomach with enough force to send the konoha-nin flying into the lake.
More speedlines appeared as Zabuza moved behind Kakashi with a shunshin, his hands a flurry of activity as he did so. "Water Prison Jutsu!"
Kakashi barely had time for a 'nani?' before he was pulled from the lake and entrapped in a sphere of water. A personal prison, controlled by a single of Zabuza's hands.
"Don't even try to move, my water prison is inescapable, I just hope you can hold your breath for a while. I did promise to kill you slowly after all. In the mean time I think I deal with your crazy students." Zabuza threatened with a dark gleam in his eye, though Kakashi was rather nonplussed about the whole deal.
"That's fine with me, I did want to end them myself but if I'm going to die here then please... kill them in my stead." Kakashi eye-smiled as he gave his blessing for the murder of his students, though it didn't last long before his entire body felt pain as Zabuza increased the water pressure in his prison.
"Are you even capable of learning your lesson?" Zabuza growled.
"Not really." Kakashi admitted as his body was crushed slowly from all possible angels.
'For the love of... forget it, Water Clone Jutsu.' Zabuza would have face palmed had he not needed his free hand to cast his... hopefully last, water clone for the day.
The water clone formed on the lake's shore, mere metres away from where Sakura and Sasuke stood over Tazuna's unconscious body. "Y'know I almost feel sorry for doing this to you two. With a sensei like that, you've both probably suffered enough." The water clone spoke.
"What kind of pussy are you? Can't even kill children." Sakura mocked to the clone's face.
"Why would you say that?" Sasuke asked.
The water clone blinked in shock at the response before removing his massive sword, or more accurately water replica sword, off his back and levelled it in Sakura's direction. "On second thoughts; you're first."
"Bring it." Sakura smiled evilly.
The two rushed each other... and completely missed each other when both tried, simultaneously, to shunshin behind the other and stab their opponent in the back.
Effectively leaving the two staring at one another, several feet away.
The water clone attacked first but Sakura had the projectile advantage and embedded countless senbon in the clone's bare chest before the clone could cover the distance between them. Sadly Sakura only when the senbon hit her enemy in the chest did Sakura realise that poison coated senbon didn't really work on a moving mass of water.
The water clone finished covering the distance before Sakura could prepare a counter attack and sent Sakura crashing to the ground with a powerful kick. A few more kicks left the proud pink haired girl lying bloody and bruised in the dirt; holding herself in barely concealed pain.
Sasuke's plan was a bit more thought out.
Drawing the water clone's attention with a paper bomb hanging for a kunai he brought the clone charging at him... and right into a line of paper bombs hidden in the dirt.
A quick katon jutsu to ignite the explosive pieces of paper and the clone was enveloped in a wall of fire and debris.
If the plume of smoke and dirt hadn't obscured his vision Sasuke might have noticed the clone disappear half a second after the explosion. Sasuke definitely felt it when the clone reappeared, because the clone appeared behind him and bashed the genin over the head with the flat of his blade.
Sasuke dropped to the ground instantly, bleeding profusely from the side of his head.
"That's it? A stupid kunoichi and a weak shinobi. From all that back and forth before I had almost thought there was something special about these genins." Zabuza pointed his sword downwards at Sasuke's neck, poised for a guillotine style execution.
He was halted as Sasuke began to laugh manically from his place on the ground.
"Guess I hit him so hard he broke. Oh well." Zabuza let go of the handle of his zanbatou, letting the blade drop and sever the prone brat's neck.
However Sasuke had suffered injuries far worse than a head wound since joining Team 7 and rolled out of the way from the blade that seemed to move in slow motion. Sasuke wrapped a blood covered arm around the water clone's neck as the replica zanbatou hit the ground. In mass of pain and adrenaline he didn't notice the feeling of his Sharingan activating.
"Weak? Yeah I'm the weakest ninja here. My team are a bunch of psychopaths, how am I supposed to be stronger than these freaks. But I'm determined. Determined to live. I'll survive whatever you freak toss at me, even I go insane from it." Sasuke was laughing like the Joker himself when he revealed the paper bomb in his hand which he quickly slapped on the water clone's leg. The bomb was primed to explode in three seconds. Time aplenty to activate a new jutsu he had been learning.
"Ninpou: Lamp of the Fire God." The paper bomb exploded the same second the jutus activated. The jutsu expanded more chakra than Sasuke could safely spare on a good day but the effects were worth as the air around the paper bomb was transmuted into flammable gas. Turning the small controlled explosion into a grand plume of fire.
All eyes were on the water clone and Sasuke as the two were covered in fire. Sasuke was fortunate that he was already lying on the ground as it allowed him to skip 'stop' and 'drop and move right onto 'roll'. Sadly his attack had the same problem as Sakura's did.
"Weak AND stupid." The water clone growled the blazing fire destabilised its form but otherwise left the clone unharmed. "You can't poison water and you can't set fire to it."
"No," Sakura coughed out, along with a considerable amount of blood, "but you can poison the guy in control of the clone."
With Zabuza's attention on Sasuke and his firebombing he didn't notice Sakura hitting the arm which held Kakashi's prison with a small, precise and very much poisoned senbon needle.
Zabuza could actually feel the poison in his blood stream and, knowing that actually being able to feel poison probably meant said poison was particularly painful, knew that he had to act fast. Deactivating the water prison jutsu Zabuza retreated while Kakashi regained his senses and got some much needed air. Pulling the senbon from what he hoped wasn't a major artery he quickly pulled out a spare length of combat wraps, the things that were wrapped around his lower face, and wrapped them tightly around the top of his arm. Hoping that they would seal off the blood flow into his arm; preventing the poison from spreading.
"If I wasn't certain they did that coincidently I'd compliment them on their teamwork." Kakashi laughed as his students lay beaten and broken on the ground. Their water clone predator disappearing the same time his water prison did. Kakashi now stood on top of the lake and his body poised for combat. "Well then... what now?"
Kakashi growled and broke into a massive stream of handseals. Kakashi following not a second behind.
"Ox, Monkey, Hare, Rat, Boar, Bird, Ox, Horse, Bird, Rat, Tiger, Dog, Tiger, Snake, Ox, Ram, Snake,...
The muscles in Zabuza's right arm, the one in whose veins flowed painful poison, screamed at him as he worked through the handseals. Kakashi kept up with no such weakness. As both did so twin dragons of water rose from the lake.
... Boar, Ram, Rat, Yang Water, Monkey, Bird, Dragon, Bird, Ox, Horse, Ram, Tiger, Snake...
Beneath his combat wraps Zabuza's teeth were cleaned in pain. Even if he won this battle he wasn't sure if he would survive this poison. Haku was good but that pink haired girl must be a sadist.
...Rat, Monkey, Hare, Boar, Dragon, Ram, Rat, Ox, Monkey, Bird, Yang Water, Rat, Boar...
His mind was filled with images of Nagi and Haku... no, he would win this battle and he would survive this poison. He had things to live for.
So before the final Bird seal of the jutsu, Zabuza suddenly broke the jutsu chain and rushed forward. Leaving Kakashi stumbling to a halt, without someone to copy, and sending the, almost fully formed, water dragons collapsing under the force of gravity.
Zabuza brought his zanbatou up for a powerful killing blow. Since Zabuza's inexplicable change in tactics was too jarring for the sharingan; Kakashi was left a few seconds behind the world, unable to raise even a kunai in defence.
So why didn't Kakashi die?
Well, much to the woes of all the scarecrow haters, it was because Nagi wasn't out of seat of your pants rescues for the day.
"What's up sensei?" Nagi smiled, a white bunny under her arm and the massive zanbatou which threatened her sensei held in her demonic chakra infused left hand. "Sorry I'm late. The kami around are really friendly and just didn't want me to leave." The blonde babbled and Kakashi couldn't help but feel a bit happier. "Now I just got here, and really do mean 'just now', so beyond the fact that I blocked this sword I'm not really sure what's going on. Mind filling me in sensei." Nagi laughed keeping her attention on Kakashi for information, rather than say... looking around.
Kakashi eye smiled. "Of course Nagi-chan. We're currently involved in a life or death battle with the vicious, bloodthirsty, missing-nin from Kirigakure. The Demon of the Mist, Momochi-"
"Oji?"
"No Zabuza actually... wait! Oji!" Kakashi was confused was what he just heard and the Demon of the Mist letting his zanbatou fall to his side, well that didn't help with the confusion.
"Nagi-mei."
The world seemed to stop for the moment as the two stared at one another.
Nagi, with eyes the approximate size of saucers which looked like they were seconds away from unleashing a dams worth of tears, hugging that infernal white rabbit to her chest.
Zabuza, the infamous Demon of the Mist, was doing an impression of a deer caught in the headlights. Headlights that came from a cop car and shone directly on the bloody knife that he had used to brutally murder his wife and her lover.
"Oji, what's going on? Why are you attacking my friends?" Nagi pulled the white rabbit closer to her face, the rabbit whose tiny black eyes seemed to be staring into Zabuza's soul. Judging him.
Zabuza couldn't meet either's eyes and subtlety shifted his view to the crop of nearby trees where he knew Haku was hiding. 'Now would be a REALLY good time for an evac!' His mind screamed.
Haku couldn't help but laugh softly at Zabuza's shell-shocked expression. Likewise his heart couldn't help but break a little when he saw Nagi's teary eyes.
He reminded himself that this was all a necessary evil and hoped that Kyuyo would see it that way.
"Phase one, complete."
Why did you make Haku evil?
Not evil, just scheming... besides all the other characters in this story seem to be getting steadily more insane.
Insaaaaaaaaneee_
Don't do that ever again.
...Moving on last chapter you promised the readers 90% Zabuza in this chapter now I you suck at maths but...
Oh be quiet. Technically I promised 90% more Zabuza and even without maths, my third most hated enemy, this chapter does have considerably more bandage face compared to last chapter.
Fair enough. Out of curiosity just how long do you plan to make the readers wait till the next chapter of this crap?
Well I am getting Arkham city soon so...
...
... -_-
Kidding I'll get right on just... DON'T HURT ME!
(1)- I had to make alcohol once; it was supposed to be wine, for a high school chemistry assignment, it... ended badly. Really, really, really badly.
(2)- Jutsi. Jutsues. What is the pural of jutsu? Eh, I'll just stick with jutsus.
(3)- Wait Tsunami is his biological daughter right, or is she his daughter-in-law, probably doesn't matter much but I'm going with biological daughter. Correct me if I'm wrong.
(4)- I get the feeling that I may have forgotten this last chapter but the Hidden Mist jutsu can fool the Sharingan for this reason but not the Byakugan. The more you know.