Vicious Calm
Chapter 5- It Can Always Get Worse...
Before we begin I believe that we should get something out of the way first. It should have become apparent by now that the author for this fic is a complete and utter idiot.
Ok idiot is going a bit far-
You don't get to talk. You have been misspelling the title of this story for four chapters and a side story. What do you have to say for yourself?
Uh... the sixth sick sheiks' sixth shape's sick.
...
...
I misspelled sheik didn't I?
And sheep.
Damnit! [Sigh] Anyway thanks to mwaetht for picking up on that error, it is indeed meant to be vicious (cruel, nasty, brutal, ferocious etc.) as opposed to viscous (thick, sticky, glutinous, gelatinous etc.). I've gone back and changed it.
Which would be a completely different, possibly M rated, story.
Why M rated?
What do you think something called Viscous Calm would be about?
I don't know for certain but for some reason I get the feeling that a slug would be heavily involved.
I'm just going to end this conversation now before it gets weird.
...Ok then (if anyone reading this feels like they don't know what's happening well... you're not the only one) since I believe I forgot to do this last time. Childishness disclaimer please.
Cat-chan doesn't own Naruto or his eternal soul.
Who does own your eternal soul out of curiosity?
I sold it off to like six people on a timeshare basis but I can never keep track of who has at any one time.
"The tea is lovely." Sasuke raised his glazed ceramic cup as a black haired woman filled it with herbal tea poured from a pot.
"You're... welcome." The black haired woman known as Tsunami said, while she smiled as one of her guests drank his tea, it was quite obvious that she was highly uncomfortable. Namely due to the other house guests that her grandpa had brought back at sword point; not to say that this one didn't have serious issues. "Are you sure that you... how to put this... do you want any bandages for that horrific wound?"
"No I'm good." Sasuke answered raising his cup of tea with his left hand; a limb which happened to be covered in burned scar tissue.
"Your entire left arm is scorched." Tsunami stated as though that would prove to the now rather unhinged teen that he did indeed require rather immediate medical attention.
"Just leave him. If we're lucky he'll get an infection and stop troubling us." The pink haired girl seating two spots down from Sasuke spoke up; ending with a rather maniacal laugh.
Sakura was undoubtedly the most vocal of Tsunami's house guests but disturbingly not her most troublesome guest. That honour went to the one-eyed man who, supposedly, was the most experienced and intelligent ninja in this room. As should be clear the teacher here was not showing the maturity that should have come with his position.
Tsunami sighed deeply as Kakashi tried once again to assassinate one of the more amicable of her house guests Zabuza, who was apparently hired to kill her father in cold blood.
Zabuza glared the jounin down but somehow managed to restrain himself from killing the man, nearly bursting a blood vessel in the process, turning his attention back to Tsunami's final house guest sitting across the table from him. The only one who had yet to say a word, which judging from the way everyone seemed to react was neither a normal thing nor a good thing, a young blonde girl by the name of Nagi. Who had spent her entire time here seated between her pink and black haired teammates, watching her tea go cold while the deadly assassin-for-hire known as Zabuza, who was apparently her uncle, tried to explain why he never told her that he was a deadly assassin-for-hire.
Tsunami wondered to herself when this day stopped making sense.
"I also would like some more tea?" Tazuna sat at the head of the table holding his cup for a refill, all the while looking rather pleased that this whole ninja family squabble had detracted attention away from his failed fraud attempt.
Tsunami poured the rest of her hot tea over his head and, feeling much better, went off to brew some more while her father cried in pain and her son watched perplexed from the open doorway as the day's events unfolded.
Team 7, Tazuna and Zabuza had arrived at the bridge builder's house at nightfall none fully certain of the train of thought that had brought them there as much of the thought process had been internal. Shared between Zabuza, Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke. It was possible that, between them, they could probably piece together the collective trains of thought that had brought them from trying to kill one another beside a lake to drinking tea and trying very hard to not kill each other... at least until someone worked out what exactly was going on. Sadly since their little sun Nagi was hiding away behind a cloud, having yet to say a word for hours now, none of the ninjas present wanted to talk to each other with sentences involving anything other than profanities (which came mostly from Sakura) and blame (which came mostly from Kakashi). Sasuke actually stayed quiet for the most part, opting mostly to drink tea and continue the slow process of losing his mind.
"Nagi if you'll let me explain myself there is a reason I never told you what I do for a living." Zabuza tried once more for a chance to plead his case and once more he was ignored by the one person he wanted to listen to him and was interrupted by the guy who was rising quickly to the top of his personal bingo book.
"Yeah I can't imagine why you wouldn't want her to know that you're a bloodthirsty demon of a man." Kakashi openly mocked Zabuza for the umpteen time that night and it wasn't even the worst one he had used. The worst one was when Kakashi had removed his bingo book and started to read aloud from Zabuza's entry. Never had Zabuza wanted to kill a man with a book more and he had wanted to kill a lot of men with a lot of books over the years. It was a surprisingly fun way to murder someone.
However he was trying to get Nagi to talk to him again; murdering her teacher was unlikely to get him back in her good books. Zabuza sighed deeply, why did being a good uncle have to be so complicated.
Zabuza managed to pull out reserves of patience and calm he wasn't even aware he possessed and was able to make another civil sounding plea. "If we can all ignore the cyclopean idiot for a moment I would like a chance to explain myself-"
"I would like it noted that when he says 'explain himself' he means 'bullshit out of his ass till everything is better'" Zabuza's plea though were once again cut short by yet another one of Kakashi's sabotage attempts. Which makes that one the 1.0 × 10100+1 of the night. Apparently the '+1' was the straw that broke Zabuza's proverbial back as soon as Kakashi finished his sentence with a mocking glare Zabuza slammed his forearm against the table. Breaking the sturdy wood table in two.
"If you don't shut that shit spewing hole you call a mouth I will shove that facemask down your throat and use it to clean out your gut!" Zabuza roared in rage, a roar which easily covered the cries of Tsunami when she saw her destroyed table, namely 'That was a family heirloom. You son of a bitch', sadly meaning that the assembled masses missed this uncharacteristic piece of swearing from the wave woman.
To Zabuza's irritation though the one person he wanted to balk was just eye-smiling. After all Kakashi had been waited for the missing nin to crack. "You see that Nagi-chan the true face of you Oji. A dark, angry, violent mercenary. The kind of man that only cares for blood money." It was at this point that Zabuza realised Kakashi's plan and how he had just mistakenly walked into it.
Kakashi smirked in triumph (at least it seemed it he did, with the mask and all it's a bit difficult to tell) while Zabuza could feel his anger deflating in defeat.
Despite how long the uncle and niece had been together, and despite the blonde's bouts of strangeness, Zabuza had never really 'lost his cool', as he would put it, and 'flipped the fuck out' as others would put it, around her. In her current, no doubt emotionally unstable, state... Zabuza didn't even want to think about what would happen...
"You guys are aware that Nagi's not here." Sasuke commented before taking a long sip of his tea.
...if she never speaks to him... if she can't even look him in the eyes ever- Wait what?
"What do you mean not here?" Kakashi said staring Sasuke down. To the Uchiha's credit he didn't balk at his teacher's stare. Hell he didn't even blink... it was kind of creepy.
"I mean that the space next to me that is empty should be occupied by a petite blonde girl."Sasuke said in bored tone between sips of tea. Waving his free hand in the empty space above the seat that Nagi used to sitting in, no one had a clue when she had left.
"When did she leave!" Zabuza shouted and asked at the same time. Rather redundantly as I had just said that no one had a clue when she had left. It's never a good sign when the characters and writer can't work together.
"I believe the writer said not one paragraph ago that no one knows." Sasuke answered Kakashi; at least someone's working with me. "Of course that doesn't mean he has to whine about it."
...You are so going in my bad books teme.
"The teme just sipped his tea in response." Don't narrate yourself!
"...Okay when you're done talking nonsense could you mind explaining why no one thought to mention this earlier." Kakashi glared darkly at Sasuke.
The Uchiha just shrugged. "Well I've got the excuse of my increasingly tenuous grip on reality and as for the witch..." Sasuke pointed a thumb in the pink haired girl's direction. Said girl was snoozing softly with her head on the table. It would have been a cute sight were it not for the random snatches of conversation she mumbled in her sleep.
"Nagi-chan stop trying to eat the arsenic... Nagi-chan please do not lick the semiconductor mixture... Nagi-chan those needles aren't toys put them back in the teme voodoo doll... Nagi-chan show me on the doll where Hinata touched you... no I don't need detailed descriptions... and I definitely don't need pictures!"
"...and so on with increasingly unsettling aspects." Sasuke was met stares of disbelief from both Kakashi and Zabuza. Quite possibly the only thing they had done in unison the whole night. Sasuke just shrugged off the stares. "What? Neither of us have had any lines for a while and it gets rather boring just watching you two argue."
Sasuke took another sip of his tea as he waited for the two jounins to collect their thoughts. Zabuza was the first to come to terms with what was going on and reacting by wordlessly walking to the nearby sliding door. Opening the door with enough force to cause permanent damage the door's structural integrity. He simply adjusted the zanbatou strapped across his back, crossed the porch and continued down the dirt road that led from the bridge builder's house and into town. Giving neither indication nor explanation of what he was doing.
Not that it was particularly difficult to work out what the assassin intended to do. "He's going to look for the blonde then." Tsunami said rather than asked though Sasuke still answered with a quick nod.
"Like hell he is!" Kakashi yelled, apparently having been broken out of his stupor as well. "If anyone's finding her it's me." With that Kakashi disappeared from sight in a shunshin, no doubt to make good on his promise to find Nagi.
"Are you going to help them?" Tsunami asked the black haired boy, more than a little desperate to get the rest of the psychopaths out of her house.
"Eventually." Sasuke said in a slow and methodical voice taking care to draw out every syllable. "But... It would be a shame to waste my cup of tea." As soon as he said this the Uchiha refilled the cup from the pot himself.
Tsunami sighed and debated whether waking the pink haired girl would get the boy moving or simply result in more property damage. 'Still,' she thought, 'with the worst two gone the day can't possibly get any worse... oh dear Izanagi why did I just think that?'
"Hey has anyone seen Inari lately?" Tazuna said as he walked back into the room, a fresh bag of ice covering his latest justly inflicted wound.
"Fucking hell!" Unlike the first time Tsunami had sworn that day everybody had heard it.
"This mission sucks." Nagi sighed deeply distraught, though her sigh was not nearly deep enough or distraught enough to be heard over the ramble that could be heard from inside the bridge builder's house. Nagi was seated on the patio, and even with the sliding door closed, the blonde could still hear her sensei and uncle fight. Not that she cared enough to comment on, or even listen to, the specifics of the fight.
Right now Nagi just wanted to be alone, not having to talk, hear or think about everything that happened today. She could ignore the sound of the fight easily enough but the gloomy looking kid in the stripped bucket hat that was staring at hear from his hiding spot was starting to get really annoying.
"Ya' need something?" Nagi asked, inclining her head in the kid's direction. Said kid reacted by retreating behind his hiding spot. A support pole that just wasn't wide enough.
"..."
"..."
The two remained in silence, ignoring the sounds of fighting inside the bridge builder's house, for several minutes until finally the kid spoke.
"I look an idiot right now, don't I?"
"Immensely." Nagi's voice was utterly deadpan, though inside she couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Are you going to sit down?" She asked the kid, patting the spot next to her on the patio. Said kid fidgeting for several seconds before eventually he dropped down on the patio. Legs hanging over the side like Nagi's were.
The two sat there for a while longer, neither speaking. Nagi because she didn't really have anything to say and the kid because... well he seemed to have lost his tongue for the moment. When the kid eventually did find it...
"MynameisInari!" The now named kid said in rapid fire, scowling and blushing as soon as he said it, instantly feeling really lame.
Nagi either didn't notice or didn't particularly care about his lameness or anguish and raised a hand in greeting. "Name's Nagi."
"As in windless?" Inari queried.
"Mow down actually. The Kanji's different." Nagi answered though Inari didn't really seem all that interested in her answer, his attention seemed to be focused on staring at the girl's offered hand in trepidation. Presumably wondering whether he should shake it or not. Eventually Nagi answered for him. Choosing option C, in other words she whacked him over the back of the head.
Lightly of course, though lightly for her still meant that Inari was knocked off the side of the patio.
"Wha-why would you do that?" Inari yelled. The boy cradled the back of his head in one hand but he was actually hurt more emotionally than physically.
"They say that everyone needs a good hit over the head every once in a while." Nagi answered matter-o-factly.
"Who says that?"
"I don't know... probably people who like hitting other people over the head. Still I think it makes a good point, everyone needs a kick-start now and then, and sometimes that kick-start just needs to be pain. Profound eh?" Nagi smiled for the first time since the impromptu reunion with her uncle. Had she been in a more contemplative state of mind Nagi would have noted that while she wanted to be alone the blonde couldn't help but feel better with company.
"Profound? I'm going to have to disagree on virtue on having rocks lodged in my backside." Inari moved in a more comfortable sitting position on the ground, picking rocks out of his... yeah let's go with backside.
"Bah you're no fun. Anyway is there something you wanted to say Inari or are you just trying to flirt with me?" Nagi question was calm and said with genuine curiosity.
Inari's answer was notably less calm and said with great panic. "W-w-w-where in the world would you get t-that idea!" Inari yelled and stuttered at the same time.
The blonde girl shrugged off the boy's panicked babbling. "Comic I read, guessing that's a no anyway. Not that it matters anyway I have a boyfriend."
Inari's babbling cut off immediately. "Wait really?"
"Well... sorta. There's a guy I like and I'm pretty sure he likes me but he's never asked me out. Not that I care really; personally I can't see a label changing our relationship much." Nagi spoke with a faraway look on her face. Oddly contemplative for the young girl.
"...Actually when I said 'Wait really?' it was more like a 'Wait really, aren't you like eight?' kind of thing." The glare Nagi gave the boy could have curdled milk and melted cheese.
"Please don't hurt me." Inari pleaded until Nagi dropped the glare. Once she did so though both fell back into the awkwardness, and weirdness, of their situation. Nagi stuck inside her own head and Inari still nervous over... whatever it was the kid wanted to talk about. It would be several more minutes of painful, for Inari at least, silence until the boy eventually managed to spit it out.
"Why are you here?" He said suddenly.
Nagi was surprised and confused at the question but putting excess thought in things was something she only did randomly so the girl just used her default plan. Altered a bit to read 'answer now; think later' as opposed to her usual 'attack now; think later'. "Well, our mission was to escort the old bridge builder guy who is your... relative?"
"Grandfather." Inari mumbled, only realised then that he didn't get around to finishing his introduction after the blonde hit him.
"...Right, anyway we're supposed to escort him and guard him while he builds the bridge for whatever reason. Though... I'm not really sure the safety of your grandfather is really at the forefront of everyone's mind at the moment. Sorry about that by the way things just got... complicated."
"No, that's for the best." Inari said, having suddenly become all gloomy.
"What you don't like your grandad?"
"... Not what I mean. You should all get out of here you still can otherwise you'll die."
Inari's tone was as dark and serious as he could be; which made Nagi yawning at his dire warning rather embarrassing.
"So there's going to be a fight then?" Nagi lazily rolled the idea around in her head. "That's cool I'm always up for a good fight."
Inari stood up like a bullet and looked Nagi straight in the eye. "There's not going to be a fight. There's going to be an execution!" Inari yelled at Nagi from less than a foot away. Though he probably shouldn't have been Inari was actually surprised when Nagi didn't even flinch; she just met his gaze.
The ruckus from inside the bridge builders house was, at last, shut out as the petite blonde girl stared at him with eyes that, while tired from the day, could not be have their innate liveliness fully dulled.
Eventually the girl smiled. Not a creepy smile, a sardonic smile or a joyous smile. Just a comforting smile. The kind that reminded Inari of his mother, only with much sharper teeth.
"Hey do you want to go for a walk." Nagi said, not asked.
"It's almost time for dinner." Inari said; more than a little confused about how this situation was progressing.
"Even if I did feel like eating. I... don't really want to go back inside tonight." Nagi said wearily and honestly as she stood up and began to walk towards the woodlands which surrounding the bridge builders house.
"You actually expect me to follow you?" Inari was starting to get really irritated with this girl who went ahead and decided things on her own.
He was about to tell her just that when the girl actually answered him.
Nagi didn't turn around to face him, but she did stop walking. "I've realised something while I was out here. I can't really keep things bottled up inside. I can't really feel happy unless I'm talking to someone. Suppose I'm just a people person by nature and when I have emotional issues it just gets worse. The thing is all the people inside are acting like baka, unable to shut up for a minute... they're my friends, my teacher and... And my 'family'. They're who I should be talking to about my problems at the moment but... I just can't. Not now..."
Nagi paused for a while and it looked to Inari like she put one hand on her stomach. Of course since she was standing a deal ahead of him and was facing the away from him; he couldn't say for sure. He just knew for certain that her next words were a lot more solemn.
"Even the person I talked to before anyone else. Before I even had anyone else. I person I trust the most isn't here. So," Nagi's voice hardened once again, "if I can't talk to anyone I know. Suppose I should just talk to a stranger."
"T-that explains why you wanted me to come. N-not why I should come." Inari tried to stand his ground, though for reasons he wasn't sure about he started to waver. There was really something strange about this girl.
Nagi answer his question once again, but this time she did turn around to face him. "You just looked like you've needed someone to talk to for awhile too."
Inari didn't have anything to say to that. He just walked over to Nagi's side and the two went for a walk away from watchful eyes and raised voices.
Speaking of watchful eyes some of our readers might be wondering what Nagi and Zabuza's shadows have been up to for the past few hours now. Well to answer that at this precise moment Haku and Kyuyo were in a secluded clearing, far enough that none of the ninjas holed up in or near the bridge builder's house would notice while two people had a private conservation. In another, more canon, reality it was where another Haku first talked with a different blonde Leaf-nin. In this, considerably less canon, reality Haku was spitting up blood and counting lost teeth while Kyuyo had him pinned by the neck. Most likely in preparation to crush that particular piece of flesh and bone into a bloody mess.
"Do you remember what I said frost boy." Kyuyo growled raising the bruised, battered, broken and bleeding Haku off his feet. Fingers tightening around the ice user's throat Kyuyo glared at Haku with pure crimson eyes. "I said if Nagi gets so much as a single wound or shed even a single tear I would kill you. Don't think I wasn't being absolutely serious when I said. Never think I'm not serious!" Kyuyo punctuated his sentence as a single hand slammed Haku's injured body into a nearby tree.
For his part Haku held back his body's natural desire to scream easily enough, as missing-nin he had numerous opportunities to practice, as it learned though holding back the blood that flowed freely from the growing number of gashes on his body was next to impossible. Well unless you had a jutsu for that. Haku put away a mental note to learn one when he wasn't in extreme pain.
His vision and hearing was blurred and ringing like the bells of hell but thankfully Haku didn't need those bodily functions at the moment. He just had to croak out his voice before Kyuyo slammed him into a tree for what seemed like the thousandth time today (frighteningly that number wasn't even that far off from reality).
"W-wait... let me speak...please." Haku had to speak between painful laboured breaths but he managed to get it out before Kyuyo lost whatever remained of his patience.
"...You have a minute." Kyuyo said with no small amount of malice and irritation. Still Haku took it as a sign that Kyuyo had yet to go utter feral berserker on him.
"I'm sorry... that Nagi was... was hurt... but it had to be done argghh!" Haku couldn't hold back his scream this time as his body was suddenly slammed into the same tree again. "That... wasn't a minute."
"Perhaps not, but it was a poorly worded twenty seconds." Kyuyo flexed his free hand, his fingers formed into sharp looking claws as he did so. "I'd say I'm sorry for what I'm about to do but honestly I never thought we got along all that well." The air began to crackle as tongues of sapphire flame formed across each of Kyuyo's claws burning bright and hot.
With a roar Kyuyo slammed the sharp, burning claws into Haku's head. Kyuyo's claws were embedded in the tree; the smouldering digits having vaporised the boy's face and skull.
Much to Kyuyo's fury though the liquefaction of Haku's face did not come with the satisfying smell of melted flesh, charred bone and broiled gray matter. Instead it came with little more than a column of steam.
Stumbling back as confusion hit Kyuyo's mind, a mind which was moving further and further into a feral berserker state, he dropped the remains of Haku's body which shattered as it hit the ground.
Roaring in rage Kyuyo punched the tree in frustration with his free hand, which had the effect of felling the massive tree and freeing the claw which had been stuck in it.
Shaking the free claw, this had already begun to revert to its more human and less sharp and dangerous state; Kyuyo scanned the area with his eyes searching for his lost prey.
"If you're curious I used an ice clone. You'd think a demon would have noticed when I did it but when you're angry you've never been particularly observant... or intelligent... or calm..." Kyuyo search ended itself rather quickly when the voice of his prey sounded out from behind him. "That's always been your problem though Kyuyo. When you're angry all thought goes out the window and you become unable to even see past your own nose. Do all the Biju have the same problem or is it just you?"
If Kyuyo's state of mind hadn't already descended so far in the way of feral he might have noticed that, in addition to escaping and leaving an ice clone in his place, Haku had encased the demonic teen's feet and lower legs in steel strength ice then Kyuyo probably wouldn't have tried to turn around as fast as he did.
CRACK!WHOMP!
The most of the ice, and all of Kyuyo's leg bones, broke as he twisted his legs in ways they were not designed to go and preceded to face plant the ground as soon after. Kyuyo was in a great deal of pain but beneficially, for Haku at the least, the pain seemed to result in Kyuyo recovering his insanity.
Keeping the mind that sanity was to be used as a relative term in regards to anyone in this story.
"Now then, are you going to keep trying to kill me?" Haku asked from the side of the clearing, opposite to where his ice clone had been shattered, resting against one of the many trees around the area and one of the few trees that Kyuyo hadn't damaged some way in the past hour of mindless rage.
Haku looked incredibly worse for wear, having spent the hour just barely keeping ahead of the red haired demon's fury, still despite his wounds the solider pills he had been taking like tic-tacs meant that instead of being slouched over breathing heavily he had a look of serene calm on his face. The heavy solider pill usage meant he'd been puking up something resembling blood tomorrow but for the moment he was fine.
"...No." Kyuyo growled pulling himself into a sitting position while he tried to force his bones into an anatomically correct position so he could begin to build them back to functional legs.
Haku knew that gave him maybe ten minutes. "Well then we've got time to talk without you smashing me or a clone into a tree. Still all the same I'm going to stay over here just in case."
Kyuyo growled.
"Enough of that!" Haku yelled at Kyuyo in a tone akin to one would use when hitting a dog over the nose with a rolled up newspaper. Instead of using a newspaper Haku flicked a senbon into Kyuyo's neck. "Now then while you're otherwise... in incredible pain," Kyuyo screamed as the senbon neck in a nerve ending, "if you didn't want to feel pain you shouldn't have made yourself a nervous system."
"In retrospect yes!" Kyuyo growled the appropriate punch line from between gritted teeth.
"Excellent, if you're well enough to make jokes then you're well enough to listen." Haku declared.
"Fine, but just so you know. This means that I will only enjoy burning the flesh from your bones that much more." Kyuyo replied with a dark expression.
"I'll keep that in mind. Now then Kyuyo, I understand that you're upset with what I did and how it affected Nagi."
"Of course I'm pissed, I said I'd kill you didn't I. I know you saw what happened at the lake. She burst into tears when she worked out what was going on! She cried for a full hour!" Kyuyo roared at Haku, pulling the senbon from his neck and crushing it with one swift movement. "I thought you of all people wouldn't want to hurt Nagi."
"You think I wanted to!" Haku roared quickly losing his composure as Kyuyo's words cut deep. The two exchanged volcanic heated glares. Haku was the one who eventually broke eye contact, deeply suppressed guilt surfacing. "I didn't want to do what I did but... drastic measures needed to be taken."
Haku leaned back against the tree behind as, for whatever reason, Kyuyo finally stayed quite long enough to Haku to explain his reasons.
"I told you that there are two people in this world that I wish happiness for. It is a goal that I have dedicated my life to and I will do any evil, short of genocide, to accomplish it..."
"It's good to see you had the forethought to exclude genocide. That's the kind of that comes back to haunt you."
"... Quiet, I'm in the middle of a reveal here." Haku cleared his throat with a cough. "Anyway, my plans are long term and when they come to fruition I can assure you that both Nagi-chan and Zabuza will be much happier and I can spend the rest of my life repaying Nagi for making her experience the pain of betrayal." Haku stood straight, crushing his quilt under the weight of his resolve. Fully onfident that the end would justify the means. "Once this is over Nagi-chan and Zabuza will no longer be a family who can only see each other when Konoha border patrols are lax."
Kyuyo expression was analytical, he was considering Haku's words but he was far from convinced. Haku's belief that the end justifying the means was an age old philosophy of his but if that was the case here then Kyuyo needed to know exactly what 'end' frost boy's scheme was working towards. "What is your end game Haku? You'd better have a good reason for making my Nagi-chan cry."
Haku nodded in reluctant agreement, while he might not like it this wasn't a situation that he could skirt around if his plan was going to work. "My goal is one I have had for a number of years. Something that I truly believe would be best for everyone. Only these events have worked together to provide the opportune means to..."
"Get on with it."
"... My goal, Kyuyo-san, is to remove Zabuza from the harsh and ultimately futile life of a missing-nin working towards an uprising and bring him and Nagi under the same roof, like a family should be."
"Wait a minute... you're going to get Zabuza to live with Nagi... in Konoha!"
Haku ignored Kyuyo's attitude, shock was merely a sign of lack of faith.
"Nagi needs a father figure in her life, one that's not on the road all the time killing merchants and bridge builders for loose change. Zabuza needs a reason to climb out of the grave he's spent years digging for himself. Everyone needs to love and be loved in return, but that's not something that can properly happen with their current lifestyle."
"You actually think this is possible. Have you considered the logistics of this in the slightest? What about the Hokage for one, that old bastard could probably kill Zabuza with one jutsu."
"Judging by what I've heard from both you and Nagi the Hokage treats Nagi like a granddaughter. If all else fails she can... cute up a citizen for Zabuza..."
"And you I suppose?"
"...Naturally. Aside from that Zabuza is a skilled Jounin who can be, somewhat, respectful to authority when he wants to. It's not like missing nin haven't joined rival Hidden Villages before."
"If it's such a simple matter why not just tell Zabuza that?"
"Oh I've left plenty of hints over the year, right up to tattooing the idea on his arm. Unfortunately stubbornness is a trait that both Zabuza and Nagi share so closely, and in such an exorbitant amount, I wonder if they actually are blood related. Don't get wrong I care for both of them deeply but they're like bulls. You don't suggest things to them, you write it on a red flag, wave it in their face and get the hell out of the way when they charge. Unfortunately they are human so there will be a deal of sulking and avoiding the issue, but sooner or later things will come to a head, feelings will come out into the open and everyone will come out of this for the better..."
"Can't you just get them to see a psychiatrist?"
"Mental health professionals in ninja country? I swear you always try to do things the hard way Kyuyo. No, all we can do now is keep them close to each other so they can't run away and solve this conflict sooner rather than later."
"We?" Kyuyo narrowed his eyes in suspicion.
"Pride is for Samurai, it is a poor trait for a ninja. I admit that I'll need help with this and I know you want Nagi to be happy as much as I do..."
Kyuyo's expression was difficult to read but Haku took the fact that he wasn't trying to kill him as a good sign.
"...I think of Nagi as much of a little sister as I do a cousin and to be frank had I only met you yesterday, and you weren't an unholy powerful chakra monster, I would have pulled the protective elder brother trope so badly they wouldn't have even been able to find all the little pieces. However... I think it's obvious that you're good for Nagi and love her a great deal. Thus I humbly request your assistance." Haku ended with a deep bow, as he said pride is a poor trait for a ninja.
Kyuyo was silent for a while, his face contemplative as his mind raced in thought, until finally. "All right."
Haku didn't smile, on the outside at least, inside he was cackling manically. "All right?"
"I'll help you bastard. Suppose you and bandage mouth aren't the worst people Nagi could be hanging out with; at least compared to the current crop of psychos she calls friends. I just...I just have one request."
"Which is?" Haku's internal cackling dimmed, though it didn't come close to stopping, as his curiosity peaked wondering what the immortal chakra monster could want. He already had rum, ramen and a blonde (graded in that order from least awesome to most adorable) after much observation Haku had concluded that the fox demon didn't have much else on his mind.
"Tch! It pisses me off to no end to ask but... A scheme for a scheme..."
Haku became even more curious.
"...I... I want to be real."
"... Well I can't give you her number but may I suggest the Blue Fairy."
"Not like that you idiot! Well... actually sorta like that. You see around Konoha I'm in some of a strange situation, you see Nagi's friends know my name..."
"I'm aware of your situation, as far as tools in the shed go Nagi's something like the chainsaw. Not very subtle, not all that sharp, immensely effective and most of all very, very loud. I can't honestly imagine them not hearing about you. To my understanding though they think you're like the kami, a fantasy at best, and a delusion at worst. Honestly seeing as how you're the demon that destroyed their homes and killed their loved ones it probably for the best that they think of you as an imaginary friend."
"I don't care! I've known Nagi the longest and I know her the best..."
"I get the feeling that there plenty of people who would disagree with you on both parts there but go on."
"That's the damn problem. With all these people around her nowadays I barely get to spend any time with her outside the seal. If that wasn't bad enough the entire blasted Hyuuga family is either fawning over her or making goo-goo eyes. It's just rrrghh!"
Kyuyo's rant quickly began to dissolve into incomprehensible rage at this point so Haku had to try and get the teen back on track.
"I hope you reasons extend beyond pettiness and jealously over her friends."
"It does," Kyuyo sighed and looked around, Haku wasn't sure if he was avoiding eye contact or making sure no else was around to hear, probably both "I want to date Nagi and m-maybe one day...m-m-marry her..."
Haku had to psychically restrain the urge to laugh out loud at the way the fearsome Kyubi no Yoko could get so flustered. No doubt the teen was imaging Nagi in an adorable little wedding dress... that or the honeymoon. 'Thinking on it I'll have to make sure the two don't elope before Nagi turns eighteen at the least.'
"... a-anyway the thing that pisses me off the most is that I can't do any of that if her friends can't see me, let alone accept me."
Haku put a hand to his chin, serving the dual purpose of making him look deep and contemplative and wiping some dried blood off his face. "Well it's certainly good to see you taking the mature route, I half expected you to have slaughtered everyone in the village and spirited Nagi off to some far off land."
"I swear the thought never occurred to me." For some reason Kyuyo began to sweat bullets. Haku, wisely, ignored it.
"Right... Anyway your request, it's a bit of a tall order. You're basically asking me to stop people who have every reason to hate you so you can eventually marry Nagi-chan, an act which would no doubt give many of them much more reason to hate you. You really can't do things the easy way."
"It's not like I'm expecting this to happen overnight."
"Good because you proposing to Nagi-chan tomorrow suffice to say, probably not the best idea at this particular moment." Kyuyo went as crimson as his hair and once again Haku had to stop himself from laughing like a hyena. "Fortunately for you I am both remarkably patient and very good at what I do. I'll help you, but obviously I won't be able to do much until Zabuza and I get into Konoha."
"Right."
Haku and Kyuyo exchanged no solemn oaths or blood covered handshakes but the unspoken deal between them might as well have been a pact with the devil. Even though it was a bit difficult to tell just who the devil in this circumstance was.
"Before we get started I just have one question." Kyuyo said suddenly.
"Yes?"
"That rabbit that's been by your feet for a while now... what's the deal with that thing?"
"Rabbit?" Haku looked down at his feet and found a small white rabbit with big black eyes staring back at him. Big black soulless eyes carrying with them the endless eternity of the void within... It was quite a disconcerting stare. "Ah... That's Me."
"Me?"
"It's a rabbit I capture a little while ago for Zabuza to use for replacement jutsu."
"I figured that but... Me; as in eyes. Why would you call it that? Hell why would you call it anything animals used for purposes like that don't really last long."
"Short story. Since I caught it, neither Zabuza nor I have ever seen him blink and no matter how many times the rabbit has seemingly died he always comes back the next day, staring."
"...Creepy."
"You have no idea." Haku shivered remembering all the times he had woken up from a particularly horrible dream, often involving his mother and father, to find the rabbit on his chest, staring at his soul.
"Anyway that's not really my issue, but didn't Nagi pick that rabbit up."
"Come to think of it, yeah. She had it with her when she went into the bridge builder's house. She was holding onto him pretty tightly." Haku looked down at Me he began to get quite worried and for once it wasn't because of that infernal rabbit's stare. "Kyuyo how long until you can walk?"
"I could walk ten minutes ago." Kyuyo appeared next to Haku suddenly, leaning down to pick the rabbit up by the scruff of its neck.
"Well then..." Haku stepped away from the tree and walked to the middle of the clearing, where his Hunter-Nin mask laid. Having being knocked from his face with one of Kyuyo's initial attacks. There was a hairline fracture running from the right eye hole to the cheek, looking like a scar on the mask, but it was otherwise intact. Placing it on the face Haku crouched down and spread his senses as far as he could. "... Can you run?"
"I can teleport for the love of all things unholy; the question should be what's the problem?"
"Suffice to say things just went to hell."
"So where did he get a cat from?"
"Not a clue."
Inari wasn't sure just how long he and the quite probably insane blonde girl had been walking for. He did know that they had spent the entirety of that time talking.
The two had shared their lives and their problems. He had told her about Gato taking control of the Land of Waves and how his stepfather and long time father figure, Kaiza had been... made an example of. Nagi in turn had told him of her life, specifically, all the people and events she probably wasn't allowed to talk about.
Kyuyo; her apparent boyfriend and demonic passenger. Haku; her older cousin... or brother she didn't seem to understand the difference between the two. They were all family to her. Most importantly, for the current situation at least, her uncle and own father figure Zabuza who recently turned out to be a violent mercenary.
Strangely, as far as Inari could tell, the girl's problems with him didn't seem to stem from the fact that he was a mercenary. Inari thought back to that part of their conversation. They had just been talking about Kaiza and the sacrifice he had made. Inari had been made to realise the importance of what his stepfather had did in protecting his precious people. Nagi had promised to cut Gato in two for Inari and Kaiza.
Once they had shared a laugh at the thought of Gato's brutal execution Inari had realised that with all the information that had come from Nagi's mouth, she actually had yet to mention what he was really quite curious about. Her uncle.
It had taken him several minutes of pestering the blonde girl until she eventually broke. "I met Zabuza and Haku when I was seven, not long after that soul summoning thing I told you about earlier..."
"By the way... should you have actually told me about that? I mean, it just feels like a lot of the things I've learned about I should have been killed for knowing."
"...Yeah probably, anyhow Kyuyo and I were hiding out in the Forest of Death."
"The What?"
"It's this really big forest in the outskirts of Konoha, kinda far from populated areas, I'm pretty sure it's just a name though. So Kyuyo and I were hiding from... actually I think I'll draw the informational line at why we were there it's kind of..."
"Embarrassing?"
"I was going to say highly incriminating... Oh don't give me that look. Back to the story, we were walking around the forest when I saw a camp. Kyuyo wasn't really up for checking it up but he's never been able to stop me when I see something interesting and/or shiny. So naturally I rushed off to see who was camping and was nearly decapitating as a result."
"Decapitated!"
"Well obviously I dodged otherwise I wouldn't be here telling the story. Honestly who's ever heard of a zombie ninja?"
"I met a zombie pirate once (1), a while ago. Then again who hasn't when you live on the coast, what with that dreadfleet and all?"
"...Dreadfleet?"
"It's not as weird as it sounds. I mean, it's weird but not as weird as you'd think. Forget it, what happened next?" Inari leaned closer expecting some great tale of battle.
"Well... I'm not sure." Nagi shrugged and Inari face planted the ground. "Yeah it was like that, when I was dodging the sword I tripped over and blacked out. Next thing I remember Kyuyo was holding me away from a big guy with an awesome sword and a small boy with some senbon. They were hungry, and slightly burnt, so told Kyuyo to stop picking on them and offered to share some instant ramen from my emergency stash and the rest, as they say, is history..."
"...That's it."
"You asked me how we met and I told you."
"Shouldn't there be more of a back story to this."
"Oh there's plenty but most of happened after I met my Oji which was all you asked, it's not my fault I was unconscious for most of it. If you want a better version you should probably ask someone else."
"Why are you so attached to him then? Doesn't sound like you had all that great of a first meeting."
"Five years."
"Huh?"
"I've known Oji for five years. I'm sure everyone I know could tell you great stories about how we met but I prefer to remember the time I've spent with everyone as whole. Is that weird?"
"It doesn't make you normal that's for sure."
Inari sighed, his mind now back in the present. He had talked to Nagi a lot and knew far more things about her than he wanted to. Sure the girl was like an open book, but the book was written by a mad man and in six foreign languages. Just because she laid out her history didn't make her mind any less of a mystery, a mystery he was sure none had worked out.
Inari looked up to the night sky; the moon was full and at its highest point. They had been gone for a long time. 'There are probably people out looking for us by now...' Inari thought and sighed loudly, getting Nagi's attention. "It's time to go back." Inari stated.
Nagi closed her eyes and breathed the night air deeply before nodding. "Yeah, I need to talk with some guys..."
Inari smiled, an act which literally minutes before would have felt wrong and unnatural to him.
The two stopped walking and Inari tried to work out which way would take them back to his house. Out of the two of them he would have the best chance which navigating them to his house, and sadly not only because Inari had the home field advantage. If this was Konoha's surrounding forests only the local kami would have prevented Nagi from being lost for days.
Still Nagi had skills in other areas which is no doubt why she noticed the approaching mob before Inari even heard the footsteps.
Footsteps surrounding them on all sides.
A circle of forty large, dangerous and dirty looking men glared at the two, malicious expressions on their faces and weapons in their heads. Inari shrunk behind Nagi even as she stepped in front to guard him.
Not that a single point guard formation would do much good with potential attackers on all sides.
The largest man and the leader judging from the fact that his armour and weaponry, presumably pillaged from a fallen samurai, was of better quality and maintenance than the others. Despite his appearance when the grizzled bulky man spoke his voice came out far too high to be anything short of ridiculous. "Hihihihi! So theeeseee are the brats Gato wants us to take hostageee! Theereee's nothing I loveee more than eeeasy moneeey! Hihihihihi!"
Nagi crouched in a battle position. Left hand; flat on the ground. Right hand; hovering over the scroll strapped to the back of her flak jacket.
"Hihihi! Blondieee wants to play!" The mob leader pointed a relatively clean katana at the little blonde girl. "Leeet's play theeen!"
The mob charged at the pair. Had Nagi been a different kind of ninja she would had shunshined herself and Inari out of the middle of the mob and let them enemies crash into each other.
Of course this was Nagi so her tactics were considerably simpler. Namely kill them all.
As the thugs charged Nagi she, in one swift motion, pulled out her scroll, unravelled it, and pumped chakra into a seal on the scroll. A burst of smoke exploded from the page. Surprising a few thugs who stopped in their path. Only to be cut down as Nagi drew her massive cleaver like zanbatou from the smoke and swung it in a half circle. Taking care not to hit Inari who she, luckily, remembered was still behind her.
She didn't have time to rest on her laurels though. Quickly flipping around to take out a thug who was bearing down on Inari. This time though she tackled the, somewhat shell-shocked at the point, boy to the ground allowing her to utilise a full circle slash without fear of lopping off her new friend's head.
Which she did, felling six thugs and grievously wounding another two. After seeing no less than eleven of their friends taken down in two rapid attacks the remaining thugs retreated for fear of their own health.
Nagi intended to capitalise on this and positioned her zanbatou sword over her back and crouched down again. Planning to rush and bisect the closest thugs while they were distracted with fleeing for their lives. Only to have to quickly switch into a defensive stance when a number of thugs, who had been hanging at the back of the mob, suddenly stepped out from behind their compatriots, brandishing crossbows.
Nagi spun her zanbatou over her and Inari's heads when the thugs fired their projectile weapons.
The technique knocked a good number of the crossbow bolts but it didn't stop the projectiles from some of the smarter thugs who had dropped to one knee and aimed low beneath the blade's arc.
"Aaargh!" Inari cried out as a bolt pierced his calf muscle. Fortunately, in a way, the pain didn't last long having been dulled by the potent sleeping toxin that coated the bolt.
Nagi had better luck, not in that she avoided getting hit, as in fact she got three bolts in her sword arm. Rather she was lucky in that the toxin had little to no effect on her and she had more experience in dealing with crippling pain.
Keeping her sword poised from another defensive swing Nagi moved closer to Inari and pulled the bolts from her flesh with her free hand and tossed them into the nearest line of archers. Giggling as the three bolts struck one of the smarter archers in the lung. Though she only giggled for a few seconds before she realised that the wounds in her arm where healing a lot slower than they should have, she had forgotten that without Kyuyo her healing factor was considerably lessened.
Before the archers could reload or the thugs could recover their nerve Nagi stepped forward and blew a large stream of searing steam that she had been building in her lungs directly into the mob. Anyone who wasn't horrifically scolded retreated, or just outright ran screaming, into the trees.
Maintain the jutsu Nagi swept the stream of steam across enemy lines, relishing the men's screams of fear and pain a lot more than was probably healthy.
Problem was that not all of the thugs were quite so cowardly, or bad at dodging, and had circled behind the blonde. Nagi avoided the attempted backstab from a pair of sword wielding thugs but the surprise had cancelled her jutsu and nearly choked on it for good measure. Coughing up puffs of steam.
Raising her sword for another half circle slash, she also mentally noted to come up with names for her sword techniques, Nagi suddenly looked past her immediate enemies and saw Inari, still groggy from the toxic bolt, and the thug standing over him. A large iron war-hammer poised to cripple the boy.
Nagi ploughed through the remaining thugs in front of her, only to have her zanbatou lodge itself in one of the thugs chest, forcing her to let go of her zanbatou rather than spend valuable seconds tearing it from the unfortunate thugs ribcage.
But she made it in time to defend Inari from the attack, unarmed and with lessened healing ability.
The result... wasn't pretty.
CRUNCH!
"She was here..." Haku said as he stood up from examining the large patch of congealed blood that covered the ground. Small but numerous pieces of iron were spread throughout the mess. A long metal handle lay abandoned not far away.
A war-hammer he concluded, its head must have shattered with its final attack but still dealt a gruesome blow.
Haku had a pretty good idea about who the weapon had been used on; he deeply hoped he was wrong though. "... Though, that should be obvious." Haku looked over to where Kyuyo was standing over one of the many corpses that littered the area.
What made this particular corpse different from the others was the sword that had been left impaled in its gut. Nagi's zanbatou, Haku could still remember the joyous look on her face when Zabuza had given it to her on the first birthday they had celebrated with her.
Kyuyo grabbed the handle of Nagi's prized sword, he didn't say a word and from this angle Haku couldn't see the demon teen's expression.
Haku sighed looking over the scene of utter carnage that his tracking skills had led them to. They were too late though, the battle had been fought and the outcome was obvious.
"Gato's men. I recognise a few of them and besides..." Haku looked over head at the buzzard which circled the sky, barely visible in the night. "...I don't know anyone else around here that would leave his men to rot in the forest."
"She's still alive."Kyuyo said, gripping the handle of Nagi's zanbatou tighter.
"How...?" Haku almost asked how Kyuyo could know for sure but he bit his tongue. Kyuyo would know he wasn't certain about any supernatural bond between the two but at the least if Nagi had died Kyuyo the ninth tail of his chakra she had would have returned to him. Instead he asked. "In what condition?"
The corpse that Nagi's zanbatou was stuck in began to sizzle and Kyuyo's chakra flowed unchecked turning the sword molten red with heat. Haku quickly disappeared in a sheet of ice which was vaporised, along with the corpses and several small trees, as a crimson inferno sprung forth from Kyuyo's body.
As the fire subsided Haku stepped out from behind one of the trees which had merely been blackened rather than decimated. He saw Kyuyo, standing in the last remaining licks of fire, swing over his shoulder as he turned around. His eyes were fully crimson, much like his feral mindset, but his face showed signs that he retained a cruel intellect. This really was much more terrifying than any feral state.
Also somehow the rabbit Me, which had been on Kyuyo's head for some time, had survived the sudden inferno but that wasn't really important at the moment.
"Haku I'm assuming you know where Gato keeps prisoners." Kyuyo's voice was nothing short of malicious.
"There was a guided tour when Gato first hired us." The ice user had a fairly good idea of what Kyuyo had in mind.
The teen narrowed his crimson eyes. "Good."
Is it just me or is this chapter vaguely serious?
Only vaguely.
Why?
I don't know it just kinda went in that direction, there's still funny in there.
Ok then. Now there's something you wanted to talk about.
Oh yes one or two issues some reviewers raised. So I figured I do a Q and A like thing. Uh... [Rustles around in a stack of paper]. Ah! Here we are. You read. I'll answer.
Why?
I can get Childness to read if you want?
:)
...Pass us the paper. Even I wouldn't inflict that upon anyone.
:(
You know you don't have all that many actual questions on here.
Just read it.
Chishiokage thinks that the plural of jutsu is just jutsu, which makes sense if you consider that it's a Japanese word.
True in retrospect I probably over thought that last chapter. What else, they said this fic seems like a story that doesn't go anywhere. Well shockingly I do a plot in mind; however convoluted it may be, up until shipunden. Of course I'm only just starting to crawl towards it.
Next Another reviewer noted that the story lacks balance. Specifically Sakura is immature, Nagi is an idiot and Sasuke is the only sensible one... I getting the feeling that they aren't going to like this chapter all that much.
I can't really disagree with you and saying this is comedy would just feel lazy so I'll say there will be character development with Sakura at least. Nagi is going to be an idiot for as long as I'm writing this though, it's just more fun to write that way.
Violettruth... TACO BELL?
TACO BELL!
...That was important enough to write.
I like tacos and I know by experience that America has fantastic Mexican food. Though I question whether Taco Bell is where you find it.
Hot dog285. Offers to teach you math if you get chapters out quickly.
I certainly appreciate but thankfully math is no longer my problem! [Happy dance]
He graduated high school and thinks that he doesn't have to do maths anymore. I don't have the heart to tell him that his Business course will likely involve considerable maths... Well that's not true I do have the heart to tell him I'm just waiting until it's funniest.
What was I doing again?
Don't know. Mwaetht... Wait you already addressed this. Remember I called you an idiot.
The other question.
How often do you update? I can answer that. Not very.
I was better than last time. But yeah, I have a real problem with this.
You have a lot of problems thankfully I don't have to deal with them right now because this chapter is done.
Jamata.
Ba-bye^_^
(1)- Hey if ninjas exist in the world then theoretically zombies and pirates have to be somewhere. It's just logical.