He sat in the chair between their beds. Both hands tucked between his knees, his eyes on the floor, afraid of what would happen when he looked up. Would they both look at him, with lost eyes and blank expressions? Would they ask who is was, again? Oh would they simply not look at him? They'd never know who he was, never know that the boy who visited them every holiday and every weekend he could, was their little boy.
A tap on his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Alice looking down at him, the look in her eyes was far away but behind it all, almost invisible was some compressed emotion that could never come out. She frowned at him slightly, tilting her head as if she was trying to figure out who this boy was and why he was next to her bed.
"Mum..." His lips formed the word that was so rarely spoken, his eyes grew wide looking up at her, he'd never know what it was like to have a mum, someone who would always know what to do and give advice. Her confused look grew as the words slipped from his mouth and she drew back into the bed, she head shaking ever so slightly.
He slumped back into his chair, she'd never know him. A shit on the other bed drew his attention, Frank was watching him. His eye's watching every move, as if trying to work out how it happened. A look of deep concentration filled his face, like he was trying to remember something that just wouldn't come back to him. He reached out a hand to point at the boy, a questioning look in his normally blank gaze.
"I'm Neville." Neville said, he voice shaking while looking at his father and thinking, not for the first time, what it must be like to not know anything. Frank let out a grunt, his eyes still on Neville the look of thought gone as quickly as it was come. Now he was just looking at him blankly. Not remembering that he came to visit them many times. Not remembering the countless stories he'd told his father. He always received a blank look back. No recognition as to who is was. Just a look.
Neville stood the leave pushing the chair back into place carefully and spraying a little water on the two plants on the table between the beds. A hand came down on his left arm, looking in surprise he saw his dad looking at him, the look of deep thought back on his face. A faint flicker of hope grew inside Neville, but was quickly put out when the look left his face and he removed his hand.
He turned to leave but a hand spotted him before he reached the end of the bed, Alice looked at him with a hand outstretched. She took up one of his and dropped an old gumball wrapper into his hand, a small smile on her face as she looked back up at him, the look in her eyes changed to something different from blank and unknowing, but quickly vanished. Neville closed him fingers around the wrapper.
"Thanks mum." He said quietly before leaving the ward, the look in their eyes still in his mind. They'll never know me, he thought walking down the long white halls, never remember who I am.