Author's note: hey! Sorry it's taken me such a long time to update. But here's chapter 12 for you to enjoy! Keep reading - chapter 13 (the wedding chapter!) will be uploaded soon. :) And as always, your reviews are appreciated.
Copyright declaration: The Twilight series and its characters are the creation of and copyright of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing and this story is purely a not-for-profit work of fan fiction. No copyright infringement intended
Chapter Twelve
– Upset –
It was impossible to articulate my feelings. The revelation that Jacob had had a girlfriend made me doubt the foundations of everything we had been through together. Jacob was at my bedside day and night when I was grieving for Edward and the baby I lost. He stroked my hair, encouraged me to eat…he was there for me. And at the same time, he was going on dates with another girl.
It was so hard to reconcile these two images. But another voice inside my head kept nagging at my mind. Why should I be angry? It's not like he was unfaithful to me. He wasn't even mine then. It felt like I had two armies facing off inside my head and I didn't know which one to root for. Sighing, I picked up the phone and dialed Alice's number. I needed to talk.
"Hi Bella," she said sympathetically when she answered the phone. "I was expecting a call from you. Going through a tough time?"
"How much do you know?" I said.
"I had a vision the day before yesterday and I saw nearly everything," she said. "You looked pretty cut-up about it."
"I amcut-up about it, Alice. I…I don't know what to say to Jacob but I feel deceived by him because he never told me before. Why did he have to wait until a month before our wedding to tell me about some girl he dated two years ago?"
Alice paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "You know he wasn't in love with this girl, Bella."
"I know," I interrupted. "But that's not the point."
"I think you're shocked by the idea that Jacob could do something like that and have a casual fling with a girl. I think that's why you're upset."
This took me aback. "Really? This is the twenty-first century, Alice. I'm not a prude. But I wish he had told me before."
"But he didn't, Bella. And that was just because he felt awkward and embarrassed about a brief dalliance which had no significance at all. I'm not trying to defend him, Bella, because I think he owes you an explanation. But it's not like he was two-timing you."
"I guess you're right," I sighed.
"I knowI'm right," Alice said firmly. "Let it go. Trust him. But talk to him about your concerns. Transparency in a relationship is an important thing."
"You sound like a marriage counselor," I smiled as I let my shoulders drop, exhaling and realizing how tense I had been feeling.
Alice laughed as she said, "I think you should go out on a date with Jacob tonight. I'm going to make reservations for dinner for you both and you are going to go and forget about all this. You need to have some fun with him, not keep him at arm's length just because he had sex once with a girl two years ago. Forgive him. Talk to him. And get excited! Come on, Bella, it's not long 'til your wedding."
"Alice," I said, half-heartedly smiling. "What would I do without you to cheer me up?"
"I shudder to imagine," she joked. "Now, call Jacob and get him over to your place. In my vision, I saw that he's moping around La Push like you've left him forever."
"I just needed some time to think," I protested. "Honestly, he didn't have to take it so personally."
"Huh," Alice said incredulously. "I saw what happened yesterday. You practically pushed the poor guy out the door and slammed it in his face."
"I did not!" I said indignantly.
"Hmm, that's debatable," Alice replied, but I could hear the smile in her voice.
When I hung up, I felt so much better. Maybe I was overreacting and making a big deal out of it but Alice had reassured me.
That night I went out for dinner with Jacob and I could see the relief in his face when I apologized for sounding off at him.
"I'd never forgive myself if I lost you, Bella," he said. "I thought you weren't going to forgive me."
I shook my head. "Oh Jake, that wasn't going to happen. I'm just upset because I'm trying to make sense of the situation. It was a shock."
Jacob looked down at his feet and then at me. "It was stupid and I felt like a jerk for going out with Rose. I've never stopped loving you. And I am sorry. I mean it, Bella."
"I know," I said simply.
As we settled into our seats and ordered our meal, I felt happy to put the past behind us. The restaurant where we were dining was a new place which had just opened in Forks and it was cozy. Candles adorned each table and soft red furnishings gave the room a warm glow. Lilting guitar music played in the background and Jacob and I talked about our futures as we ate.
"You know, I really want to open an auto maintenance garage in the spring time," he said to me. "I think it would be very profitable."
"Well, you should definitely do that," I encouraged him.
"Yeah, but there's the initial financial outlay to consider. Banks are going to be wary of giving me loans because of my age."
"I can help you out," I volunteered. "Carlisle and Esme insist on giving me a monthly stipend which is way more than I really need. I'd be happy to help set up an auto repair shop for you."
"Oh wow! You're amazing, Bella."
I laughed, "I'd do anything for you. You know that."
"I'm so grateful to have you," he said. "And what about you? I don't expect you to play the housewife role!"
"I'd actually like to go to college," I said. "I can do a long-distance course at the University of Seattle. I want to major in English. When I graduate I'd love to set up a bookstore here in Forks. The closest really good independent bookstore is in Seattle and the library here is terrible."
"And I think you will be a great businesswoman," Jacob said.
I smiled, "Yeah, well, there's a long way to go yet but I've got ambition."
And so an evening which had begun with tension ended with smiles and discussion of our dreams for the future.