I AM ALIVE!!!!!!! LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YAY!!!................*silence*...........ok there is a free buffet next door...........*YAY!!!!*
much better. Well after a long wait due to school work and EXAMS.....DUN DUN DUNNN!!!!!

Ok, now then were was I when I last updated this story…..let's see. Link, Saria and me *grin* win round one with JGRDL, DarthRevanShepard and Robert coming a close second. After that Link and Saria were planning on going to dinner and I had to stay behind to look after Leo and Navi or Leo would nuke my sorry behind with an Imperial Blaster Rifle that he stole from the Galactic Empire…now then have I missed anything?... well if I have then just go back and read the previous chapter to find out because I'm just too lazy to write it out again. Well now that I've got that out of the way, let's get on with the story.

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"Change the T.V channel, I'm sick of this program" I said to Leo and Navi as we sat on the couch in the entertainment centre.

"No, I'm waiting for my favourite show to come on" Navi said back before throwing the remotes into a magical cage to prevent me from changing the channels.

"Well can you at least let me go somewhere and do something I like?" I said.

"I already told you, you have to look after us while Link and Saria are out" Leo said as he made sure that the iron ball was firmly attached to my ankle.

*sigh*

"Shhh, it's about to start" Navi said as the T.V screen flickered.

There was a moments silence as all eyes went to the television screen and then there was a bright burst of colour and loud theme music. This was followed by a large purple dinosaur who started to speak in a really annoying voice.

"HI KIDS!! LET'S HAVE FUN!!!"

*GUN NOISE, SHATTERING GLASS*

Navi looked in shock at the broken T.V and then turned towards the author who was holding a smoking 12 gauge semi-automatic shotgun.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR YOU BEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!?" Navi screamed with all her fury.

"Must……kill……Barney the Dinosaur" I muttered as my eyes flicked back and forth looking for any trace of a purple dinosaur (read my profile)

Navi's eyes started twitching and took on a red glow as her little fairy hands clenched in anger and a look of pure anger came across her face.

Leo quickly took out a key and unshackled my foot from the heavy iron ball before shouting at me.

"RUN LH!! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!"

As soon as the last word came out of his mouth a cloud of dust appeared where I used to be (don't ask me how the dust even came into the room in the first place).

"Oh Leo…someone has to get hurt for this" Navi said as an evil grin came across her features.

"……..help"

Over to Link and Saria

"I still can't believe we won that first round" Saria said as she did a little twirl of happiness.

"Yeah considering the level of competition" Link said as he smiled at Saria.

"So Link, what are we going to do while we wait for it to get to the time for our dinner appointment?" Saria said.

"Well I figured that I could take you for a ride around Hyrule Field on Epona" Link said as he turned around a corner towards the direction of Hyrule Field.

"Ok as long as it's not too dangerous" Saria said before breaking into a run and overtaking Link and sticking her tongue out at him.

"Hey, you're not going to beat me that easy" Link said as he also broke into a run and chased after Saria; a huge, happy smile on his face.

Well That Was a Short Section........oh well, over to some random location!

*WHACK, BANG, TWACK*

"Ummm, DRS you're going to break the brick wall there if you keep hitting your head against it" Robert said.

"But we were so close to winning back there!" DarthRevanShepard yelled as she continued to hit her head against the wall.

"Well we didn't win and now it's all in the past, so let's think ahead and prepared for whatever could possibly be the next event" JGRDL said as he took a sip from his milkshake that he had somehow conjured out of no-where.

"……oh ok, you sound like you're making sense there. Just let me hit this wall once more time" DRS said before turning back towards the wall and whacking her head against it.

*WHACK!!! (see, I told you she whacked it)……CRACK, CRACK*

"Umm, those cracking noises coming from the wall don't sound very good" Robert said uneasily.

"Don't worry about it Robert, this wall is perfectly safe and sound. Here I'll prove it to you" JGRDL said as he walked over to the wall, pushed the dizzy DRS away and then kicked the wall.

*CRUMBLE, THUD*

"JGRDL, are you hurt!!" Robert yelled as he looked at the massive pile of rubble that had fallen down on top of JGRDL.

"Of course I'm hurt. I just had almost a ton of bricks and mortar came down on top of me if you didn't notice!!!" JGRDL yelled from underneath the rubble.

"Well there's no need for you to be so sarcastic, I was just worried" Robert said before walking off to get himself a drink.

Just then another brick came down and landed right on the spot where JGRDL's head was. As JGRDL passed out from pain, a still dizzy DarthRevanShepard continued to stumble around.

"Look at the pretty birdies flying around my head"

At Least That Section Was Longer……next random location.

"Blow West!!!...........good, now blow East" archsage328 said as he continued to change the wind direction.

"Could you stop doing that, I'm trying to comb my hair!" EvilDestroyer said above the noise of the wind.

"Your wind is also blowing away all of my notes!" Issacivan said.

"But I have to practice my skills for the next event" archsage328 replied.

"Can't you do it somewhere else?" said ED as he once again tried to get his hair into the exact style that he wanted.

"No-one will let me practice my skills anywhere else" said archsage328.

"Well we could always build a rocket, blast you into space and then you can practice up there" Issacivan said as he gathered his precious notes.

"I like that idea!!" ED exclaimed before rushing around to find parts for a rocket.

"I'm glad you are on this team with all your smart thinking" as328 (yes I'll shorten it to that) said before going off to help EvilDestroyer (aka: ED).

"………….Twits" Issacivan said before going back to study his notes.

Nope back to the short sections…hmm let's see what the baddies are doing.

"I still can't believe that we lost during the first round!!" Ganondorf yelled as he summoned monsters and then destroyed them to relieve his anger.

"Calm down Ganny, you'll burst a blood vessel if you continue to act like this" Majora said as he walked over and put his arm around Ganondorf's shoulder.

*WHACK, THUMP*

"Don't touch me while I'm destroying things and stop calling me Ganny!!" Ganondorf yelled at the now unconscious Majora.

Mido was hiding underneath a pile of cushions in a corner of the room at this point in time. However, he accidentally bumped the wall which knocked down a very loosely attached shelf upon which was a pot filled with Ganondorf's favourite glass pokemon figurines.

*SMASH, SHATTER, TINKLE, TINKLE*

"My….my….my precious glass pokemon figurines" Ganondorf stuttered as he looked at the mess on the ground.

Mido let out a small squeak which immediately drew Ganondorf's attention.

"Mido you little worm!!!" Ganondorf roared in anger.

"S-sorry Ganondorf" Mido managed to say before being blasted by some dark energy.

"I've had enough of you, you pathetic weakling!! You are officially off the team and will be replaced by some random person!" Ganondorf said as he grabbed Mido by the scruff of the neck and then threw him outside.

"But who could ever replace me?" Mido said.

"Hiya, my name is phantomlink959 and I am absolutely awesome!!" said a strange guy who appeared out of no-where.

Mido looked at him before saying

"b*stard!"

Well that was a bit strange……I wonder where the crazy author is.

"Ugh……too much Iced Coffee hurt stomach" said a groaning guy, lying on the floor, clutching his belly. "Oh well at least nothing can happen to me now that I am practically unable to move anywhere by myself"

*MAGICAL BLUE EXPLOSION*

"I found you Hammer Boy!" yelled the blue haired goddess, Nayru as she rushed from the area where she had landed.

"f*ck*

"Look at you, so stuffed with drink that you can barely move by yourself. It's a good thing that I can take you back to the heavens where I can nurse you back to health" said Nayru.

"Curse you for being so tempting Iced Coffee!!"

*ANOTHER MAGICAL BLUE EXPLOSION!!"

Man I'm really Getting a Workout Here……over to Link and Saria.

Clear notes sounded across land of Hyrule where the eventually found the ears of a browny-orange horse with a white mane. The horse perked up its ears at the sound of familiar music, before galloping off towards the source of the music.

"How far away do you think Epona is?" Saria asked as Link put down his ocarina.

"I have no idea, but no-matter how far away she is; Epona will always get here quickly" Link replied.

Sure enough, after a few minutes the figure of a fast approaching horse came into the two companions' vision. After another ten seconds, Epona stood in front of Link and Saria, snorting with happiness at being called by her friend and master.

"She really is a magnificent creature" Saria said with awe as she watched Link walk over and pat the horse on the nose.

"Come over here and let me introduce you to Epona, the fastest and most loyal horse in the entire world" Link said.

Saria walked towards Epona before coming to stop next to Link.

"Now then Saria, reach your hand out slowly and hold it in front of Epona's nose, but don't touch yet" Link said.

Saria did as Link said and then waited. Epona looked at the hand before sniffing it. Finding that the hand smelled nice and the owner of it looked friendly, Epona showed her acceptance by licking Saria's hand. Link laughed as Saria stared at her saliva covered hand. However, he soon stopped laughing as Saria wiped her hand on his face.

"I'll get you back for that sometime Saria" Link said as he used his hat to wipe to saliva off his face. "Well now that Epona seems to like you, I'll help you get up."

"It won't be dangerous will it? And you promise that you won't go fast" Saria said nervously as Link helped her onto Epona's back.

"Don't worry, I promise" Link said with his fingers crossed behind his back, before climbing onto Epona's saddle with Saria sitting in front of him.

With that Link jabbed his heels into Epona's sides, immediately setting Epona off at a gallop that was close to her maximum speed.

"SLOW DOWN LINK!!" Saria screamed as she clung as tight as she could to Epona's mane.

Link laughed as he kept Epona travelling at the same speed and a grin came across his face.

"I TOLD YOU I WOULD I WOULD GET YOU BACK FOR WIPING THAT SPIT ON MY FACE!" Link yelled.

Hehehehe……*grin*………let's see what's happened to Navi and Leo

"I hope that you have learned your lesson now Leo" Navi said as she cracked the whip she was holding in her hand.

"Yes I have…never ever release the person who you were about to injure" a bruised, cut, burned and slightly concussed Leo replied.

"Very good, now I am sure that you will never make anymore mistakes in the future" Navi said.

"Yes Navi" Leo said as he managed to crawl over to a seat.

"Now what I don't understand is why LinkHammer destroyed the T.V when Barney came on" said Navi as she looked at the area where the T.V had been.

"Probably because Barney is a freak of nature who is even more annoying than you, and I know that that is extremely hard to believe" said Leo as he read my little guide on how to describe annoying things.

"Oh Leo, I think you need to learn another lesson now……the title of this next lesson is…Never Insult my Favourite Characters or me even if it was what LH's guide told you to do!!!" Navi said menacingly as she cracked the whip again and fluttered towards Leo with murder in her eyes.

*whimper*

Ok I think we've seen enough here……onwards to the author……again

"I keep telling you, I'm fine. I just drank a bit too much Iced Coffee!!!" yelled an almost hysterical author.

"Listen, you need plenty of rest and you also need to calm down, Hammer Boy" Nayru said as she checked to make sure that the restraints were still holding.

The door of Nayru's room opened to reveal her red haired sister, Din, who had a look of annoyance on her face.

"Can't you keep it down in here? You've made Farore put in the wrong coordinates four times already, and I'm running out of celestial lighting to hit the targets with" Din said angrily.

"Listen, I have a sick patient and we shouldn't be disturbed so stop interrupting me when I'm looking after Hammer Boy" Nayru said back.

"If you're so concerned about that pitiful mortal then why don't you just stay by his side 24/7 and never come back here!!" Din yelled back.

At this point Farore decided to do the right thing and break up the argument in a nice, sensible and logical fashion.

"UNLESS YOU TWO SHUT-UP THIS INSTANCE, YOU WILL FIND A CELESTIAL LIGHTNING BOLT COMING AND HITTING YOU RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES!!!" Farore yelled from her room (see what I mean. Perfectly logical, sensible and nice).

Din glared in the direction of Farore's room and then looked back at Nayru.

"I…I'm sorry sis……I let my anger get the better of me and didn't consider your feelings" Din said as she held out her hand in apology.

Nayru ran up and grabbed Din in a big hug.

"That's ok sis…I should have considered how much work you have to do and how many people you have to strike down" Nayru said with a small tear in her eye.

"Now that you two have forgiven and understood each other we can get back to what we were all doing" Farore said as she came out of her room to join the hug.

Just as the moment was getting really good and sisterly there was a large explosion like a cannon.

"What was that?" said Nayru as she looked around.

"I expect it has something to do with LinkHammer" said Din.

"But he can't do anything, he's restrained on the medical bed" Nayru replied.

"Ummm, I hate to tell you this Nayru, but he's managed to escape" Farore said.

"But I made sure that nothing could escape from those restraints. I know he's not strong enough to break through them" Nayru replied.

"Well he didn't break through them. Judging by the teeth marks, I would say that he chewed through them" said Farore.

"We have to look for him" Nayru said worriedly.

"I'm afraid he's already gone, judging by the fact that the explosion was from our canon, meaning he probably blasted himself back down to Hyrule" said Din. "But don't worry, I'm sure he couldn't have done anything seeing as he would have wanted to get back to Hyrule as quickly as possible."

"But Din, you left all your Iced Coffees next to the canon" said Farore.

Din immediately rushed from Nayru's room into the canon room. Sure enough there were no Iced Coffees in sight. Back inside Nayru's Room, Nayru and Farore covered their ears as abusive yelling came from the canon room.

Meanwhile Back on Hyrule

Inside a small crater just outside of Lon Lon Ranch, the figure of a well known author collapsed into unconsciousness. Just before he did, the following words could be heard.

"As soon as I regain consciousness drink Iced Coffees and invest in parachutes"

*GROAN, THUMP*

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Well I hope that you enjoyed that chapter. I hope that I haven't lost my touch in the long amount of time that I have spent not being able to write. Well you guys know the drill: Press the Green Button and give me a good review.........then drink lots of iced coffee!!!!
Thanks for reading this chapter!

~LinkHammer~