Hi everyone, hopefully you're all screaming with excitement because this chapter is now out......probably not.
Ok so we'll skip to the next day as I really can't be bothered wrapping up the events of the day we were on before…..did that make sense? Regardless of the sense it may or may not have made we shall now begin the events of a new and exciting day in Hyrule where we shall find out what the next fantastic game event is…….JGRDL I believe that you will already know what this one is as you are the one who suggested it. As such here's a big thankyou in the form of Iced Coffee and Cookies :)
Well that's enough of my rambling, none of you probably even read this anyway..........tell me if you do.
AND ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"That was a great breakfast" Leo said as he sat back in his miniature fairy seat.
"Yeah, I never knew that you could cook so well Link" Saria said as she took away the breakfast dishes to the dish washer that had somehow been installed hundreds of years before its time *wink*.
"Well when you're always out saving the world there's no-one to cook for you so you learn a little bit and of course the better you are, the better you eat and everyone here knows how I love to eat" Link replied with a grin.
"What do you mean there was no-one to cook for you? I was there!" Navi said with a look of annoyance upon her little fairy face……if you can see it.
"Navi, there are amebae on Saturn who can boil a better egg than you" I said from near the doorway (thankyou Black Adder Goes Forth).
"DIE!!!!" yelled the fairy before flying off out the door after a fleeing, screaming author.
"How can she muster the energy to kill this early in the morning?" Saria said as she shook her head.
"I don't know Saria but sometimes I wish she could have used that energy on our adventures to kill the bosses and let me relax" replied Link.
A few moments of silence passed before Leo looked up from the newspaper and asked "Soooooo does anyone here even know what an amebae is? And where the hell is Saturn?"
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"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"
"Whoever is making that infernal screaming can they just shut-up before I nuke your sorry but!!" yelled DarthRevanShepard from the couch where she was trying to watch a new movie……just don't ask me what it is cause how would I know?
"Don't worry about it; it's probably just LinkHammer who has angered Navi yet again who is now trying to kill him" Robert said from over the top of the cereal box…..mmmmmm Fruit Loops.
*DING DONG*
"Someone's at the door JGRDL!!" Robert and DRS both yelled at the same time.
"Yeah, yeah I'll go get it" mumbled JGRDL as he stumbled down the stairs and opened the door…….to meet a smiling Farore.
"…………………so pretty" JG whispered.
"Good morning, I'm sorry for disturbing you but my sisters and I have run out tea bags, do you have any?" Farore asked very kindly (yeah, that's cheesy I know).
"Uh sure, come in and help yourself" JG said as he moved aside.
"No need for me to come in, I am a goddess after all" said Farore before clicking her fingers and summoning a box of tea bags from JG's, Robert's and DRS's kitchen. "Thankyou so much….Hey you're JGRDL aren't you; I can't wait to compete against you in the next event."
"……………so pretty" JG whispered again.
"Hey Farore what's taking you so long?" said a blue haired teenage girl; yup Nayru (Ok so the goddesses don't want to be old and wrinkly and if I'm gonna have some obsessed stalker she's gotta be close to my age).
"Nothing, I'm coming back now. Cya JGRDL" said Farore before walking off towards Nayru who suddenly saw a running figure being chased by a fairy and decided to join in with the chase.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" *sudden increased volume of screaming for no apparent reason*
"Get me my bazooka" said DRS as flames burned in her eyes.
"Eeep" said Robert as he hid behind his cereal box.
"So…pretty" whispered JG to no-one in particular.
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"AAAHHH FIRE!!" yelled EvilDestroyer as the contents of the frying pan turned into an inferno.
"I've got the fire hydrant" yelled Issacivan.
"No need for that. My wind power will put out the fire" said archsage328 as a strong gust of wind blew in from the door towards the frying pan…….only to carry sparks from the fire over onto a pile of straw next to Midna, Medli and Tetra's team headquarters which then set their patio on fire.
"hehe….oops" said archsage328.
"They're not going to be happy about that" said EvilDestroyer as he put on a helmet to protect him from the expected wrath of Midna.
"Yeah" said archsage328 as he did the same thing.
"I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU MEDLI!!!" yelled Issacivan as he burst out the room with the fire hydrant.
"…..he so totally likes her" said ED.
"yup" said archsage328 as he put down the video camera that he was holding. "hehe this will look great on youtube".
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"Hey you missed a spot" said Ganondorf as he sat back in a black leather recliner and took a drink from his ale….
(Hey this is a kid's story, no alcohol allowed. Ganondorf: "AWW MAAAAAN!!!")
"Don't worry, I'll get too it right away" said phantomlink959 as he quickly brushed over the mentioned missed spot with some blue paint.
"My lovely pink room" Majora sobbed to himself in the corner.
"Ah, it's good to have such a loyal servant instead of that pathetic, snivelling worm we had before" said Ganondorf as he sipped from the coke we gave him in place of the ale.
"Hey that's no way to talk about me!" Mido shouted from his cage on a table next to Majora's bed. "And how did you get him to paint the room blue instead of black or grey?"
"NEVER RAISE THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH ME!!!!......and I actually quite like blue" said Ganondorf.
"I suggested it and because I'm such an awesome team member Ganondorf and Majora are letting me have first choice as to what I'd like to do in the next event" said phantom (yep we're calling him that for short) as he also grabbed a coke out of the fridge, now that his painting was finished.
"……….my lovely pink room" Majora sobbed again before a torrent of tears started flooding the floor.
A few hours later in the main assembly area.
"Good morning one and all, and welcome to a brand new day and thus a brand new event for the Hyrule Games" announced Volvagia with a cheery voice.
"Whatever you overgrown and thoroughly annoying lizard" murmured Dark Link as he tried to sleep in his announcer's / judge's chair.
"I'm sure you are all extremely excited about what our next event may be!" Volvagia said energetically.
"Whatever" Dark Link said with a yawn.
*WHACK*
"Stop killing the mood DL" Volvagia said as he put away my hammer which I had loaned to him…for a price of course.
"HEY SHOULDN'T I BE THE ONE HITTING YOU!?" shouted Dark Link.
"Nope, I paid LH enough money and iced coffee to let him re-write the script" Volvagia said confidently.
………..or was it enough?…………
*WHACK*
"It seems like the script has just been re-re-written" smirked Dark Link as he put away the hammer that he had taken from where Volvagia had hidden it.
"As you can all see, we are rather busy with personal issues here and so Volvagia and I managed to bring in a guest star who is apparently an expert in this events field, so without any further ado I bring you GreatAether96!!"
"Hi and thanks for the introduction Dark Link" said a blonde haired, bluey-green eyed boy as he walked up to the podium. "As you now know my name is GreatAether96 and I will be judging this event. As such I hope that you are ready for the strain of trying to win the………..DODONGO RODEO!!!!!!!"
"WOOHOO!!!" yelled JGRDL from the back of the crowd.
"This was your awesome idea wasn't it JGRDL" said Robert ecstatically.
"Yup" answered JG.
*DOUBLE WHACK*
"Why am I stuck with these two morons?" said DRS as she put away her hockey stick and the other two guys collapsed to the floor with the cartoon stars and birds floating around their heads.
"Hey this event's probably going to be really awesome but totally tough at the same time" ED said.
"We're going to need all the advantages if we're going to win this one. Issacivan, do you have any notes?" archsage328 asked.
"Of course, let it not be said that this nerd is never prepared" said Issacivan proudly as he took a super hero stance…….SUPER NERD!!!
"This sounds like it's going to be really difficult" Saria said nervously.
"Don't worry Saria, I've had lot's of experience with Dodongo's so I'm sure we can do well" said Link.
"And I know everything about them because of my great fairy wisdom and my ability to sense weak points" Navi said proudly.
"Yeah, all because you snuck into Issacivan's room and stole his notes because you are completely hopeless and don't know anything about everything especially Dodongo's" I said as I stretched after that running I did earlier.
*WHACK, BAM, POW*………."I think I would rather face the wrath of those Dodongo's"…....*COLLAPSE TO THE GROUND*
"Ouch, that's gotta hurt" said Leo as he slightly backed away from Navi.
"I am so having the main part in this event" phantom said excitedly.
"But I'm the dark lord and so I should get to ride the Dodongo" said Ganondorf.
"No way, you said that I could have whatever part I want in this next event and so I'm taking it!" phantom shouted.
"I can change my mind you know; I'm evil!" Ganondorf replied.
"…….I have an iced coffee which I can give to LinkHammer to make your life a living hell if I don't get what I want this time" phantom said with a smirk.
"Oh, all right……sometimes I think I should have stuck with freckles"
"……..I want to ride the pretty monster" Majora whispered to himself.
"There are three rounds to this event" GA96 said (that's GreatAether96). "Each round requires a different rider. In the first round you will ride a small Dodongo. The second rider will be on a large Dodongo. The third round will involve all of the third riders going in for battle while riding large Dodongo's. The points allocated for you in the first two rounds will be determined by how long you can stay on the Dodongo. The third round winner gets 10 points for being last to fall off while the other go to 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. In the end, the team with the most points wins. When competing the two team members not riding will act as rodeo clowns. Also, Dodongo's are normally quite slow creatures and so riding them would be easy. As such we have hyped them on sugar, energy drinks, coffee, red cordial and have feed them all hundreds of incredibly hot 'n' spicy chilly peppers, SO PREPARE FOR A BUMPY RIDE!!!"
Another few hours later
"Ok so we have to decide who'll ride with which event" Leo said as he picked up a pen and paper.
"We'll I've got the least experience in this type of area and since I'm also the smallest I suppose that I should ride the little Dodongo" Saria said.
"Ok, but as long as you remember that even though it's small it's very dangerous. I don't wont to be known as the guardian fairy who let his master get hurt" Leo said as he wrote down Saria's name next to the small Dodongo.
"Link has experience at fighting from horseback so I think that he should be in the final event. He is the strongest after all" I said as I sipped an Iced Coffee.
"I thought you'd want to take the glory for yourself, are you scared of the big bad Dodongo battle" Navi laughed.
*WHACK*
"Stupid fairy."
"Well that means that you are our second rider LH. By the way, I need to have a word to you in private about the event" Link said before walking off to a balcony that was just installed.
"Ok"
A few moments passed while Link whispered something to me and then my face turned white before I muttered a simple "On my life".
"It is on your life" Link said before patting my head and walking off to talk to Saria.
"What did he do to you LH?" Leo asked.
"Yeah I wanna know so I can scare the cr*p out of you" Navi cheered.
Flashback
"While I am riding I won't be able to protect Saria. She knows the risks involved in the games but if she gets hurt I don't know what I would do. So you must be there to protect her and take all the blows from the Dodngo's like a true clown or the consequences…will…be…extremely…severe.So do you swear to protect her for me?"
"On my life"
"It is on your life"
*freaky*
End Flashback
"So the moral of this story is that if you don't protect the girl the guy loves he will kill or seriously injure you" said Leo.
*nod*
"So you face serious bodily harm from jumping in the way of hyped, dangerous, fire breathing Dodongo's or the wrath of Link" Navi added.
*another nod*
Leo and Navi looked at each other before saying in unison "I think the Dodongo's will be gentler."
*Rapid nodding*
Over to another team
"I'm riding the little one!" Robert shouted.
"What? Why do you get to have the easy one?" asked DRS.
"Because if I can actually stay on for a substantial amount of time then I can impress the ladies" Robert said with a wink.
*WHACK*
"You are so hopeless" DRS said as she put away her hockey stick for the second time that day.
"I'm in the final round because I thought of this event and because I have no sense of danger or common sense, YAY!!" JG yelled enthusiastically.
"Well that means I'm in the second event. At least I won't look wimpy like Robert or be killed like JGRDL" DRS said casually.
"Hey stop picking on me!" Robert yelled.
*WHACK*
"I don't think he'll ever learn when to be quiet" said JG before wandering off to find a milkshake.
Another team
"I should ride the little one because I'm arguably the most important member of this team and so any injury to me would be terrible" Issacivan said.
"What do you mean the most important team member?" said ED
"Well I have all the notes on the Dodongo's and so I have the strategy to win so thus I am temporarily the most important" Issacivan said triumphantly. "Speaking of my notes……….WHERE HAVE THEY GONE!!?"
"hahaha, so Mr. I'm so important cause I've got notes has lost his notes!" ED laughed.
"I'LL FIND THEM!" yelled Issacivan before running off.
"Now that that is out of the way I'll let you know that I'll be rider in the third round" as328 said.
"Why is that?" asked ED
"Well with my ability to manipulate the wind I am given a prime opportunity to strike my enemies from afar and keep the air pressure at a level that will guarantee that I don't fall from the saddle" as328 replied.
"………..you just pulled all of that from you a**e"
"………..yup"
Next Team
"I'm riding third because I want to be in the most entertaining event!" phantom shouted.
"But I'm the most powerful, and an Evil King to boot so I should be riding third" Ganondorf yelled back.
"Oh, would you look at this Iced Coffee that I'm holding in my hand. I'm sure LinkHammer would do something for this" phantom said dangerously.
"Ok, I get your point….stupid team members"
"I want to ride the pretty little Dodongo!" Majora said cheerfully like an energetic small child.
"Fine, you can have your little Dodongo. I guess I'll just be riding second and I guess that it's good to let others have the spotlight for a while……while I steal the audiences wallets, hehehe" Ganondorf replied.
And onto the next t……ooooh a buffet!
Well seeing as the creature in charge of changing the scenes is currently stuffing his face I'm afraid that we will be unable to show what the remaining three teams combinations are going to be. To make up for this interruption we wish for all of you to go and do something just for you, something to make your day worthwhile. This hereby ends this chapter. We now leave you with footage of a dancing bear!
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Well what did you all think of this chapter? Sorry it took me so long to update but I've just been extremely busy and writers block has been hitting me over the head with a cricket bat…….wait a second, that's not writers block! DIE NAVI!!
*WHACK, BAM, POW, SLAM*………*gasping for breath*
Ok so you may have won this battle Navi but I shall smite you soon!!
Well now that that's out of the way, please review *puppy dog eyes*. By the way, if you are going to try and flame me…be warned that I do have many good retorts and I will…MAKE…THEM…HURT!!!........just kidding; if you are going to flame, make it something creative that let's me know that you are not just some brainless retard trying to put someone down…this way you'll be noted for having some brainpower!
...........sorry if that sounded a bit harsh.
Cya
~LinkHammer~