Love?

Never heard of the word.

Sure I've got parents and all, but I don't care about them.

My name is Kakuzu, and I'm not just a cutter. Even though blood is so red and glorious.

Getting off track here and sounding a bit like Hidan. Don't get me wrong, the boy does enjoy cutting himself, and I can sympathize with that.

But the killing not so much.

You see I was born with a heart defect, I always knew I was hated in the world.

So you're probably thinking oh just some kid whining about how his life is shit.

Well that's basically my life, although I'm not going to complain about some crappy people in my life, or some date that I never got. And no before you ask I've never had a relationship, ever.

Because my life has basically been me in a hospital bed.

I've had four heart transplants since I was four.

Your read that right, four.

Still think your life is crappy? Try spending a good amount of it in a hospital bed. I had literally no friends, I hated my life. Probably why I turned to cutting.

I hated that always just as I was going to die some person thinking they were a saint gave their heart up, and of course being a child I was always high up on the list. You think after two failures they'd go to someone else who desperately needs one.

It made me truly hate my life.

I mean some kid's Dad or Uncle or even the kid himself could need a new heart, and here I was a lost cause already getting that heart that they so badly needed.

Yeah I was pretty screwed up as a kid.

And it just got worse, going to the bathroom at first it was with a razor, just slicing my skin, starting with my arms, but soon they were scarred, so it went to my legs, feet, hands, torso, anywhere I could tear the skin and let the blood flow into the tub.

But one day I needed a cut, badly, only to find the razor gone.

Did I have any idea where it'd gone?

Did I think of going to ask my mom where it was and make up some fake excuse?

Would I be in rehab if I thought that rationally at the moment?

Nope, I'd taken a towel, wound it around my hand, then punched the glass mirror we had in the bathroom. The towel did it's job of muffling the noise, and soon I had a shard in my hand and basically went to town, I carved my body up like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Sorry a bit graphic for you?

I basically loss consciousness from blood loss.

Only to wake up with two boys staring at me, squealing when I was awake. Tobi and Deidara, welcoming me to Happy Leaf.

But still things got worse and worse for me.

I spiraled into depression, my uneasiness at not cutting was so noticeable by everyone who knew me, but not to the therapists.

They thought I was making much that I was allowed to go into the city with a chaperone of course.

And I had it all planned, no more torture no more hell for me. I was finally going to do it. I'd stolen a bottle of pills, ones that would be harmless to someone with a normal heart, not with five diseased ones.

I was going to kill myself.

I broke away from the adult, running into an ally.

And I bumped into someone.

The pill bottle clattered away and I'd cursed angrily, so had the boy. I looked at him to yell at him, when I noticed something.

He was actually kind of cute. Bright purple pink eyes, silver hair. And that's when I noticed the blood dripping from his side, one hand pressed to the wound. He looked at me, the anger so present in his face seconds before had faded.

"Help." he let out a tiny whimper, before literally falling on top of me.

And I knew I had to help him.

(The present)

"Kuzu?" came a voice, snapping me out of my thoughts as someone sat on my bed. "You're clawing your pillow again.

I looked at my hand to see the poor pillow squished under my angry hand, I released it, and it stayed that way, I'd probably have to fluff it up again.

"What are you thinking about?" Hidan asked, crawling closer to me, we were both in pajamas and it was supposed to be lights out.

"How shitty life is."

"Agreed Kuzu." said Hidan with a nod, and he plopped next to me.

"Hidan."

"Please Kuzu? Please pretty please." I sighed.

"Fine but tomorrow you're sleeping in your bed."

"We'll see about that asshole."

"What was that Hidan?" I asked sweetly, and he snuggled close to me.

"Nothing, night Kuzu!" he chirped.

I looked at him, and smiled.

If we hadn't bumped into each other that day.

We'd both be dead.

And we'd have never been eternally happy.