Master Roshi greeted me like any old man does; with a hand-shake, a wide, toothless grin, and some candy. I didn't know him very well; apparently, he was the closest thing to a father that Papa had. So in a way, he was like a grandpa to me.

I'd never had a grandparent before, so it was kind of fun to think of him as such.

Krillin didn't mention the issues from that morning, so I was grateful for that. They fed me some pretty good food, and left me alone for the rest of the morning.

I liked that they were not like Gohan's wife, Videl, or Bulma; they didn't want to know how life was, how I was doing in school, they didn't gawk at how tall I was. They just left me alone. I suppose I got a better deal than I expected.

I had all day to think about this morning. That was the only drag. There was nothing to distract me. Da was the kind of man to hold grudges for a while. And if I couldn't go talk to him, how was I supposed to prove that I was truly sorry for disobeying?

But then I thought, why should I be sorry? I saved Kage's life. If I hadn't been, there, he would have probably died.

I shivered at the thought.

I would never take drugs. They were too scary. I saw how miserable he was. How thin, and gangly he was, and how all he could think about were drugs.

I could see his face clearly in my mind. His gaunt, hollow cheeks; his slightly crooked nose; his angular jaw; his one ear that stuck our further than the other; his deep, scarlet eyes; his soft, pink lips.

I let myself fall onto the sand of the beach.

I would do anything for another kiss. It had been so… I don't even know how to describe it. It was something that was not only right, but perfect. It was like I had been living inside a shell of myself for a lifetime, and with that one kiss, I was free. I knew who I was, and why I was alive; all because of that kiss.

I lay spread eagle in the sand for almost an hour, just thinking.

The air suddenly smelled of rain. I could taste electricity around me before lighting struck. I stood, and went inside. For the first time in my life, I was so lonely it hurt.

For the next few days, I stayed up in the guest room, and slipped into some kind of a depression. I felt like if someone were to say anything to me, I would just burst into tears, like a girl. Everything was painful to think about, and I couldn't force myself to think of nothing.

Krillin came up to tell me dinner was ready, and I had to stop myself from purged my emotions on him right there.

I came downstairs to eat slowly. Android 18 and Maron had gone to stay in a hotel downtown. Apparently, Krillin had been worried about what would happen to them when I went into Rut Season. He didn't seem to understand that when I did go into Rut Season, I would have no interest in humans. And even if I did, I would not play favorites with genders, so he wouldn't have been any safer than they would have been.

"What's wrong, bud?" Krillin asked as he ate.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "I guess I just miss home."

I wished Lysander were here, so that I wouldn't be so miserable. I just needed to talk to someone who understood me.

"I know. But three weeks will pass like that, so don't you even worry."

I didn't say anything after that.

Days passed, and I came to a point where I was desperate to talk to someone. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was so upset all the time, and I couldn't control all the thoughts and worries I had about everything.

I became extremely self-conscious, and obsessed with my appearance. I started skipping meals in order to loose weight. I didn't want to come out of my room for any reason other than to go to the bathroom; and I didn't even like that, because I would look in the mirror and think about how hideous I was.

It was like a shock of teenage insecurities that usually take a few years to develop coming up within days.

Eventually, I snapped. I broke down into emotional sobbing when I was called down for dinner, unable to stop myself. The sobbing was so violent; I couldn't even answer Kirllin and Master Roshi's questions about what was wrong with me.

"I don't know," I finally managed to spit out. "I can't- I don't-"

They couldn't get anything more out of me, so Krillin called my parents. He talked to someone for a few moments, explaining what happened, and that he didn't know what to do.

After a few minutes, he handed me the phone.

Da was on the other line.

"Aizel, you're perfectly fine. This is just you're first Rut Season. Your body is overloaded with hormones, and they're making you unable to control your emotions."

I wondered what he was talking about. This had to be something bigger than hormones. I had to have some kind of physiological disorder or something. "No, Da," I insisted. "Something's wrong with me. I- everything is all messed up. I can't think straight." I paused to let my voice drop. "I think I might be dying," My voice cracked. I had been thinking that for a few days, but had not had the courage to say it out loud.

He cleared his throat over the phone casually. "You're not dying. You're perfectly fine. Tell me this; are you taller?"

I paused to think about this. I moved over toward the counter. A week ago, it had reached my hip; now it was at mid-thigh, nearly four inches shorter it seemed. "Yes," I replied.

"See? This is just puberty in overdrive. I'm going to bed, so is there anything else you want?"

"You're not going to help me?" I asked, and my voice sounded pitiful even to me.

"Help you how? Kakorot and I went through the same thing, and so did all your brothers. You have to deal with this in your own way."

"Well, can I come over and spend some time with you guys for a while?" I asked.

"You know the rule. We're not even supposed to be talking right now."

"Please, Da," I begged him, almost choking on a sob. "I can't do this all by myself. I feel like I'm loosing my mind."

"Aizel, trust me; you might think that everything is going awry, but you're the only one that's different. In a few days, it will pass, and you'll wonder why you were so upset in the first place. Just make sure you don't do anything stupid, and you'll be fine."

"Da," I said with one last desperate attempt, "I'm asking you; please; help me,"

"I can't." His tone was completely dead. He didn't believe in saying good-bye, so he just hung up.

I held the phone for several seconds before hanging it up. He hadn't made me feel any better. This could not just be because of Rut Season. I had expected being horny for a few weeks; not this overwhelming feeling of anxiety and impending doom.

But Da had been right about the being taller thing. I hadn't noticed that. I had been too worried about how I looked. But now was I too tall? How tall were normal kids my age? Would I not stop going and become one of those giants from TV that could never lead a normal life? What if I got so tall, that I would become too skinny and look like some kind of anorexic?

I wanted to call Da back, and see what he thought about all of those things, but decided I wouldn't bother him. If he didn't care that I was loosing whatever grip on life I had before, then I would just keep it to myself. He'd regret it when I did something destructive just because he refused to help me.

I stood near the phone a long time, before Krillin asked, "Are you okay, kid? You feel better?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I do." It was a lie, but I didn't want to seem like I was being overly dramatic. Da's little talks almost never made me feel better; usually, they made me worry about things I hadn't even thought of before.

Krillin nodded, but did not seem to believe me. "Still hungry?"

I shook my head. "I'm going to bed."

I went upstairs and lay down, falling asleep within moments.

A few hours later, the house was still. I was awake, and hungry; but I wasn't going to eat. I opened the window and went outside to stare at the water for a while. The stars were out, but there was no moon. I'd never seen a moon, other than in pictures. Papa had described it to me, and it was almost always in the stories Da told; but I had never seen it.

I saw my reflection in the water, and it made me sick. I slapped the water with my hand and took off into the air.

I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing. I was leaving the island; I had been told to stay where I was; but now, I didn't care. If they didn't think it necessary to help me, then I didn't think it necessary to follow their rules.

I was in my pajama pants and a T-shirt, which did little to prevent the cold from hitting me. I didn't care. I just needed to get away for a while and think.

I went into town. I didn't have any shoes on, so I had to watch my step. I saw people who stared at me with questioning looks on their faces. I panicked, for no reason at all, and ran down an ally. Blood was rushing through my ears and neck, and I was panting, though it had not been a far run.

I slumped down onto the ground. I wrapped my arms around my chest, and just knelt there, shaking and wondering if I truly was loosing my mind. Why would anyone come here? What reason did I have to be out here at two or three in the morning?

I was crouched behind some boxes, and then I heard someone say something. A woman. She was begging for her life, it seemed.

"Please, I have a daughter; please don't kill me. Here, take my purse,"

She was slammed against the wall by a man in a black ski mask; another man grabbed her arms and held them above her head. She began yelling for help, but no one came.

I stared blankly with bewilderment for several seconds before I stood up.

The man in the ski mask turned and jumped. "Hey!" He cried, "A kid!"

The other man turned around, letting his grip loosen just enough for the woman to break free and run off.

I stared at them as they came closer to me.

"What are you doing out here so late, kid?" the man in the ski mask asked. He pulled out a switchblade from his pocket, and held it low at his side.

I didn't know myself, so I just shrugged.

"Where's your mommy? I bet she's worried about you,"

I opened my mouth to reply, when the other man grabbed my ass and pulled me closer to him. "Nice and firm; I love the young ones." He buried his head into my neck and inhaled deeply.

My skin broke out into goose flesh, and I pushed him off me. I went to run, but the other man caught my wrist and held the knife to the side of my face.

"Wait, you don't want to stay a while? I'll tell you how you can make ten bucks," He pointed down, but I didn't know what that meant, so I kicked him in the head.

His head twisted sharply to one side, and he crashed to the ground.

The other man's mouth opened into an 'O' shape. "The hell…?" He asked, and then grabbed my arm. "What the hell did you do?!" He screamed at me, so I head butted him to make him be quiet.

His head exploded with blood, and he fell back onto the ground, sprawled over his partner.

I staggered back, and then ran. They were dead. I killed them. Both of them. Even though they had touched me, they were humans. I wasn't supposed to hurt humans. It wasn't a fair fight.

I didn't stop to make sure I wasn't stepping on anything, for I no longer cared. I was trembling, my heart racing in my ears. I kept running until I made my way into the heart of the city; right to Capsule Corp.

For a moment I hesitated, unsure if I should go in. I had been told to stay away, but I'd already broken that rule by standing in the yard.

My knees were shaky, and I was cold and hungry. I decided I'd go in, get some food, and then leave. Bulma wouldn't mind… probably.

It was dark, but I made sure to stay in the blind spots of the cameras. I'd spent a whole summer figuring them out, and I was surprised that the knowledge actually came in handy. I didn't think Bulma was home, which was fortunate since I didn't really want to talk to her.

I went into the kitchen, and paused, wondering how I was going to get food without being seen. I stood for about five minutes contemplating, until I heard a crash, and then a scream.

I slipped out into the hall to see what had happened.

There was a figure on the ground, and for a moment, I thought it was the humans that had attacked me in the ally. But then I realized how ridiculous that thought was, and abolished it.

The figure was swearing, shaking, and screaming in agony.

I went closer to the person, and knelt down beside them. I had an idea of who it was. "Kage?" I whispered.

His knees were curled to his chest, and his arms were overcome with violent tremors. "Aizel," He croaked out, and grabbed the front of my T-shirt with one trembling hand, "I'm dying, I'm dying," He kept whispering, "Please, don't let me die. I'm… I'm scared- I don't want to die. Don't let me die,"

I hesitated, "A-are you bleeding?"

"No," He said, but then shook his head, "I don't think so. I don't know. I don't know; I'm in a lot of pain,"

"Okay, come on. We'll go into the bedroom."

There weren't any cameras in the bedrooms. I tried to get him to his feet but he screamed.

"No, don't move me! Oh, God! My back! Ahh, I'm in too much pain to move," His eyes were squeezed tightly shut, his grip on me like a vice. He began to sob in agony.

"Alright," I said, "Okay. I won't move you." He was scaring me. I'd never seen anyone act like that before.

"Vegeta," He said suddenly, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I … I should have never said anything. I should have just been happy with what I had. Forgive me, forgive me," He repeated this over and over, pulling me down into a crushing hug. "I was so stupid," He sobbed. "And now I'm dying, and you're dead, and there's nothing I can do; there's nothing… I can do…"

He fell back onto the ground, chest heaving. He stared up at the ceiling for a while, lost in thought.

"Kage?" I asked when he'd been silent for a while. "Are you okay?"

"Do you remember," He suddenly said, "When I first came here, and it started to snow?" He laughed, as if he'd not just been in immense pain, "And I'd never seen it before, and thought the sky was falling? You called me and idiot, and threw a snow ball at me. I remember getting frost bite, and Bulma yelled at us both. Do you remember?"

He was grinning at me, as if he expected me to know exactly what he was talking about. He thought I was my father. He was confused; or perhaps delusional.

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Do you want to go into the bedroom now?"

He nodded back at me, and moved to his feet. He leaned on the wall as I guiding him into one of the many guestrooms.

We made it to the bedroom before he collapsed again into a fit of screaming agony.

He curled his arm around me, pulling me down to the ground with him. His nails dug into my skin.

He was trembling again, having another of those bazaar fits. His muscles went rock hard as they clenched. He screamed loudly, his voice echoing throughout the room.

"I can't do it," He insisted, "I can't,"

I nodded, and pulled him to his feet anyway. It was literally five steps from the bed; surely, he could do that.

"No!" He choked on a sob, "Please, no more,"

That sounded familiar. I shook my head, and forced him to move all the way to the bed and lie down.

He grabbed onto my shirt again and begged, "Please, I need a drink. I'm going to die if I don't have one soon."

"I can't get you a drink," I said firmly, detaching his hands from me. "You can't have anymore."

He stared at me, and then pounded his fist against the backboard, cracking it in two. "God damn it!" He cried, "Fucking," He went off into a tangent of words I could not fully understand.

I stepped away from the bed and closed the door, flipping on the light.

He hissed like an animal, and covered his face to block the light. After a few seconds, he let his arms drop and he fell eerily silent.

He looked even worse than before, if that were possible. His face was pale, and covered with sweat. His hair was tangled and messy; his eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with red. His teeth were chattering.

"Are you cold?" I asked, stepping towards him.

"No," He spat, eyes narrowing at me.

"What are you think about?" I wanted to touch him, but I didn't think that was a good idea at the moment.

He nodded at a window. "I'm thinking about breaking the window, and slitting my throat with the glass."

I bit my lip, and went to cover him up with the blanket anyway. "Why where you out in the hallway?"

"I was looking for my drugs. The woman took them and hid them. She probably took them all herself." He was very bitter now. First he was guilty and sad, then scared, then happy, and now pissed off. He didn't seem to be able to control these violent mood swings.

I nodded and put a pillow behind his head. He stared at me with his head cocked to the side, and sweat dripping down his face.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. "Thirsty?"

He shook his head. "I'm okay." He paused. "I don't want to be left alone, though,"

I nodded. I didn't want to leave him alone; not if he wanted to cut himself.

He beckoned for me to come closer. "Lay with me," He moved over and motioned for me to lie next to him.

I did as asked, welcoming the contact, though wary of what he might do. I pulled the covers up over myself, and he put one arm behind my head and the other and the other onto the small of my back.

I looked up at him nervously. He smelled like sickness; like the people in the hospital did. Like he was dying.

He grinned at me, the motion twisting his face, and showing too many teeth. "Hello, love," He whispered, and rubbed his nose against my own. He tipped my head closer to his chest and rested his own head on top of mine.

I'd never been held like that; not the way he did it. He clung to me, like I was a critical aspect of his life. Like I really mattered.

"You smell good," He muttered, and inhaled the sent of my hair. "Like fresh air. I like it." His hand left my head, and traced down my spine gently. It kind of tickled, but I enjoyed it. It came to rest at the junction between ribcage and hip, and he rubbed his hand across it admiringly.

Then he followed the curve of my hip behind me, and found my ass, which he squeezed.

I jerked, and tried to pull away from him.

"Shhh," He said to me. "It's okay. It's really nice."

He squeezed it again, but not in a gross way; more like he just wanted to know what it felt like. He eventually pulled his hand away, and I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. I actually kind of liked that. It was not the same thing as when the men in the ally had done it; this time, it was welcomed.

His hand continued to roam across my body; down my arm, chest, legs, and stomach; until it stopped right at lining of my pajama pants.

He hooked a finger into it, and pulled slightly.

My hands were on his immediately. "Don't," I said, my voice unsure.

"Relax." He replied. "I won't hurt you." And he kissed me. His mouth moved lazily across my own, catching my lips between his teeth and nibbling on them. He stoked my hip with two fingers, until I eventually relaxed and let his hand go.

He pulled his other hand out from under me, and got up onto his knees, with a leg on each side of me. I think grown-ups call it 'straddling'.

He broke the kiss, and stuck his fingers back into my pants. He brushed against the strip of hair down there, which made me shiver slightly.

He kissed my neck, and flipped my shirt up. He kissed each nipple, and then trailed down my chest and stomach. I began to tremble in delight, as well as terror. I shouldn't be letting him do this; but I didn't really know what he was going to do.

He came down to my bellybutton and swirled his tongue into it.

I moaned. It was the first time I'd ever moaned in my life, and I was surprised that such a simple flick of the tongue could do that to me. I was hot, my face flushed; and my pants were tight.

He pulled my pants down to mid-thigh, pulling my underwear with them. My erection flipped up, and I took a shaky breath as the cool air hit it. He looked up at me, wild excitement in his eyes.

"It's nice," He commented, "Ever had a hand-job?"

"No…" I'd never heard the word, but I had an idea of what it was.

He grinned widely. "They're fun, trust me."