A/N: Apologies for the delay, but at least I'm finished with midterm exams. Guilty pleasure alert – I've been catching snippets of Disney Renaissance movies in my spare time (currently in love with The Hunchback of Notre Dame). This chapter owes its title to what Ariel calls Flounder when she means to tease him – I probably should watch A Little Mermaid sometime soon.

Still a Guppy

The sweet smell of damp grass lingered in the little one-room hut. Inviting and teasing the senses as it filled the void winter that had been. It should have been a sin to stay inside on beautiful spring days. But Rin hardly felt repentant. Winter she had managed to get through. When everything was iced over, cold and bitter, there wasn't much to acknowledge. Every day could blend into one gray blur right after the other, just like the landscape.

But spring was all flowers, creeping insects, and darling buds. Spring was life. Just like the kind that sparkled in happy blue eyes and grins with a few too many teeth. It was these early days of the season that made people second guess and check their fishing nets twice, just in case they might get lucky and snare something.

Rin wished more than ever she had turned her catch lose.

Last year, she had wanted nothing more than to break the boring norm. Now, even on sunny days, she rarely ventured out. Her time dragged to one monotonous beat: Get up early, work, eat something, go home, and do it again tomorrow. The routine was redundant. It went against everything Rin had hoped to be doing at this time last year. And she stuck to it.

At first, when the days started to stretch longer and Rin's only seemed to end earlier, Inuyasha had come out, blustering at her doorstep and demanding she come outside, say hi, enjoy a cup of tea, see the new cherry blossoms, socialize dammit! His outrageous stamina wore out…eventually. Before long it came down to him telling Rin to come out for Kagome's sake. And later, Kagome telling Rin to come out for Inuyasha's sake.

If anyone did get Rin to venture out it was Kohaku.

Fancy that.

Kohaku reminded her that he and Miyoko weren't always to hang around now that calls for extermination were flurrying in again and someone had to help Sango.

She wouldn't ignore the needs of her martial instructor and closest friend, of course. Sango was ever the big sister. Rin felt it only natural that she could fill that role for the former taijiya's young children. But every so often Rin would find a little hand waving in her face asking if she was all there. There used to be a time the twins couldn't get away with anything. Now Rin's vacant permission to do what they wanted sent them grinding a halt. There wasn't any fun in mischief if you didn't at least run the risk of getting in trouble.

And what a mess I've created already.

In retrospect, the sediment for decay had been set far in advance. But who could have thought it would start out so sweet? Alone again, Rin sorted through the last vestiges she had of her life before it crumbled with one rotten day. On one side sat half of a sapphire stone, a pair of smooth orange earrings that didn't work anymore, and a soft scarf that Rin pretended was made of silk and not the weird production of sea cucumber regurgitation. Opposite them lay her first practice sword, a metal fan, an envenomed blade, and a chipped ivory comb. The second set would have resembled more of a small arsenal than gifts for a growing girl if it weren't for the last.

Rin ran a finger down the teeth of the comb. I wish I knew what to do.

Insecure and alone, her gut reaction called for one person. More than anyone else, Rin wished Sesshomaru were there. When she was small, his had always been the first counsel she sought. Since he wasn't much for talk, the daiyokai always selected his words with care. Those alone had been treasures enough for Rin. He had always been her first line of defense. Provider and protector, Rin never wanted for anything under Sesshomaru's watch. Since her parents' deaths, no other adult had ever provided such certainty. With Sesshomaru around she knew "everything was all right."

Matters became immensely more difficult when the one person who was supposed to be on your side was the very reason nothing was all right. And everything plummeted into uncertainty.

Like being alone for the first time all over again.

.

"What's wrong? Where are you going? Can't I come with you?" Rin asked although she already knew the answers: Nothing, nowhere, no. In that order, too.

But Lord Sesshomaru promised he would come back. He always did. But that was before he left her in a human village. Maybe now that there were more people around, the dog-demon thought they could take better care of her than he could.

That wasn't possible. Rin was sure.

"Lord Sesshomaru, where are you?" Only she didn't say it in a sing-song like she usually did. Rin really meant it. Where are you? Rin knew that adults sometimes left you behind if they didn't like you. She had thought Sesshomaru liked her. Or at least didn't mind being around her.

Maybe he forgot about her.

People forgot about you when you didn't speak up. When you stood quiet. Before Lord Sesshomaru, Rin had been forgotten by a whole community of people, so she knew it could happen.

And after several agonizing days – it had only been three, but Rin had to count every hour, uncertain if it had many more brothers to wait through – Sesshomaru returned.

The first thing she did, like always when he came back, she tugged at his sleeve. Only difference was that there was now an arm in it. "Did you miss me?"

To this day, a few months after living with Lady Kaede, Lord Sesshomaru never really did answer that one, but he always brought something back from his travels for her especially. That much said he at least thought about Rin when he was away.

Finally, he did once relent to why she couldn't accompany him. "It's too dangerous."

Well, that wasn't anything new. Master Jaken had always told Rin Lord Sesshomaru's travels were fraught with danger too much for a pathetic human girl to manage. But they both always got to stay with Ah-Un and wait together. Why couldn't she go with Jaken and Ah-Un anymore?

And just for her, Sesshomaru repeated his explanation. Rin knew it was especially for her because Sesshomaru never repeated anything for Jaken. After another moment's span, he added, "You deserve a fair start."

"Oh." Rin paused and mulled over it. "Where am I racing?"

This time Sesshomaru puffed at a loose bang in his eyes and Rin got that better-let-it-go feeling. Sesshomaru wasn't going to answer that last question.

And for Rin, that was all right.

.

But I've had my full start, haven't I? Rin hugged her knees to her chest, and a toe still poked at the scabbard's curving length. He was still trying to protect her. How stupid. Rin wanted to be angry with Sesshomaru. Tell him to back off already and let her be. She could do as she pleased. That was her entitlement, wasn't it? She had every right to be indignant.

So why did only guilt worm its way into her stomach?

All this time and I haven't even spoken to him.

Rin didn't want to be quiet around Sesshomaru anymore. Didn't want to ignore him out of existence. Or her life. She just…wanted to say hi.

A warm wind swept through her room. Its whisper carried only the faintest distinction of speech.

"Rin."

Peeking from beside the mat at her doorway, she saw where Sesshomaru stood a few feet away. Only a quarter turned in her direction, but golden eyes already pinpointed where she hid.

"Bring your blade," he called. No nuance of yoki this time. A plain order.

Rin didn't budge. Did she really want to do as told? Sesshomaru didn't wait for her to greet him. He turned and began walking. Again expecting her to follow. Or maybe he just didn't care anymore. Did he ever? I do have to? Rin didn't need to bend to something ridiculous like this. She didn't have much, but she still had her pride. Her pride would be all she had left.

And I'm being as stupid as he is.

On knees that wobbled as badly as Kichiruka's had the first time he tried walking, Rin stood up, dusting off her knees. Then she collected the sword with its Shadow Teeth and tottered after Sesshomaru.

.

A/N: Weekly updates will continue until the second week of June – blame my finals, bless my luck. And, because it was asked...Ichikawa's ideal voiceover would be Darren Dunstan, who probably has the right technique in that awesome vocal range to make our sea lord sound like a foppish, well-fed cat.