A/N: "At home I was in a better place / But travelers must content themselves." - Touchstone from Shakespeare's As You Like It. Sorry for the slow update. Please enjoy.

Tea for Tuna

Lazy yellow eyes tracked the young demon that flitted from one end of the room to the other. It was almost impossible to tell if he was even a physical yokai, he moved with such speed that Tensai had to take another slow sip from his cup. Tracking Kichiruka was tiresome. "Perhaps you should like a moment's pause?"

Kichiruka heard his teacher's suggestion, but he didn't stop moving. Maybe this was how sharks felt – sit still for too long and you die. Kichiruka sure felt as if he might. "We're supposed to meet with Lord Sesshomaru today! This afternoon! That's in less than two hours! Ichikawa's running late, I can't find my conch staff, and…and you're drinking!"

Tensai rolled his eyes. "I'm not drinking to get washed up, I'm drinking to savor. And damn, I have to deal with you now. Sheesh. Hell, you look like you need this more than I do. Here, have a draught."

"Tensai, I'm serious!"

Kichiruka's teacher set his cup down. "Excuse me?"

The younger demon retracted. "Um, sorry, Master Tensai…"

Tensai eased back.

"But lookit, we've got to get going." Kichiruka resumed his frantic pacing. "Maybe we should leave right now. Would it be bad protocol to arrive without Ichikawa? Master, how can you just sit there? Do you have any idea how hard I've worked for this? See? See these scars? Dammit, just lo—"

In one sweeping motion, Tensai grabbed Kichiruka by the shoulders and gave him a shake solid enough to rattle the teeth in his head. "Boy, shut up!"

Kichiruka froze.

Tensai loosened his grip, but only dropped Kichiruka once he was positively sure the little worry wart would stay put. "You will sit here. Remain quiet. Keep calm. And we'll depart shortly. Understood?"

Kichiruka nodded.

Tensai sighed. He wasn't in the mood to be stern with his student today, but someone had to be the lead right now. Closing his eyes, Tensai smoothed back the blue sail on his head. Twenty, nineteen…"Just calm down."

"Are you telling me you're not nervous?" Kichiruka tried catching his instructor's eye.

Tensai averted his gaze, but only said, "Not in the least."

As if on cue, a bloodcurdling shriek from outside made both yokai jump. Tensai forgot he had set the study's entrance security a few levels higher. Unfortunately, it didn't stop Ichikawa. The manta ray and his attendants glided in easily…save for one guard who had to be hauled along by his companion.

"My, my, Tensai – does your barrier need to be that effective?" the daiyokai said in his usual singsong, brushing invisible lint from his wings.

"Oh, I don't think it's nearly as effective as I would like," Tensai drawled. You still got in.

Before Tensai and Ichikawa started their old-married-couple routine, Kichiruka spoke up. "Lord Ichikawa, how do those clothes look different from what you always wear?"

Ichikawa didn't miss a beat. "Finer silk, see?" He turned so the lighting caught at just the right angle to give a perfect sheen. A small tag that read "made in Mikan" poked out of one sleeve. Ichikawa tucked it back in, commenting, "Locally produced, too."

Kichiruka clunked his head against the nearest stone wall. "Sesshomaru won't stand for any of this…"

Even from his spot near the cavern's mouth, Ichikawa's chuckle carried across the room. "Why don't you let me worry about that, hmm?"

Kichiruka wrung his hands. "Okay, but can we go now?"

In an instant Ichikawa was beside his subordinate, towering over and looking down. "Watch yourself, Kichiruka," he warned with a gentle menace, his voice dropping to deeper, lower registers. "You forget your station. I can call everything off and we'll just leave it at that." He held Kichiruka's gaze a moment longer, then turned around to Tensai, the easy smile returning. "Shall we?"

Tensai flicked his eyes toward his lordship's lackeys. "What of them?"

"I suppose they can wait," Ichikawa said dismissively.

"Not here," Tensai snapped.

"Can we puh-lease just go?"

Tensai threw Kichiruka a look. "Not with those two in my—"

"Why, yes," said Ichikawa.

That was all the permission necessary. A bubble of Kichiruka's yoki engulfed all three demons at once. In the next eyeblink, their surroundings swirled from the stone interior of Tensai's study to the cool, brown silt of a brook. Kichiruka sighed happily at the feel of the familiar setting. He then gently touched the gills on Ichikawa's neck and whispered an incantation for adaptable breathing. The next moment, Ichikawa broke through the brook's surface. And hacked, clutching his sides as his gills underneath heaved.

"Master Tensai, what should we do?"

Tensai, who had already performed his own breathing adjustment with the switch to his more human form, folded his arms and watched. "Give him another minute. I want to see him turn blue."

Real mature, sir. Wrapping his arms around his principal, Kichiruka dragged Ichikawa backward and under into the shallow brook. It was just deep enough for someone of the daiyokai's tall stature to curl in and catch his breath.

"Kichi...iruka…" Ichikawa waited until he could compose himself. He didn't quite care for the smugness of Tensai's expression. "Kichiruka," Ichikawa pronounced, clearing his throat. "My primary gills are on my torso." Spreading his wings away from his body, Ichikawa smiled at Kichiruka in a way most people anticipated a meal. "Well, go ahead…"

Kichiruka hesitated. "With all due respect Lord Ichikawa, this is seriously breeching the creeper level."

Tensai grumbled. Why do I always have to be the grown-up? "Oh, damn it all, we're wasting time." Roughly, he shoved his hands into the manta ray's shirt.

Ichikawa grinned. "Oh ho! My dear Tensai, I knew you've always wanted—"

"Save it."

"Already lost it. Quite a long time ago, too."

"Oh, hey! I actually get what he means by that now!" Kichiruka brayed.

Tensai bit back an obscenity in favor just getting the task over with. Several minutes later, after more finagling over who got to step out of the brook first and Ichikawa sliding backwards to crashing everyone else again, all three water yokai were on their way.

"Wait!"

Almost.

Ichikawa raised one heavy black wing and shook it out until it became a billowing, dark sleeve. Long, pale fingers flexed. Ichikawa had forgotten he had such a fine bone structure. He should have done this more often. "Mmm…haven't had these in a while." He wiggled his thumbs. "Oo, opposable digits!"

Kichiruka smiled. "Do you know how to snap your fingers?" He demonstrated and the greater demon laughed, enthusiastically trying out the exercise. Tensai sank to the side of the bank, massaging his temples. I'm surrounded by idiots.

"Now how do we get over there?"

"Well…" Kichiruka scratched the back his neck. Walking was a very modest means, one that really wasn't fit for a yokai lord. Much less someone like Ichikawa who relished luxury.

"Ah, I suppose we could walk."

The suggestion surprised Kichiruka. No glamour or extravagance? Would Sesshomaru look down on that? Would he fail to see any potential for Ichikawa as an ally if they reverted to such a primitive form of transportation?

The manta ray slowly began to move. Knees quaking. "Kichiruka, kindly show me how you do this."

"Walking, my lord?"

"Yes."

By the time they reached the bottom of the hill, Ichikawa trip-trotted merrily along. And as he forgot any potential humiliation, annoyance prickled along Kichiruka's back. It had taken him several weeks to adapt his body to what Ichikawa was doing in as many minutes. Greater yokai really were irritating.

As they drew closer to Rin's village, Kichiruka watched Ichikawa carefully begin to reconstruct himself. Although he still dawdled to admire flowers and birds along the roadside plus one stray lizard in their path, Ichikawa's face gradually took on its typical mask. His features smoothed and his signature smirk tucked itself back into a corner of his mouth. Ichikawa's eyes were still their otherworldly ocean color, but they no longer shone like they were in on some private joke, now favoring the mirthless lacquer of limestone. He paused to smooth back his hair. Not a thing out of place.

For Ichikawa anyway. Nearly every human in the fields stopped what they were doing to watch the daiyokai dally through their fields with his two attendants. They all recognized Kichiruka and a couple remembered Tensai from the week before, but at the sight of the strange greater demon more began to mumble uneasily.

"I told you they meant to take our town."

"Two daiyokai here in one day – the results could destroy us all."

"Didn't I say nothing good would come from the girl and her demon kin?"

A tic jumped under Tensai's eye. Maybe Kichiruka didn't catch that last comment – he seemed too preoccupied keeping Ichikawa from wading into the rice fields – but Tensai wanted to beat the speaker to a pulp. Hell, he wanted to tell every last one of them off, but that wouldn't have helped their situation, now would it? Ichikawa continued walking further into the little village. Either oblivious or just apathetic to the murmurs and stares.

"Lord Ichikawa," Tensai grumbled. "How much farther do you intend to go in—"

Ichikawa came to a dead halt at the sight of a familiar face.

"Why if it isn't Rin!"

"Hello yourself, Lord Ichikawa." Rin liked to think she had had her share of surreal experiences even for such a short life – Kichiruka's conversation with Sesshomaru so far topping the list – but now with the foppish Lord of Mikan at her doorstep. Well, that just beats last week. Maybe she could play it cool. Is he really planning to meet with Sesshomaru? She tried not to stare, but the sight of Ichikawa with hands looked a bit weird. Or maybe it wasn't even that. Just weird enough that he was walking around her village. And that he proceeded to unabashedly step into her hut and give himself a private tour around her home. "So this is the arrangement of a human dwelling…How drab," she could hear him remarking from inside. Kichiruka ran in after him. She leaned over to whisper to Tensai, "I feel vaguely violated."

"Good. That's the usual air Ichikawa sends," he tartly replied. Then marched in to fish everyone out. "Excuse me."

Hearing the commotion – or maybe just getting a whiff of the heady sea salt – Inuyasha shuffled over, already thumbing Tetsusaiga's handguard. "Hey, kiddo, what's all the ruckus?"

Taking a page out of Sesshomaru's book, Rin opted for the laconic answer and pointed at the hut with her eyes. Right on time, Kichiruka fell first through the threshold, flopping his stomach, then wincing as his teacher followed, crashing on top. "My back!" Tensai's eyes flashed full yellow for a second. Lightly stepping over the pile, Ichikawa breezed out as if nothing at all had appertained to his study of human habitats. He immediately turned at the sensation of a new presence. He caught a glimpse of silver hair, but the manta ray's smile never quite bloomed.

"You must be Inuyasha," he said with a tone of recognition. Maybe if he was nice, Inuyasha would let him touch those fine, fuzzy ears.

The half-demon snorted. "Yeah, well, I don't know who the hell you are and if you're bothering Rin –"

"Ahahaha, not in the least!" Kichiruka wiggled between Inuyasha and Ichikawa. "This is Lord Ichikawa, I've told you about him, I'm sure." He gave Inuyasha a doleful look. C'mon, help me out here!

"This is the highfalutin guy who runs your sea? Damn, Sesshomaru's gonna have a field day with –"

Fortunately, Ichikawa had lost interest and fixed his attention to the skies. "I think we see our master of ceremonies now," he said with a smirk.

His entrance was an impressive display of raw power; Sesshomaru swept in over the ground on a cloud of his own yoki. He was followed by a magnificent twin-headed dragon, the beast was harnessed in the best finery to be had from a splendidly designed to saddle to its tasseled and embroidered muzzles. Ichikawa wondered if it had a name. It looked cute, too.

When he landed, Sesshomaru glanced once at Inuyasha. He was acknowledged. But the daiyokai took no pains to utter a greeting of any sort to the newest arrival. He only advanced forward in one assertive step. Almost like the way some men approached an intruder in their own home. He tilted his head to one side. What do you want? the gesture asked.

"It is pleasure and honor to meet the young Lord of the Western Territories." Ichikawa dipped his head in a simple show of respect. "Please be favorable to me."

Sesshomaru arched a brow, pointedly not returning the formality.

"Are we to hold a conference in this location?" Ichikawa gestured with his arm, black sleeve trailing. "I do like that it is quaint, but I am concerned how appropriate. You shall be welcomed as a guest in my –"

"Lord Sesshomaru did not plan to hold our discussion here," a little green imp that Ichikawa hadn't noticed quickly interjected. He was so small. Travel-sized. Ichikawa decided he could overlook him. And returned his attention to Sesshomaru.

Raising his arm, Sesshomaru beckoned for the dragon. "You two will remain here." He pointed at Rin and Kichiruka.

Kichiruka is not yours to command, Lord Sesshomaru. Ichikawa clenched his jaw, but let it pass. He could remember such a thing if the occasion ever arose. It may be favorable even in the immediate – for if Sesshomaru was already taking such a measure then perhaps a liking was included.

"Get on Ah-Un."

Or he could just be a pushy mongrel.

"Are we taking flight?" Ichikawa canted his head.

"What's it look—"

Inuyasha kicked Jaken aside. Who said he wasn't going to try to help out Kichiruka's side?

Sesshomaru nodded at the other demon. "Can you do without the steed?"

Ichikawa couldn't. Even as a daiyokai, his wings were confined only to the blue of the ocean. "I don't mind your thoughtful accommodation," he tactfully replied. No need to say he required it.

Sesshomaru nodded. "Then we're going." His aura began to gather at his feet again.

Ichikawa didn't miss that the imp clung to Sesshomaru's train of fur. "Since you are taking one retainer with you, then I feel so entitled."

The build up of yoki dispersed as Sesshomaru paused to glance at Tensai. He didn't want the swordfish interfering. "As you will. But all your words will be your own. No one else's."

Kichiruka gulped. Tensai bristled. And Ichikawa's smile made his eyes heavy-lidded and dreamy. He doesn't want anyone coming to my rescue, hmm? "Thank you for the consideration."

oOo

Ichikawa enjoyed the rush of watching the ground fall away. Tensai kept his eyes closed for most of the period and just waited for the ride to be over. Water yokai were not fond of dizzying heights.

"Look, Tensai, look! I can see our shore from here!"

And Ichikawa had several screws loose.

But the landing was smoother than Tensai expected. The clouds that curled around the dragon-steed's claws glossed any turbulence and it came to a gradual stop on what looked to be a finely tiled floor.

"Dismount," Sesshomaru drawled when they landed. Ichikawa slid off and Tensai somewhat staggered. Ah-Un shoved a muzzle under his hand in a courteous attempt to offer balance. An armored gatekeeper with a fox's face led Ah-Un away, presumably to some stable or shed. Tensai felt an odd compulsion to wave good-bye. It was a very polite dragon.

When he caught up, he found His Lordship and Sesshomaru already climbing a ridiculously high staircase. At the sight alone Tensai could feel his knees buckling anew. There were no less than ten dozen steps leading in one good vertical climb to the top. Oh, hell no. He was far too old for this.

Deciding to take a small liberty – I won't mar any of the décor – Tensai took the compacted form of the narwhal's tusk from his side and released a quantity of water it stored. Chanting as he did so, Tensai froze over the water immediately into a small ice floe. He hopped aboard and tapped its side. "To the top," he commanded. He was there in a matter of seconds. Privately pleased with himself, Tensai gently tapped the tusk to the top of the ice block and its water content returned inside. With the extra time now on his hands, he could peruse the settings and perhaps get a better feel for…

"And what guest have I here?" a woman's voice purred. Tensai whirled around. On a porcelain dais lounged a…female version of Sesshomaru? Under different circumstances, Tensai would have laughed, but there was nothing funny about this woman. She's probably his mother. The lady emanated a regal air with robes that matched her station. Just like her son, she had a voice that made Tensai's skin crawl. She sounded as bad as Ichikawa's siren. And, as they were out of Tensai's element, was probably twice as dangerous.

"Is my visitor a mute?" She definitely had Ichikawa's mocking tune perfected.

"I am Tensai, vassal to Lord Ichikawa of Mikan and Master of Arcane Arts," the swordfish announced his full title from where he stood. He glanced over his shoulder to see that Sesshomaru and his company were still several steps away from being close to finishing the stairway. Damn, how slow can those two be?

" 'Disaster,' huh? How interesting." She rose from her dais. "My son's name has 'Destruction' in it." She prowled closer and Tensai wondered how quickly he could conjure back the ice floe. "You may address me as the Lady of the Western Territories. We can move to informal terms from there."

Tensai backpedaled, but she was already close enough to close the distance in one sure stride that made her a silver blur. She's treating me like prey. Tensai tried to suppress the impulse to panic. He didn't want to give her any such satisfaction. But wasn't it said canines could smell such things? She was tall for a woman, too. Even though he was shod, she still matched Tensai's height. And she was, of course, daiyokai.

"Mother, what are you doing?" At the top of the stairs, Sesshomaru stood with his arms folded into his sleeves. Ichikawa still had another thirty steps to go.

"Oh come now, don't spoil my fun," she pouted. Then, like throwing a switch, her voice turned venomous with dark undertones. "Your father certainly got to have his share."

Sesshomaru sighed and rolled his eyes. "Mother…" he grumbled. When she had learned of her husband's extramarital family – a human and hanyo, no less – Mother had made it her personal mission to seduce the most unworthy men possible. Even after the Dog General had died, she continued to entertain this "hobby" as if to smite him in the afterlife. Sesshomaru occasionally wondered if it were merely her way of remembering Father. Mother always was a little…twisted.

Despite being a second-class demon, however, the swordfish seemed a bit above the low standard for Sesshomaru's mother. Sesshomaru didn't know why he thought so, but Tensai didn't seem like the type to be most "appropriate" mismatch.

A fine current trembled across the courtyard. The Lady of the West looked up in time. Ichikawa waved, then bowed in a courtly manner he had learned from one of the visiting yokai. At the strange and graceful gesture, the Western Lord's mother redirected her attention from his subject. I always was prettier, Ichikawa congratulated himself. As if he hadn't a bone in his body, Ichikawa slid over to the fine demoness. "May I have your hand?" he asked. Carefully imitating the protocol of yokai from the Far West, Ichikawa took up the lady's hand and planted a butterfly kiss on the back of her wrist.

Tensai sighed in relief. At last Ichikawa had found a use for those uncouth and unhygienic mannerisms.

"Ichikawa Near Mikan, I presume?" The Lady of the Western fluttered magenta eyelashes at him.

Ichikawa modulated his hum to the affirmative.

She laughed. Then turned to her son. "So are you gentlemen going to work something out?"

Sesshomaru frowned. Why did Mother always have to trivialize his most trying situations? "Are you off to seek your Father's inheritance?" "A tussle with you half-brother again?" "All this fuss for one mortal girl?" He rolled his eyes.

"Because if so, I'll play with my new toy."

Tensai jumped when the unsolicited sensation of fur wrapped around his arm. "I beg your pardon, madam," he ground out. "But I am not some diversion brought along for the ride."

"Oh, but Sesshomaru," she said, ignoring Tensai altogether, "you brought me such an agreeable little fellow last time. Oh, there he is!"

Jaken nosedived back into his master's fur. A golden gaze followed him, then flicked back to the present matter. "They aren't 'toys' to be –"

"Are you already taken? Is that it?" she asked, now completely disregarding Sesshomaru. The demoness' brow knit in feigned concern for only a second before she continued, "Because I really don't care whose name you call, the pleasure will be mine." She smiled wide enough to flash fang. "I assure you."

Tensai knew he should have known better, but his aura still crackled at the fringes. Though he wasn't entirely sure what to say to get her to back off.

"Well, what's the problem?" she prodded.

"I…I already have a woman I love."

Ichikawa glanced over at Tensai, but said nothing. His horns quivered and he could see that the dog-demons were unconsciously licking their lips. Everyone was trying to taste-test for lies. But it feels like truth, Ichikawa's senses told him. Unless Tensai just completely believes what he's saying. Truth could be relative, too, Ichikawa knew that.

"How long have you known this woman?"

"Three hundred and thirty-six years," Tensai answered. He hadn't lost track.

To the Western Lady, the length came as some surprise. And relief. For a moment, Sesshomaru's mother had almost thought this woman was a mortal. How disappointing that would have been. "So, is she beautiful?"

"Very."

"Hn….Is she young?"

"Somewhat."

"Yes or no."

"Yes. Compared to me."

Sesshomaru's mother huffed. But she did retreat. She stuck her nose in the air and looked off. "Well, then she is not old enough to appreciate you. When that girl's head turns for someone else, you come see me, Master Tensai."

Like that'll ever happen. But, with a good-natured smile, Tensai laughed.

Ichikawa's head snapped around, his eyes wider than the arcs that graced the foreheads of mother and son. Tensai laughed? In the two hundred and twenty years that Tensai had served him, Ichikawa could never remember a time when the swordfish laughed like that. With something that had heart in it.

Sesshomaru's mother gave a little tee-hee back. "Careful, now. You keep being that irresistible and I will have you confiscated for myself."

"Come along," Ichikawa called. "Sesshomaru and I are moving to a private quarters to discuss our options." He smiled at Tensai, but flicked his eyes toward Sesshomaru. "I'd like some sort of witness there should anything go wrong."

There was an annoyed huff up ahead, but Sesshomaru continued to lead the way.

With a flourish of his black robe that only left her growling a little bit in frustration, Tensai dismissed himself from the Western Lady's presence.

oOo

"Yes, ma'am, we're still here." Kichiruka nodded, shifting the mouthpiece of his conch staff over to the other shoulder. This was the second time Ichikawa's wife had called in the past hour. While Ichikawa might have been gone for the better part of the day it was hardly much for concern…right? That he hadn't fallen out of the sky in a screaming comet – like Kichiruka had, just out of Rin's house – was a good gauge, wasn't it?

"I would like to know where my husband is," Ichikawa's wife demanded.

Kichiruka shifted uneasily. "I don't know…"

"What do you mean you don't know?"

Please don't use that tone with me. Kichiruka closed his eyes and breathed slowly. "I don't even know where my own teacher is. Both he and Lord Ichikawa left with Lord Sesshomaru and…"

"You let him go unaccompanied with that monster? You know better than anyone else we've sent envoys before who have never returned. How dare you not accompany—oh!" There was a surprised squeak, then a sigh and a soft moan.

"What did he just waltz through the door?" Rin drawled from her place on the other side of the porch. She had made a point to not get too close to the conch when Ichikawa's woman called.

Ichikawa's throaty laughter filled the phone.

Kichiruka rolled his eyes. "Huzzah."

"Repeat it three times, dear friend…Everything's gone quite well. I'll see you when you return."

"Wait! Is Master Tensai okay?" But the line had already been disconnected from Ichikawa's end.

A warm wind swept through, but Sesshomaru had apparently been standing there for longer. "Your teacher is fine." He leered at the ground for a moment. "I like him better."

Kichiruka smiled. Then Sesshomaru refocused his glare on him. Kichiruka gulped.

"An addendum was added to the agreement." Sesshomaru looked at Rin, then back at the dolphin's communication device. "I get one of those."

.

A/N: Sorry, this has been so slow. Finding Net where I am now is a bit out of the ways (when it's not ridiculously expensive) and I've been exceptionally busy with my studies abroad. Thank you for reading! Sketch request: feral-instinct. deviantart. com/#/d42e2g3 (remove spaces)