Redemption

Chapter Twenty-Three

Sleep wouldn't come to her. No matter how hard she tried to push the nightmares away, all she could see was Stern's lifeless eyes staring up at her. The sight had been so gruesome that she had clung to Bobby when he finally arrived on scene. He had immediately wrapped his arms around her to console her, but even his strong embrace wouldn't be enough for her to feel better.

She was saddened by the loss of such a great friend—someone she considered part of her family—but she wouldn't let her sorrow overcome her. He believed that she was a strong woman, which she was until something like this happened. She never dealt very well with loss and this was going to be hard to recuperate from.

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Robert was supposed to retire and spend the rest of his life with his wife and daughter. He was supposed to train Danni on how to be a good leader to her team. He was supposed to be there for her when her won father couldn't be. Everything was different, now; including her.

With a heavy sigh and no incentive to go to sleep, she removed the comforter from her body and threw it over Bobby's sleeping form. At least one of them was able to get some rest. She climbed from the bed and scrambled to pull on her old, gray sweatshirt. She forgot how cold it was in the middle of the night. She was usually so warm and cozy under the blankets and in Bobby's arms to notice. Unfortunately, she knew she wasn't going to be that comfortable again for a long time.

She glanced back to his sleeping form. His back was to her and he was snoring ever so lightly. He would be too exhausted to even realize that she wasn't laying beside him until morning. One more exasperated sigh left her as she exited the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Morning arrived in a haze. The transition would have barely been noticed as the hours ticked by. Dark clouds loomed over the city, making it look like night. They seemed to threaten to pour down heavy rain and make this week much worse than it already was. With a disgruntled sigh, Bobby poked his head out from underneath the blankets to relish the disgusting weather. At least it was reflecting the mood of everyone who'd been affected by Stern's death.

It had been a shock to all of them, but Bobby had noticed the change in the Lieutenant's demeanor as his end came nearer. It was like he was trying to redeem himself for all the things he'd done. He'd seen it, yet he never thought it was a sign that he needed help. He only figured it was Danni trying to make them get along.

Danni? He reached over to pill her into a hug, but found that she wasn't there. He gave a puzzled look as he stared at her empty side of the bed. He was sure she had been there when he went to sleep.

He glanced at the clock to see that it was still early. She'd been given time off until Monday, which meant she could enjoy the pleasure of sleeping in. Of course, that was if it hadn't affected her so much. Since it had, he figured that she wouldn't be enjoying any time at home. He knew she would rather be working right beside him to discover who did this and he just couldn't let her. It was too dangerous and he didn't want to do anything that would get her killed. He didn't know who they were dealing with, but he'd seen the type before. They would go after her without remorse, if only to see him suffer.

While she got the opportunity to wallow in her misery—on her own, none the less—he would be going into the bullpen late, this morning. He and the rest of the team had worked well past midnight, going over every inch of the crime scene for evidence and collecting statements from witnesses. They probably would have been finished sooner if the media hadn't continuously interrupted them, Darcy among them. A few officers held them at bay for as long as possible, but they just wouldn't give up until they got the information they wanted. Fortunately, Garrett was there to handle the situation and calm the crowd while his agents did what they did best.

With a yawn, he rubbed his tired face with his hands. He really wasn't looking forward to today. He would be stuck in the office all day, while the love of his life struggled to keep her sanity. He would rather just hold her in his arms all day and whisper comforts in her hair. It would be more productive than whatever dead end he and the others would find themselves at after going over the details of their fifth victim.

He collapsed back onto his pillows and groaned as he threw his forearm over his eyes. He did it to block out the gloom and think wonderful, happy thoughts. The only problem was that there was nothing happy to think of. He grumbled loudly as he yawned again. It was going to be another long day.

"Morning," said a slightly cheery voice from the doorway.

He moved his arm to his forehead and glanced up to see Danni enter and then begin to rummage through the closet. He was surprised to see her, because he hadn't heard the door open any. He really must have been lost in his thoughts, because the hinges squeaked very loudly when in motion. "Where were you?"

"I fell asleep on the couch. I went for a walk, last night to clear my head. When I got back, I didn't want to disturb you," she said absently as she shuffled through her clothes in the closet. She didn't seem as upset as she was last night, Bobby noticed, and that wasn't a good thing. She wasn't the kind of person to just shrug something like this off her shoulders and forget about it. She was still hurting inside, though the mask she wore was making it hard for him to see it.

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "You went out for a walk?" He propped his head upon his elbow as he watched her pull a t-shirt and a pair of jeans from within. He felt anger welling up inside of him, but it wouldn't do any good to yell at her for doing something so careless. Besides, he was too preoccupied with the fact that she was getting ready to go someplace and he wanted to know where.

"I needed to think and before you blow your top; you can see that I'm perfectly fine." She knew he would have yelled at her for her carelessness, but she didn't really care. She was still there and nothing had gone wrong. She pulled off her old sweatshirt and the camisole top she wore to bed and replaced them with her favorite red t-shirt. She did the same with her sweatpants and jeans.

"Where are you going? You're not supposed to go in today."

"I know. Marie wants me to help her clear out Robert's office." She worried her bottom lip as she took a seat upon her side of the bed. "She wanted to clear it out before the funeral. She figured that it would be better… maybe a little less painful." Stern's body still hadn't been released to be sent to a mortuary, but it would give her adequate time to plan the funeral and contact everyone. As soon as the FBI was finished with it, it would be one of the most memorable memorials that anyone had ever been to. "It's going to be strange to see that office empty after such a long time."

"You're not going to take the office, are you?"

She shook her head. "No. It wouldn't be right. I'd feel so out of place, there. I honestly don't know how he was able to manage while being so far away from the team… But, it does explain why the rookies were so scared of him. It was a little intimidating in that big office." She gave a little smirk as she looked down at her boyfriend. Her eyes suddenly became sad and she wanted him to hold her again, but she wouldn't let herself crumble. She was slowly falling apart at the seams and she needed him to tell her good news; anything that could calm her sorrow. "You came in pretty late, last night. Did you find anything?"

She had been allowed on scene only because she was an officer of the law and a friend of the departed. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to touch a single piece of equipment while the FBI was there. She and her supervisor had even gotten into an argument about it, which prompted him to give her some time off. But, she just couldn't sit around and do nothing; especially until Monday. She needed to be in on what was going on. She didn't want to sit by and watch another team solve her friend's murder; even if her boyfriend was a part of that team.

He nodded as he looked up into her eyes. On the outside, she looked so strong, but he knew she was weeping deep down. She was feeling so helpless and he only wished it would be easier to comfort her. "We've found a few things and are running them through the databases." He was calm and collected as she saw her eyes light up like a Christmas tree. Before she even asked the question he knew was on her lips, he stopped her. "You know I can't disclose that information; even to you. We're dealing with something very serious and very dangerous. Trust me, the less you know, the better off we are." He managed to place a kiss upon the tip of her nose before her character completely changed.

Her lips curled into one of her sexiest smiles—one that he could never resist—and batted her eyelashes. The palm of her left hand rested upon his chest and then slowly moved lower, her fingers tickling his bare chest. It was a tactic she used on him to get information out of him. She didn't know what possessed her to do it; she just knew she wanted to be in on everything that was going on.

Bobby would have enjoyed the treatment if it wasn't for the serious circumstances. He removed her hand from his chest, trying his hardest to ignore the tingling feeling he felt upon his skin, and held it in his hands to prevent her from trying any more torture. "You know I would tell you if I could, but I've been given orders… so have the others, so don't try to weasel anything out of them." He pointed his finger directly in her face to show that he meant business.

With frustration running through her, she rolled her eyes at him. "I get it," she told him as she raised her hands in defeat. She relaxed slightly as she laid her head upon the pillow and made him rest his hand upon her hip. "Did a team go in for his important papers? I don't want to end up finding something that could make or break your case." S eh had a cynical tone to her voice which he didn't like very much. She was angry about this—that was for sure—but there was nothing she could do about it.

"Yeah. You sheilas are free to take whatever's left. Myles said there wasn't much that they didn't take, but the rest of his personal effects are still there." A stray piece of hair fell into her eyes and on instinct, he moved it away. He noticed the dark circles under her eyes and wished she would open up to him. These sleepless nights and all of this stress was not good for her, he could see it already. She wasn't able to keep her emotions bottled up for long. Sooner or later, that emotional wall would finally crumble and she wouldn't be herself anymore. "Are you going to be okay?"

She nodded and gave a little smirk as her hand reached up to his mouth. The tips of her fingers lightly danced across his lips as she traced them, as if committing them to memory. "I'll be fine, but I was thinking about our anniversary. Maybe we should postpone it until later. It just doesn't seem right to celebrate something when Robert isn't even buried yet."

He nodded in agreement. "It's probably best." He rested his hand upon her cheek and stared into her pain-filled eyes with a stern determination. He wanted to help her feel better about this. He wanted to reassure her that there was nothing she could have done to stop it from happening. She was torturing herself for no reason. "It's okay to cry, you know? You were close to him; no one would blame you for being upset."

She averted her eyes from his and nibbled her lower lip. She only did it for a split second before her gaze returned to his. It was filled with the same determination as his, but it was also filled with fear. She wanted to say so much, but the words wouldn't come to her. All she could do was snuggle closer to him and let his hold upon her tightened. "I know," she said with a whisper as she clutched to his chest as she felt the tears well in her eyes. She didn't let one fall, even as he placed a comforting kiss upon the top of her head.

In truth, she wanted to cry. More than anything, she wanted to. But, there was something deep inside of her that told her to be strong. It told her that she had plenty of time to mourn after her present mission was finished. What that mission was or who that voice belonged to, she didn't really know. She was intrigued to find out the answers to both, but she was terrified at the same time.

By the time, they caught these madmen; things were going to certainly be different. But, it was still to be determined whether different was good or not.