Redemption

Chapter Thirty-One

The atmosphere in the apartment was much more subdued than the past few nights, yet the tension between the lovebirds was still there. Danni perched herself on the couch, Stern's journal opened upon her lap with her own notebook upon it. She'd been scribbling notes from the tome which she figured would assist in the case. The more they learned from this, the better off they would be.

She barely took notice of Bobby as he placed a cup of tea upon the coffee table for her, though she did manage to mutter a "thanks" when he did.

It didn't matter to him at this point. She still hadn't crumbled to pieces and that was what worried him, but she was hard at work on something she believed so much in. At least it was better than nothing. Still, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She'd kept up the civility toward Darcy and still showed neither anger nor jealousy. He'd expected some sort of snide remark from her, but she'd said nothing. He couldn't even tell if she was angry because her nose was forever buried in that damn book.

He'd been watching her from the kitchen. He leaned upon the island and watched as she delved deeper and deeper into those pages. She'd pinned her hair up with an extra pen and the only movement she'd made was to stretch her neck from the strain. She was working herself raw and he needed to put a stop to it. He'd seen this before in fellow agents and he'd even been guilty of it, himself. So, he knew this was not a healthy substitute to grieving the loss of a close friend.

A heavy sigh escaped him as he pulled off his jacket and slung it over one of the dining table chairs, his tie with it. "Luv?" he asked to get her attention. He inched closer to the couch, but didn't invade her space for fear of her retreating back into her shell.

"Yeah, baby?" she responded, but still didn't look up from what she was writing.

"Can we talk about something?"

"Can it wait? I'm kind of in the middle of something, right now." A piece of hair fell into her eyes and she paused only to move the ridiculous thing back to its original place.

"No," he said as he sat upon the coffee table and closed the journal, her notebook wedged in between the pages. "It can't." He heard her give a whine of protest as he took the book from her and placed it behind him, out of view. Yet, the out-of-sight-out-of-mind trick didn't seem to have such a grand effect on her.

"Give it back," she ordered with an angry glint in her beautiful eyes. He hated to see such anger in those beautiful depths.

He would usually give in to that glare, but he knew if he gave in, then she would never be herself again. "Not until we talk," he said firmly. He saw her look of defiance, but only stood his ground. He hadn't realized how serious this was. That journal was like a drug to her and the only way for her to feel better would be to hide behind the old cloth cover and Stern's familiar scrawl. He needed to put a stop to this now.

A groan of aggravation left her as she leaned back onto the couch and removed her reading glasses so she could see him properly. "Okay, so talk," she agreed in her own, sarcastic manner.

He took one of her hands in both of his and held it to show that he was there for her. He raised it to his lips to place a gentle kiss upon it before resting it in its original position. "Danni, I'm worried about you. I feel you haven't truly accepted the fact that Robert is dead."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Please, I don't have time for this bull. I have a lot of work to do before Monday, so please, give me back the journal." She held out her free hand expectantly as she waited for Bobby to place the book in her grasp, but he didn't move a muscle. "Bobby, give me the book." There was an evil glint in her eyes, but he paid little attention. This was so much more important than that stupid book.

He shook his head and focused his eyes upon hers. She still had that renewed sparkle in them, but it wasn't even remotely close to what it had been before. "No," he said insolently. "Why is it so hard for you to accept it?"

She pulled her captured hand from his grasp before she crossed her arms over her chest in her usual stubborn manner. Her eyes were growing cloudy with tears and her chin was beginning to quiver. "Because," was all she choked out as a lone tear trickled down her flawless cheek.

He felt his heart fall to pieces at the sight and wiped the stray tear from her cheek. "Because, why?" he egged on. He was getting the wall to crumble slightly and he needed only one answer to get it to burst completely. He watched as her beautiful face filled with so much pain and despair as she fought to hold everything back. He knew she wouldn't last much longer. "Luv, you can tell me. I won't think any different of you when you do." He would have said 'if', but that would imply that he didn't expect her to give in. Her defenses were weakening and she was getting even closer to dissolution. "Danni, please." He placed a caring hand upon her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. It was that exact motion that caused the tears to fall and her body to convulse with loud, heart wrenching sobs.

"Because, it's my fault," she declared. She tried to clear her tears away, but to no avail. The more she tried to wipe them away, the more they fell.

His heart broke for her, but he knew it was for the best. She needed this as much as anyone else who was close to Stern. Keeping these emotions inside would have torn her apart, in due time. She needed to get everything out in the open so she could begin to heal. He moved beside her on the couch and wrapped her up in his strong, caring arms. He gently smoothed the hair on the top of her head, being careful not to knock loose the pen that held her dark tendrils in check as he rocked her back and forth in his arms. He made gentle shushing noises to calm her, but he knew it would do little good for her. "Where did you ever get a crazy notion like that? It was no one's fault."

"Please, Bobby, don't try to make me feel better about this. If I was the detective I'm supposed to be, I would have seen this. I could have stopped it from happening if I'd only paid closer attention." She wiped her wet cheeks clean, but those tears were only replaced by more.

He pulled away from her to look her straight in the eye. He wanted her to know that he was being sincere and this was the only way to do it. "Listen to me, you are the best detective that I've ever known and I'm not just saying it because I love you. I'm saying it because I truly believe it and I love you because of the person you are. I've never seen anyone with such a passion for doing what is right. You amaze me so much when you're working on a case. You view other angles that no one else has thought of…" he trailed off as he thought to himself for a moment. He'd meant everything single word; he just didn't think about the words before they'd crossed his lips. "Have you ever thought about becoming an agent?"

She looked at him like he'd gone crazy, while trying to suppress a giggle. "What?" she asked with wide eyes. "You're insane. No offense to you or the others, but I hate the FBI. I only work well with your team because I work beside you." She twitched her nose in a playful manner, which made the Aussie smile. She was quickly becoming her old self and he was glad to see it happening right before his eyes.

A wide smile crossed over Bobby's face. "Now, that's what I like to see. You're too beautiful to hide behind a frown."

It was a cheesy line, she knew, but she couldn't resist those dimples when he smiled. She rolled her eyes as she snuggled closer to him, her head resting upon his shoulder as her wrapped his arm adoringly around her for comfort. "I'm sorry. I guess I did get a bit carried away. I just wish there was something I could have done."

"We all do," he said as he placed a soft kiss upon the top of her head.