*Disclaimer: I own nothing of Gainax, Khara, DC Comics, or Warner Bros.*

It was an average day (well, average in-between Angel battles) at NERV HQ in the fortress-city of Tokyo-3 when Major Misato Katsuragi—NERV's tactical operations director—found herself walking towards one of the larger labs at the behest of her best friend, NERV chief scientist Dr. Ritsuko Akagi. Soon she came upon the door to the lab in question, flashed her ID badge, and walked in when the door opened. A few feet within the facility and she soon came upon her bottle-blonde colleague, a clipboard in-hand as she went over some data.

"Hey, Rits!" Misato greeted. "I got your message—you wanted to show me something?"

Hearing her friend's greeting caused Ritsuko to look up from her clipboard. "Misato! Thanks for coming down," Ritsuko replied. "I've been working with Maya and the others on our latest development, and I needed to give you a progress report. After all, I can't go ahead with the final test without going over all of the paperwork."

Misato rolled her eyes at the mention of the word 'paperwork', one of the great banes of her existence. "*Ugh* Don't even get me started on that..." she said as she found her attention drawn to what resembled a sci-fi-looking gun turret on a robot arm built into the ceiling. "So...this is the gizmo you've all been working on?" she asked curiously. "What's it supposed to do?"

Ritsuko returned her gaze to the data on her clipboard as she began to answer. "That 'gizmo' is a metaphasic transmuter," she began to explain. "As for what it does, that's actually simple—you see..."

*Sigh* And there Rits goes, Misato thought with a mental groan. She never seems to remember that I don't speak technobabble! Her attention then found itself drawn to an object laying on top of a console that seemed to be connected to the transmuter. Hey, isn't that one of Hyuga's import comics? she wondered as she stepped over to pick it up. Might as well give it to him the next time I— Her train of thought was interrupted by her accidental hitting of a button while picking up the comic, which made a *click* as it soon glowed red. Huh? Uh-oh...

The whirring of machinery snapped Ritsuko out of her own train of thought as she looked up from her clipboard. "What the—?!" she said as she looked in Misato's direction, realizing just what had happened. "Misato! You've activated the transmuter!"

"What?!"

The device in question soon began to move, tilting slightly downward as it began to hum, while the tip started glowing with a strange, green light. "It's charging up to fire!" Ritsuko said alarmingly, "and there's no way to stop it!"

Misato immediately ran to try and tackle her friend out of the way. "Then move it, Rits! That thing's taking aim! Right at—!"

Misato's warning came too late as the transmuter soon bathed the two women in a near-blinding beam of light.

*SKRASSSSH!*

Just as soon as it had been emitted, the beam faded out and the transmuter deactivated.

Misato held her head with one hand as she shook it to regain her bearings, almost seeing stars as she did. "*UGH!* Feels like I drank out of a car battery," she wearily said. "But...I'm still breathing, so..." She turned her focus to Ritsuko as her head began to clear. "Guess your little death ray was a big dud there, Rits."

Ritsuko gave Misato a mild glare. "It's not a weapon, Misato!" the scientist frustratingly corrected her colleague. "It's a metaphasic transmuter! It's designed to emulate the process by which Angels grow and mature!"

Hearing that shocked Misato on the spot. "Wait, WHAT?!"

"We built it based on the research we did on the 8th Angel's remains!" Ritsuko further elaborated while her body began to slightly shudder. "It genetically reprograms a living being to adapt to a new—!" Before she could continue, she heard her blouse's zipper suddenly snap open, making her look with astonished wonder at her growing breasts as they pushed their way out of the blouse, her black bra struggling to keep them contained.

"Small words, Rits!" a slightly unaware Misato urged amid all this.

Hearing Misato snapped Ritsuko back into what she was explaining, all while she felt other parts of her body growing and expanding. "It mutates living things into whatever it's programmed to turn them into," she continued while the sounds of ripping and tearing filled her ears as she felt herself growing out of her clothes. First the bra finally gave out, followed by her broadening shoulders starting to tear matching holes in her lab coat's shoulders, then her arms grew as she felt her lab coat's sleeves begin to tighten, all while an emerging six-pack of abs ripped the belt around her charcoal-colored skirt, even as said skirt also was beginning to tear as well.

Misato finally noticed this, making her eyes go wide. "Then what's it changing us into?!" she asked quickly.

"I have no idea!" Ritsuko replied as she looked down to see her legs becoming more muscular, which proved to be a bad thing for her hosiery as rips emerged all over, while her feet began to grow out of her shoes as the toes broke through. "Maya and the others were the ones that handled the programming! For all I know, we could be turning into Angels ourselves!"

Misato, despite her great hatred towards the Angels, didn't exactly share her friend's concerns when she finally noticed she was also undergoing a rather similar transformation, as she looked at her expanding right bicep. "You sure about that, Rits?" she posed as a particular sensation was soon felt. "'Cause I'm feeling pretty good about all this growth!"

Hearing this gave Ritsuko slight pause as she considered her friend's statement. "Actually, now that you mention it—" she said as she began to feel that same sensation, "this does feel good, great even!"

"I know, right?" Misato concurred with a bit of excitement in her voice as her black minidress began to rip down the middle, exposing her own chest and quickly developing pack of abs; on the opposite end, her signature red jacket was beginning to tear as well. "This is a million times better than the Mt. Asama onsen!" As she said that, her watch band snapped off her now-larger left wrist while tears began to appear in the sides of the minidress. Soon her own feet began to break through the toes of her miniboots.

"Scientifically speaking, begs the question—" Ritsuko began to ask, "—when does this stop?!"

Suddenly, as if on cue, the growth finally reached its stopping point for the two of them, and instead of ripping and tearing further, the molecules making up their clothes (what was left of them, that is) started to glow brightly, surrounding the two women with weird auras that changed colors unexpectedly. This development wasn't lost on Misato and Ritsuko.

"Uh, Rits?" Misato started to ask, "Is a wardrobe change part of the process...?"

Ritsuko, further astonished by what was happening now, replied "Again, scientifically speaking...I have no idea..."

Soon the room was engulfed in a bright flash of light for a...well...brief, shining moment. When the light subsided, Misato and Ritsuko looked down at themselves and were immediately dumbstruck by what they saw. Both women's bodies had become lushly curved, yet muscular; not quite at the level of ardent bodybuilders, but still impressive nonetheless. More so, it was their outfits that greatly surprised them.

Misato now wore a blue bodysuit that hugged every inch of her new figure. Contrasting with that was a pair of red trunks on the outside, with a yellow belt looped around her waist. Red was also the color of the boots on her lower legs, as well as the cape that flowed from her suit's collar. On the back of the cape was a familiar yellow S-shield, and on her chest was an even more familiar red-and-yellow S-shield.

Ritsuko, on the other hand, was now clad in an equally-figure-hugging white bodysuit with high-cut thigh holes and a circular cleavage-exposing cutout on the chest. Blue made up the gloves and buccaneer-style boots on her forearms and lower legs, respectively, while attached to a round golden clasp, with a cord looped around her left shoulder and under her right armpit, was a flowing red cape that matched the thin belt with a golden buckle around her waist.

"HOLY CRAP!" the two of them exclaimed in utter shock, before blinking and looking at one another. "HOLY CRAP!" they exclaimed again while pointing at each other. The two of them then looked to the metallic surface of one of the large apparatuses in the lab and saw their reflections. Eyes still wide with disbelief, they waved at their reflections, then flexed their newfound muscles and struck a few poses before standing back up again.

"Guess this confirms we're both not hallucinating," Misato noted as she flexed her right bicep again.

Ritsuko reached out and touched her hand's reflection, further proving Misato's statement. "This is unbelievable!" she said. "What could've caused the transmuter to turn us into something straight out of a comic book?!"

Those last two words made Misato immediately think of the object she'd attempted to pick up earlier as she turned and reached for it. "Well, Rits," she started to say, "I think something tells me that you just answered your own question." Misato then held the comic up for Ritsuko to see, causing the bottle blonde's eyes to further widen with shock.

"Oh, you're kidding!" she bemoaned. "I recognize that—it's one of Hyuga's comics!"

Something occurred to Misato that caused her to put the comic down on a nearby table, and then walk over to a large piece of machinery in a corner of the lab. Instinctual curiosity driving her, she picked the piece up, shocked by how light it felt given its size and density. Acting further on her instinct, she then proceeded to crumple and compact the piece until it was a round, if bumpy metal sphere. "Wow..." she said in awe before turning to Ritsuko. "Here, try it!" she urged while tossing it the scientist's way.

Ritsuko, thinking quickly, caught the sphere, and she too found herself astonished by how light it felt in her hands, causing her to briefly question the validity of the laws of physics. It was then she remembered just what this piece of machinery was that Misato had crumpled up into this state. "HEY! Are you crazy?! This is an expensive piece of equipment you just turned into the world's heaviest medicine ball!"

"Geez, don't have a cow, Rits," Misato said in a placating manner. "I happen to remember it being one of the many, many things we had to scrap after the 11th Angel incident. No big deal!"

It took Ritsuko a minute to realize that Misato was right. "Oh, yeah..." she said before putting the sphere down. Curiosity now getting the better of her, she walked over to another corner and picked up an unused large metal sheet and proceeded to fold it into a perfect paper crane. "Huh—nice to know my origami skills aren't rusty..." Looking at her reflection again, instinctually she concentrated while looking at her chest and soon found herself able to see her lungs within. Strangely, it wasn't the revelation that she now possessed x-ray vision that stood out to her. "Unreal..." she said with wonder. "There's not a single molecule of tar in my lungs at all! It's like I've never smoked a day in my life!"

Misato picked up the comic book and looked it over with a discerning eye. "Just thinking out loud here, but maybe the transmuter scanned this and somehow gave us the powers of Superman and this 'Power Girl'," Misato theorized. "I mean, how else could you explain why I now feel like I could lift Mt. Fuji without breaking a sweat?"

Ritsuko gave it a bit of thought before answering. "Good point," she admitted as she folded her arms under her chest while she looked down at it. "It'd certainly have to be 'comic book science' to explain how I've now got a bigger chest than you." Not to mention the strength needed to hold it up...she mentally added.

Huh, so you did have a bit of 'boob envy', Misato mused to herself, before another thing suddenly occurred to her. "Wait—if we've got the powers of Superman and Power Girl...then that means...Hmmm..." Soon, a rather conspiratorial look appeared in her eyes and a knowing grin graced her lips. "Hey, Ritsy—you thinking what I'm thinking...?"

Some weeks later...

In the days that followed, Misato and Ritsuko worked together to help each other hone their new powers and abilities until they mastered them, including the ability to switch their muscular physiques 'on-and-off' at will. They also came to a mutual understanding regarding the dark secrets of NERV and vowed to help each other (and their mutual friend, undercover agent Ryoji Kaji) bring down the two conspiracies those secrets were a part of. In-between, they secretly aided the Evangelion pilots in their battles with the 12th and 13th Angels.

In the case of the Leiliel (the 12th), Misato was able to quickly pull Shinji and Unit-01 out of the grip of the abyssal Angel before they could sink into it; upon swiftly returning to Central Dogma, with nary a person realizing she was gone, she ordered the pilots to surround the Angel of Night while the military dropped its entire N2 arsenal into its maw. The pilots used the combined AT-Fields of their respective Evangelions to contain the resulting titanic blast that ensued from the Angel's destruction, keeping the damage to a great minimum in the process. In the debriefing that followed, Shinji attributed his avoiding the clutches of the Angel to a strange 'red-blue blur' that appeared out of nowhere.

Bardiel (the 13th) proved to be a simpler job. When NERV-Central received Evangelion Unit-03 into their custody, it was brought to their facility at Matsushiro for testing, and a pilot was found in the form of Shinji, Rei, and Asuka's classmate, Toji Suzuhara. While running some last-minute checks before Toji was to be tested within the EVA, Ritsuko, thanks to both her increased sense of hearing and x-ray vision, was able to spot the 13th Angel that had infected the black biomechanical giant. After making sure no one was looking, Ritsuko used another one of her newfound abilities—heat vision—to fry Bardiel with surgical precision, eliminating the Angel of Haze before it could even attempt to make its way towards NERV HQ by hijacking the EVA. From there, the test proved successful, and Toji joined the ranks of NERV's Evangelion pilots.

It was the arrival of Zeruel, the 14th Angel, that proved to be the turning point for Misato and Ritsuko in their decision to reveal themselves to the rest of their friends and coworkers. The Angel of Might was a giant juggernaut of a monster, managing to blast a hole through all the armor layers that protected the Geofront with ease before descending into it. All four EVAs had been mobilized and readied and stood facing the creature with their weapons drawn. At Misato's command, the EVAs fired on Zeruel, only for the Angel to shrug all that firepower off as it unfurled its long, paper-thin arms, which turned out to be razor-sharp enough to cut through metal. The EVAs did their best to dodge the arms, yet Asuka still managed to get both of Unit-02's ankles sliced off while Rei (in Unit-00) and Toji (in Unit-03) each lost a forearm. (Thankfully, the techs on the bridge had the sense to lower the pilots' sync levels to spare them any serious pain.) Only Shinji (in Unit-01) was left standing, as he braced himself for the Angel's attack.

Misato knew at this point that it was time for her to step in, as she exchanged a subtle, knowing nod with Ritsuko. Seeing as how everyone's attention was focused on the battle at hand, Misato swiftly exited the bridge and made a quick costume change. All observing eyes (save Ritsuko's) soon spotted a flying figure coming out of HQ at astonishing speeds.

"Look!" Lt. Makoto Hyuga said while pointing out the bogey on the monitor. "Up in the sky!"

"Is it a bird?" Lt. Maya Ibuki quizzically asked.

"No way, it's gotta be a plane," Lt. Shigeru Aoba put forward.

As the figure came into view in front of him, Shinji soon realized who it was to his great astonishment. "No, it's—!"

"MISATO?!" Asuka finished, utterly bewildered herself.

On hearing this, everyone else's eyes went wide as dinner plates at the sight of NERV's operations director floating in the air between Unit-01 and Zeruel, wearing a very, very familiar outfit.

Even Rei was taken by surprise at this turn of events, to the point where she said one word never found in her vocabulary until now: "WHOA..."

Ryoji Kaji, observing from his personal watermelon patch in the Geofront, brought down the binoculars he was using, the look of utter disbelief still on his face at the sight of his superpowered, previously off-again/currently on-again girlfriend. "Huh," he said nonchalantly despite his feelings at the moment. "Well, there's something you don't see every day." He then winced as he suddenly thought of the implications that went with one thing that came to mind: 'woman of steel, man of Kleenex'.

Back at the battle, Misato stared down the Angel of Might. "It's okay, Shinji," she said as a smug grin began to appear on her face. "I've got this one." She then immediately flew towards Zeruel while winding up her right arm, until she was right in the Angel's personal space as she unleashed a powerful punch. One powerful enough that it sent the dumbstruck Angel flying back out through the hole in the armor layers it had created in the first place.

"How's THAT for an Impact, you Angelic asshole?!" Misato gloated before zooming off after Zeruel faster than a speeding bullet.

The whole bridge was stunned at what they had just witnessed. Makoto and Shigeru looked at each other, both roughly thinking the same thing. "Something tells me there's another shoe to drop," Makoto said. "Definitely," Shigeru agreed with a nod.

Soon enough, that shoe did drop...as Ritsuko (having done a quick costume change of her own) floated down onto the command perch occupied by Commander Gendo Ikari (who was secretly her lover, or as of late, former lover) and Sub-Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki. All eyes turned with surprise on seeing NERV's chief scientist, clad in a fanciful costume of her own, standing up to their supreme commander and his right-hand man, with a determined expression on her face.

Maya, in particular, took in the sight of her apparently superpowered sempai (and beloved crush) as she gave her a once-over from head-to-toe. Soon, a rather wistful expression appeared on the tech's face. "My hero..." she said while swooning as she fainted back into her chair.

Gendo felt the blood drain from his face as a very rare, very fearful expression took hold when Ritsuko yanked his chair out from under him, sending him back-first to the floor of the perch. Fuyutsuki, sensing what was no doubt going to happen, made the wise choice to step a few feet away.

A very knowing smirk soon graced Ritsuko's lips, which unnerved the commander even further. "Gendo, I think it's time you and I had a long overdue talk..." she said forebodingly while cracking her knuckles. Gendo, quite fearful for the first time in a long while, could only respond by swallowing very nervously...

-X-

"From that day on, the tide of the battle with the Angels turned fully in humankind's favor," Mr. Mxyzptlk narrated as he typed out the words on the paper in his typewriter. "With the help of NERV's two women of steel, the remaining Angels were easily dispatched. The 15th Angel, Arael's wings were clipped before it could inflict major psychological damage on anyone; Armisael, the 16th Angel, got wound up like so much spaghetti before it was then tossed into the sun. And Tabris, the 17th Angel? Well, they took a more humane approach—Ritsuko offered to remove his S2 organ, an offer the Angel of Free Will willingly took, thus embracing his human identity of 'Kaworu Nagisa' fully.

With all Angels defeated, 'Super-Misato' and 'Power-Ritsuko'—having already utterly wrecked Gendo's scenario completely—then turned their attention to dealing with the secret backers of NERV known as SEELE, tracking down all 12 members of its ruling council and bringing them to justice, with further evidence supplied by Kaji's investigation. The trial proved swift, just, and fair, as all 12 SEELE councilmen were given quite harsh life sentences. With the world now saved, NERV would spend its last year in operation finding a way to free those trapped within the cores of the Evangelions, allowing the pilots, mainly Shinji and Asuka, to be reunited with their long-lost mothers at last. The pilots themselves could now live normal lives, no longer bound to battle otherworldly menaces for good.

As for our two women of steel? Misato and Kaji fully got back together, eventually tied the knot, and soon welcomed their first child. In Ritsuko's case, well..." Mr. Mxyzptlk briefly looked our way and wiggled his eyebrows in a certain sly manner before turning back to his typewriter and continuing, "Sometime between the battle with Arael and the capture of the SEELE council, Maya Ibuki finally mustered up the courage to ask her beloved sempai out; a good call, considering her surprise when Ritsuko wholeheartedly said 'yes'. The two have been together ever since...

THE END."

Mr. Mxyzptlk grinned smugly as he plucked the finished page from his typewriter, folded it into a paper airplane, and sent it flying towards the other occupant of the lounge he was doing his typing in. "Well, Mitey—whaddya think?" he asked boastfully.

The paper plane was caught and unfolded neatly with one hand by Bat-Mite and added to the packet held in his other hand of the previous pages Mxyzptlk had sent his way. Bat-Mite soon moved on to read over that last page, and when he was finished, he looked up from the packet at Mxyzptlk, a neutral expression on his masked face. He then flipped through the pages again before looking back up at his fellow 5th Dimensional imp wearing the tiny purple bowler hat and suit. Some time ago, the self-described biggest fan of Batman had challenged the frequent antagonist of Superman to write the 'most fannish work of fan fiction' he could, based on a franchise of the former's choice, a challenge Mr. Mxyzptlk took up with gusto. When Bat-Mite then told him the franchise in question would be the Japanese anime Neon Genesis Evangelion, Mxy scratched his head at first before blinking out to do a bit of study on all the available material. When he returned, he immediately brought out his typewriter and spent quite some time typing up the work of fan fiction, while Bat-Mite watched.

"Nice. Nice," Bat-Mite finally said in a noncommittal tone of voice. "Not thrilling, but nice."

Mr. Mxyzptlk furrowed his eyebrows at that remark. "Whaddya mean?" he asked irately. "It's got all the stuff the fanboys like! Hot babes undergoing muscle growth! A crossover with a totally unrelated franchise! A friggen' 'want of a nail' situation where things turn out for the better! The works! And don't tell me your main gripe's the lack of Bat-bum!"

"All true," Bat-Mite replied as he stapled the packet together. "And no, the lack of Batman's not my big issue with this." He then grew a (fittingly) impish grin on his face. "But I won't tell you yet—for now, I'll let the critiques from the other fanboys show you what's good with your story and what needs improvement. Gotta warn you, these fanboys love their Superwomen of EVA stories, so they'll have quite the high expectations. Back in a while!" With that, Bat-Mite *poofed* out of the lounge, leaving Mr. Mxyzptlk alone.

Mxy looked our way, a slightly befuddled look on his face. "Yeesh, there's just no pleasing some people," he said with a shake of his head before shrugging. "Ah, well—like the man once said..." He then made a large flat-screen TV appear out of thin air with a wave of his hand, conjured up the remote control, and turned it on. Playing out on the screen were the very same events Mxy had just put to paper, on a world within the Evangelion multiverse that he decided to 'fiddle around with' on a whim. He'd magically altered the transmuter that powered up Misato and Ritsuko, and from there sat back and watched as the dominos fell. Currently, he was watching as Super-Misato was giving Zeruel the most unpleasant beatdown of the Angel of Might's lifetime, while Power-Ritsuko put Gendo through the wringer (the violence mostly covered up by a cartoony dust cloud). Mxy then continued his spiel: "'You can't please everyone, so you've gotta please yourself'."

He watched the fights on-screen with silent glee, especially at points where the action was getting even better. On hearing Gendo's cries of pain, Mxy chuckled as he briefly looked our way and asked that most classic rhetorical question:

"Ain't I a stinker?"

END.

**Author's Note(s)**

This little one-shot was inspired by a five-page art commission OrionPax09 did that was never fully finished. This also marks the first time I've ever written a fic as raunchy as this one. (It's never been my forte due to personal preference.)

This one-shot is also dedicated to the late Gilbert Gottfried, probably the best voice of Mr. Mxyzptlk in any and all Superman-related media.

Bat-Mite (whose voice I picture being a reprisal by Paul Reubens) quotes Dom Deluise's Emperor Nero in Mel Brooks's History of the World, Part I.

The thing Kaji winces at is a riff on Larry Niven's 1969 essay "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex", which three decades later wound up getting an illustrated adaptation (by, of all people, veteran Superman artist Curt Swan!) in a 1995 issue of Penthouse Comix.

Mxy's last few lines include a shout-out to the chorus of the 1972 Rick Nelson song "Garden Party", along with a signature Bugs Bunny line.