Disclaimer: Since when have I ever led you to believe I had enough money even once in my life to own the oh, so elusive rights to Inuyasha? Really, when!? *looks around* Are you even listening! Hey, I'm talking to you! *sighs* Like you care, right?

A/N: Oh my- minna, gomen nasai! Gomen nasai, gomen nasai, gomen nasai! I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo- okay I think that's enough- sorry for making you all wait as long as I have! I have- yes, an excuse, of course- had a lot of trouble with the formatting on this chapter. Everything just seems to be working against me lately... Even the chapter itself. See, I ended up rewriting it three times because I didn't like the way it turned out, but I... alas, nothing was any better. I really don't like how this is going-(you'll understand)- but it is my plot, so... Anyway... I am so extraordinarily sorry for the long pause, I hope you can forgive me... To help you forgive me, I PROMISE I'll have chapter 4 up before Wednesday afternoon, okay?

*blinks* *blinks again* Um, are those numbers right...? *blinks once more* Nah, I'm just hallucinating- right? *squeals* Aha, my 102th review for Me? already! Awesome!!!! Thank you so much everyone!

Let's do some FAQ's for a moment okay? There seems to be a bit of confusion.
1.) 'Who's Mikono?'
Well… maybe I don't have as bad of a memory as I thought I did- or maybe it's just rubbing off on you. *quirks an eyebrow* Now, wouldn't that be something? ^_^ Right- for all of you still going, 'WHO'S MIKONO!?', think back to the interview Kagome had with Nazuna on 'What's New?' There was a question about a photo… does anyone remember, yet? A few of you were on the right track- great job! You wouldn't believe how many people thought that Mikono was an OC- I DON'T *whisperusuallywhisper* USE OC'S!!!!

2.) 'Are Miroku and Sango/Kouga and Ayame married?'
For one, you're jumping into the story line and everything, but I'll give you a break. Later in this chapter you will learn about Miroku/Sango's 'relationship' a bit better, though it is skewed slightly since it is in KAGOME'S point of view and she doesn't know everything about her friend. As for Kouga/Ayame... You'll just have to piece it together as we go! ^_^

3.) 'Why was Inuyasha looking at Kagura's backside?'
ABC, I'm really sorry if I offended you by failing to answer this question last chapter. I must have not really been paying much attention, seeing as how I skipped a lot of people asking the same question. I apologize profusely to you all... Now, as for the reason, it is also just another unneeded part for the plot. It has to do with 'trust'. You'll understand in this chapter, I think. His uprising ego and all is bound to get him in trouble.

4.) 'Doesn't the public know about Shippo being Kagome's adopted son?'
The public doesn't even know Shippo exists. Kagome is attempting to keep him out of the spotlight(not that Sess cares in the least) because of the many damaging things about it(no privacy, publicly criticized and assessed at every turn- things like that). Also, the public knows nothing about Inu and Kag being married. This comes to play later in the story.

5.) 'Will the band tour without Kagome while she is working with the movie?'
This is the difficult part for the band. Sometimes Sess will set up a show for all of them, then other's he'll give Kag a break on. She will be with the movie most of the time and the band will occasionally be there, also. Now, if you haven't realized this already- Ayame has another movie she is to be part of(remember Kag/Aya's phone conversation?) so she has no intention on going up for 'Loaded Lies'.

6.) 'How long will this story be?'
........... Um......... Have I ever made an outline before? This is completely written from the top of my head with major parts semi-planned out and everything, so there is no certain length, or even a guessable one, but if I must say, anywhere from 20 to 50 chapters long........ But that's very, very, very vague and open to change at any moment.

I hope I answered all of your questions thoroughly...

Anyway... There has been stat changes!! Here ya go! ^_^

Main Branch:
President: Me
Vice President: Snowfire the Kitsune
Public Service Director: Mitsuko Maxwell
Treasurer: Yume no Tame ni
Informant: The Weird One
Accountant: Whoobonhooaglo
Executive: The Turmoil Twins
Intern: Kourinoyami
Chief Consultant: Nankinmai
Customer Service Representative: Obsidiansoul
Product Representative: Ominous
Spokesmen: Ame Kurayami
Creative Director: D.g.
Manager: Erica
Assistant Manager: Brat
Advisor: FLaMEChick
Supervisor: Kagome-chan5
Director of Hard Liquor: Hon-doroboo Xanthros
Mascot: superbakagirl
Village Idiot: Ama (Shades of Oblivion
Eccentric Wanna-be: Ice Dagger
International, Bi-polar, Klutzy Editor: Tireth Minet
Greeter: Hawk
Coat Taker: Shadow
Valet: Kinshinanie
Sexy lil Security Guard: Leah Black
Jester: Inuchick13

Mystical Creatures Department:
Master Trainer and President: Silver Dragon
Supervisor of MCD trainees: QuirkyCellist
Griffin's General: Museless Author
Executive: soulfire2
Chief Consultant: Cryxxy-chan
Army of Insane Gerbal's General: Merayna
Army of Secret Spy Monkey's General: Diana

Spy/Secret Agent Division:
President: Kaze no Kagura
Executive: Freedom_Fighta06
Spy in Training: Meow the chibi neko
Secret Operative: Rei-chan
Master Spy: NekoYami
Master Sniper: Fokkusu Inuyasha
Consultant: Ebony-chan
Hyper Active Little Hacker Girl: Kagome44

Department of Sarcasm and Murder Schemes:
President: Three-Legged Dog
Informant: SakuraMona
Executive: moon neko princess
Schemester: Ipwnzj00
Weapons Master: Rumi ai no Pocky (Hey, I wanna know how to impale someone with a key! Sounds like fun ^_^)

~*o8o*~*o8o*~*o8o*~PROMOTER! PLEASE, CHECK THESE OUT!*o8o*~*o8o*~*o8o*~

BeautifulStranger01- If the first chapter doesn't drag you in, the second one will hook you- trust me. Read it and I promise you'll have enough laughs to fill the void Me? has been leaving. You'll probably need it after this chapter. I absolutely love this story and the pranks/stunts the Inu cast do.

Ipwnzj00- The story, Oh, Please!, has a great start! Please, everyone check it out and give a little encouragement to keep it going! ^_^

Mishii Kawaii- I really think you will enjoy reading Black and White. Kagome has spunk! Inu's a punk! And Naraku's been totally wasted! ^_^ Oops, I gave something away... But, did I really? o.O

Caladriel- I think she needs some reviews, people. WB is horrible and reviews are almost the only solution. Check out her story Deception- you'll be glad you did! ^_^ I like it- Sango and Kagome kick some serious ass *sees parents looking over shoulder* butt, BUTT I said... Whoa, that was close...

To andrea10- here is what everyone sent in(thank you to you all!). You should be able to find them under my favorites for a few weeks so you may want to jot down the urls just in case! I'll post their urls- along with any new one's someone might send in- up on the next chapter(or the one after, considering time):

"The strongest Ties" by Sylvannastar; Summary: InuYuYu crossover. Kagome never gets a break! Now she's fighting demons on both sides of the well... and not all are enemies. KagKur
Thank you, Aiak Ishtar, for your help!

(1)"Of Punk Mikos And Demonic Preps", (2)"A Shot In The Dark", and (3)"Goin' Under" by bluefuzzyelf's; Summary's(in order): (1) Kagome is a punk rocker who just transferred and Inuyasha is the most popular guy in school. (2) Sequel to OPMADP. Kagome witnesses something and has evel people after her. Can Nika, with the help of Kagome and Sesshomaru and the gang, solve the mystery? (3) I would tell you the summary but it's either been erased or title changed.
Thank you, Caitlin, for the stories!

"The Red Card" by Sorena; Summary: Kagome, a not-so-rich girl attends a prestigious private school, where she meets Y4, the most popular and handsome group on campus. Nobody EVER messes with them, so what'll happen when Kagome does?
Thank you, Inu-Luva, and it's good to hear from you again! ^_^

~*o8o*~*o8o*~*o8o*~ WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!~*o8o*~*o8o*~*o8o*


Definitions
* 'trieve- retrieve shortened for poetic effect.

Dedications

I am dedicating the first of my songs, 'Poison of the Soul', to Disoriented Mind for figuring out a little... something... about this story- concerning the movie. I hope you like it!

And, to Inu-Luva, for being both my 1000th reviewer on You!'s first posting, the 100th on the second, and the story suggestion to help me out, I am dedicating the short little poem in here to you. I don't like the name, but you'll understand when you see it as to why I named it what I did... I think... -_-;



Enjoy! ^_^ Um... please...?



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Author: Sakura-chan88
Title: Me?
Chapter: Snake Poison of the Darkest Abyss
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~






~ After a tormenting long jet flight where you are introduced to the movie script, you reach America- Sacramento, California to be exact. From here, you go to a meeting with the governor, re-act the audition scenes, and startle your companions with a quick illusionary-type trick. Next, you find yourself at the audition and standing on stage. An odd set of lyrics comes to mind and you have the feeling that something is about to go very, very wrong... Well, now that you're facing a furious woman in the bathroom who has taken the open chance at attacking you with her palm, you understand why. This is not good! ~

There's something left undone in this world
Lost in the pages
Of a book I thought I'd closed
With a snap
Something's nagging in the back of my mind,
Telling me,
Commanding me to find its source
Less I fall in the trap
Set up so long ago by this snake eating away
At my soul
Feasting on my very core as I cry
Out in silence
Snacking on my being with it's fangs in my skin
And sinking deeper
Demanding my blood to be tainted
As the poison pours in
And killing me softly- it promises my life to flash
Before my eyes
Stormy blue as they were to the now
Fogging over gray
Losing everything to the complaint in my soul
Telling me
I've something to do that's been
Left undone til now
And there's a feeling of numbness in my heart that
Propels me forward
Closer than I want to be to
The undone something
I've gotta do this by myself- I'm pushing all else away
Can't you see
I want to do this alone- let me
Find out in solitary
What kind of snake creates such a mesmerizing toxin

These were the words, the sudden etched in melodic patois, that ran through my head during the tryout. Somehow, I felt like an imbecile for not having understood this foreshadowing sooner. It had been so clear, it had such helplessly crystal transparency that I wanted to slap myself a few times with the force the woman before me had- or harder. If it had been just translucent or- as I would have loved it to be- completely opaque... Maybe then I couldn't feel so much self disgust at not understanding it before... this.

So, there I stood, staring in shock as a picture reformed in my mind of a woman, a woman standing poised calmly on a battle field littered with bodies. A bruise took shape on my cheek from the stinging slap left by her hand.

'... Mikono...?'

Her eyes burned in resentment, her battered nose dripping with blood. Her hand remained outstretched and a vicious snarl ruined her possibly beautiful features.

My unrelated twin stood before me for first time.

"Kikyou?"

My voice trembled as I backed up against the wall. She was the last person I wanted to run in to at this point in my life. The only thing I could be thankful for was the lack of a certain egotistical person beside me- Inuyasha. If he were here...

"You..." she whispered, her snarl changing to a look of shock. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah- I-I," I stuttered, bringing a hand to cover my cheek as it throbbed. "I'm here for the- the sound track for- for- for- 'Demonic' has the- the- to- the soundtrack," I continued to stammer. "What are you here for?" Ah, the only intelligible part of my whole speech had to sound snippy.

Shaking off the sting that most likely coursed through her hand, she smirked. "Not very extemporized in person," she muttered, looking at her hand in distaste. " Shimatta(Damn it), kore wa itai(this hurts)."

" Domo sumimasen(I'm very sorry)," I murmured, taking the hand from my cheek. "I didn't expect anyone to be there."

"Obviously," she laughed dryly. She moved her attention to her nose, rubbing it with a sigh. "Definitely broke, again..."

"I'm so, so, so very sorry," I stated, reaching a hand out to grasp her wrist. "Is there anything I can do- I feel so bad!"

She blinked a few times, then smiled with a slight shake of her head. "No, it's quite all right, Kagome- right?" I nodded, releasing my hold to run my hand through my hair self-consciously. "So, tell me- what are you really here for?"

I looked at the woman for a moment- really looked. She wasn't the same as the picture- it didn't capture her aura right. She was a few inches taller than me with long, ultra-dark brown hair that was held back in a low sweeping tail. She had hard, yet clear and emotion drained eyes. Her features, when sporting anything but a sneer or smirk, were serene and attractive. By a year, at most, she was my senior, though it was a bit hard to tell. The air of superiority that surrounded her was the only thing I could find that I didn't like... And that I didn't like at all...

"My son, Shippo, is trying out for the movie and I was force, under contract," I hissed, seeing Sesshomaru in my mind's eye, "to try out, as well. Plus the soundtrack, of course, but that seems to be taking the back burner for the time being... along with all those dreadful concerts I'm sure we'll have to do."

She laughed out right, shaking her head. "The Himitsu's are the same as always. Sesshomaru's still being his pushy self, huh?"

"Un. It's so frustrating having him as a boss!" I exclaimed, huffing. "... Though I wouldn't give it up. I love my job."

"You look like it up on stage, ne? Carefree and all," she sighed, her smile widening to reach her eyes. "Wish it was like that in Hollywood... So, how is Inuyasha holding up? I haven't spoken to him for... ten months- to the day, actually."

"You kept count?"

"Of course," she sighed softly as her smile shrank a bit as her eyes lit vaguely with a memory left unknown to me. "You never forget a first love, do you?"

With this said and scorched into my soul, Kikyou took her leave, opening the door with enough space for her slender body to slip through and casting back one last friendly smile. "Sorry, I have to go get my nose fixed- have a meeting in an hour or so!" she called over her shoulder... but, I didn't really hear- not then...

I was shaken in the worst way, trembling as I slid slowly to the ground, a hand clutching over my pulsing heart and the other to my cheek. Teeth sunk into my trembling lip; I bit back the cry that rose from my throat. Now, tears brimming the lids of my eyes, my mind cried out in the darkness.

No... no one ever forgot their first love...

And I, no matter the reasons given, was in no way my first love's initial sweetheart...

The frightening part was...

I didn't trust him enough... My trust for Inuyasha was just on the edge of being complete and here formed a rift in the light of all that exquisite bliss amounting in my life... and I didn't trust him enough to look away when Kikyou offered her heart to him if she chose to do so.

'Oh, Inuyasha! I'm so afraid of losing you...'

How could I not trust him enough if I knew- just as I knew Shippo loved me- that his love was unconditional and forever withstanding?

The fact that we, Kikyou and I, were so coincidentally near identical was the first of all problems, and the last of all solutions. And, I guessed, the closest of all tests Inuyasha would endure on this four month trip to Hell.

I didn't trust Inuyasha... because that trust had never been tested, never needed, never noticed. Sure, I trusted him to protect me, to love me, to stay beside me...

Without Kikyou showing up.

And it didn't help that he had become so... well... dead famous- along with being his egotistical self. Even if it was just to rile me up, the whole 'I know I can get whatever I want so I'll take whatever I can' attitude of his (this being displayed with his wandering eyes), it still hurt and made that trust dim all the more... That trust which, at the moment, I was so much in need of.

Now, along comes Mrs. Heartbreak into my life- sure to somehow wiggle into Inuyasha's- to show me just what it was I lacked.

"Kagome-chan!" Sango cried, dropping beside me as I looked up, quickly wiping the tears from my eyes. I hadn't heard the door open in my silent reminiscing. "What happened- Oh, Kami-sama, tasukete(help)!"

"Shh! Iie, Sango-chan," I hissed, pulling her inside and locking the door, remaining on the ground. "Don't- I can't let Inuyasha see me like this-!"

"Have you lost your mind!?" she shrieked, bring a deft hand to my face. "Look at you!"

"Iie, I'll pass on that, I think," I laughed wryly, trying to push the girl away. "Really, you need to- itai(ouch)!"

She had brushed the bruise on my cheek, sending a quick wave of hurt through me. The pain was worse than a moment ago and I could feel it swelling as the purpling flesh's colouring extended from its beginning point. It felt as though she'd worn a ring or two and had backhanded me!

"'Itai', indeed!" she fussed, pulling me to my feet. "Get some cold water on it right now- it looks like it's going to swell your eye shut with it. I'll go get some ice and my make-up kit, but you better tell me what in Kami-sama's name is going on when I get back, understand?"

I grabbed some paper towels, drenching them in the icy water Sango had twisted from the sink. Nodding and asking her to keep it to herself, I let Sango go, silently praying that Inuyasha stayed away from the restrooms and even father from the woman who sported the broken nose.

Oddly enough, the silence of the room brought back a poem I'd written oh so long ago... and it saddened me beyond anything else as it quickly summed up the truth.

Free to feel and free to try
Free to steal and free to lie
Free to flee and free to pry
Free to prick the seeing eye

Free to want and free to know
Free to stop and free to go
Free to see and free to owe
Free to taste the falling snow

Free to wait and free to leave
Free to sigh and free to breath
Free to throw and free to 'trieve*
Free to sob as the heart wreaths

Free to soar into the sky
Free to bore as night draws nigh
Free to let me stay close by
Free to push me to the side

This was a poem I'd long since written down on a lonely, bored afternoon when I sat at my desk and my English teacher droned on and on about the letter 'a' and the differences between 'a' and 'the' and 'some'. This poem I'd labeled 'Liberty of Freedom and Life'(Yeah, the title was a little awkward, but I had just got out of Civics class and I was 13)... Now, all I had to say about it was that my feelings were torn by it.

Inuyasha had the liberty of freedom and life and Kikyou was so close.

I've gotta do this by myself- I'm pushing all else away
Can't you see
I want to do this alone- let me
Find out in solitary
What kind of snake creates such a mesmerizing toxin

She was the poison... That I knew... But...

What, or who, was the snake?

"Kagome-chan," Sango called as she entered the room, taking in a sharp breath at the sight of my face. "Let me get Kagura- onegai(please). Someone else has to know- I can't handle this."

"Just her."

Sango walked up beside me and handed me the ice pack she had been fortunate enough to find available. I looked at it questioningly.

"Stunt doubles get hurt a lot," she said dismissively.

"You swiped an ice pack!"

"Sh!" she shushed, waving it way. "I didn't exactly make a clean get away this time."

"Sango- Kami-sama, save us all!" I shouted. "I have a health stealing manager!"

"It was only his ankle!"

"I doubt he's thinking that!"

"Shh! You'll have people curious!"

She slammed down her purse on the counter top, glaring at me. I could tell she was thinking something right along the lines of 'and this is the thanks I get!' I barely held back my bark of amusement as she stormed out of the room.

"I'll bring Kagura back with me- I'll use the old bathroom code, okay?" she asked, locking the door and leaving without an answer.

With the ice pack pressed to my cheek, I checked my reflection...

'Who's she...?'

My face was disgustingly twisted. How could one slap do so much damage?

... But that slap just marred the surface... The real damage was deeper beneath the skin and even more important...

Kikyou had damaged my heart... and she hadn't meant it.

That was the one thing I was sure of- she had unintentionally set me apart from the one I loved with a single softly whispered question in the heat of a memory she'd been reliving. Her eyes told me... just as Ayame's would have...

She was in love.

My fingers itched and I absently rubbed them with my free hand. If my fingers itched, I knew Inuyasha's did, too. The absence of our rings made them constantly irritated. It felt... naked...

Six knocks on the door later found me counting to four in my mind until another two quick raps were played out. I moved to unlock the barrier and ushered the two women inside.

"Kagome!" Kagura gasped, taking the ice pack from me. "Good Kami-sama, girl- what happened?"

I backed way into the corner at her voice, worrying my bottom lip as I flinched. I'd never heard her pity anything. Now it frightened me. "I..."

"You promised me," Sango reprimanded.

"Now, you have to promise not to tell- and stay calm," I told them both. After they took an oath- literally- I sat on the floor and took the proffered ice pack from Kagura. "When I was at the audition, I had this... premonition of sorts- but in the form of a song... I didn't stop and talk to anyone because I was confused and I came straight here- after I asked how to get here... When I opened the door..."

My voice trailed off as I looked to the ground, lost in the memory. Shaking my head, I continued. "I didn't think anyone was in here and the door hit someone in the face and broke her nose. When she looked up, she slapped me..."

"Because you accidentally hit her!" Sango screeched, hands fisted at her sides. "The nerve-"

"Iie! She hit me because I'm, well, me," I ended lamely. "I broke Kikyou's nose."

The girls gave a startled gasp; Kagura's jaw dropped completely. Another first...

"Kikyou- as in Kikyou Mikono!?" they said in unison.

"In the flesh."

Sango rushed to my side and pulled me into a crushing hug. Over the months, she and Ayame had come to think nothing more than that Inuyasha and Kikyou had, at one time, been together. They didn't know the circumstances of their breakup, so they, in some place at the back of their minds, felt like I did. If they had felt that way so strongly, was it over?

"I told you already, Kagome-chan," Sango began, pulling me away to look into my eyes. "Don't tell me you've forgotten- she never had his heart; you carry it- he can't take that back."

"But if she..."

'If she offers her own heart- will he need his?'

******


I spent three hours sitting on the bathroom floor, listening as Inuyasha argued with Kagura about going in the women's bathroom to get me out. Sango stayed with me, applying the makeup as carefully as she could manage, then wiping it off and trying again. Something about the complexion was too dark, or too light.

Then, after those excruciating moments that Sango was attempting to cover up the bruise, I stood and looked in the mirror...

The skin was puffed up so bad that even with the make-up, it was easy to tell I had been injured.

"Oh, god," I whispered, trying my best to speak English to get a better hang of it. "He'll see right through this..."

"Listen, if he asks about it, tell him you don't want to talk about it," Sango stated, patting me on the back. "Are you sure she wasn't wearing any hand jewelry?"

"She didn't backhand me," I stated, bringing a steady hand to touch the caked over cheek. "Well, this is going to have to do for now. I just hope that call backs aren't anytime too soon."

"Un." Sango sighed, then shook her head. "What do you think she is here for anyway?"

"... Oh, no..."

"Hm?"

My head was reeling with the thought, the possibility of answers for that single question. I had asked her... and she waved it off with a distracting exclamation that her hand was sore... Yet, I knew the answer, the true answer, without learning it from her...

"She's Marry."

"You mean-!?" Sango began, then stopped short in shock. "We have to call Sesshomaru!"

"No... don't do that," I muttered, shaking my head and starting toward the door. "He'd love the idea of us spending a whole spring with her and I'd rather not give him that type of satisfaction, you know?"

"Well, Kagura will probably call him anyway just to complain and tell about this little 'event'," Sango pointed out.

I shrugged and twisted the door handle, steeling myself for the onslaught of questions I knew everyone would have for me. However, the second I was out of the bathroom, an arm was around my waist and I was being held against a rumbling chest of the one man I feared for most.

"I-Inuyasha!"

"What took you so long?" Inuyasha asked, pulling me back to look me in the eyes. His eyes flashed with alarm.

"Okaasan!" Shippo cried from somewhere off in the crowd.

Thankful for a reason to look away, I searched for the boy and found him approaching us with Ayame and Kouga in tow. Miroku and Rin were being pestered by a bored Yura and had decided to follow the others.

"Shippo-chan," I called back, waving to my son as the group slowly approached. A hand on my upper arms brought me to face Inuyasha. " Nani(what)?"

"... What happened to you?" he asked, his gaze roaming over the area where Sango had been working on. "Your face-"

I had to stop him, and I had a question I needed to have answered, so this was the first thing I whispered. "How well do you trust me?"

Inuyasha frowned, narrowing already half closed eyes. He seemed to be trying to answer his own question before replying to mine. What was he looking for, exactly? The answer I wanted to hear or the answer he wanted to know? The way his eyes glinted, I'd opt for the first.

"Please, tell me the truth," I whispered, holding up a hand to stop the approaching group. They obeyed, curiosity showing clearly on their faces. "I want to know the truth, Inuyasha."

"What's this about?" he implored, breaking eye contact to look at Shippo who squeaked in return.

"Inuyasha... just tell me- how well do you trust me?" I asked again, putting an attentive hand to his cheek to bring his gaze around to my own. "How well?"

"Enough to put my life in your hands, obviously," he snorted. My eyes darkened at his flippancy. "Now, what is this about?"

"What makes you so sure you can trust me?" I asked, hearing a startled gasp from Sango and a quiet 'Kagome, don't,' from Kagura. "What don't you trust me about? When did you last think that I'd leave you- or that I didn't care- or that I wasn't faithful to you?"

Inuyasha's eyes widened at each query, disbelief and self reflection in his eyes. His lips moved to let words clumsily stumble pass in a rush. "What are you talking about- I've always trusted you. There isn't anything for me not to trust... I have no reason to believe that I can't..."

My heart sunk. If he trusted me so fully and I couldn't return it... what right did I have to hold his trust so well...?

"If you trust me so well," I mumbled, looking at my feet as tears formed, "then don't ask about today. I'll tell you when the time is right and not a moment sooner."

I couldn't look up to meet his eyes...

I couldn't let him see my tears...

I didn't deserve his trust...

Where was love without a person knowing they could forever trust in the bond?

******


I was amazed he didn't ask anything, and baffled as to why he kept so far away. After I told him to practically mind his own business, he turned away and left to speak with Kouga and Miroku, who had nearly attached himself completely to Sango.

No one asked...

And I couldn't say it hurt... because it tore me apart.

Did no one really care enough to question me...? Or did they just trust me that much?

Now, sitting on the edge of the hotel's bed in the room I shared with my son, Rin, and Inuyasha, I stared at the ground, replaying everything once again.

Kikyou... she hadn't meant to hurt me... had she? It seemed reflexive and not purposeful... but she had brushed it off without any form of apology. She hadn't told me what she was doing at the building, but...

I already knew... As soon as Sango had asked, I understood everything- the foreshadowing, the confused feelings of needing to be called back for tryouts, the appearance of my rival (unofficial and unknown until now)- and the reason made me nauseous...

Jack yipped from his spot beside my foot, causing a small smile to pull at my lips. "Oi, how are you doing, little guy?" I asked, picking the pup up and setting him on my lap, petting him as my previous thoughts returned.

My thoughts...:

If I was May-

She was Marry...

Now... I just had to wonder...

Inuyasha- Henry or Terry...

I shuttered, cold seeping through me. Even if he wasn't Terry, my supposed 'lover' who was with Marry in truth, the prospect of him being Henry was unbearable. Maybe I should just run and deal with a four month tour session around the great expanse known as America and hope that I didn't encounter any more of Marry...

"How can you be so heartless?" I whispered. Oh, how I wanted so much to fling this question at her I hopes it burned flesh on contact... "How can I be so heartless... I really am self righteous, aren't I?"

The empty room refused to answer the strained question, Jack had fallen asleep, and only the soft whistle from the wind out side of the closed windows was heard. I was glad for the absence of two rambunctious children and the trusting singer I was brooding over. Then again, how could I be happy at the vacancy that made me think so often and about such hurtful things?

I set the puppy on the bed comforter, watching it sleep soundlessly. If only everything could be so peaceful...

'You're May,' my mind instructed as it pulled me to my feet and tore my gaze from the serene display. 'Imagine it... Everything you feel...

'I could finally get everything off my chest and ask the questions I need to know the answer to...' I thought. 'I can learn what would drive her to hurt him... if she really loved him...'

I sighed. So, this was the undone something, huh- getting the poison out of my system?

The snake...

Was it love?

Trust?

.... Inuyasha?

...Another person?

...A different feeling?

Why was I still thinking about this!?

"Argh! I'm so fed up with this!" I shouted, whirling around on my heel and leaving the hotel room. I refused to let Jack's small yelp of surprise calm me. "Why do I always do this to myself!? I make everything so hard for me and everyone else! It's not right- why can't I just tell them all about-"

My sentence was cut short by a enraged shriek and the sound of wood hitting a skull. I blanched. Sango really was a violent person...

"Okaasan?" a voice drifted up to my ears from the end of the hall. Shippo was walking toward me with wide eyes. "Um, I don't think Miroku-san is going to be awake any time soon."

'Miroku-san? That's a first...'

"What happened?" I asked dryly, lifting the 10 year old and grunting. "Boy, you're getting too heavy for me."

Shippo giggled and wrapped him arms around my neck. "Miroku-san suggested Ayame-san and Kouga-san share a room and Kagura-san, Yura-san, and San-san stay with him."

"Kami-sama, will he never learn?" I muttered. "... and what is it with this '-san' stuff?"

"Kagome," a voice called from behind me. I looked over my shoulder at Inuyasha as he emerged from Kouga's room. "I need to talk to you."

'What...?' He didn't seem angry, he wasn't even really somber. In truth, he almost looked sly and humored by something out of my reach. "About...?" I prompted, putting Shippo down and nudging him down the hall.

"Um... let's say... oh, what is it in English," he muttered, furrowing a brow in thought as he walked by me and motioned for me to follow. "Well... Darn it! What's the word!?"

"How should I know?" I giggled, grabbing his hand and intertwining our fingers. I wanted so hard for us to stay at least semi-normal. I guess he understood that, since he laughed, then shook his head. "Are you going to keep wondering on the word or will you tell me flat out?"

Before he answered, we had entered the hotel's main room and were walking into the lobby.

... Sango didn't look like her normal self, huffing and puffing in exhaustion from lifting a table to slam down on Miroku's head. She was usually fine after something like that...

Kagura moved to stand in front of Inuyasha and me, looking from one of us to the other. "Have you noticed something... peculiar... about Sango lately? Do you think she's catching a cold?"

"Ah! I remember now," Inuyasha whispered, snapping his fingers and turning me to look in his eyes. "We need to talk."

I mentally slapped my forehead at the statement when I realized he was waiting for me to prompt him again. "About?"

"Adultery."

My mind froze as I looked into his smiling face, my eye beginning to twitch. 'He's smiling about something like that!' I wanted to cry, but from the confusion and conclusions swirling around in my head. 'He wouldn't cheat on me! He has to be talking about something else... Yes, that's it! He meant to say another word!'

"Are you sure you mean 'adultery'?" I asked. "I think you're confusing it with something else."

"Iie," he muttered, switching back to our native tongue at the odd looks we were getting for using the word. "I know what you're thinking- that's not it. I mean..."

He trailed off as he looked over to his fallen friend and winced. Miroku wouldn't be waking up any time soon... Good thing we didn't have another concert for the next three days- Kagura had told us earlier that she found a paper posted at the local post office that our next performance would be in three days. Already completely sold out, too...

However, these weren't the first thoughts to come to my mind as I saw Sango kneel next to the drummer and sigh, putting a hand to her temples and rubbing away a headache.

Sango... was acting so fragile... Maybe she did have a cold...

"You think... Iie, never!" I hissed under my breath as I turned to look at Inuyasha. "I know Sango better than that- and I trust Miroku."

"... You don't know your friend," Inuyasha chuckled. Asking Kagura to watch over the two in the middle of the lobby floor, Inuyasha turned me around and dragged me back toward the corridor with our rooms. "I was talking to Kouga-"

"Obviously, seeing as how you were in his room."

"- and he said a few things that caught my attention-"

"Amazing," I said, dryly.

"-and I thought you'd like to know-"

"I figured as much or you-"

"- that our friends are devious, lying, sneaky little people who break promises very easily," he finished, stopping in front of our room and looking at me with cold eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my mind flashing to Sango vowing not to tell a soul about the bathroom incident. "Who's betraying who?"

"Sango's betraying us all, as is Miroku," Inuyasha hissed, but his eyes didn't hold the vehement sheen his voice projected.

"How so?"

Inuyasha opened the door to the hotel room and motioned for me to enter. I did, flipping on the light and moving to sit in a chair, propping my feet up on an unpacked clothing bag. The singer went straight to the bathroom, emerging seconds later with a brush in hand, calling me over with a flick of his hand as he sat on the edge of a bed.

"You're spoiling me," I muttered, moving so that he could run the brush through my hair. "And you're not telling me what you're talking about."

Inuyasha was silent for a moment. When he finally spoke, I jumped lightly. "What is love, to you?"

"Love," I repeated, looking at my naked hands. I missed my wedding ring... Damn Sesshomaru and his rules! "Love, to me, is a word that symbolizes an inexpressible feeling. It isn't limited to lovers or family and friends. It's a feeling that fills the void of a dark abyss, almost, lighting it with bright and flawless hues... My love is precious to me... because it cannot be put into words and it means something different to me than it may mean to anyone else."

"And the circumstance?" he wondered. I didn't need him to expand on that.

"... Trust..."

Inuyasha was silent again, before putting the brush down and pulling me up into his lap. "And you don't trust me. Not enough in your own mind."

It was heartbreaking, to hear that from him as if he understood it so well. It hurt me to know that he was feeling hurt at the lack of something so precious in my own mind.

He knew me too well...

And it hurt to know I knew him just as well... and felt the way I did.

I loved him- that would forever and for always be true and evident in my life- and I couldn't live without him. I had already tried that and I barely lasted those few weeks apart.

I loved him and I wouldn't deny it or let my heart be pulled back...

But I hadn't exactly put my heart in his hands, yet.

"I hate myself," I whispered quietly, clutching on to his shirt as I curled into a ball. "I hate my mind - I hate this. I'm so sorry," I cried, tears forming, but refusing to flow.

Inuyasha wrapped his arms around me, his legs moving to encircle me as well. He became my shield from the world in this way, blocking every harmful thing from me.

But he couldn't block my mind from tearing me apart.

"Trust takes time," he muttered, though his words seemed forced and almost resentful. "Just slow down and let it take time. I'm not pushing you."

"How can you act like this is nothing," I asked, pushing away from the man. "I gave my vows to you and I'm sitting here telling you I can't back them up- and after all we've gone through- and after you give me everything without thought about how it could hurt you in the end."

"I trust you," he said, smiling.

"I wish you didn't," I whimpered, blinking the water from my eyes.

"Only because you wouldn't feel so guilty," he replied, laughing lightly. "And I would take it back just to lessen your guilt, if I could. You know that."

I watched his amber eyes, love and sadness swimming around freely. I hated that I'd made that cursed sunset reappear in those golden orbs. Laughter seemed dull from him, almost pained in a way. He was trying so hard to help by holding up that sickening familiar front of being okay.

"I love you," I stated softly, watching as the emotions darkened in his eyes. Yes, I'd hurt him dearly. "I will always love you..."

"Can you love without trust?"

I crawled out of his lap and stood in the middle of the floor, maintaining eye contact the entire time. I was going to spell it out for him, but another thought came to mind and I smiled. He raised an eyebrow in half interest and half irritation.

"I have a song for you," I stated. His attention gained intensity at that moment, his eyes returning slowly to the brightness it had held before the audition. "Think of it as a message... one I received this afternoon... Just listen and tell me what you think it means."

He nodded. Taking a deep breath, I recited the lyrics, watching as his face contorted and twisted each time a new thought washed over him. When I was finished, a single word was pulled from his throat.

"Dark."

"Dangerous," I said.

"Determined."

I thought for a while. "Daring. Destructive. Disturbing. Deep. Demanding." At this, the singer nodded. "So, what do you get from it?"

"It sounds like the answer to your problem," he chuckled. "You still have something to do before you can trust me completely- though, what that something is, I'll never know."

"What about the snake?"

"Are any of those other songs of yours as meaningful?" he implored, stretching and lying back on the bed, his fingers laced behind his head. "Any mysterious meaning behind them?"

"I don't think so," I mumbled, crawling my way to lay beside him, propping myself up with an elbow. "I never sang anything like that before."

"It was an interesting melody- entrancing, almost... haunting," he muttered, looking at me with a grin. "You know," he began, wiggling his eyebrows, "it's almost exactly like you. You'll forever haunt me."

I shot him a flat look. "Okay, enough playing. What do you get from it?"

"It sounds like a warning, and, like I said, the answer to your whole trust-dilemma," he answered, brushing an invisible speck off the shoulder of my shirt. "... It reminds me... of... of the way you asked me about Kikyou."

My mind, once again, screeched to a halt. "Kikyou?"

"Yeah," he muttered, shrugging. "It's just, the air around you kind of went... I don't know... confused and lost... and frightened."

It was my turn to shrug. "It scares me when something like that just plants itself in my mind."

"Completely understandable," he chuckled. "Well, let's hope that 'undone something' is over with soon, ya?"

"Hai," I giggled, blocking the hurt from my voice as my mind contradicted my words. 'Iie... I don't want to have to face it...'

"Anyway, about that whole adultery thing..."

Exactly how many times is my mind going to suddenly stop working in a day's time?

"Yeah?"

"... I think... Kouga and I, we've noticed something odd..." he said, pulling me down to rest my head against his chest. "... We think... you might want to talk about this with Ayame, but... We think..."

"You think...?"

"We think Sango's pregnant."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


A/N: Wow, a lot happened in this chapter... I really didn't mean for Inuyasha to figure this out so soon, but it just happened- I mean about Kagome's whole 'trust-dilemma' thing(by the way, Kagome's officially an idiot in this story- not trusting Inuyasha. Gods, she has to be denser than he is in the Anime. I mean, seriously!). And- oh, God! Sango, pregnant! 0,o' That would mean... Bad Houshi-sama(Monk-respectful title)! Bad Taijiya- san(Mr. or Mrs.)! They aren't married yet! Maybe she really does have a cold, though... Hm...

*sigh* *rubs temples* I feel so worn out right now... Maybe it's because every two days I'm home from school throwing up... Not that you need to know that... *sighs* Plus, I'm going to be gone from the 17-21 at a taxidermy competition, so I won't be able to write anymore chapters... Anyway, I don't know what just happened, but I'll work with it. It seems I never really follow along with my plans, huh?

Well, please review. I love to hear from readers-send me an email if you don't feel like reviewing for whatever reason. I'm glad to be of any help, so if you have any questions, feel free to contact me. ^_^

Sayonara, minna! (For those of you wondering why I am changing this, Pantwinny has informed me that, technically, 'ja ne' means 'isn't that so'. Thanks for the info, Pantwinny! ^_^ But, you know I'll still be using Ja ne- it's like a uniform closing for me- I have to have it!)