Awe you guys beat up Bella bad for this, but try to see it from her eyes.. I want to shout out Bunch2009, she always see's my vision and I just love her! Also Missemmett my friend. Huge shout out to Audrey best Beta on earth, I love her, she knows it! To all my fans, I do read all your reviews and respect what you got to say, even if I don't always reply, I appreciate it so much! Give me a lot of love, two chapters out in 24 hours, I know I rock! I also believe in HEA lol
CHAPTER 21
It had been a week since I walked out of Edward's office. A whole week of not seeing him or talking to him, it was like pure torture. But it had to be done, my subconscious kept telling me! He called, emailed, sent different color roses everyday, even stopped by, but Rose informed him in her most polite voice he wasn't welcome.
A week spent moping around my apartment. Rose refused to go out with Emmett and she refused to let him come over. She thought it would be too painful. Maybe she was right, it would be difficult to see her so happy with Emmett. I'd made the right decision I kept telling myself, but my heart disagreed.
I had no idea if he still had his informant stalking me or not, but the thought that he did was actually comforting. How did I feel about that exactly? I had time to think about it rationally. I wish he had told me earlier that he had someone trailing me because in a kind of twisted way it was sweet that he wanted me protected.
But he crossed a line. He went too far. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like hell and I didn't care. Everything reminded me of him; his soft lips, intoxicating smell, and precious laugh. Why couldn't you just be normal Edward?
I was packing my suitcase. I decided I wanted to go home for Thanksgiving, to Phoenix. My Aunt Rachael and Uncle Phil had been inviting me to come for a visit since I moved. Rachael was like a mother to me since my own had died when I was fifteen. I still miss her.
"All ready to go?" Rose was leaning in my doorway eating a carrot.
"Yeah, I'm pretty much done." I shrugged zipping up the suitcase.
"Okay, well I'm done too. Emmett said he would drop us off at the airport. I threatened to castrate him if he told Edward." She winked at me.
I rolled my eyes and pulled the suitcase off the bed. I dragged it to the front hall and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a banana off the counter.
"Is he excited about meeting your parents?" I raised an eyebrow at her.
"Actually he is; I told him my parents would love him. What's not to love in a billionaire?" She laughed.
"A lot of things;" I mumbled under my breath.
"Are you okay, please be honest with me? We don't have to go, we can stay." Rose was trying to be sincere.
"No, this trip is exactly what I need. The change of scenery will do me good. Not all of us have a diamond ring on our finger." I pointed at her left hand.
She blushed and walked back to her room.
After Rose told Emmett about the pregnancy scare, the very next day he proposed to her. It may seem very sudden and out of the blue, but they were so in love. When you have found the one, it's just right and no set amount of time is needed to figure it out.
About 20 minutes later Emmett was taking our bags and placing them in the back of his hummer. He stopped a few times to peck his soon to be wife on the lips. It was sweet and heartbreaking all at the same time. Why couldn't Edward be more like that?
I climbed into the back of the truck and we drove off to the airport. As I watched the city go by, I contemplated all that had happened in the last week. I had given Edward back his car. I didn't want it. It only reminded me of him and that was the last thing that I needed.
Emmett had generously bought Rose and me our plane tickets to Phoenix. He said it was a Thanksgiving gift, to me, but I think it was just his way of getting on Rose's good side. He offered to take us on his private jet, but I knew Edward would find out. Hell he probably knew about this, even if Emmett swore he didn't.
They tried to keep the PDA to a minimum, but I didn't want to be a thorn in their side. I pretended that it didn't bother me when in truth it was killing me. I was like a paranoid lunatic now. I felt like everyone was following me, that all eyes watched me. I needed to come to terms with my decision, obviously I hadn't done that yet or I would feel more settled.
We got on the plane in first class and I informed the flight attendance that I would be sleeping until we got there. It was only a two and half hour flight. I drifted off to sleep and before I knew it, Rose was nudging me awake to let me know we would be landing soon.
Rose's parents, Richard and Nancy Hale met us at the airport. Richard immediately got lost in conversation with Emmett. I knew they would love him. After dropping me off at my aunt's house, Rose told me she would be back at 10 to pick me up so we could go out. I really didn't want to go, but I figured it was better than moping.
"Oh Bella, it's really you!" My Aunt Rachael enthusiastically greeted me.
We embraced and then she grabbed my face to appraise me.
"You look like crap, are you feeling okay? Has Seattle been treating you alright?" She looked at me with kind eyes.
"I'm fine Aunt Rachael, just tired from the flight." I lied.
"Okay, well you know where the spare room is. Why not lay down before dinner, Phil will be home soon." She patted my shoulder and left me in the hall.
I dragged my suitcases down the hall to my room. It was a simple room with white walls and a flower print comforter on the bed; a simple desk and dresser and two end tables. Simple just like me, I thought sadly. I unpacked my things and decided to take a shower.
After cleaning myself up it was about 6:30 in the evening. Rachael had made a roast and we all talked about what we had been up to. I didn't mention quitting my job to them yet because I was trying to find another, but of course Uncle Phil was always way too nosy for his own good.
"So what's it like working for Edward Cullen?" Phil asked as he ate
"It's okay." I muttered nibbling a bit of my roast.
"Just okay? When you called and told us, I researched his company. This guy is a genius. It must be so awesome to work for him." He shook his head with enthusiasm.
"Hardly a genius, he's just a regularly person." I focused on the peas on my plate
"Yeah, because all regular people have billion-dollar bank accounts." He laughed.
I really didn't want to have this conversation with him, let alone anyone. I needed a topic change.
"Have you spoken to Jake?" Rachael finally spoke.
Not the topic I would have chosen, but it diverts attention from Edward.
"He came to see me a while back in Seattle." I sighed.
"Really? What did he want?" She eyed me.
"Just to apologize on how he left things." I shrugged back into the chair.
"I always hoped you two would get married. You were always so perfect together." Rachael chimed.
"He's not that perfect." I mumbled again.
"But I thought..." Rachael trailed off.
"You thought wrong. I'm going to make a phone call, excuse me." I pushed myself away from the table and walked out of the room.
I never told them how things really ended with Jake and failed to mention he came to visit until now. Rachel always had a soft spot for Jake and I couldn't completely blame her. He wasn't a bad person, but he just made some bad choices, he seemed to do that a lot. I deserved to be with someone who treated me like their equal.
Emmett was driving Rose's old car, while I sat in the back seat. We were going to a club called Eclipse in downtown Phoenix. Rose and I used to go there all the time when she still lived here. Jake hated the place. We pulled in front and Emmett handed the keys to the valet.
"You want to sit in VIP?" Emmett asked.
"Doesn't matter." I shrugged
"You look hot Bells, just thought you should know." Emmett gave me a smile and a wink.
I blushed and Rose giggled. I had on a blue dress that was strapless and went just to my knees paired with matching low heels. My hair was loosely curled down my back and Rose had done up my eyes very sultry.
"What do you want to drink?" Rose whispered shouted in my ear.
"Something strong." I shouted back.
She nodded her head and walked to the bar leaving me with Emmett.
"Edward can be a jerk and I'm sorry about that." Emmett said sincerely.
"Don't apologize for him. I don't even know how the two of you are related." I sighed.
"Well when a mom and dad really love each other..." He began to joke.
I nudged him in the arm with my shoulder and he gave a booming laugh.
"I know he is not like normal people, I guess that's why he is so successful; because he never gives a fuck. But he was different with you. He seemed almost normal." Emmett stared off.
"I care about him, but it just wouldn't work. You don't get it." I shook my head.
"Oh Bella, I know more than you think I do about my little brother and his extracurricular activities." He winked at me.
I opened and closed my mouth several times, but no words escaped. Rose returned with drinks in hand and I was grateful for the distraction. I took a sip of the red concoction she gave me. It was very sweet.
"What is this?" I asked her
"It's called a red death." She shrugged sipping from her straw.
"I hope it's not the death of me." I said taking another sip.
"I'm getting a beer." Emmett announced walking toward the bar.
"So what was he saying to you?" Rose asked.
"He was just telling me that Edward is scum, nothing new." I giggled.
"Can I say something without you yelling or being mad?" Her eyes slanted.
"Yeah sure, not like that ever stopped you before," I laughed.
"I liked you with Edward. I don't know how to explain it, but you two just seem to fit together, like me and Emmett. I know he is a jerk and everything. Even if I don't know any of the details of why you ended it, I just hope it was for the right reasons and not because he said something that may have scared you." She took a long drag of her straw.
I thought about what she said. I wish I could tell her the sorted details, but I legally couldn't. Oh yes Rose Edward is a dominant and he stalks me. Can you believe he had someone following me? Yup, I can see that going over really well.
"Thanks Rose." I nodded my head and she smiled.
About two hours and six drinks later I was having the time of my life. I hadn't had this much fun since Halloween. Oh yes, Halloween. The whole night wasn't a waste, just the part where Reilly and Edward got into it. But the rest was so wonderful. Stop thinking about Edward.
I danced with random guys. I even had a couple dances with Emmett. It was turning out to be a wonderful night until I felt a very large hand on my shoulder. I spun around to be faced with Jacob Black.
It was surprising to see him here since he never came when I was living here. He always said clubs meant sex and that's all anyone looked for in these places.
"Bella, is that you?" He looked at me skeptically.
"Jake!" I threw my arms around his neck hugging him tightly.
"Whoa, you're drunk and in Phoenix!" He said with a chuckle.
I looked up into his big brown eyes. I had forgotten how good looking he was. I rubbed his cheek just staring at his face. Why couldn't I have loved him more?
"Bella, are you feeling okay?" He asked with concern in his expression.
"I feel fine!" I laughed hugging him tighter.
His muscular body was pressing into mine. He smelled so good. I rested my head on his chest, hearing the thumping of his heart.
"Who are you here with?" He whispered in my ear.
"Rose and Emmett." I said, wrapping my arms around his waist.
"Who's Emmett?" He inquired.
"Rose's fiancee."
"I didn't even know she had a boyfriend. Wow." He said in amazement.
"It was love at first sight." I sighed.
"You want to get some air?" He looked down at me.
"Sure!" I exclaimed and pulled him toward the exit.
We walked outside and the night was surprisingly warm. I got so used to the weather in Washington that I had forgotten what warmth was.
"Do you want to sit on the bench over there?" Jake pointed to the small park across the street.
"Okay." I bobbed my head and he took my hand leading the way.
We sat down on a bench and it was quiet for a few minutes until Jake began to speak.
"How's things with that boyfriend of yours?"
"It's over." I shrugged swinging my legs.
"Really? What, what happened?" His interest suddenly peaked.
"We had different views on things and I couldn't handle his life style." I used my fingers as quotations.
"I'm sorry to hear that." He looked at me thoughtfully.
"Are you really?" I asked with a smile.
"Of course, I may not like the fact that you were dating someone else, but by no means did I ever wanna see you get hurt." He gave me a small smile.
"Thanks Jake. I want you to be happy too." I squeezed his hand.
"You made me happy." He reached his hand out to touch my cheek.
I touched his hand that was on my cheek and he smiled brightly at me. He must have taken that as a invitation, because before I realized it, he was leaning in to kiss me. His lips moved across mine, but I was frozen. I didn't know what to do, my head and heart were malfunctioning at the moment.
I kissed him back on instinct, until I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up to see Rose standing over us tapping her heel on the ground, and she looked kind of pissed.
"Well here you are! I was looking everywhere for you thinking someone abducted you; I called your cell a 100 times and got no response. Instead I find you on a bench with, him!" She glared at us both.
"Nice to see you too Rose." Jake said rolling his eyes.
"There is nothing nice about seeing you!" She growled at him.
She pulled me to my feet and began to drag me away. Emmett was parked in the car by the curb. As I was being pulled away I yelled to Jake.
"Call me tomorrow!" I said as I was being pushed into the backseat.
"Well that was just rude Rose!" I pouted with my arms crossed in the back seat.
"I'm just going to believe you don't have a brain right now, because all the alcohol as killed it. You do realize you just kissed Jacob Black, don't you?" She glared at me from her seat.
"I know that." I shook my head
"Bella, fuck!" Rose's shrieked, making me jump.
"I'm sorry." I stumped in my seat.
"I thought you liked Edward?" Her voice coming back to normal.
"Edward can go climb a tree and fall from it." I looked out the window.
"Damn it Bella, what did he do!" She threw her hands in the air.
"You hate him, you should be happy it's over." I sighed with anger.
"It's hard to hate the guy when I know he is in love with you. I've never seen you so happy before." She put her head in her hands.
"He's not in love with me. I don't even think the bastard has a heart." I mumbled.
"I disagree Bella, I'm with Rose on this one. He is totally bummed since you broke up. I've never seen him like this." Emmett raised an eyebrow in the mirror.
I ignored them both and rested my head on the window. We drove the rest of the way in silence. They dropped me off at Rachael's and Rose said she would call me in the morning. I dismissively waved her off.
I went into my room and striped off my clothes and plopped on the bed and was asleep in moments. The next morning I got up around 10:30am. It was raining outside. Of course that would be just my luck. Leave one rainy place only to find another. Rachael owned a daycare center and Phil owned a garage. They both were gone and off to work by the time I decided to get up. I went into the kitchen and started making coffee.
Rachael made muffins and I scarfed down three. I wasn't hung over like Halloween, but my head throbbed just the same; at least no nausea.
The door bell began to ring incessantly. I dragged myself off the kitchen stool and proceeded to the front door. When I flung it open ready to scream at whoever it was, then the wind was completely knocked out of me. There stood soaking wet looking at me was none other than Edward Cullen.
I stood there just staring at him; no words came to mind, I was utterly stunned. All I could think about was the fact he looked so sexy all wet. He had on a gray tee shirt with black jeans and converse sneakers. His hair along with the rest of him was drenched from the rain, but he looked so hot!
"Bella, can I come in?" He asked with water dripping down his face.
"Huh?" I shook myself out of the daze I was in.
"Edward, what are you doing here?" I said confused.
"I had to come see you and make sure you were okay."
"Well you can see I'm perfectly fine." I gestured my hands in front of my body.
"I'm not," he said his face crumbling.
"Not what?" I needed to hear him say it.
"I'm not fine without you." His eyes looked completely lost.
"You should have thought about that before you decided to deceive me repeatedly." I put my hands on my hips.
"Can I come in so we can at least talk without me getting sick?"
I moved out of the way and motioned for him to come in. I didn't want him to get sick. Yeah Bella keep telling yourself that.
I walked to the hall closet and pulled out a towel handing it to him.
"Thanks." He gave an uncomfortable smile.
I nodded my head and walked into the kitchen. He was drying his hair while walking behind me. I turned abruptly and he jumped, not expecting me to stop. I wanted to laugh, but felt this wasn't the most appropriate time.
"How did you know I was here? Is your guy still stalking me?" I said sarcastically.
"No. Rose called me last night and told me to get my ass down here and fix this." He chuckled to himself.
"So you came because Rose threatened you? I think you can take your ass back where you came from. Just leave the towel."
"I didn't just come because of Rose, I came because of you. Bella I miss you desperately." His eyes pleaded with mine.
"Oh I see. You came because she told you about Jake kissing me, so you got jealous and hopped on a plane." I said smartly.
Obviously Rose left out the kissing part because his facial expression went from tortured to furious. Oops, I guess she didn't mention that part.
"What?" His tone rising.
"Nothing," I started looking in every direction but at him.
"Please tell me, you didn't just say you kissed your ex." His teeth clenched.
"I didn't say I kissed him. I said he kissed me." I corrected him.
"Why were you even around him? Is this the kind of thing you do Bella? When you have a fight with your boyfriend, you run to the closest man to shack up with?" His tone condescending.
"Excuse me?" My fists tightened with anger.
"You heard me." He tightened his jaw.
"Fuck you! How dare you! Who do you think you are! Get out!" I screeched at him.
"I'm not leaving until you answer me!" He matched my rage.
"Get out Edward or I swear I will call the police!" I yelled at him.
"You heard her. She asked you to get the hell out. Now leave before I remove you." Jake's voice boomed from behind us.
Edward's head spun around and I could see his beautiful features darkened. He ran at Jake and tackled him to the ground. Jake was physically more muscular than Edward, but I had no doubt Edward could hold his own in a fight.
Edward was on top of Jake punching him repeatedly in the face while Jake tried to choke Edward. They wrestled back and forth on the floor while I tried to separate them from each other. Jake was now on top of Edward repeating the same maneuver on Edward.
"Stop it the two of you before someone get hurt!" I pulled at my hair feeling defenseless.
I grabbed my phone and dialed up Rose telling her to get Emmett over here now. Lucky for me, Rose's house was directly behind this one. I saw Emmett jump the back fence and came running in the house with Rose's brother Caius right behind him.
They pulled the guys apart. Emmett had Edward and Caius had Jake.
"Let me go I'm going to fucking kill him." Edward growled.
"I'd like to see you try leech!" Jake spat at him.
"Caius get Jake out of here." Emmett barked at him.
With that Caicus was dragging Jake out the front door.
"Man let me go, I'm cool." Jake yelled from outside.
Edward was still wiggling in Emmett's grip when I came to stand directly in front of him.
"How much more of a child can you be?" I held his cheek tenderly.
"I've wanted to knock the shit of out him since I met him." Edward's eyes were hard.
Emmett released him, feeling he was finally calm enough. I dropped my hand from his face. Then without any notice I punched him square in his jaw. His head flew back and he touched his jaw to adjust it.
"GO Bella!" Emmett cheered.
"You punched me?" He looked at me surprised.
"You deserved it!" I crossed my arms.
"You fucking punched me and it hurt!" Edward spoke still in shock.
"Good." I nodded with approval.
"Dude you so deserved that. Nice left hook Bells. I always knew you were feisty." Emmett smiled enthusiastically.
I looked up at Edward's now purple and bloody face and my heart sank a little bit. No matter how much I was happy he got his ass handed to him, I didn't want him to be injured. His lip was split and his eye was beginning to swell and a bruise was blossoming along his jaw. I sighed and walked to the fridge taking out the ice cube tray from the freezer. I got a hand towel from the drawer and dumped the ice into it. I wrapped it and handed it Edward.
At first he wouldn't take it. I just rolled my eyes at him and placed it on his swollen eye. He eventually gave in and took it from me, sitting at the counter. At some point Emmett disappeared and we were left alone, once again.
"I'm not sorry for attacking him." He mumbled.
"I'm not sorry for punching you." I added.
"I don't blame you. I would punch me too for acting like such an asshole." He teased.
"I love you, but sometimes you just frustrate me." I pulled at my hair.
His face stilled and he looked at me as if he was going into shock. I didn't understand at first what his problem was. I looked over my shoulder to see if maybe there was something there to frighten him, but we were alone. I turned back to his stunned face.
"What did you say?" He said it so low I wasn't sure it was meant for my ears.
I looked at him confused until it really dawned on me what came out of my mouth. Holy fuck me! I just said I love you! It came out so naturally and so easily that I didn't even realize it. But looking at his startled face I felt completely terrified that I had declare myself, so I felt justified evading the real question.
"I said you frustrate me." The uneasiness of my tone was evident.
"No, before that," his stone face never showing any emotion.
"I'm not sorry." I cringed in guilt.
"You said you love me." He whispered.
"No, no I didn't." I stuttered.
"Yes, you did." His voice getting louder.
"You're hearing things." I was starting to sweat.
He rose from the stool and walked in front of me. He placed his icy hands on my face and explored my eyes, as if he hoped to see it there.
"Say it again." His sweet breath fanning my face.
I swallowed hard. I couldn't say it again even if I wanted to. I was completely and utterly out of words. My voice was no longer my own. He traced his finger over my lips as if to memorize their outline.
"Please, say it." He tone was relaxed.
I closed my eyes, delighting in the feel of his thumb caressing my bottom lip and I let my mind decide what to do. My heart already knew the truth.
"I love you Edward." I whispered softly.
His intake of air was sharp and I could hear his breathing pick up. I opened my eyes to be greeted with dark green ones. He was incinerating me with his stare.
His hands suddenly left my face and he turned around and stalked toward the door. I had no idea what his problem was, but I followed quickly in step behind him. The rain was still pouring, even harder now. I ran to him and grabbed him by the arm. He turned with dripping water down his face looking rather irritated.
"Edward I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you." I could feel the tears beginning to build in my eyes.
"You don't love me Bella." His tone was patronizing.
"You have a lot of nerve telling me how I feel!" I stomped my foot.
"You have a lot of nerve yourself!" He screeched.
I stood there just staring at him.
He paced back and forth angrily pulling at his hair before he stopped and stared daggers at me.
"You walk away from me every chance you get! You claim I am the screwed up one, but it's really you! I was honest with you Bella. Nothing I did was ever to hurt you, but you; you hurt me every time you walk away. Every time things get too much complicated, you just stomp off, to so you don't have to deal with it.
"Yes Bella I have a past and even if the things that happened before you hurt your feelings, I am not apologizing for them! It was just that the past; you have no right to hold that over my head." He threw his hands up in the air.
I looked at him with tears streaming down my face. Is that why he thought when I gave back the collar? He thinks I'm jealous of his ex? He really didn't get it. I need to set him straight.
"I didn't change my mind because of some woman who didn't love you in college! I gave back the collar because you don't know how to love. Your version of love is twisted and wrong." I shouted.
"Twisted and wrong?" He glared at me.
'Yes." I screamed.
"My liking kinky sex doesn't make me a bad person, nor does it make me twisted. Just because you are closed minded doesn't mean everyone else is too." His aggressive voice echoed.
"Closed minded? I was willing to try for you, but you weren't willing to try for me. I signed the contract, I wore the collar. What did you give up for me? You're just some spoiled rich guy with too much money and time on his hands. I'm just a hobby to you. You were bound to get bored with me eventually, so I saved you the trouble." I shrieked.
His mouth fell open in surprise. My words stunned him until for a moment, and then he regained his composure.
He was standing in front of me towering over me. His eyes blazed with anger.
"I work hard for what I have and for what I want. Do you think it was easy for me to try normal for you? You claim you tried so hard, but did you? You were collared a whole three days before you gave up! I felt like a ping pong ball with you constantly changing your mind
I may be the one who never had a real relationship, but that's not because some fucking older woman screwed me up for life, it's because I've never met anyone that makes me feel the way you do! I feel alive when I'm with you, I feel that being happy is possible when I'm with you," He raged.
I looked up at him, speechless. What exactly did he just admit to me? He was right about a lot of things and it pissed me off. He was always right!
He was shaking his head and began to walk away from me again toward the black BMW that I only just noticed parked by the curb.
"Who's the quitter now!" I screamed after him.
He turned suddenly and glowered at me as if he wanted to leave a lasting impression in my head.
"I have a plane to catch." He stood there drenched from the rain.
"You came all the way here, just to leave again." I said through tear filled eyes.
He rubbed his face roughly with his hands.
"What do you want from me?" He yelled.
"The truth." I sobbed.
He pulled viciously at his hair again. He bent at his knees and sucked in deep breathes.
"Fuck Bella! I told you everything! I want you, I need you." His eyes looked pained.
At that moment I threw myself at him. I ran straight into his arms. He pulled me tightly into him and I just cried. Sob after sob until I finally felt myself relax.
"shoo Bella, Bella, my sweet beautiful girl." He whispered into my wet hair.
He pulled my head into his hands and examined my face carefully.
"I want to say it back, I do, but I just can't right now. Can you try to understand?" He pleaded-begged.
"Please don't go Edward." My eyes were burning from the tears.
"I wasn't lying about needing to catch a plane, but I needed to make things right with you first." He hesitated before he spoke again.
He looked up at the rain filled sky then back at me.
"Come with me." He looked down at me expectantly.
"Yes." And he kissed me passionately and then pulled me toward the car.
I hope this makes you all happy! Dartmouth next chapter, uh oh!