"Why can't you just tell him I'm fine?" Ahsoka knew she was whining - and anyway, who liked caring for a rotten, whiny Togruta? - but she was beyond caring. The sheets on lay still and calm over her lower body, completely opposite of what she was. The Med Droid shuddered and moved as far away as it could from her.
Anakin, Jenx, and Obi-Wan had been just outside her room for a long time - too long, Ahsoka thought bitterly as her eyes bored into the door. There was no denying that she wanted them in here, that she was as awed and frightened by what had happened as they had been - and had he been right with those nightmares previously? Was her Master really going to become a Sith? Ahsoka wanted an answer, and they were no help to her.
Ahsoka heard shouting, and she instantly knew it was Anakin. A small smile graced her lips when she thought of Jenx. The former Jedi was strong - stronger than Anakin was emotionally - and he would hold his ground against Anakin's railing and threats.
The door flew open so suddenly that Ahsoka jumped, and her eyes met the wild blue ones of her Master and the amused green ones of her exiled friend. Jenx's face, rugged, but kind - always kind - was open and he rolled his eyes when he saw Ahsoka looking at him. She giggled slightly, and Anakin raged once more. He struggled to hide his anger, but Ahsoka knew that he was not succeeding.
Ahsoka made a face at Jenx, and he sat beside her and tapped the end of her nose with his finger, "Silly." He remarked.
Anakin, simmering, could no longer hold back the words that came to his lips. He glared at his young apprentice as he unleashed his anger, "What were you thinking? Going to Lower Coruscant without-?"
"I'm almost seventeen, Master." Ahsoka responded dryly, too tired to actually be angry or fight. Honestly, she didn't really care this time how angry he got. If Anakin was angry, fine. He would have to live with his own emotional troubles.
Anakin, who had been pacing, stopped abruptly and gazed at her as though he had just realized that. His eyes softened as he took in the small teen and he glanced at Jenx, who had probably told him that before. "But..." He still protested, but his protests were weak. "I mean, the visions..." When he didn't mention the Bounty Hunters who had been after her, Ahsoka sighed in relief. Jenx hadn't told everything.
Ahsoka shifted awkwardly, "So you don't trust me or Jenx." She stated simply, and Anakin turned to her, ready to begin his rant again. But he stopped once more when she glared, "And, if you didn't realize, I dealt with the Visions. Alone."
Anakin moved further back, and for once, Ahsoka saw that she was winning. She didn't mention the power - all light energy - that had streamed through her limbs when she took away the Voice's leverage. Anakin stopped completely upon that thought. He was still afraid, and Ahsoka felt the slightest pang of pity. All his cruel life had ever taught him was that he was a failure, and all he ever would know was loss.
He didn't want to lose her. Ahsoka knew that, but when would he learn that by letting go he might prevent death itself? Ahsoka supposed she could tell him that, but instead she let out a sharp sigh, and her gaze snapped to Jenx.
"I got to go, Chil'. No telling what Windu or Yoda would say if they caught me here." Ahsoka nodded slightly, and he continued in a mild, slightly scolding tone, "Now, remember what I told you. No visits for a little while. You can come back, but not so soon."
Anakin was watching quietly, his arms crossed. Ahsoka supposed he never would like Jenx, mainly because of how she had met him. Still, why did it mean she couldn't interact with him. "What about Yashaka?" She asked, suddenly remembering. "Don't you miss her?"
Jenx shot her a withering glance, "Yes, of course, but it's not your fault she's gone. She made her choice, and her choice left to her leaving." Before his sorrow about his daughter's betrayal could spill into the Force, Jenx stood abruptly and looked at Anakin, "Well...good-bye."
Both Padawan and Master stared until Jenx gave his mild smile, never quite trusting to strangers and gave Ahsoka a small wink before he disappeared. Anakin scowled, ready to interrogate the young Padawan, so Ahsoka launched into explanation, "He's a former Jedi who was exiled cause of that attachment rule...don't hate him." She left her face blank, no room for debate. "And why did he tell you anyway?"
Anakin gave her a dry, withering glance, almost identical to Jenx's, then threw his hands up in the are. Almost in exasperation, Ahsoka noted. Anakin grumbled "What kind of Jedi do you think I am?" He meant 'Chosen One', "I can tell when someone doesn't belong here."
"Jenx belongs here!" Ahsoka said quickly, "I told you...he was exiled. Besides, if he doesn't belong here, neither do you." Oh, she nearly crossed the line with that one. Anakin's sharp glare met her blue eyes, but he could say nothing. Then his expression melted, "Ahsoka...how do you know they won't come back."
"You know it, too." Ahsoka pointed out quickly, "Skyguy, calm down. It's alright. I'm okay. Don't be mad." Anakin stared at her again for a long moment.
Then, he abruptly turned to Med Droid and Ahsoka couldn't decide if he agreed or disagreed, and said, "Any problems? Can she go now?"
The Med Droid look at the irritated little Togruta who lifted her lips slightly to reveal her sharp teeth in a small threat. The Med Droid cringed before stuttering, "H-her...headtails...are a bit s-s-sensitive as though they've b-been injured. Have th-they sustained injury?"
Anakin didn't hesitate to answer. "Yes," and Ahsoka scowled like a wounded Gundark who couldn't finish the fight.
The Med Droid shuddered again, the metal vibrating slightly. Ahsoka sent another icy look his way, and his metallic mouth clamped shut before he answered, "There is nothing that can be done...there is nothing physically wrong with her."
"Oh, so I'm mentally damaged." Ahsoka voice dripped with sarcasm, but, much to her dismay, the Med Droid didn't pick it up.
"Perhaps, yes, you are."
Almost amused at the droid's...blindness, but more so offended, Ahsoka threw back the sheets before Anakin nor the fear-ridden Med droid could stop her. Ahsoka leaned forward and placed her elbows onto her knees, cupping her face in her hands. She wanted to think of something snappish to say back, but she couldn't speak for a moment. If she did, she would start laughing at the way he was looking at her, like she was some monster. Or she would start screaming because she was taking offensive...to think, from some stupid droid.
"I'm fine." She said, "For those who don't have the Force or understand nightmares."
The Med Droid looked rather unsettled for a moment, "Then, go." Ahsoka saw a flash of something that looked much like anger over his features, but when she looked closer, it was gone. He - for once, it was not 'it' - busied himself with another matter.
Ahsoka had nothing to take out of the Medbay; she stood and stretched, feeling the relief run down her limbs. She had been trapped in bed much too long. Anakin's face was still looked kind of pensive, lost in thought, which was more of a 'Yoda' trait. Why couldn't anyone act normal?
So Ahsoka gave Anakin a wave, and he tried to swipe her shoulder, but missed. "I'm gonna see Padme."
When Padme opened the door, she had to hold back a gasp of surprise. Recently as the petite Togruta teen had started growing up, she had come to view her as a teen. But looking at the scrawny girl on the doorstep brought her back to her thoughts of the girl as a child. Ahsoka tilted her chin slightly, however, and smiled merrily when she saw Padme.
Padme watched the girl's eyes travel down her body, and saw Ahsoka's slight need to just be there. She wasn't sad, she wasn't mad...she seemed almost stunned. Padme wrapped her arms around her and guided Ahsoka to the couch, "Sit." She said softly, "Would you like some Caf?"
Ahsoka wrinkled her nose, and Padme caught it. But she knew enough to wait. Caf was not one of Ahsoka's favorite beverages and she only drank it at certain times. More so when she was tired. Finally, Ahsoka nodded, "Sure...but I can make it."
Padme shook her head, her rich brown loose and cascading into her face. "Don't have to." Her expression was almost amused when she held up a boiling pot. She poured it into two mugs and held one out to Ahsoka. She accepted, and sipped the liquid slowly.
"How are you?" Ahsoka asked as she watched her. It was very easy to tell Padme was pregnant, and she wondered how the older woman had ever hid it.
Padme snorted at Ahsoka's question, "Don't worry, I'm fine. I'm not helpless, don't worry. But you've lost weight...Ahsoka." She said sternly when Ahsoka squirmed uncomfortably.
Ahsoka's lips parted and she inwardly fumed. Why did everyone have to worry? "Padme, it's okay. Can't we talk about something -" Or someone - "else?" Padme watched Ahsoka for a moment before nodding.
"So." Padme began as she regarded the girl, "What's going on in the Temple?"
Ahsoka rolled her brilliant blue eyes and she sighed, "I wouldn't know...I've been in the Med bay." Padme couldn't help but raise her eyebrows at Ahsoka's comment.
"Why?" Wrapping her delicate fingers around her own mug, she sunk into the couch beside Ahsoka, who was swirling her caf around more than drinking it.
"Because of my mental problems." For a moment, Padme saw how offended she was, but then Ahsoka just shrugged. "But I'm alright now, I mean I feel better. But I had been having dreams..." Padme's breath caught in her throat as she remembered Anakin's terrible nightmares about her. She had to restrain herself from asking Ahsoka, 'What about?'
Ahsoka blinked as she looked at her Caf, as though she were wondering if she should tell, "They were sent to me by...someone. I guess I want to know if they're real, but...but if they are, we can stop them." Ahsoka shrugged and gave a small laugh, "I'm just tired. Can I stay -?" It was obvious she was no longer troubled anymore. She had been, but at least Ahsoka felt calm.
"Of course." Padme stood up, her black garment flowing and settling to the ground neatly. Ahsoka's eyes traveled up to her cream-colored face and gentle brown eyes. The blue met the brown, and Padme left the room. Still, just before she disappeared, she peeked back at Ahsoka. She curled up and her eyes fluttered shut. Padme had no doubt that Ahsoka would fall asleep very, very quickly.
When Ahsoka's eyelids fluttered open, she felt refreshed. She was no longer on Padme's couch though, but a cot in the kitchen. Somebody had moved her - not Padme. She suddenly remembered Padme waking her, and her feet stumbling to the kitchen. Padme had confessed that she expected visitors. She heard footsteps from the living room - Anakin's footsteps - and she edged to door. If you get caught...she admonished herself, but she couldn't help it. Padme was on the balcony, watching the sunset off in the distance.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Padme jumped in surprise from Anakin's voice When she turned to her husband, she relaxed visibly. She obviously hadn't known he was there.
"You startled me." Padme responded, her light, airy voice beautiful as it always was. She moved gracefully to a bench and Anakin sat beside her. Ahsoka knew he knew she was here, but he definitely didn't know she was watching.
Anakin's face held concern as he regarded his wife, "How are you feeling?"
Padme looked at him with relief. Ahsoka cursed herself for thinking she'd tell her, being so evidently thin and scrawny and in trouble herself. "He keeps kicking."
"He? Why do you think it's a boy?" Anakin responded in playful shock.
Padme giggled as she looked at Anakin. "My motherly intuition." Ahsoka smiled herself. Anakin, after all, couldn't say he had 'motherly intuition'. But Padme guided Anakin's hand to her stomach. His hand remained there for a moment, then he grinned mischievously at Padme.
"Whoa! With a kick that strong, it's got to be a girl." He said, probably to counter Padme's opinion. They looked at each other and laughed. Ahsoka settled a current of jealously, reminding herself that Anakin did care about her. After all, he had been terribly upset just awhile ago when Ahsoka was being destroyed by the Voice.
"I heard about your appointment. Anakin. I'm so proud of you." They were finally talking of this? Ahsoka wondered. The Voice's stay had seemed so long, but perhaps it was only a day, or so, and Padme and Anakin hadn't talked of the Jedi.
Anakin's face darkened as the anger came to settle over him. Ahsoka recognized that look, the look that meant danger, "I may be on the Council, but . . . they refused to accept me as a Jedi Master."
"Patience. In time, they will recognize your skills." Padme reassured him, and Ahsoka found herself inwardly agreeing with Padme. She wished Anakin would see it, too.
"They still treat me as if I were a Padawan learner. . . they fear my power, that's the problem."
"Anakin . . . " Don't be too proud, Skyguy, Ahsoka pleaded mentally. She wished he would realize that he was only destroying himself, and not helping anything at all.
"Sometimes, I wonder what's happening to the Jedi Order . . . I think this war is destroying the principles of the Republic." Anakin's gaze returned to the sunset as he lost himself in thought
"Have you ever considered that we may be on the wrong side?" An icy feel of shock sprang from Ahsoka's stomach and moved down her limbs. With the...Separatists? The ones I've been fighting so hard to destroy, and they've been trying to kill me? Okay, yes, Ahsoka saw the war wasn't as black and white as she thought. But when she thought of all the battles she had fought...one the wrong side...her work unraveling. That couldn't be possible,
"What do you mean?" Anakin's tone was filled with suspicion as he studied his wife critically. His eyes passed over her worried facial features, but Padme was not at all afraid of him. She prattled on.
"What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we have been fighting to destroy?" Ahsoka edged further away from the door. Was the democracy destroyed, as Padme said? Perhaps, because Ahsoka knew all too well of Palpatine's desperate want for power.
"I don't believe that. And you're sounding like a Separatist!" Anakin responded angrily, and Ahsoka knew at once that she was not to bring this up with him at all, even though she almost - almost - agreed with Padme.
"Anakin, this war represents a failure to listen . . . Now, you're closer to the Chancellor than anyone. Please, please ask him to stop the fighting and let diplomacy resume."
"Don't ask me to do that, Padme. Make a motion in the Senate, where that kind of a request belongs. I'm not your errand boy. I'm not anyone's errand boy!" Anakin snapped back, clearly angry. Padme studied him for a moment, then sensed something.
"What is it?"
"Nothing." Anakin shook his head, almost as if he were suggesting she not worry.
"Don't do this . . . don't shut me out. Let me help you."
"You can't help me . . . I'm trying to help you." Ahsoka's blue eyes narrowed on her Master. He must try to save everyone, but when would he ever realize he wouldn't work? Padme's eyes met Anakin's and perhaps she felt the same.
Anakin continued as though he didn't see Padme's thoughts, just charging ahead. "I sense . . . there are things you are not telling me."
Padme was startled by his words, and quickly replied without further ado, "I sense there are things you are not telling me." When Anakin's expression turned sheepish, she smiled up at him.
Ahsoka edged all the way back and returned to the cot before she heard the conversation end. All she could think of was not the baby, not Anakin's need to help everybody, but Padme's words about being on the wrong side.
Thank you everybody for the reviews! :) (and don't worry, the next chapter will be more exciting.)