Chapter 8

"I'm sorry." I muttered distractedly. "I'm just not feeling well."

"Was it the animal blood?" Asked Stefan.

"Of course it was the animal blood, brother." Damon said. "It's unnatural and unhealthy."

We were back in the Boarding House, after our rather unsuccessful hunt. Damon hadn't even had time to finish his paper before Stefan and I returned.

"I don't think it was the blood." I said. "I just need to lie down."

"You do that, Elena. And when you wake up, I'll have a nice blood bag waiting."

"No you won't Damon. Elena's committed to this diet. We're not going to provide unnecessary temptation."

Committed? Surely you're not that stupid, Elena?

I tried to ignore Katherine. Her incessant comments made concentrating on the conversation rather difficult.

"I'm just going to go." I said, leaving them behind and heading upstairs for peace and quiet. I collapsed on the bed, and tried to close my eyes. It was still early in the day, but I felt exhausted. And a bit hungry.

Finally. Now we can talk.

That's the last thing I want to do, Katherine.

Don't you have questions, Elena?

No.

You can't lie to me, sweetie. I'm you. I know what you know. No more secrets.

You're meant to be dead.

I am.

Then leave me alone. Why are you in my head if you're dead?

It's part of your heritage.

My heritage?

You're a Petrova, Elena. A Petrova doppelgänger.

So?

When a doppelgänger dies, she doesn't just vanish. Our bodies die, but our souls live on. In the mind of the next doppelgänger. The same thing happened to Taita. She might have died during Mikael's ritual, but the moment I was born she started nattering away in my head.

And it turned you into a heartless lunatic?

I wasn't crazy, she was. I was born five hundred years after she died. She spent the time in some kind of purgatory between here, the other side and whatever's after that. It drove her off the edge. I didn't have a moment of peace.

And when you died?

She disappeared. For an instant, I was all alone in my head. It...it was beautiful. And now I'm stuck in your's.

Can I get rid of you?

Nope. I thought becoming a vampire might free me of Taita. It was part of why I was so desperate to turn.

You must have been pissed when it didn't work.

You have no idea.

What...was it like having her in your head? Did she take control? Did she do anything other than talk?

Well she ranted a lot. And whined and moaned and laughed at me.

Can you be serious for one second?

What's one second out of forever?

Katherine, are you going to take control of me?

Unfortunately not.

So...you can't actually hurt me?

Hurt? Maybe. Take control? No.

Is there any way of making you shut up?

Even if there was, do you think I'd tell you, Elena? Don't be foolish. Or rude. I'll have to teach you some manners while I'm here.

I pulled a pillow over my head, but it made no difference. Katherine had died, only to pop into my head and carry on making my life hell right where she left off. I needed to think, but for that I needed peace and quiet. Things I doubted I'd be getting any time soon.

Sighing, I got off the bed and went for a shower. Katherine wouldn't let me sleep, so I might as well distract myself. Besides, this particular shower had been a long time coming. I hadn't washed myself since before the crash. The water was heavenly. I was in absolute bliss under the warm rain before she started speaking again.

You need to start thinking about your survival.

I groaned.

What about my survival?

You're a vampire now. People are out to get you. You can't be a weepy martyr like before you turned.

I don't expect you to understand, Katherine. I care about people other than myself.

Romantic, but not very practical. I may be trapped here, but I'm better off than if I was wandering the other side. If you go and get yourself killed, I'll be stuck alone.

You've been alone your entire life, Katherine. Why stop now?

Don't pretend to know me, little girl. I had Stefan and Damon both once, remember? I wasn't very alone then.

Yes you were. People who can only love themselves are always alone in the end.

You're very judgemental for someone who hasn't seen two decades pass yet.

You're five hundred and yet you act like a spoiled child.

Don't push me, Elena. I can make life miserable for you. Trust me, I know how. Taita took special pleasure in it.

I ignored her threat, and finished my shower. I felt slightly better now that I was clean. Insulting Katherine had made me feel more confident as well.

Our hair looks lovely, doesn't it?

I looked in a mirror. The curls had gotten worse. They weren't as violent as if I'd used a curling iron, but without my straightener, and after being unwashed for so long, it was far from the way I liked it.

It's not 'our' hair. It's mine.

Don't be petty. I'm sure Stefan will love it. Or Damon, whichever you prefer.

Prefer? I already chose.

Whatever you say, Elena. If you're so sure, go downstairs and send Damon away.

Damon's my friend. I don't send friends away because of jealous boyfriends.

We both know you couldn't survive without Damon. Don't pretend you don't feel something for him.

Even if I did, I love Stefan.

So did I, Elena. So did I.

We both know that's not true, Katherine.

Remind me never to hire you for my biography. You know nothing about me.

What's to know? Manipulate people, treat them horribly and then eat them.

You make me sound like a hag living in a gingerbread house.

So you're biography's already written then?

Very clever, sweetie. One day you'll realise life isn't separated into goodies and baddies though.

Walking down the stairs, I found Stefan and Damon sitting in the lounge. Both were reading and ignoring the other until I entered.

"Feeling better?" Stefan asked quickly.

"A little bit." I replied. "I'm...a bit hungry though."

"Right, I'll get the blood bag." Damon smirked, and stood.

"Sit down Damon." Stefan said sharply. "I have some stored animal blood, if you'd like it." He asked me.

For heaven's sake, take the people blood.

"Thanks, that sounds great Stefan." I said instead, satisfied Katherine wasn't getting her way. Stefan hurried downstairs.

"You're positive?" Damon asked more quietly. He looked concerned.

"I owe it to him to at least try stick to it, Damon."

"If you say so. How was your hunt."

"It was...difficult."

"How'd it taste?"

Mortifying. Repulsive. Sickening.

"A bit...off, but I think I might get used to it." Stefan came up the stairs holding a water bottle. He tossed it to me, and I sniffed it cautiously.

"Which of Bambi's buddies is that?" Damon asked sarcastically.

"Leave her alone, Damon." Stefan replied. I looked at the contents of the bottle dubiously.

"Out of interest, Stefan." I asked carefully. "What animal is this?"

"Squirrel." He answered. "Why?"

"Just interested."

"By the way, brother." Damon gave a mocking grin. "Which is your personal favourite? Just so Elena can better judge what she's drinking." Stefan didn't look like he was going to answer, but noticed me looking at him expectantly.

"Uh...deer."

Go on, Elena. Drink it. I doubt it'll live up to the standard of deer blood, if Stefan's to be believed, but how bad could it be?

Will you taste it too?

I...I don't actually know. Taita never mentioned it, but then again, she was human when she died. All blood probably would have tasted awful.

She certainly got stuck with a bad host in that case.

Just drink so we can find out.

"Elena?" Stefan asked, seeing the distant look in my eye.

"Hmm?" I returned to reality.

"Are you going to drink?"

"Yeah." I opened the bottle and took a tentative sip.

Good God, that's bad.

I couldn't deny it. The blood tasted horrible. I put a hand over my mouth and forced myself to swallow.

How does Stefan manage this? It's ghastly.

It's...not as bad as deer.

That doesn't make it drinkable.

"What do you think?" Stefan asked eagerly. I saw the hope in his eyes, but couldn't stand lying to him. I had to be honest.

"It...tastes really bad. Almost as bad as the deer." His face fell. "I'm sorry, Stefan," I continued. "But that's the truth."

"Do you...want to stop? Give up on the diet."

Without a doubt. Don't put us through more of that.

"Definitely not." I said. "It's bound to get better. I can do it, I'm sure. Will you help me?" My heart warmed at Stefan's look of happiness and relief.

"Of course."

You sicken me.

I owe him this.

Owe? He saved Matt before you. He's part of the reason you're going through this.

Have you forgotten that you are the reason I'm going through this? You turned me, you'll pay the price.

I took another swig of squirrel blood.

I wish I could be physically ill.

I couldn't help but smile, despite the horrid taste in my mouth. Stefan's grin widened when he saw me smile. He thought it was because of the animals blood. Who was I to tell him otherwise? I sat down and laid the bottle on the table next to me.

Oh thank goodness.

The room grew silent again, and I started to wonder whether I should tell them about Katherine.

Out of the question.

Why?

They won't understand.

How do you know?

How would you react if Stefan suddenly told you Klaus was possessing him?

I...

Exactly. You need to think of our safety first. Bonnie's already suspicious of you, along with Jeremy. If they knew I was here, do you think you'll ever set foot in your house again?

I can't lie to everyone I know.

Why not? You lied to Jeremy before he knew about vampires. You lied to Stefan when he became the Ripper.

I was protecting them.

Protect yourself. I'm not hurting them, am I? Look how blissfully happy Stefan is. How could you ruin that for him with bad news?

She had a point. Stefan looked so pleased with himself. Didn't he deserve at least a little time which he didn't have to spend worrying about me? Besides, it was my business. I could deal with it on my own.

Fine.

Well done. Maybe you have some sense after all.

But if you're planning anything sinister, Katherine, I won't hesitate to expose you.

Elena, dear. We're one person now. We're on the same team.

And which team is that?

I already told you. Team Petrova.