Blue plasma erupted from the end of Anakin's hand, and his lethal golden eyes glowed, more of a predator than Ahsoka had ever seen him. Suddenly made prey – his prey, nonetheless – Ahsoka stepped back before she could gather her wits. Involuntarily, she sunk into the Force, managing to grasp her neon blade in orange hand. It had always felt like it belonged there, but tonight it felt wrong.
She felt…broken. So hurt and ruptured, long forgotten bythe Jedi. Ahsoka felt lost, like no one had ever even cared to remember she was there, that she was now going to die. Too tired, too shattered to even shed tears, the battered Padawan gazed at her Master with exhausted blue eyes. Shattered. Broken. Ahsoka was Ahsoka, just as she had been when she had growled the word never, but she by no means wanted to fight.
In her heart, Ahsoka knew she was going to fight, she had to fight, but when she looked at her green glowing blade, a shuddering sight escaped her lips. Over. Gone. Dead. It was the end…night was falling. Emotionless to the outsider, the girl's gaze, still so drained, lifted slowly from her green blade, and the shoto slipped into her other hand.
In the end, in their last battle as Anakin Skywalker – because he was there, Ahsoka could feel it. If it had just been Darth Vader, she wouldn't be able to feel their bond – and Ahsoka Tano, it wasn't Sith versus Jedi. It wasn't Padawan against Master. It was Ahsoka against Anakin, and Ahsoka knew that she would never be able to gain the upper hand over the Chosen One.
Neither spoke as Ahsoka positioned herself in the unorthodox Reverse Shien grip, something that Anakin had always tried to break her of. She saw a momentary scowl slid over his lips involuntarily, like he was asking her why don't you listen?
A tiny smile graced Ahsoka's maroon mouth as she remembered her training – Like Master, like Padawan. But suddenly sick to her stomach as she thought of that, she vehemently tossed that suggestion away. But either way, Anakin had taught her a few things.
If there was one thing Anakin Skywalker had taught her, sometimes following orders didn't always work. What did he exactly expect? He turned away from her, so why did she have to listen to him anymore, anyway? Blue eyes sharpened and narrowed as the Togruta decided she would make the first move. She leapt into the air, gliding high over Anakin in a tidy flip. He glowered at her as their blades met midair, the Togruta landing neatly in front of him.
Shoving her 'saber upwards to meet the demands as Anakin chopped and parried, slowing when he came too close to hitting Ahsoka. Enraged, the Togruta fought faster, harder, trying to convince herself this wasn't Anakin, it was Vader.
"You have a choice." The man growled low in his throat, eyes glinting with fury. His exhausted look revealed his own weary stress, but Ahsoka knew now was not the time for sympathy, "Join me. I can let you go – but you never can show your face again. Or you will die."
Ahsoka couldn't say she wanted death. After all, who died willingly by their own mentor's blade? But either way, in a sense, was death. She was not a dark sider. Not ever. "I'm not a traitor." She retorted sharply, glowering at her former Master. "And if I leave – well…I…" Can't? If she said that, what would Anakin say? Their bond was strong, so strong it was hurting her. It strangled her because every time another surge of anger swelled in Anakin, she nearly doubled over in red-hot pain.
His muscular form flexed, easily whipping Ahsoka's blade aside. His 'saber came dangerously close to the Padawan's torso, the clothing smoking. Ahsoka could feel the heat of the blade mingling with the heat of the dark side, and almost gave up there, defeated. It was more of a threat – don't fight me, don't make me kill you, rather then he would kill her. The dark side turned her blood to sludge, making it difficult for her to stand up against her Master once more. She gasped in relief as she pressed his blue blade away, drawing in a deep breath as she did so.
Sweat poured down her cheeks and dripped off her chin. Anxiety numbed her bones, and her legs felt like rubber. Cursing, the girl ached to move freely as she had in epic battles to defeat Asajj Ventress. When she had fought her, there was no part of Ahsoka feeling connected to the Sith assassin. No part of her had felt like she was battling herself.
Anakin's blade nicked her central montral, and the girl smothered the urge to cry out. But surly Anakin saw the girl's pain in her deep blue eyes. Ahsoka squeezed them shut for a brief moment when he kicked her backwards, and her shoto flew from her hand. Desperate, she turned as it tumbled down the hallway. The Sith Lord gloated at his former apprentice menacingly.
With her other blade still clenched firmly in one hand, the teen's fist curled like a child's who was about to throw a temper tantrum, and she stared at Vader, still deep in fury. Plo Koon, crashing into a wall. Aayla Secura killed on Felucia…Obi-Wan falling, falling, falling. Temples throbbing, a gasp of shock and heartbreaking numbness stopped Ahsoka in her tracks. Glaring darkly at her Master, Ahsoka forced herself to breathe, to think, as she ignored the smoldering Force and the death convulsions.
The air was filled with rancid feeling of darkness, but Ahsoka raised her one blade and brought it down. Anakin met it easily, an she saw an opening…for him. But his eyes stared at it, and he made no move. Rather, he backed up slowly, staring at his sweat-drenched little Padawan whose hopeless expression in her eyes revealed nothing to him. Her blade trembled as she stared back at him, and he felt his eyes return to their normal ice blue.
Sorrow. Ahsoka felt the Force fill, heard an eerie, evil voice whisper the words, "No mercy." So far Anakin had succeeded – many Younglings had already died in the Temple. But…he couldn't…kill her.
"Master." The Padawan's lips moved involuntarily, and her voice trembled with weakness. Her beam of light ascended once more, but when green blade met blue, Ahsoka's eyes locked onto her Master's, they both realized it was more than the sparring they had preformed so many times. It was an ending.
Anakin's voice interrupted her thoughts, "I meant to save you." He sounded close to growling, "But you have to come with me…Ahsoka, please. Become my apprentice…we'll destroy Palpatine, and rule -."
"No." Ahsoka's voice was on the verge of cracking, but she forced herself to continue, "No, I can't do that." It wasn't the right way; so many would die in that path of life, "Never."
Fresh fury spread on Anakin's face, but his eyes did not return to their golden, lethal state. Rather, they were frigid as Hoth, frozen like ice. Ahsoka's blue orbs glowed in warmth as the light side basked over her, reminding her of what she knew so well. She reached into it, separating herself from Anakin's icy look, and when she opened them, her neon blade was pushed out of her hand. "I thought you cared about me." The Togruta whimpered as the deadly predator paced back in forth in front of her.
Another saddened gaze. "Oh, why don't you kill me now, then?" Ahsoka shot, frustrated. End my pain. Please.
Anakin used the Force to press her against a wall, and in Ahsoka, trembling with sorrow, had no strength to stop him. Her dark lashes fluttered, and closed over her eyes, waiting. She didn't think Anakin could kill her, but she had been wrong in the past. Her lips parted as her breathing shallowed; surly she'd be crushed by this impact. "I…saw…you." She gasped, "In…those visions. It…was Palpatine. He…wants me…to die. Master, I love you." The girl cried out.
The impact lessened, and Ahsoka fell, unable to control her body, to the floor. Her eyes opened and she met the too-old blue ones of her Master. He looked terrified, devastated. "I'm too weak." He muttered to himself. "One day, you'll see. Soon. We'll rule…all of us."
Ahsoka didn't reply as her vision grew hazy. She saw black and red mingling, saw the golden yellow of hatred, and her complete understanding of where she was faded. The last thing she heard was, "Do I shoot her, sir?" It sounded like Captain Rex, but then, all clones sounded the same. She never heard Vader's reply.
Breathing. In. Out. Scarlet pain fading, leaving the battered Togruta in its wake. Silent tears tracked down her cheeks, even as she slept. Too much pain…it hurt…it was killing her. Ragged sounds of her breathing, not by Vader's attempt to crush her, but by the crimson pain deep in her heart screamed. Ahsoka slowly returned to consciousness – she was alone. Somehow, one of her lightsabers was beside her. Ahsoka's fingers curved around it, and with very little strength she pushed it away.
The skin around her eyes crinkled as she forced herself to keep from crying, and her eyes squeezed shut…fading…descending back into the dark. Time passed in the hazy blackness, though the teen was unaware of it…just herself and sleeping. Forever. She couldn't live in this world. Master…Master. Voices approached, and a pain wrenched one, one that was struggling to control emotion was more than familiar, though the bewildered girl couldn't place it.
"Ahsoka." Smooth fingers touched her cheeks, "Oh, Ahsoka." The voice, so overwrought in emotion, was on the verge of tears. "I can't believe it…he didn't…oh, Ahsoka." He repeated, somehow panicky and soothing at the same time.
Ahsoka forced her sticky eyelids to open. The floor moved alarmingly, and Ahsoka nearly fell back into unconsciousness just trying to keep awake. "Obi…Obi-Wan. I couldn't stop it." It was Obi-Wan. He was alive. Good…because Ahsoka wasn't sure she could live. The hazy blackness kept lurking, and it was so much easier to be lulled away from the pain.
Obi-Wan lifted the girl to his chest, cradling her gently and spoke softly, "Ahsoka, please. Don't do this, Ahsoka. Sh, little one. You'll be alright." Ahsoka's lips were parted, and her blue eyes gazed up at him blankly.
"No. He…he's killing me. Every…person…he kills…" Ahsoka's eyes rolled upwards as their taut bond forced her to see, and left her so deep in misery. She heard Obi-Wan's yells, but the blackness enveloped her…it was so much calmer, no more death in the blissful ignorance of this place. Nobody had ever told her death felt this good…
But that was giving up, wasn't it? She was a fighter! Since when did Ahsoka Tano give up? Later…I'll fight later.
Voices. An offensive-smelling cloth held to her nose. Surfacing. Heat. Tears. Padmé's sweet voice, crooning the girl back to life. "Padmé…Padmé." Ahsoka heard her voice, heard herself cry out. Her warm blue orbs blinked open weakly, so weak she could hardly speak. But somehow she did, "No…can't…too much. Make it stop! Please!" Ahsoka squirmed horribly, and felt someone's hand on her shoulder.
"Ahsoka." Obi-Wan's voice was gentle, his eyes terribly worried. Through her hazy vision, his face wobbled, but Ahsoka could still make out the worry on his face."
Still, the words came out, like a faucet she could not turn off, "Burned…I feel it…they died…in the burning. Master Kenobi…it's all my fault…should've…tried to…help." Ahsoka's shook her head as if trying to shake the sights from her, and she felt Padmé's cool hand on her forehead.
"'Soka, it's all right. Sh, little one. Who did this to you?" Ahsoka didn't want to answer Padmé; she was trying to run from it. More blackness curled at the edges of her vision, and she tried to sink back into it…but nobody would let her.
She was her Master lying on the hot rubble next to the fiery river of lava…Mustafar. Vader, monster in the black suit who projected such a feared image to all. More white-hot hurt flooded her body. He would never call her Snips again.
Padmé's brown curls on her cheek made her stop reliving the visions she had seen before. Quiet, the girl took in a breath, trembling, as her body collapsed in grief "I never meant to want to see it." She said shakily, meeting Padmé's deep comforting eyes. Another ragged sigh, "I can't."
Padmé's face slowly came more into focus, along with the room – she was on Padmé's bed - and Naboo's former queen knit her eyebrows together quizzically, "Ahsoka, it's all right. Just stay here…you'll be fine. Obi-Wan, who did this? What's going on?"
Ahsoka looked warily into the Jedi Master's face, expecting him to answer, to break Padmé just as it had her. She waited for herself to be ripped up even more, but he didn't answer for a long moment. "Stay with me." The Jedi Padawan whimpered.
Obi-Wan looked a the small girl for a second, "Padmé, meet me in the living room in a minute." Ahsoka looked at him, hoping he could see the relief in her eyes that he had somehow knew she wanted to talk to Padmé.
When she felt Padmé's hand on her forehead again, she began to speak. The words…the worries…her difficulties from the past few weeks just tumbled out, "My Master…your child…would he still care about me? Would…you?"
Padmé's shock leaked into the Force; "Yes," She said, softly, gently, stroking Ahsoka's lekku, "Ahsoka, Anakin…Anakin really admired you, you know. He would never forget you."
A burning sensation in Ahsoka's throat, or perhaps it was mental, but the girl suddenly found it difficult to breathe. Fire in her eyes, she didn't answer…she didn't believe it anymore. She shouldn't have believed him at all. Ever. She should've been the good Padawan, the Padawan who didn't form attachments. "Visions…told me to die…and now…with the traitor." Incoherent, the girl looked at Padmé, "So sorry, Padmé. So sorry."
Padmé looked troubled, and her eyes locked on the door, "Ahsoka, I'll be back. Will you be all right? I'll have 3PO watch you." A smile almost came over Ahsoka's face. With that blasted droid watching her, she was as good as dead.
Still, the Padawan managed a shaky nod, and exhaustion numbed her body. She felt Padmé's hand on her shoulder, felt the woman deliver a soft kiss to her forehead, right were the lekku met her skin, and she felt almost better.
Ahsoka's eyes started to close, but the blazing urge to stay awake kept her eyes open. Their voices rose, and fell. She heard Padmé's denial.
"No…" Ahsoka whispered tormentedly, "That's what I thought…that he was still Anakin."
Padmé's birdlike footsteps approached, and she met the eyes of the ragged Padawan, and she nearly broke down. She loved the girl, but not as much as Anakin had. Ahsoka curled up in a ball, eyes still on her. The woman looked at her critically, "Is it true?"
Ahsoka's eyes closed. "He only wanted to save you." The girl coughed, a horrible rattling sound in her throat. She fought the blackness in her vision, fought everything. "Padmé."
The woman halted, her eyes burning. Ahsoka didn't need to see them to know how much they hurt, how much everything had killed her as Anakin descended down the dark path. It was all so…evil, what Palpatine had done. Ahsoka had always hated him…even if it wasn't a Jedi emotion; she thought it was within reason.
"Ahsoka, we're going to Mustafar." Padmé said, determination and that look that said Naboo's brave child-queen was not going to stop until she got her way. She did well, Ahsoka supposed. She was managing to cover up her pain somewhat.
Still, Ahsoka began to whimper, "No." Visions curled in her eyesight, but Padmé slipping her hand across the teen's back and bringing her to a stand pushed them away.
Padmé smiled wanly, somehow, at the girl, "Please. Do you think I could carry you right now?" Ahsoka glanced at the woman's tear-stained face, and didn't respond. Together, they staggered into the hangar and Padmé helped her onto a cot slowly. Ahsoka didn't really look at her, but she could tell Padmé was crying, no matter how she tried to hide it.
Ahsoka tried to be strong, but the frozen sensation in her body made it hard to really think about much of anything. Still, Padmé was probably hurting more than her…except she didn't have the Force, and the Master-Padawan bond straining desperately ever time Vader chopped down another victim. But the Padawan stumbled over to the copilot's seat, noticing that Padmé, for some odd reason, had taken 3PO, and sat down.
"Go back there." Padmé ordered, distracted.
Ahsoka drew in a shaky breath. She was being ridiculous, or so she tried to tell herself, but every moment grated her nerves, "No. Padmé…I'm sorry. I shouldn't be like this…it probably hurts you more."
Padmé turned a stern eye on the younger girl. "Maybe we can get him back, Ahsoka. I don't believe this. I just can't."
Ahsoka shook her head, eyes on the stars as they rushed past. Managing to stand back up, because she knew Padmé wouldn't listen – after all, how could she? – And Ahsoka started to walk back to the cot, noticing her step was surer.
Hours of sleep later, Ahsoka saw the flaming red planet come into view. She felt Vader's deadly presence, and felt herself start to slip back into that scarlet world…but she stayed awake. There was no way she could possibly go see Vader like this, and at any rate, Padmé seemed to know and never asked.
AN: Maybe a little too emotional, but I didn't know how else to do this. And I had a hard time starting this, but it got easier to write.
The sequel is going to be set during the Empire. I've got an idea on how that'll go, but so far the only thing I know for sure is the ending. :) But, after all, the original version of this started out in my mind of Ahsoka crashing a starfighter on some planet and getting stuck there for the time of ROTS. Then I changed my mind…so, I think this way was a lot better.