Chapter 15

The Boarding House was empty when I arrived, as expected. Stefan and Caroline had vanished, Damon had turned back halfway up the road. It was just me. And Katherine of course.

Irony is a wonderful thing, isn't it?

No, not really.

You have to admit, it's almost poetic. I switch it off, you switch it on.

I didn't switch it on. It just came.

That's the beauty of it. You can't turn them back off. You have to feel...for the first time in your life.

You sound like you're enjoying this. Which is impossible obviously.

People with emotions are so high and mighty about them.

Did you know this would happen?

Paranoia and suspicion? This is even better than I thought.

Shut up. Did you?

How could I? You're the one with several centuries behind you.

Then why is it happening? I don't want this.

And you always said I don't have fun. I suppose it's part of the legacy. Some balancing measure. If I don't feel emotion, you do. When I did, you didn't.

It never happened with Taita.

She was never a vampire. Besides, she was crazy. Might not have had emotions to turn off or on.

This is terrible. This is wrong.

Oh don't whine so much.

"You can't lose hope, Stefan." Caroline called after him. He was striding briskly down the street away from her. "She's still in there."

"And she's never coming out!" He snapped. "Why would she? Why would she want to face all that pain?"

"Everyone does eventually. She can't bury it forever."

"And what then, Caroline?" Stefan almost shouted. "She'll go and find Damon? Tell him how much she loves him?"

"She'll..." Caroline stopped. She didn't know what Elena would do. "Where are we going?"

"The Grill. I need a drink, and the Boarding House is...occupied."

"Do you need a place to stay? I've got some space."

"I'll...find somewhere."

"Rubbish. A comfortable bed and some rest is what you need. It'll be better in the morning." She smiled brightly, hoping he'd return it. His half-hearted attempt didn't reach his eyes.

"How are you still so positive?"

"Hope. There's always hope. C'mon, let's go to my place. A bar isn't the place for you right now."

We succeeded. Elena doesn't love me. It's the way it was supposed to be. Why do I feel like shit?

Damon wasn't sure whether he wanted to drown his sorrows or smash something. In the end he decided a distraction was necessary. He needed work. There wasn't likely to be a shortage of that with half of Mystic Falls' teenagers witnesses to some pretty disturbing stuff. None would actually remember being bitten, but there was still the issue of all the neck wounds. Some of those kids' parents are members of the council.

I need to speak to Liz. Her house? Of course not, she'll be at the office.

He headed deeper into town along the desolate streets. There was little traffic on the roads, and no pedestrians, but as expected, he found Liz Forbes at the police station working late again.

"Evening Sheriff." He smirked, walking into her office where she was pouring over reports.

"Damon? What time is it? Are you drunk?"

"It's after midnight, and no, I'm sober."
"What do you need at this hour then?"

"May I sit? It's been a long night."

"Yeah, sure. What's happened?"

"We might have a small problem."

"Small?"

"Maybe big."

"Oh shit. What did you do?"

"There was a bit of a complication at the party in the woods. People were bitten. Minds erased. Panic, screaming. That sort of thing."

"What kind of panic?"

"Just general I-have-an-unexplained-neck-wound kind of thing. Long story short, there are going to be some concerned parents tonight, and some of them will recognise the bite marks."

"What the hell happened? It wasn't you, was it? Don't you stick to blood bags?"

"I...might have contributed."

"Damn it Damon! Aren't you smarter than this? Couldn't you have exercised some caution?"
"It wasn't all me. That's the other part."

"Then who?"

"It's Elena, she's switched off her humanity. She's dangerous. To everyone."

"Elena? Hurt people? Surely not."

"Listen to me Liz, as much as we might dislike it, from now on it'll be safer to put nothing past her."

"I don't know how this works, but can you make her turn it back on?"

"Afraid not, she has to do it herself. Stefan and I are working on that."
"What do you need me for then?"

"Keep the council off our backs. Let me know if anyone needs compulsion."

"They're all on vervain, Damon. It'll take time."

"Then the sooner we start, the better."

This is a bad idea.

Don't ruin the fun. I thought you'd be happy to see Stefan.

What do you want with him?

Fun.

The morning was cold and grey, it could definitely do with some livening up. I grinned, and knocked on Caroline's door. She answered in a dressing gown holding a cup of coffee.

"What do you want?" She said coarsely.

"You're so hospitable. Where'd Stefan go, I'm bored." I barged past her into the house.

"It's early, Elena."

"You saw him last night, where'd he go?" She paused for a moment before admitting.

"He stayed here."

"Ooh." I smirked at her, while she avoided my gaze. "No wonder you're so sleepy."

"Nothing happened. He needed a bed to crash in." As she spoke, Stefan himself appeared, wearing his creased clothes from yesterday.

"Speak of the devil." I said. "Care and I were just talking about your sleepover. Who won the pillow fight?"

"What's she doing here?" He asked Caroline, sounding tired.

"I came to see you. I'm bored."

"I don't want to see you. Please leave."

See? I told you.

"Also, Katherine asked me to tell you how cute you look before you've had your coffee."
"What?"

Stop it. You're embarrassing me.

I know.

"Yeah, funny thing happened when I switched off my humanity; Katherine's was forced back on."

"So you've got Katherine for a conscience? No wonder you've gone mad."

"Did you even hear me? Katherine's emotions are back on. It's hilarious, she's rediscovered her love for you." Stefan paused, and looked closely at me, searching for a sign of falsity. Caroline shifted uneasily beside him.

"Katherine was a bad person even before she became a vampire. Emotions don't change that."

Oh well, looks like your undying love is doomed to be forever one sided.

You don't have to be so smug about it.

"You should hear her, Stefan. It's adorable. You probably should have been nicer to her before she died."

"What are you playing at, Elena?"

"Fine, I'll tell you." I said dramatically, laying the back of my hand against my forehead and sighing. "Her eternal love has moved me deeply. I couldn't stand to let the injustice of it all stand."

"Go away, Elena. You're obviously beyond my help."

"Oh but, Stefan! 'Tis not I who needs your help. 'Tis fair Katherine, doomed to see you through my eyes and love you unconditionally."

Did I do you justice?

I hate you. He hates me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What can I say?" I smirked. "I'm an Austen fan."

"Is this your new idea of fun? Torturing me?"

"Don't be so self-centred. I'm actually torturing Katherine. Can I take a message for her?"

"A message?"

"Sure. Any words for your not-so-secret admirer?"

"No. But if what you've said is true, you make me wish she could actually take control of you." I chuckled coldly.

"See? You and Katherine already have something in common."

See? Progress.

"What are you trying to achieve? Do you want me to fall madly in love with a dead vampire trapped in your head?"

"No, that's what Katherine wants."

"Oh shut up." His face resembled a rumbling storm cloud.

"So...no message for her after all?"

"Actually yes. Tell her to drive you insane. Is that possible, or did your sanity already go with your emotions?"

A reply for Stefan?

Tell him I'm sorry.

For what?

Just sorry.

Smart move, Stefan always did have a soft spot for that soppy stuff.

Just tell him.

"Katherine says she's sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Just sorry." Stefan face softened slightly, but he gritted his teeth again when he saw my mocking grin.

"You've satisfied your morbid humour, now you can leave."

"Fine, I'm going. I feel a bit peckish." I rubbed my stomach and smirked, before giving Caroline a wink. "Better watch out, Care. Katherine's got her eye on your crush."

I think we made some serious headway. Sure, Caroline has him in her house, but Stefan obviously has a thing for you.

He won't forgive me. That's only partly your fault.

My fault? I'm the one with the real Stefan-experience hear. I'll have him eating our of your hand before the week's done.

You mean your hand?

Perhaps.

This is your bid to control Stefan?

Control him? Of course not. If I wanted that I'd just pretend to have turned my humanity back on. He'd come begging.

Then why tell him about me? He didn't have to know how I feel.

I wanted a reaction. Completely worth it.

I'm the voice in your head. I'm supposed to torture you.

But you can't, because there's nothing you have to make me feel sad. Besides, you probably feel pity for me, don't you?

Yes. You don't see it, but you need all the pity you can get.

I don't care about what other people think I need anymore.

I turned and walked up the pathway to the Gilbert home. Not my home anymore. Does that mean I'm not a Gilbert anymore? Of course it does. I never was a Gilbert.

Doesn't that make you sad?

No. Truth is truth. You emotional folk should try facing it more often.

Emotions are what make life worth living. Emotions give us dreams. You may as well be a plank of wood.

Do you know the story of Pinocchio?

Yes.

Let me sum it up for you anyway. There's a little puppet who really is made of wood, but he's alive. He's emotional. And he has a dream.

You could take a hint from him.

But do you know what? He's a puppet. He has strings attached to him which make him dance. But he manages to get rid of them. He becomes a real boy, and everything is wonderful. It's a terribly sad story.

Why is that?

Because the little wooden boy never gets rid of the strings. Even when he is no longer made if wood, his emotions are still there. And he still dances, he dances for everyone. For the rest of his life, people make him dance. All because of his emotions.

Katherine didn't reply.