[I'm really sorry about the age long delay. Don't worry, the story is far from over] -Rubaiyat

Chapter 17

"Even if you are right," Caroline replied, watching Stefan sip at his coffee. "That doesn't mean we should give up. It's a switch; it can be turned back on."

"By her. She won't do it. I don't know how to make her do it. The only Elena I know is compassionate and loving. I knew how she thought, how she made her choices. I could talk to her, and she would listen. Not any more."

"We have to stay positive. Show her how good emotions can really be. She's only remembering the pain and guilt. Besides, worst case scenario; she carries on like this for a century or two before turning it back on the way all vampires do. Then you'll be together again." Caroline smiled at him, managing to coax a small one out in return.

"I wish I was a good at it as you. She's right, I'm too broody."

"No, she's wrong." Caroline insisted. "She was trying to get into your head. Don't let her get the better of us. Think of everything we've been through, everyone we've faced; Katherine, werewolves, Originals. Heck, even Damon at one point. Elena's only a young vampire without her humanity. We've beaten enemies far more dangerous than her."

"So its come to this? Elena is our enemy?"

"I suppose so."

"Its a disturbing thought. She was always the one we were protecting. From the beginning, Elena's been the glue."

"Well now we'll just have to show her that we can stick together just fine without her."

"Can we? Look at Damon; he was practically her accomplice. And Bonnie only ever helped because Elena was her friend. What if she tears us apart?"

"She can't. Even Bonnie and Damon know that Elena was better before she flipped the switch. They'll fight to fix her as well."

Slowly but surely Caroline felt she was building Stefan up. He was beginning to look less depressed.

Right now, hope is our best weapon.

Her thought was interrupted by a knock at the door. She opened it cautiously, and narrowed her eyes when she saw Elena standing there.

"Bored already, Elena?" She spat.

"Caroline...you have to listen to me. It's me, Katherine. I don't know how much time I have."

Stefan set down his coffee and took his place at Caroline's shoulder.

"Enough games, Elena." He said angrily. "You've had your fun."

"I'm not lying, Stefan!" She pleaded. Caroline frowned at the desperation in her voice. "Bonnie did something, Elena was harrassing her and Jeremy. She blasted Elena onto the lawn. I broke free somehow!"

"Let me guess, we should believe every word you say." Caroline said dryly.

"I don't know if it will last, Stefan." Elena said. "This was not supposed to happen. It never did with Taita. I had to speak to you before she comes back."

"Well then speak." Stefan said, folding his arms and glaring at her. "But remeber that it's a bit late to try pretending to be Katherine again."

"I know you owe me nothing. I know I'm asking a lot, but let me try to apologise. I haven't had my emotions on in more than a century. I know I ruined your life, more than once, but I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Stefan looked taken aback. Caroline was scrutinising the tears running down Elena or Katherine's face with skepticism. Elena had already demonstrated a knack for playing pretend.

"I suppose you can't prove it?" Caroline said coolly.

"No."

"That's what I thought."

"Why did you come here?" Stefan asked.

"It wasn't a mistake, Stefan. I didn't choose you in 1864 arbitrarily. You meant something. I loved you. I still do, I just didn't know it, and it scared me. That's all I can say."

She turned and began to walk away again. Caroline glanced sharply at Stefan, and noted the conflict written across his face. She shut the door slowly.

Neither saw Katherine collapse halfway down the path back to the road.

As adorable as your little outburst was, you've crossed a line, Katherine.

I sent the thought to her as I stood and dusted myself off. The experience had been most unpleasant. I would have to make sure it never happened again.

Now you know how it feels.

It won't happen again.

How do you know?

Because if it does, I'll make sure you regret it.

How?

I'll turn my emotions back on.

No you won't. You like being this way.

Alternatively, I could just kill Stefan. That would do the trick.

You wouldn't dare.

We both know that's not true.

You bitch!

That's what I thought.

I curled a finger through my hair as I considered my next move. Bonnie had proved too unpredictable to try reason with. Stefan and Caroline were plotting, I was sure of it. They'd make a move against me soon, even if Stefan believed Katherine. Katherine herself was a pain in the arse, but if I played it right, she could be useful in manipulating Stefan. Caroline could also be useful, but that would be much more delicate, especially if she continued to spend so much time with Stefan.

I smiled. The fun was only just beginning.

"Finally, you're home." I groaned as Damon walked into the Boarding House.

"You've been waiting?" He raised an eyebrow, and I saw the hint of a smile. He could be charming even when he knew I felt nothing for him.

"For hours." I stretched out on the couch and yawned. "Stefan and Caroline weren't interested in fun. They seem to think war is on the way."

"Is it?" He asked, pouring himself a drink without looking away from me.

"A war on boredom perhaps. They're just being melodramatic. No one around here is any fun anymore. We should be celebrating. Enjoying it all."

Damon sighed contentedly and sat on the couch opposite. He looked at me thoughtfully, tilting his head ever so slightly. I made sure to smile sweetly back.

"Personally I'm having a blast. Now that you seem to have gotton past your teething problems, I can finally rest my tired bones."

"Oh you're full of shit, Damon Salvatore." I laughed, and tossed a pillow at him which he easily knocked aside. "I know as well as you that idleness doesn't suit you. You can't wait for me to stir things up around here."

"I remember it well," Damon smiled, looking out the window. "With no emotions, we all look to fill the void. Usually with blood, but hey."

"Oh don't worry, there'll be plenty of that too. Think about it Damon. Klaus is dead. Tyler is dead. All of the the distractons are dead. It'll be like old times, except this time I'll be there to share the excitement." I smiled slyly at him.

"I doubt that. Bonnie's still here. She won't let you run rampant for long. Not to mention Stefan, Caroline and the Council, who aren't too happy about the kids we ate at the party."

I waved my hand dismissively.

"Bonnie's on thin ice already. She's lucky I can't get into her hidey-hole, but she can't sit behind that door forever. The Council can be as vigilant as they want, but the Sherriff will keep them at bay, for Caroline's sake."

"What about Stefan and Barbie?"

"They'll provide half the fun. Its only exciting if there's risk."

"True, but the less enjoyable part is being locked up under the Boarding House without blood."

"You were on your own back then." I said. "This time we're playing in teams. So, are you in?"

He examined his glass for a while, watching the ice melt in the amber liquid. After a long pause, he replied.

"I don't get you, Elena." It was a simple statement, without accusation or question.

"What's not to get."

"What do you want? You're dead set on leaving the past behind. Everything since you flipped the switch, and yet here you are trying to rewind the clock to when I was living loose in Mystic Falls with Stefan vowing revenge every hour or so."

I thought for several moments. Did I know what I wanted? Did it matter? Damon obviously expected an answer, not an evasion.

"Just because I'm dead, doesn't mean I don't get to live. I'm free, and I plan on making use of it."

"I get the feeling you mean more than just free of guilt."

"Oh yes, and it's liberating. I'm free of responsibility for everyone else. I don't have to try protect them any more. I'm free of all the things I thought were good true. Because truth is overated and goodness is a fantasy."

"Sounds depressing."

"Its the opposite."

"That's because you can't feel sad."

"Most importantly though, I'm free of fear. I can't even remember what I was scared of."

"And so you want to experience the freedom?"

"I want to live the freedom."

"You'll regret it later, when the dream ends and you see the corpses left behind."

"Do you know what else I'm free of?"

"What?"

"Advise. Suggestions. People telling me how to live. I'm free to make mistakes."

"Wouldn't you prefer to avoid the mistakes?"

"Teaching me about your mistakes doesn't mean I've learnt your lesson. I want it all. It's my right."

For a few seconds Damon let the silence hang, and his gaze shifted from his drink back to me. I returned the stare seriously.

"You know what?" He said suddenly, tossing the now empty glass behind him and standing abruptly. "Let's go live."

There were still several hours before the sun would fall below the horizon, so we walked and chatted through the town waiting for night to descend. Damon seemed to be enjoying the freedom as well.

"She took control? I thought that was supposed to be impossibe."

"It was, but as usual, Bonnie interferred."

"How'd you regain control?"

"I don't know. It's like a whirlpool inside my head, sucking us both under until one manages to surface. After running to Stefan she was sucked below again."

"Can she come back?"

"I threatened her. If she doesn't fight, I should be fine. If she does," I paused, and clenched my fist. "I'll deal with her. After all, this is my body. That has to count for something."

"Magic." Damon rolled his eyes. "What a pain."

"Too true." I agreed. "What did Liz say?"

"She was...surprised. Worried obviously, but practical. She'll make sure the rest of the Council don't try anything, or at least warn us if they do."

"And me?"

"She was a little...disappointed." He said carefully.

"Oh? Didn't think I had it in me?"

"Hoped you didn't is more accurate. It's happened before though. She reckons that if Mystic Falls could survive Stefan losing it, you shouldn't be too bad."

I brushed a rogue strand of hair from my eyes and smiled softly.

"That sounds like a challenge."

Damon didn't reply.

"Isn't this a bit rash?" Stefan asked as Caroline dragged him out the door.

"No. The more time we give Elena to wander freely, the more people she can hurt."

We should have grabbed "Katherine" when she was here earlier.

Caroline had thought about it afterwards, but Stefan didn't seem in any condition to do it. Whether he believed her or not was a mystery, but the encounter had clearly shaken him. Exactly what Elena would have wanted. It grated at Caroline that Elena seemed to have so much control, in more ways than one. She had a hold on almost everyone, but she was also so calm. Caroline herself felt tense at the thought of what was to come.

"So we just go and fetch her? How? What next?"

"We go and speak to my mother first, and then we act as though we think she's still Katherine. If it works, she'll play the part and we can get close enough to break her neck. Problem solved."

"What if it actually is still Katherine?"

He believed her. Unbelievable.

"Then she shouldn't put up a fight." Caroline had to admit, it was the perfect plan. She felt proud to have thought of it.

Elena seems to enjoy acting so much, let's use it against her.

Look at you, Damon. Here you are, living in a deeper dream than Elena, trying to ignore the fact that she's dangerous and ruthless. And why?

The answer to that question was as infuriating as it was obvious. And yet Elena seemed happy. She certainly seemed safe. In a way, he'd succeeded. Did it excuse him for what he was doing? No, but Elena had reminded him that he hadn't used to care about good and bad, so why should he now?

He could hardly see the tar on the road as they strode down the empty road, arm in arm. He knew that the first person they happened upon would most likely die. He hadn't decided whether to care yet. Thinking was such a pain, it complicated everything.

What's worse than a vampire with no emotions bent on destruction? That's easy; a vampire with emotions doing the same thing. That's me. Here I am, with the woman I've loved despite my best efforts. She doesn't love me anymore, but I'd be just like her if I switched it off too. We'd be together. Except that if I did, I wouldn't love her anymore either.

"Stop." Elena suddenly said. Damon paused in confusion, cutting his thoughts off mid stampede. Elena had a furious expression painted across her face.

"What's wrong?"

"Stop." She repeated. It didn't look like she'd heard him. Her eyes were looking at thin air. "Don't even think about it."

"Elena?" He asked, perplexed.

"I swear it, Katherine. Don't you dare."

She's talking to Katherine. Aloud?

"I'll kill him. I'll rip his throat out. And you'll watch." Elena's expression became pained. Her eyes scrunched up and she raised one hand to her temple.

"What's she doing? What can I do? Elena!" Damon tried to shake her shoulder, but she knocked his hand off with sudden ferocity.

"You can't beat me, Katherine. I'm in control. You're the invader." She slowly relaxed her face, and her vision sharpened.

"Are you alright?" Damon asked again, not sure who he might be speaking to.

"Yes, I won. Katherine tried to take control, but luckily it isn't that simple."

"This isn't good, Elena. What if next time you fail? If she manages to win, she may as well have come back to life!"

"That won't happen. I'm stronger than her."

"Is there anything else we can do?"

"Bonnie. She's the only one, but I need you to talk to her. She won't listen to me. Tell her it'll help bring back my humanity or something. Say it's urgent."

"What'll you do?"

"I'll meet you back at the Boarding House."

Damon had disappeared in the direction of Bonnie's Gram's House. The path back to the Boarding House was deserted.

You failed.

You won't kill Stefan.

Is that a challenge?

I stopped suddenly when I saw Caroline and Stefan step into the street ahead. Caroline's face was stern and determined. Stefan looked unsure. I hadn't expected them to come after me so soon.

Looks like I won't even have to find Stefan myself. This will be fun.

I smiled darkly at the thought of exacting revenge on Katherine. It would be sweet indeed.

NO!

The thought tore into my mind with such violence I almost stumbled. Before I could react, Katherine was once again yanking on my consciousness, trying to drag me under. The force this time was amplified by her desperation and fear. She was positively in a frenzy. My last thought drifted through moments before I felt myself slip into the abyss, and tumble into darkness.

I will kill him...