Chapter 24:

Her Story

N.E.W.T.s were finally started to be taken. Everyone was working hard on their homework and studying and the stress was driving everyone insane. This was the last they would be here in Hogwarts and it was hard to enjoy their last few months with the N.E.W.T.s looming over their heads

Ginny couldn't help her nerves when someone told her they were to perform the actual spells to show just what they really know. She knew she could do it, but the thought of having to be pressured to do it at a certain time made her feel scared of failing.

Kalya hadn't shown any signs of stress, out of all of the friends she was still smiling and laughing. Ginny knew she could be hiding her stress under her happiness that she had kept so much hidden under before. She wished she could pretend to be happy to keep other's from worrying.

The group sat in the Head Common room the night before the tests, all of them cramming in homework and studying. The group now consisted of Ginny, Kalya, Colin, Denis, Roslyn, Lillian, Martha, Jade, Blair, Emily and Damien. Kalya however was in her room at the moment. She had got up and left about an hour ago and no one knew why she wasn't back yet.

"Colin, do you have Kalya's password," Ginny asked.

"I think it's 'Hear my soul speak. The very instant I saw you, did my heart fly to your service'," He tried, the wall staying unmoved he blinked, "well, maybe she changed it."

"Do you know of anything else it could be," Ginny looked at him.

"Whoa, you guys use sentences and not just two words," Roslyn looked curiously at Colin.

"It's a safety thing. I think maybe, 'But to see her was the love her, love but her, and love her forever'."

The wall sprung to life and slid across and all the curious on looks stared in awe at the beautiful room that lay within. A door on the right side opened and a very naked Kalya walked out of her bathroom. Kalya blinked and her eyes went wide moments before Ginny rushed into the room and the wall closed.

"I didn't know you were showering," Ginny blushed.

"I didn't know you would come looking for me," Kalya laughed.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it; I'm confident enough in myself that it doesn't matter if my friends saw me."

Ginny threw away thoughts of studying and homework and moved forward to Kalya. Kalya had always been the one to take control and lead her to pleasure. She felt that she had been shy long enough, knowing what she wanted she was going to go for it.

Kalya backed up and fell backward onto the bed when Ginny backed her to it. Ginny smiled and kissed her, their tongues dancing for dominance. Ginny ran her hands down Kalya's exposed flesh. She began kissing down her body, only one thought in mind, pleasing her fiancé.

It was an hour later that the two girls walked back into the common room with pleased smiles on their faces. They both sat down and Ginny began studying and working again. She felt like her hand was going to fall off and the teachers didn't seem to care.

"That was a long time for you two to just be in there talking," Jade teased.

"Would you even believe us if we said we did a lot more then talk," Kalya laughed.

"That's something we never asked about, have you two been physically together," Roslyn blushed.

"It was our first anniversary, the year of the war," Ginny nodded.

"How the heck could you find time to do that when all the Death Eaters where in school," Lillian asked.

"We just used the room of requirement," Kalya stated.

"Kalya was Ginny your first," Martha asked.

Everyone in the room went silent and their eyes all fell on Kalya who was blushing at the thought of having everyone's undivided attention.

"Yes she was," Kalya smiled, honesty showing in her eyes.

"Really? I thought you had at least had someone else before me," Ginny had never asked the question cause she really hadn't wanted to hear she wasn't Kalya's first.

"I was too afraid to with Emily and I didn't date anyone between her and moving here."

"It's true, we never did anything other than closed mouth kisses," Emily nodded.

"How did you know what to do," Lillian blushed, she really wanted to know.

"I just wanted to please her; it pretty much just came naturally."

"I was nervous and almost asked her to stop, afraid to go that far, but something just felt right I couldn't bring myself to want to stop," Ginny admitted.

"We both just felt it was right at the time and we wanted it. You kind of just let go and suddenly it's like you know what you should do even without ever doing it."

They turned back to their work. The subject was dropped knowing that it was making some of them uncomfortable. Kalya started to wonder around the room, her eyes just searching everything. She already knew this room like the back of her hand, but she didn't know what else to do.

"Kalya you're making me nervous, why are you wondering around the room like that," Colin asked.

"I don't know what else to do."

"So you're just going to walk around like a chicken with its head cut off?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Study or do homework."

"I don't have any homework and if I study any more I'm going to go crazy."

"How do you not have homework," Denis asked, "even I have homework and I'm in sixth year!"

"I did it all, it's all finished and in my bag. I have nothing else to do but study and I have a headache from it all. I was in the shower trying to calm down from all the pain."

"Why don't you take a potion," Jade asked.

Kalya paled, her face dropped and the icy mask she hadn't worn since last year was on her face. She sat down in an arm chair, her eyes dark and dull, and her face void of emotion.

"What did I say," Jade whispered.

Ginny moved over and touched Kalya's shoulder gently. The girl jumped and moved quickly away from Ginny's touch and in her haste found herself tripped and her butt on the ground cowering from Ginny. Her breath had quickened and her face hadn't changed.

"Kalya what's going on?"

She snapped out of it, her whole body shaking. A look of shame written all over her face as if she had done something she wasn't supposed to.

"Kalya tell me what's wrong."

"A couple weeks ago I started having nightmares, so I started taking a potion to get rid of them. That potion no matter how much you take will not harm you physically and it normally holds the nightmares at bay."

"But," Ginny prompted.

"It wasn't working. They were getting worse. I was having them every night instead of once every few nights. I couldn't concentrate, I wasn't sleeping right and I was falling in sleep in class."

"What's going on," Damien whispered to his girlfriend.

"We will explain in a second," Martha whispered back.

"I'm sorry, Ginny," Kalya started to cry.

"What are you sorry for," Ginny asked.

"I started taking Sleepless Drought."

Ginny felt the panic almost clinch her neck closed she moved forward, "How long?"

"A week."

She grabbed the other girl's left arm and pulled it out, she pushed the left sleeve up and the only thing that greeted her was clear undisturbed skin.

"Remove it."

"Ginny, I…"

"Remove the concealment charm! I thought I felt magic against my body when I kissed and touched your arm. Remove it."

Kalya moved her right arm and the charm fell. Her left arm wasn't bloody but it was littered with nail marks all over starting from the wrist all the way to the elbow. Ginny couldn't stop the shock and pain at seeing huge cut marks that were obviously made with a knife. She was sure there was only an inch or two of skin covering the bone.

"I started taking the drought because if I didn't I woke up finding myself attacking my arm. My nightmares, they seem so real and in my sleep I rip and pull at my skin, I even conjured up a knife one night."

"Why didn't you tell me," Ginny asked, "Why didn't you just heal it?"

"I didn't want to put more on you until after the N.E.W.T.s were over. I know I could heal it, but I didn't know if I should or if I should keep them to show you later."

Another small movement of Kalya's right hand and the cuts were gone replaced by healthy flesh without a concealment charm.

"Why must you hide all of this from me? I want to be there to help you," Ginny cried.

"I didn't think you would want to hear my dreams. We never talk about my life last year or anything that happened; I didn't think you would want to hear dreams that are just like it."

"You never speak of it. You say you don't want to say."

"I did, right after the war and you never asked again."

Ginny blinked. She was right. She had only asked once afraid if she asked more than that she would hurt Kalya's feelings for trying to intrude on such a subject.

"Tell me then, tell me everything."

They sat down on the couch together; Ginny was gripping her hand and looking at her pale face.

"Do you all want to hear it too?"

"If you will let us," Blair nodded as did the others.

"It started when Draco went to Dumbledore for help. Voldemort wanted to recruit Draco, the son of his best follower. Dumbledore said unless Draco wanted to go into pure hiding the only thing he could do was help Draco become a spy for the white side.

Draco decided to go through with it, and I told him I wanted to be there. I went with him. Voldemort told him that he wanted him to be on his side but to prove his faith he had to kill Dumbledore. I could feel the panic begin inside me. I didn't want him to kill anyone, and more so not Dumbledore.

I stepped forward and told him that I had Dumbledore under my thumb and I would make a great spy, if Draco didn't have to kill him, I could milk Dumbledore for information that would make the war turn in their favor. He went through my memories and he smiled evilly and told me that I had a deal.

The pain from mark being burnt into my skin was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I bit my tongue and I stopped myself from crying out. I didn't want him to see me be weak. I needed to show him that no matter how much pain he dished out I could take it.

That's when he smirked, having read my thoughts and he derived a new call, a call that would signal only my mark that would cause pain equal to the Cruciatus curse. Every time he called, red hot pain would spread through my arm. The only relief I had was digging the effected skin from my arm.

Removing the mark or tampering with its appearance was defiance to the Dark Lord and I was tortured constantly. He said it was a way to break me so I would bend to his will easier.

Two weeks after Christmas break that year I told Ginny everything that had happened and she accepted me. She told me she would be there for me and I was so happy, but going back to my common room I bumped into Snape who told me after a few harsh words that Dumbledore needed me.

Draco had been missing after a visit to Voldemort and it was time that I took a Sleepless Drought and went and found him. I found him, beaten nearly to death for not killing a muggle. I brought him back to the hospital wing. That morning I kind of snapped at Hermione for taking my potion.

I needed it to function and I know a smart girl like her would put two and two together and she did. She figured out that I had been going days without sleeping, I needed more and more of the potion to stay awake and it was killing me to do it.

They found me later trying to find a cure for a curse that was placed on Draco. It was a spell that held open the skin and they couldn't stop the bleeding. I let slip that I'm an unregistered animagus. I'm a fox actually. All black with green eyes, my eyes are actually my tall tell sign that it's me.

I healed Draco and I fainted for a moment. I was able to wake up for a little but I couldn't hold my eyes open anymore. Ginny told me that my mark was reveled and the Trio didn't approve. Her mother didn't either and told her she couldn't see me anymore, believing I was bad even when Dumbledore said I was good.

I got an owl, saying that I was a dirty disgusting Death Eater and I wasn't allowed to see Ginny, ever and if I knew what was best for myself I would stay away from her daughter or I would end up in Azkaban with a life sentence. I avoided the hall. I got call after call, going to meetings with Voldemort, getting beaten for not listening or doing as I was told.

One night I was forced to kill a man who was a Death Eater and failed to do what he was told by Voldemort. I killed him, as a lesson to teach me that disobeying will only get me killed faster, but the lesson didn't sink in till two more men had died at my hands for disobeying Voldmort.

Finally I broke. One night they brought in a group of muggles. All of them pledging for their lives, their faces filled with fear and shock. One by one they raped the girls and killed them and tortured the guys. I had to stand and watch. They were down to the last muggle.

They wanted to draw it out, and for ten minutes I listened to the man scream on and off as they used the Cruciatus curse on him. Over and over his body bent and his mouth opened in screams. When they stopped he looked me in the face and he begged me to let him go.

I knew they would never let him go, never let him just walk out of there. The pain and fear I could see was stabbing at my heart and I couldn't stand it. I didn't want him to suffer anymore. I wanted him to stop hurting. They hit him again and when he was able to speak he asked me to kill him.

He wanted me to spare him of the pain and just get it over with. I began to cry, tears pouring from my face and it caught the attention of the other Death Eaters who were about to beat me for showing weakness and I grabbed my wand. A flash of green light and his soulless eyes were open staring at me.

I couldn't believe what I had done. The others didn't harm me, praising me for using the killing curse when I had refused to use on anyone other than Death Eaters. I put my wand away and my face turned to ice. I could feel my emotions just leaving.

My soul broke into pieces and I could feel the happiness just fade from me. The pain magnified and I stopped speaking. My voice was broken just like my soul. Voldemort however just took to reading my memories, which were guarded well, and he was only able to see what I wanted him to see.

I remember Valentine's Day and sharing a long kiss with Ginny before summer that year. I remember the pain and the hurt that I felt when we parted for what was supposed to be three months, but only ended up being a month. I came back to them, and Dumbledore explained to the family.

I also took Viratruth Serum and answered any questions any of them had, no matter what the question was and I finally got their trust back. Well, most of them. I at least had Ginny back because her father believed me. It was a nice change in my life at that point.

One afternoon I was called upon during a meal and I remember the look on everyone's face as they watched me rip into my skin as the mark spread its pain through me. After we had made it through the meeting the mark was still burning and I ended up punching a window and shattering glass into it.

That was also the first time I ever told Ginny I loved her to her face. I had told so many people that I loved her, but it was the first time I was able to actually tell her myself without feeling nervous or scared of the reaction because I knew she loved me too.

Then there was the new school year. I was to play Death Eater all day everyday till the final battle. It wasn't long into school till I had all you girls thinking I was a Death Eater. I had to fake using the Cruciatus curse on Ginny in order for the other Slytherins to leave her alone.

I put my neck on the line everyday in order to make the others think I was bad while trying to save the students they were trying to punish. I used low grade spells while saying a different incantation. I made it look like I was the darkest of them all when it came to punishment but I never used the spells they thought I did.

Then I remember taking Ginny to the room of requirement to celebrate our one year anniversary alone. It was an amazing night but we ran close to curfew. I was late by five minutes for the head count and Snape covered my butt and in his favor I saved his life by switching the drink he was suppose to get with one of my own.

The final battle came and I remember feeling fear when I noticed Ginny fighting. I was trying to stay near here in hopes that she would be safe if I could do so. However, that wasn't the plan and I ended up getting pushed away from her and into a group of fighting Death Eaters.

I saw Lucius Malfoy's face as he smiled his dark smile, his wand raised and I heard the words no one ever wanted to hear. The green light came toward me and suddenly I felt squishing feeling of apparition. When I woke up I was lying in the grass of my old America school.

My body was harmed; it was one huge bruise with cuts all over. I was able to get to the school and transported to the hospital. They said because no one is able to do long distance apparition like that, I was strong enough to keep all my body parts but my skin was harmed in the transfer instead.

I healed and I wanted to come back, but branded a Death Eater I was to wait till my hearing to be allowed to return to England. After my hearing I was freed because I was innocent. Everything was cleared from my record and I was able to take the potion to rid me of my mark.

I still dream about those people. The ones I killed with my own hands. Their faces as they realized what I was about to do. The looks of their body as it crumpled to the floor after their life had left them. I have been having nightmares of all the ones I've seen die, all the girls I've seen raped and murdered and all the men I've seen tortured till death.

My heart goes out to them and my mind is burnt with the memories of their faces as they struggled for their lives to no avail due to being non-magical. I want to go back and help them, to save them all and rescue them from ever being found but then other people would have been found in their place.

Draco tells me he suffers from it all too, but there is nothing more we can do but move forward with our lives and make sure we never forget the muggles, witches, and wizards that died before, during, and after the war."

"I never knew you went through so much," Emily frowned.

"You seemed so strong," Damien admitted, "we never even knew something was wrong. All we saw was a girl who took up the normal Slytherin like attitude."

"It would have been easier getting through everything had we known all of this was going on," Ginny added.

"Why stress you guys when you didn't need to be," Kalya shrugged, "It was what had to happen and I knew that. I moved forward with my life and decided I was going to do whatever I could even if I hurt unbearably from it."

"Well, we are here now and we are going to make the best of it," Colin vowed.

The group stayed up late into the night talking, studying and everything in between before they all found a spot somewhere and fell asleep on the floor or couches. Tomorrow they would have to face the hardest tests they would ever have to do, but tonight they would sleep away in peace.