Chapter Eight | What I'm Afraid Of

'Troubles are a lot like babies - they grow bigger if you nurse them.' – Author Unknown

"Thank God the baby is all right," Norm said the next day in the royal's lounge to Jake. The royal's lounge was near Jake and Neytiri's section of Hometree, and only Mo'at, Neytiri, Jake and Norm were allowed there. Max would be too, when his Avatar was mature enough to drive.

Jake sighed and placed his head in his hands. Norm looked at his friend with concern. "What's wrong?"

Jake sighed. "I'm just worried."

Norm raised an eyebrow. "But the baby is fine. Why are you worried?"

Jake got out of the chair he had been sitting in and looked at Norm, but not directly at first. "That's not why I'm worried." He hesitated. "Can I tell you something?"

Norm chuckled. "You make this sound like high school," he pointed out. "But sure?"

Jake sighed and looked away. "When we heard about Kiyeri's fall... I didn't care."

Norm was somewhat shocked by this. "But you seemed like you – "

"Cared?" Jake finished. He nodded. "Sure. But I didn't. In all honesty, I was so relieved. I was so relieved that this baby could be dead." Jake shook his head sadly and looked at the floor. "I feel terrible for even thinking it."

Norm sighed. "You weren't exactly ecstatic about this to begin with." He looked at Jake and then asked, "Have you told Neytiri how you feel?"

Jake couldn't help but laugh a bit, but it wasn't a happy laugh. "Not at all. You know how she feels about this. How can I tell her that?" Norm didn't know what to say. "Norm. What happens when this child is born, and I don't love it as my own?"

Norm was usually full of answers, which was why he was Jake's advisor a lot of the time. But this time, he didn't really know what to say. Norm sighed and then said, "You're just going to have to try."

· · ·

Neytiri came into hers and Jake's room, where Kiyeri was sprawled on their hammock. She was staying there, since no one came around here – Jake had made it off-limits to the clan. "Neytiri needs her rest. We should leave her be," he said to the members with a smile. They didn't question him. The only problem with Kiyeri staying in their room was at night. Jake had been kicked out of his own hammock, and he had been reduced to sleeping on the floor. This baby had better be worth it, Jake had thought on more than one occasion.

Neytiri sat down on the bed beside Kiyeri. Kiyeri was so bored, and she rolled her eyes as Neytiri came in. "Oh, look who it is: Mrs. Sullen," Kiyeri growled softly, making a play on Neytiri's last name.

Neytiri shook her head and looked at her hands. "I know you are mad. But you have to stay in here. It is your reputation."

"Since when do you care about my reputation?" Kiyeri asked her. She looked at her cousin. "You mean your reputation."

Neytiri looked up. "Excuse me?"

"You are so obsessed with keeping your members' respect, you are taking someone else's baby and making it yours so they don't kick you off the throne," Kiyeri said. "I'm not dumb."

Neytiri felt like she had been slapped. "Sweetheart... You were in trouble. I wanted to help."

"But in helping me, you helped yourself," Kiyeri said. Neytiri looked at Kiyeri in absolute awe, before she looked away; Kiyeri had nailed her. Kiyeri looked at her, somewhat amused. "Now I've upset you?"

Neytiri looked back at her younger cousin with a frown. "You know, maybe it is time you went back to the Horse Clan."

Kiyeri shrugged. "Whatever. I just want this thing out of me," she said, resting her hand on her swollen belly.

Neytiri bit her lip. She had to say what was on her mind. She had to warn Kiyeri. "You know, Kiyeri," Neytiri began, shifting her position so she was sitting more on the hammock, making it sway a little, "Giving up your son might be harder than you think."

Kiyeri scoffed. "Please. It will be the easiest thing I have ever done. What has this baby done but make me fat and ruin what could have been the best year of my life?"

Neytiri closed her eyes and exhaled. "Well, I just think that, if it were me – "
"Stop!" Kiyeri said, interrupting her cousin. "Who says I feel anything you do? I am nothing like you, Neytiri!" Anger flashed in Kiyeri's sun-kissed eyes as she looked at Neytiri.

Neytiri smiled a little. "You always say that like you are proud. Well, the moment I see a glimmer of myself or the rest of our family in you, I will be pleased."

"Well don't hold your breath," Kiyeri said sarcastically, with an overly dramatic roll of her eyes. Neytiri shook it off and got up, starting to walk away. "Wait," Kiyeri began, and Neytiri turned around, "On second thought... Do." Kiyeri smirked. Neytiri growled softly and left.